GENERAL ‘ARTIE’ CULATE

Smoke from the Eyjafjallajökull volcanic eruption in Iceland.

(Editor: Site revision 11th July 2010) This “General” blog page will disappear on 31st July 2010 as part of the downsizing that is happening. This page was a last ditch attempt by the Editor to attract commentary on everyday happenings, but in effect it followed the demise of similar pages over the past 3+ years. Thanks to those who have made sensible attempts to keep the page on the straight and narrow.

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224 Responses to GENERAL ‘ARTIE’ CULATE

  1. Editor in Brisbane says:

    RECOMMENDED SWITCH TO ‘CIVILIAN’ BLOGS

    During the halcyon days of LI blogging, in February last year, when we were at the peak of our enthusiasm, I was moved to publish the Civilian Blogs. A reminder here that those pages are an entirely different approach to ‘Military’ and among other wishes, harboured my hopes that some of you would contribute your private and social banter, with photos – as in fact Sloop did – which resulted in some fine pictures of Taunton.

    For a while, the interest prevailed, but as with the LI blogs, the effort withered on the vine. However, a browse will reveal that they are generally bubbling along albeit on the back burner.

    The closure of many of the LI blogs, this General Artie Culate page included, this forthcoming 31st July, does not spell an end to exchanges of friendly views on modern life. JT has summarised his views many times on the importance of blogging and a switch to the Civilian Blogs might open a welcome alternative. They will be edited and expanded according to usage and volume, without carping from me over content. The difference being of course that a contributor is directing his/her comment at a chosen individual.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Hello Derek

      Good to see you are in the back ground, and not giving up on us completely. When I started on blog I had a lot to give but like every one else after a while I faltered. It does get harder to talk about different things to keep every one interested, especially about your own every day life. Every so often something happens to brighten up your life then before you know it life settles down again and everything goes back to normal if there is such a thing as normal.

      It’s good to see Bill back on blog which is brilliant for you as he is one of your original bloggers, you’ll be able to catch up on old times. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all get the amber nectar on prescription, we would be cured in no time at all. lol.
      Take care.

      • Editor in Brisbane says:

        G’Day JB

        Thanks for comment, I take your point about items of interest. One of the alternative options for the ‘Civilian’ blog is just making a comment – like a diary entry, needn’t be directed at another – just a comment on one’s own page – or a photo. Now that you’ve mastered the Picasa URL uploading, we might see more records of your travels?

        Bill is a marvellous Old Soldier and so supportive of Nancy and I’m thrilled to have him back again with gusto. The OZ wine exporters are pleased too – sales had been dropping off. I’ll have to recommend a few Ozzie Screech labels (as JT would say).

  2. Derek Lovemore, Editor says:

    MY PERSONAL FAREWELL

    Thank you All, for the many, many kind and heartfelt comments that you have sent me, both by blog and email. Significantly, the volume of scans across the remaining pages, hit an all-time high today. Maybe I should have resigned more often!

    You all have my email, so feel free to remain in contact at any time. The Personal Blogs remain unchanged.

    Good Luck

    Carpe Diem!

  3. Geoff Cherry says:

    I am sorry the blogs are closing, I found them by mistake, not so long ago, I wish I could have put more in than I did, but my memory has not served me very, well of late, I wish the best of luck to you all in the future, Derek old mate you have done proud.
    Best wishes to all. Geoff

  4. JT says:

    The blogs have been of enormous importance for the contributors. I also have had a sense of waning interest probably as we old timers have repeated our reminiscences which were sparse and fleeting to say the least. The Re-Union was a triumph.

    I am sure we are all grateful to Derek for creating and maintaining the blog (even tho he is a grumpy Old Git). “Farewell the Trumpets” or in this case the bugles?

    Take care of yourselves

    JT

  5. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED
    I omitted to say a big thank you for all the work you have done for the blogs since you started it. You have brought a lot of DCLI’ians together and they like me will miss the banter and good write ups etc and again thanks for all the good work you have done in bringing so many together on the blogs etc, Swanny.

  6. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED
    Had my PC restored to health, my grandson fixed it yesterday. I shall be really sorry to see the blogs shut down, but it is your prerogative to do so. Apart from my problems, ie Hospital etc I have been on since being given the blogs from Bill Oates in I think 2006 at Bob Cook’s funeral at Hayle. Anyway Derek best regards to you and Audrey from Doris and I.

  7. Jack Madron says:

    I see some blogs didn’t last till the end of the month. Never mind. It was OK while it lasted but life goes on all the same. Thanks for everything.

    ED: Thanks Jack. The remaining pages are available for scanning and downloading material if needed. Those removed are ‘in storage’ – as in fact will be ALL pages – just removed from active viewing. So, the recorded history remains.

    PS: Who knows? Maybe Private Lazarus, MMG squaddie extraordinaire will rise again!

    PPS: I’m toying with the idea of keeping open the essential Memoriale Pages, DCLI as a Regimental Page, Tom’s Memoirs and Swanny’s Page – given some feedback of a positive nature.

  8. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny will be off line for a time. His PC has picked up a virus and he’s waiting for his grandson to get it better.

    JB.
    Enjoyed the Sunday at The Keep. A bit too hot if anything but we can’t grumble. Better than blowing a hoolie and rain. Numbers were down but we’re not getting any younger mate and unfortunately, nature’s taking its course. Still. Cheer up, there’s always next year. lol.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      I must apologise to you, I forgot to mention I met your lovely daughter. Who was that guy in your company, is he a blogger? The weather was lovely and warm just right for the occasion. I’m inclined to agree with you why the numbers are shrinking. As you said there is always next year, lets hope the weather is good to us again then.

      Seems we are losing our blogging pages, sad to say the least but I think it’s been on the cards for a while now.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        Which chap do you mean? I met three ex machine gunners that day. Bill Kelloway, Fred Baulch and Alan Collins. Fred remembered me and Bill, but we couldn’t place him and Alan was in Belize most of the time.
        The other chap with us was Graham Martin, Honorary bugler of our W Cornwall branch. He’s the nephew of Joe Tippett, bugler who died some time ago.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          I think he introduced himself as Alan Collins, but I was concentrating on talking to you so I missed it. Never mind I’ll catch it next time I’m at Bodmin, please bring your album again as I would like to have more time looking at it.

  9. Sloop JB says:

    ED

    While in Cornwall I visited Michael Austin’s widow hoping to get some photos of Michael when he was in the DCLI. Unfortunately she didn’t have any or if she had, she couldn’t find any. So I drew a blank there.

    • JT says:

      No problem Sloop, ‘course since I had the face lift and botox I am often thought to be a teenager, as you can imagine.

      • Sloop JB says:

        JT

        My wife said you must be the most gorgeous, handsomest, good looking dude in whole of London, let her know which products you use and she will try it out on me, lol

        • Jack Madron says:

          JB.
          What have you been feeding your wife? As for products JT uses. You can get it at any B and Q stores. Polifilla. lol.

          • Sloop JB says:

            Hello and Good Morning Jack,

            Just been to B&Q and got a few boxes of Polifilla to tart myself up. It’s not what Peggy is eating, I’ve offered to take her out for a treat for the day and get her into Specsavers before she knew it, lol.

            It was good to see you at Bodmin t’other Sunday, I liked the way you’ve got your photo album set out, very neat indeed. It gave me pleasure to meet Sylvia and Margaret as well. Were they pleased with their Empire Clyde mugs? Didn’t seem to be so many people there again this year.

  10. JT says:

    Hi everyone back online. Sloop not so much about “OLD faces” if you don’t mind. Everyone else calm down on other matters please or we will have to have some extra drill supervised by Terry.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Hello JT

      I don’t mean to be rude but there was more old faces, mine included, than there were young ones. Terry is a pussy cat, not a bad bone in his body.

      I see every one had a good blogging session while I was away, nearly went down the coalhole again as well. I can’t think of anything exciting to help the man with his book, unless he he wants to hear about the time when I was in training, swinging across the water with my rifle slung over my shoulder, on reaching the other side the rifle slipped, the barrel hit the ground and the butt swung round and smacked me right in the mouth, if there was a time I wish I had never had a rifle it was then.

  11. Sloop JB says:

    Hello All

    My wife and myself are back home after spending two glorious weeks in the wonderful Gods County of Cornwall. I know you guys call us Emmets but that won’t stop us coming down to that part of the country.

    It was good to see Peter Male and Terry Joll at the town of Truro, we are very pleased that Terry is fine after his mishap that day. I fulfilled a long time ambition of mine and that was to be part of a big service in a Cathedral, after watching them so long on television the chance presented itself and I took it.

    On the Sunday of the rally at Bodmin I saw quite a few old faces and I also had the pleasure of meeting a few new ones, Sylvia and Margaret (Royffe) as was and a couple other Bloggers. The old faces were Jack, Swanny, Terry Simons and grandson, Roger Allen and several others. I handed out the Flyers concerning the Empire Clyde mugs, my biggest wish is that all the people who took them home have no problems fulfilling their orders.

    We hope it won’t be too long before we’re back among you all again. Best wishes to you all, and we wish you all nothing but good luck for the future.

    John and Peggy.

  12. JT says:

    Ed

    Look forward to having a look. My Apple is crashing on anything other than blog and email. i.e when I click the above link it crashes. Seeing an Apple nerd tomorrow so hope he can fix.

  13. Editor says:

    THE ADMIRABLE CRICHTON (Paradise Lagoon in the USA)

    1957 Elstree Studios movie starring Kenneth More.

    Saw a re-run today on Brisbane TV and recognised Horse Shoe Beach and Rifle Butts cove and nearby rocks at the other end of that beach where we all dived into the incoming tidal waves. Had never picked this out before, but all the exterior island shots are within the set constructed on the beach. The somewhat outdated theme is a bit scatty, but light entertainment on a beach that we all knew so well.

  14. JT says:

    The Lying Dutchman has stupidly invited people to suggest changes in the law on a web site. Thousands have put in suggestions including “Repeal the Law of Gravity”

  15. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    Lib Con pact. Not Lib Lab. Libs got the right colour. Yellow, right down their spines.

  16. Swanny Swanson says:

    Now read in the paper that CAM the man is going to cut the rates of pay for our front line troops. He was out there last week prancing around and now to tell our troops that he is cutting their pay. What else are this Lib Lab Pact going to cut, what incentive is it for our brave service men and women to have that news? They will be devastated and affect the morale and spirit to be told this, as Jack always says, same old Tory lies.

  17. Jack Madron says:

    On TV news today. Cam the Con’s wife outside a mockup of No 10 with a dummy. Now we have two Fertfaces. God help us all.

  18. Geoff Cherry says:

    It’s the face they are ashamed of, all bums look the same at that angle.

  19. Islam double standard.

    Bill wants us to know that all the fuss about the burkha is kinda hollow, don’tcha think?

  20. Terry Joll says:

    Did you go Sloop JB or did you go to Trago to get some black shoes. You will not do that again will you.
    Terry

    • Steve Billett says:

      Sloop still in his little chalet near Mevagissey, but asked me to wish Terry and everyone else well, he will be back on Friday or Saturday.

    • JT says:

      Terry

      Heard you were in hospital. Whats up doc ?

  21. JT says:

    Sloop

    Did you go ?

  22. Swanny Swanson says:

    JT
    Been up all night pressing my KD, been in my kitbag since 1955 ha ha. As Jack said roasting hot yesterday especially with my blazer which my son Donald gave me few years ago. It is tailor made and weighs a ton! lovely for winter parades but very hot for this very hot period we have had. At least today we can take it off as we just have to parade for the Remembrance Sevice at the DCLI War Memorial, at least it’s good training for Afghanistan.

  23. JT says:

    Jack

    Should have gone in KD

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      Hate to admit it but have forgotten how to put putties on. Still. Never mind eh ?

  24. Jack Madron says:

    My god it was hot in Truro today. I bet it was hotter than Jamaica. Still, I enjoyed the day. Looking forward to tomorrow at The Keep. Forecast says it’s going to be hotter.

  25. JT says:

    Swanny

    Shirt Sleeve Order ?

  26. Swanny Swanson says:

    Ed.

    My niece goes to Glastonbury with her partner evey year, stay in their camper van, she rang and said they are having a drink in The Cornish Arms, can’t keep the Janners out anywhere. I didn’t realise that Willie Nelson was there and Doris and I really enjoyed it, normally all they have is modern groups and I hate all that new music crap.

    Well all, I am taking Nobby, Jack, Bob Fox with our Branch Standard to Truro for Armed Forces Day, it is red hot here for us Poms, so the heat will be hot parading in blazers etc, but we Dukes are up for it. Also it is Mazy Day in PZ and there will be thousands in the town for this annual event, a whole weekend of The Galowan Festival, with hundreds of emmits YUK.

  27. Jack Madron says:

    Lazing in a lovely warm bath with bubbles (no sarky comments from you JT) when the boss yelled up the stairs, Swanny just phoned and said Willie Nelson was on BBC Channel 4 at Glastonbury Festival. Didn’t miss much. Thanks Swanny. What a brilliant show.

    ED: Bath! bubbles! hot water! telephone! radio! TV? “You’ve never had it so good” – in the UK. As MacMillan once said!

    PS: He also said “If people want a sense of purpose they should get it from their archbishop. They should certainly not get it from their politicians”.

  28. Jack Madron says:

    I believe in cuts. Approx one inch below their chins. ‘Course that would be a bit awkward with Cam the Con and Georgie Boy. Chinless.

  29. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED
    I read your report about your new Prime Minister – a sheila – bravo, consolation prize for you, a Labour sheila at that. If only we didn’t get that witch Thatcher – a right wing Tory from a grocer’s shop. Your girl won’t give you the same grief that Thatcher gave us. Now we have a new Anti Christ in Cameron and his so called Lib Dem apprentice, also a millionaire, so think yourselves lucky in OZ to have a Socialist.

    Before I finish. I read in The Daily Mirror that Cameron’ former drinking club The Bullingdon Boys, have been on the rampage again, ripping out all the plumbing and leaving a trail of damage right through The Hartwell Hotel in Aylesbury and damaging cars and property outside the Hotel. Leopards never lose their spots.

    Bravo for the Bullingdon Boys.

  30. JT says:

    Ed

    I see you have got a Welsh bint as prime minister.

    ED: Well JT, and a bent bint at that! Talk about the Night of the Long Knives. Poor old Kev07 – Rudd the Dud – right royally shafted. Shows the Aussie Labour party for what it is – governance by Trade Unions and Factions – fuck the Electorate. I’m not a Socialist, but believed in fairmindedness for Ole Kev. He shoudda been given the option to test us at the Polls. Now Gillard the Ever Righteous can ride out a wave of feminism and popularity as the first female Federal PM. As our Liberal Leader says “Same old ruinous fiscal policies, different salesman (woman)”.

    Socialism has put us in the shit in OZ. All the crap about riding out the Global Downturn and the Emissions Trading Scheme (is the ice cap still there?) AND boatloads of illegal bleks (primary export of Indonesia) – yeah too right – mis-spend billions, rack up an enormous future debt after inheriting a massive Liberal surplus, and open arms to any fucker who wants to gorge on Aussie compassion.

    These fuckers know only how to spend, they’ve no idea about capitalism and the generation of wealth – just tax the shit outta everything that moves. They’ve just about brought the Mining Industry to the brink of rebellion. See ’em backpeddle now that Rudd the Dud’s gone walkabout. Pity they haven’t the guts to enter business themselves and take a few risks with their own dough and enterprise. Politicians – (especially the fucking lawyers) – Bah! Humbug! Armageddon awaits! Beam me up Scottie!

  31. Jack Madron says:

    Ed.
    Is that what put Swanny off that crab sandwich at the Union Hotel?

    ED: Jack, I suspect that the Union landlord musta looked a bit like Rosie, rather than the content of the sanger.

  32. JT says:

    Graham

    I think they will be using stand ins. Swanny and Rosie (she must be over 80) in advisory roles. Not a pretty sight either of them.

    The coal shed episodes are shrouded in mystery to protect the innocent (not Swanny). It was the 2 nubiles that Swanny entertained in the dark who have to be protected.

    It is unlikely that Rosie appeared in the coal shed. She entertained the troops in a dodgy out of bounds club on Reid Street. Whether getting her tits out for a shilling was entertaining is a matter of opinion. Clearly the event was popular with the sex starved and drunken soldiery. (On pay nights). Rosie, Mocking Bird and Monkeyface are enshrined for ever in the annals of “A” Coy Bermuda including one suspects, medical records in some cases.

    ED: To wit – popular quote from route marching ditties. “‘Tis no good standing on the seat, the crabs in ‘ere can jump 10 feet”

  33. Graham Martin says:

    Blimey! ‘Ere’s me just made up to Branch Bugler and mixing with the stars already. It’s no good Swanny and Rosie doing the Bogart bit in black and white, especially in the coal shed . All that you would see is four eyeballs and two sets of false teeth gleaming in the moonlight. See you all Sunday.

  34. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    I’d love to see you in belly dancing dress. How about the Dance of the Seven Veil? Rosie could change her name to Salome then you could sing that song. Salome Salome. You should see Salome. Dancing there with her tits all bare. Down where the Duke boys go.

    ED: Yeah Jack – you should have seen Rosie – not only her tits were bare – but her gums as well! Rum and coke had some strange effects.

  35. Swanny Swanson says:

    Ed.
    Are you saying that for the starring role in this movie means I will be speaking in Arabic with a Cornish Accent? Also how much is LOA, would it be worth my while? Just imagine me and Rosie doing the Bogart part with her in the new movie Casablanca, especially her dressed in bell dancing dress.

    ED: Bloody Hell Swanny – a joke’s a joke – t’ain’t a horror movie! We’ll need the Pay Sergeant to work out the current value of a 1954 Bermuda shilling per minute in 2010. Maybe Iranian TV will be cheaper and we can dub in your dialogue.

  36. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Are you saying they had vegetation over six inches high on the Holiday Isle ?

  37. JT says:

    Ed.

    Re Rosies condition. Is that deflation? ‘Course on the other hand there would be an inflationary effect on the fee. What is a shilling worth today? Perhaps Spielberg would be happier filming the coal store epic starring of course Swanny. They could shoot the film in black and black. Low budget.

    ED: Well, well JT. I happened to have a quiet word with Rosie – I do get around! She said that the experience (at the time) was so noteworthy that she never ever flashed ’em again. While she never said – as such – I sense that Swanny left his mark on her – and I should know – I was there at the first flashing! Regarding the Spielberg Epic, I have a snippett of info to tantalise the troops. They are mocking up (no pun intended) a set on the Island’s old sea plane hanger on Darrell’s Island (where I met Forrest Tucker filming the ‘Crunch & Des’ series). There they will re-enact the Bugler’s RRSP (Right Royal Shafting at Prospect) with Swanny being offered the Tech. Dir. role. ‘Corse, mark you, the episode is for Egyptian TV, with Arabic sub-titling!

  38. JT says:

    Ed

    I suppose the story about Rosie getting her tits out for a shilling is unacceptable. Or Swannies encounter with those buglers who were shagging Mocking bird and Monkeyface in the barrack room? Shudder.

    ED: JT. We have received a request from Steven Spielberg to shoot a movie about those events, with Swanny as the key actor. Rosie declined when asked – said she was feeling a bit droopy these days.

  39. JT says:

    Terry

    You are right, the little buggers used to chop down all vegetation over 6 inches high. I should have hired ’em out as landscape gardeners and paid them a bit extra.

    • JT says:

      That is why there are so many golf courses in Bermuda thanks to Cornish National Servicemen clearing the ground.

  40. Terry Joll says:

    Jack
    Anything bigger than a cabbage patch must have looked liked a jungle to the Newlyn boy. I bet the machete would drag on the ground if he had it on his belt, no good for heaving coal either.

    Terry

  41. Jack Madron says:

    Jungle in Bermuda?

  42. Swanny Swanson says:

    Ed,
    As Jack said if any of my stories are apt you can use them if you think fit. I don’t know if I mentioned this one before.

    I remember when we were issued with machetes for training in the training area etc, to cut back plants as in jungle clearing and the people who got them issued(me) for one and you kept them in your locker. As said before when we first arrived in Bermuda we had a lot of Korean Vets with us and a lot of these guys were still in stress from that war .As young naive lads we didn’t understand what a lot of these guys went through and they would go a little crazy on occasions and cause mayhem. Most of these men were sent to Jamaica or the UK as we couldn’t handle the amount as we only had the guardroom to accommodate the mild incidents of normal Army life.

    After most of these men had gone we still had a few likely lads and one of them named Gattford I think his name was (Headbanger) and one night in our billet he came into and went to my locker and grabbed my machete and threatened to cut Cpl Roberts (Robbo’s) head off. Apparently they were earlier in the Naafi and had had a row. Someone from our room ran to the guardroom and he was arrested. You didn’t realise at that time how violence can get out of hand and this crackpot was going to use my machete to do the evil deed. I think after nick in Jamaica he was sent back to Colchester in the Big NIick, never heard anything about that incident again.

  43. Jack Madron says:

    Ed.
    Can’t think of any other stories but if any of my stories already related are of any use like HR and the April 1st tale, he is welcome to use them. Also the town patrol one.

    ED: Thanks Jack for your positive response. Is it only you and I these days?

    Brian was directed towards our blogs and I suggested such an option. I rather gather that he is looking for a ‘mini story’ rather than a blog comment. However, he is short of time and might need to resort to the blogs. Whatever, we have done what we can. Personally, the most memorable of my recollections that were/are noteworthy in terms of “National Service” occurred in Training at Bodmin, where we rookies got up to all sorts of boyish pranks and nonsense.

  44. Editor says:

    BROADCAST REQUEST TO 1DCLI CARIBBEAN SERVING MEMBERS

    I’ve had a request from one Brian Davison, an author of a book about National Service in the 1950s, who is seeking anecdotal, humorous, and unique non-sexual stories from lads while in the West Indies. Anything with a local flavour such as boyish pranks in the billets and/or on guard duties. Might keep you outta the pubs for a coupla nights.

    Time is running short, so dinna tarry cheps – if you can help. Send about 400-500 words to my email address.

    I’ve invited Brian’s perusal of the web and blog sites – but feel free to repeat any stories already there if you wish, although a few fresh ones will be appreciated. Shouldn’t be too difficult for “S” Coy wallahs, they had precious little to do, apart from bullshitting over their big guns! – so imagine the untold stories!

  45. Sloop JB says:

    All

    We’re off on holiday for a while, we will catch up with you at a later date, behave yourselves won’t you? Lol

  46. JT says:

    England v Algeria

    Groan
    Over paid and over there. Bring em home paying their own fares. Send the boring gray suits back to M & S

    • Editor says:

      HEIR TO THE THRONE – HUMBUG!

      Never mind the fucking fitba’ JT, read what this flap eared, chinless fuckwit has to say about science and commonfuckingsense. At some time – god forbid – in the future, this Islam condoning wanker, will become the reigning monarch with his crackpot theories on everything from spoonbending to modern architecture.

      He’s a fucking menace. Get Republican cheps – before ’tis too late. Pity he didn’t turn into a tampon!

  47. Swanny Swanson says:

    JT
    Had a nice afternoon with Bill, he didn’t go to Regimental Dinner, he had a friend with him and they were going to some dinner party in Hereford, nice to have our photos taken together.

  48. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED
    I wrote a report of LI Weekend on Reggie Mental Blog, but omitted to say we shared a room with 3 great guys from South Shields who were in DLI-3LI and turned out to be great friends over the weekend with Nobby and myself. Our travelling mate Geoff Burley was in another hut with mates he served in Korea with, also he met Bill Griffiths whose brother served in the Bugle Section together in the KSLI

    Also it was not so wet (beer) that is in previous year. Nobby and I were in bed by 11pm-12pm each night, broke all records. Past years we were in the beer tent 7pm-2-4am and always enjoyed the craik. Age has caught up with us.

  49. JT says:

    Swanny

    Saw the photos of you and Bill. Must say you both looked very well.

  50. Swanny Swanson says:

    Ed
    Now got in from saying our goodbyes to our Bristol mates and Joe and Anne at Mousehole, they are coming to Cornwall again next year and have enjoyed their week down here. Nobby and I are off to Nesscliff tomorrow morning for the weekend will give you report next week.TTFN.

    ED: Thanks ‘Ole Mate, behave yerself.

  51. Terry Joll says:

    It could be like that every year J,T if only more members were interested.

    We have the Annual Cassino Dinner on 26th June at Newquay (Derek attended last year) followed by the Rally at Bodnin on Sunday 27th June, I am sure all those are able to attend will have a great time.

    The Cornwall Veterans Day is being held on Saturday 26th June in Truro. Service in the Cathedral starting at 1100hrs but be there by the latest for 1030 to ensure you get a seat. After the service there is a March Past of sorts! Followed by Bun Fight in the Legion. Hope to see a few Dukes there.

    Terry

  52. JT says:

    Have a good Re-Union lads. Last years meeting was fantastic wasn’t it ?

  53. Sloop JB says:

    Swanny

    It’s good to see you guys are enjoying yourselves, hope the weather stays kind to you.

  54. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED
    As I said about the visit to Penzance for a week’s holiday, Doris and I picked up Joe and Anne Knight from the rail station in PZ and drove them over to the caravan site at Mousehole where they will be staying in the adjoining caravan to John and Jennie Griffin and Graham Bradshaw. Graham is staying as last year in a guest house in PZ, Graham travelled down from Bristol in John’s car, and prior to getting Graham settled in his guest house before going on to Mousehole.

    When we arrived with Joe and Anne, John and Jenny kindly laid on a late lunch for all of us, for which we thank them kindly. After a good two hours of chat and banter, John and Jenny drove Joe and Anne to get shopping supplies in PZ. Doris and I dropped off Graham near his guest house.


    We are all meeting up at Heamoor RBL Club and Doris phoned Nobby and Mary Clarke who will meet us at the Club. Also Terry and June Simons will also be there for hopefully a good evening of banter and fun. ie Graham telling his repertoire of jokes etc. Really looking forward to a good evening, also to getting a few photos as well.

    ED: G’Day Swanny. Thanks for above pix of Brad – performing as usual no doubt. Brings tears to yer eyes dunnit?

  55. HMT EMPIRE CLYDE COMMEMORATIVE MUG.

    Go to the Clyde Blog – linked above – for the latest developments.

  56. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED
    Trevor Webb, Barry Cornish, never been to LI weekend ever I don’t think, also Keith Mannings. So our star photographers will not be taking photos etc, hopefully Terry Joll, Nobby and I will attempt to get some photos. Hopefully Jack will bring his camera to the Branch meeting and take some shots of the group present, hopefully too,Trevor and Barry will be at the Branch Meeting and have their cameras with them.

  57. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED
    Had a phone call from John Griffin, he is driving down from Bristol and Graham Bradshaw is coming down with John and Jennie this Saturday 5th June to stay in a caravan as they do when they come down to PZ. Also Joe and Anne Knight are coming by train to PZ and I will collect them from PZ rail station and they are going to stay in a caravan on the same site in Mousehole, they are staying for a week.

    They like us are looking forward to meeting up again as they did for the Re-Union last year, hopefully the weather will be good as this makes all the difference. We are hoping to meet up with quite a few old mates ie Terry Simons and his wife, Nobby Clarke, Jack Madron and anyone from our area to have a bit of reunion again Anyone who reads our blogs would be most welcome to meet up with us and have a good old chat as we did last year. We don’t seem to have as many bloggers on our site as we used to. GOYA, the more the the better for banter etc.

    ED: Thanks for updates Swanny. Good to read that you are fighting fit for all the June Events and that a mini Re-Union is underway. No doubt Bradshaw will entertain as usual and Joe will quietly sink a few toddies. Give my regards to all, I wish that I could have made it again, but the Labour Government in OZ persists in fucking up our economy, and someone of conscience needs to be here to keep the fuckers in line.

    Joking aside, I wish you all well, good health and a fantastic week of camaraderie. Just keep an eye on these “S” Coy jokers, not sure that haven’t got a trick or two up their sleeve. Please take plenty of photos (in focus -!!) -is Mannings there this time? Treveor Webb takes a mean photo- so get some group shots for our Picasa Albums ‘Ole Mate. Say Hello to Doris.

  58. Swanny Swanson says:

    Terry
    Our tickets for LI Weekend came in the post yesterday, ie Nobby’s and mine, looking forward to going as I havn’t been for last couple of years due to illness as you know. Hopefully see a few friends we have met over the years ie the DLI boys and some of the LI chaps that soldiered with my son in 2LI and RGJ, let’s hope the weather will be fine for the weekend.

  59. Terry Joll says:

    Swanny.
    Those Pirates of Penzance get everywhere. Just returned from Hall for Cornwall where we saw The Pirates of Penzance. Good show

    Nice to have seen a local boat at Dunkirk. When they had the previous Anniversary in 2000 many boats went from Falmouth and one of them was one that our dear friend Paul used to have trips on. Before it went to Dunkirk he took one of his DCLI carved wooden plaques and screwed it on to the bulkhead. Paul said, “I can’t go but the Dukes badge will return”.

    Terry

  60. Swanny Swanson says:

    Ed.
    While watching the news about the Dunkirk small boats etc re-enacting the event I picked out a fishing boat from that time with our local REG PZ 61. Jack, she was painted blue but the caption went very quickly to get a good look at the boat, very much like my Dads boat the Janie PZ30. What a coincidence to see a PZ boat in among all those little boats in France.

  61. Swanny Swanson says:

    Sloop & Jack
    Get your machine guns at the ready, you are about to called for Internal Security. They are running amok in Kingston, drug barons V Army – Police bullets flying everywhere. Get Support Coy at the double to quell this drugs baron and co, make sure to have plenty of ammo with you. Go get ’em Batman and Robin.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Swanny

      Give us some Spliff and we’ll smoke them out, failing that we’ll play Reggae music and nab them when they are tired out.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Yeah. Sure. “S” Coy to the rescue again. What would the Battalion have done without us?

  62. Jack Madron says:

    Terry.
    Two Pin Badges and a wrist band for me please.

  63. Terry Joll says:

    Jack,
    Now that you are awake and out of that black nightdress I can tell you that I have just received the Pin Badges from H4H and will bring them to Heamoor on 8th June. Anyone else looking in who would like some or the H4H wristbands get in touch.
    Terry

  64. Editor in Brisbane. Relayed from Rex Brain says:

    GOD BLESS THE CORNISH!

    A photographer on vacation was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read ‘$10,000 per call’. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

    The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

    Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. ‘O.K. thank you,’ said the American.

    He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington, Philadelphia, Boston and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same ‘$10,000 per call’ sign under it.

    The American, upon leaving Vermont, decided to travel to Cornwall to see if they had the same phone. He arrived in Cornwall, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read ’50 pence per call.’

    The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. ‘Reverend, I’ve travelled all over America and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?’

    The vicar smiled and answered, ‘You’re in Cornwall now, boy, it’s a local call.’

    KEEP SMILING!

  65. Arthur Pullthrew says:

    Dear Globs
    I thought Id share a laugh with you. I was talokng to my mate Smudger who was in the Houshold cavaory in 1951. He was saying he was Ferret driver. I said “did your ferret catch many rabbits Smudge?”
    Laugh ? I peed myself. But I do that a lot\ nowadays.
    TTFN

  66. Terry Joll says:

    I took my Wendy out to Penzance on Saturday for some shopping. Whilst walking up Causeway Head I was confronted by a chap wearing a leather type trilby hat and ladies nightdress. He looked a proper plonker. most probably an Emmett.

    I then surprised Wendy by taking her out to lunch. No! not the Union Hotel but somewhere far more appetising. We ended up in the KFC. It was ansum. Looked around Penzance for DCLI Chaps but none were allowed out it seems.
    Terry

    • Sloop JB says:

      Terry

      We hope you kept your whiskers from getting greasy?

    • JT says:

      Blimey Jack

      Terry spotted you in your walking out dress.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JT.
        Couldn’t have been me Guv. Terry said nightdress and I haven’t got one. Grew out of it years ago. Secondly. I’m not an Emmet. Unlike our Terry, we don’t call them Emmets. We call them emoroids. They’re red, hang around in bunches and a bloody pain in the arse.

  67. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    I stayed away from the sea front over the week end. You probably saw on the SW News that they had the power boat races in Mounts Bay. I did hear that the price of a hamburger was a fiver and sausage and chips was a tenner.

    Of course, it was the strawberries and champers lot. We could have done with a Vickers here. lol.
    Can’t complain about the weather though. Lovely.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Can’t you get a MMG from somewhere and strap it to your belt so that you can have it handy for such occasions, lol,

      We did see the boats on the news racing around the bay and we did think of you actually, hide away time I do believe.

    • Rev Maltravers ex RN says:

      Hi Jack

      If you really need vicars in Penzance I would be thrilled to come as you know. I shall be going to Newquay in July as usual to watch those lovely surfers so I could visit you then.

      Love Fluffy

  68. Jack Madron says:

    What they want is a half dozen Vickers there.
    That would sort them out. Every fifth round a tracer.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Have you been sitting by the harbor eating Kellies Cornish Icecream, and have they holiday makers turned up yet.The weather will bring them out.

  69. Sloop JB says:

    Morning Chaps

    Looking at, and listening to the news I’m glad I’m not in Kingston at the moment, it’s been boiling up for a long time, now it’s come to a head. I hope that anyone on holiday there are safe.

  70. Terry Joll says:

    Sloop JB
    When I arrived in Osnabruck in October 1957 Charlie Gough was the Dining Room NCO, he spent all day putting two slices of bread on plates and filling up the butter machine, he would turn the handle and small flower shaped pats of butter would appear, he also dollopped out spoonful of jam.

    He had a cushy number. Charlie was excused boots and always wore his issued shoes everywhere
    Terry

    • Tom Howell says:

      Terry & Sloop
      Charlie always had a cushy number. He was Capt Rouse’s groom in Belize where he dealt with much larger pats than in Osnabruck. He was also a groom to a General in Singapore where I met him
      Tom

  71. Terry Joll says:

    Sloop JB

    Yes, Charlie Gough passed away several years ago, He took over the job of Museum attendant for a while until retirement.
    It was at a 5th DCLI Dinner held at the Cliffdene Hotel that I again met Geordie Lightfoot Charlie Gough as a member of the Bodmin Branch attended, they recognised each other from previous years, I had met him previously on a Battlefield Tour with 5th DCLI OCA.
    He was from Sunderland.
    Terry

    • Sloop JB says:

      Terry

      Thanks for the confirmation about Charlie, time goes by so fast you sometimes doubt things in your own mind. I think Charlie was at Bodmin when I first joined.

  72. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED.
    Where were Reg and family from in the UK, I would be interested to know if possible perhaps John could let me know. That is when they came back to the UK.

    ED. I’ll inquire for you ‘Ole Mate.

    • Editor in Brisbane. says:

      REF: John Warrilow Jnr.

      Swanny, I have received a reply back from Reg’s son John, who has promised to forward more detail of his Mum & Dad’s whereabouts in the UK and some additional family detail.

      He is not too fast on his email and tends to lose type matter on timeout, so leave it all with me and I’ll advise. See latest uploads to the Picasa Album on Old Mates Picasa Albums (Military).

  73. Swanny Swanson says:

    Ed.
    Thanks for that news from Reg Warrilow’s son John. I am so sorry to hear of their death commented by John. As I said I was great friends of Reg and Rose and they looked after me like family when I had Christmas leave with them in 1954. My close mate Nobby Clarke would have known Reg, when he was post Cpl in Bermuda; Nobby reminds me so much of Reg as he does a similar thing as clatter his false teeth exactly like Reg used to do to me in a very funny manner. Again Derek thanks for bringing all this to light with the help of John, good memories of very good friends. God bless to John and his family.

    Neil (Swanny) Swanson.

    ED: Happy memories for me too, ‘Ole Mate. John Warrilow, as we knew him, was always good for a chuckle in the ranks with that false teeth trick.

  74. Swanny Swanson says:

    Ed,
    I didn’t know John and Rose Warrilow had any children? I stayed at their MQ on Christmas 1954 in Bermuda and I believe Rose joined up with John in Bermuda. Rose lived, I believe, in the USA and came to Bermuda?

    I knew John joined the DCLI from the KOYLI, I was great friends with John and we both bought cyclemaster ‘phut phuts’ from a shop in Hamilton. Have now looked at the pics on the blog and pick out two faces I knew. Ken Williams 1 PL, and I think Aherne 3 Pl. Sadly Ken passed away a couple of years ago. Fred Phillips, Nobby and I went to his funeral at Pendeen and represented the Regt. His wife Avril died two weeks ago, she went to school with Doris in Heamoor.

    There is a photo of John and myself on the blog taken with the two phut phuts outside 3Pl billet. Is Rose still alive? she originated from Glasgow if I remember.

    Nice for these photos to come to the blogs.

    ED: Quote from son John’s email

    “Rose Ann WARRILOW died 14 May 1986 aged 61 years. Reginald (Reg) WARRILOW died 29 June 1986 aged 61 years. Loved mum and dad of John and Debbie and grandparents of Jandy-Lee.

    Mum died of cancer, so dad stopped taking his heart pills and joined the love of his life, we miss them both very much.

    Dad was a kind and decent man, a hard worker and a character, Mum was a character too. He loved soccer and coached many successful high school teams”.

  75. Editor in Brisbane says:

    REG (Johnny) Warrilow RIP

    As mentioned earlier, I’m in touch with John’s son who is trickling in some Bermuda B/W pix from his father’s collection. 35mm colour shots to follow in due course.

    Go to Old Mates Picasa Albums to see some faces from 3 Platoon “A” Company, 1954 – 1955. The 3 Platoon formal group shot is already published on the “A” Coy site.

  76. Sloop JB says:

    Terry

    Talking of Charlie, am I right in saying he has passed away, if so his name should be entered in the Memoriale page. If you can confirm this then the Ed can put him there with the other guys.

  77. Sloop JB says:

    Terry

    Was Mary the young lady Charlie pinched? I met up with Charlie when I started coming down to Bodmin on Rally days, my wife and I sat with them, they were good company.

  78. Sloop JB says:

    JG

    You woke part of my past with your comments about different things and names, I think Bavistock was in the Intake I was in. I can see him and Cpl Flash Senior in my mind going about their business all round camp. Titch Horder and Paddy Lightfoot, the colourful rogues of the Regiment, I think they looked at the slammer as their own piece of camp.

  79. Terry Joll says:

    Most members of the Bugles in DCLI carried out duties of batman to the RSM. We used to look forward to doing so on exercises as the RSM would have large bucket of tea for himself and the buglers would have a lot of it. Jan knew what was going on but he looked after us.

    Regarding Cpl Flash Senior.

    When I joined DCLI in Osnabruck in October 1957 I would see this oldish soldier slowly making his way around the blocks with his plunger under his arm, this was the Regimental Sanitary Man Cpl Flash Senior. Everyone called him Flash, including the RSM and CO and not unnaturally I thought his name was Cpl Flash and I continued to think so until one night whilst Duty Bugler and Flash was Guard Commander he asked if I could make out the Guard Report. I could write and spell.
    I did this Report and was chuffed with my efforts until on the following morning I took the Guard Report to RSM Jan who wanted to know who the f*****g Guard Commander was. I replied Cpl Flash Sir.

    He then pointed out that he was Cpl Senior and I then had to rewrite the Guard Report in full again. This included locating the Orderly Officer and getting him to sign again, he was not pleased.

    I was BOS in Shrewsbury the day news was received that Flash had passed away.

    I believe I met Lightfoot many years ago, I think he served with 5th DCLI in Normandy and he attended a Regimental Dinner where he instantly recognised Charlie Gough and almost came to fisticuffs because Charlie had stolen his lady friend in the past.

    There were a few characters around in those days.
    Terry

  80. Editor in Brisbane says:

    RE: John Goddard in Queensland.

    JG has posted some anecdotal recall about the RSM, on the RSM’s blog page, that might be of interest to the Jamaica wallahs.

    JG also baby sat for the Royffe Family.

  81. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    We had a meal today down at Hayle. We went to the Brewers Fayre. Loggans Moor. Part of the Premier Inn. Had a lovely meal, ate to much but don’t care.

    Got a terrific book from my son. “The History of the Duke Of Cornwall’s Light Infantry. 1914-1919”.

  82. Swanny Swanson says:

    All
    My good friends Keith and Maureen Mannings came down to Cornwall as usual staying at Polgigga nr Lands End for two weeks holiday.

    My shower was getting old and US, so Keith came here and fitted a new shower for us, this is what you call friendship as he was on holiday and gave up a day to fit this new one. Today they came in and took Doris and I out for a lovely meal at lunchtime in a little pub near Hayle.

    I would like to say a big thank you from Doris and myself to be fortunate to have such great friends and an ex DCLI mate.

  83. Jack Madron says:

    Just watched the Final of the Twenty Twenty in Barbados. The highlight for me was the Flag of ST PIRREN flying high among the butchers aprons.
    Kernow Bys VYKEN.
    Well played ENGLAND.

  84. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    Preston. 1888/9. Villa. 1896/7. Spurs 1960/6i. Liverpool 1985/6. Arsenal. three times. Man United tree times including a back to back.
    What took Chelski so long?

  85. Swanny Swanson says:

    JT
    I have AGV and this virus came from the internet. First time I have had this problem, I have never had any problems from sending or receiving jokes or other mail. My grandson fixed it in pretty quick time, as he said you will get other firms trying to sell you various type of spyware etc when you go on the net.

    • JT says:

      Swanny

      Why do you think AVG didn’t block it? Touch wood I don’t get any problems so far as I have Apple

  86. JT says:

    Swanny

    Downloading email attachments is the usual cause. But do you have anti virus software? Jokes etc initiating from unknown people simply carry viruses along infecting as they are passed on. The large number of forwarded mails coming onto your computer means that it is inevitable that you will catch one sooner or later.

  87. Swanny Swanson says:

    All
    Have had a problem with a virus got in my PC. Now had my grandson here to rectify the problem, hopefully it is OK now. Good news is Chelsea won the FA Cup yesterday to win the double with the League last week. I asked him how this virus got in the PC and he said this happens, doesn’t know how. You don’t realise how vunerable your PC is.

  88. JT says:

    Tom

    I keep trying to remember to ask you. How come you could ride before you joined up ?

    • Tom Howell says:

      JT
      ‘Cos I was a little ol’ country boy! In my youth there were horses everywhere – used by carters, butchers, grocers etc and I used to make a nuisance of myself by hanging around to lead, harness and feed the horses etc. I used to put the horses out into the field etc and gradually got to be a competent rider, albeit some of the horses were Clydesdale and other large types. Many were nimble fell ponies.
      Happy days!

      Tom

  89. JT says:

    Er

    Shit. Me minds gone blank agin

  90. Sloop JB says:

    Jack

    I’ll bring my album along and we’ll see if we can sort it. If I can remember where The Keep is, lol!

  91. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    Can’t help with a name but I believe said chap in photo was in “S” Coy. Don’t remember which platoon. If he’s the one I’m thinking about I believe he was from St Ives same as Jim Andrews. Although the face is familiar, I could be wrong on all counts.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Thank you for your response, it’s awful when your mind goes blank, but then it was a long while ago.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        I know how you feel. There is a chap from St Ives in your photos in Minden who was in our platoon but I’m damned if I can remember his name. He’s in MG Platoon photo taken on Empire Clyde as well. Now, what the heck did I have for lunch yesterday?

  92. Sloop JB says:

    Anyone,

    On the DCLI Memoire page I noticed the name Tony Wills. There was a Wills in the Intake I was in, I can’t remember his Christian name. On my portrait page is a photo of my Intake, young Mr Wills is front row 2nd from left. If anyone recognises him as Tony please let me know, I would appreciate it very much.

  93. Sloop JB says:

    All

    Who said comedy is dead. Looking at the photos in the papers reminded me of Laurel and Hardy and the slapstick films. Lets all hope they do make a go of it for everybodys sake.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Please JB. Don’t insult Laurel and Hardy. In the paper today they were being called the next great double act. Some double act. More dangerous than the Ruskis during the cold war.

  94. Swanny says:

    All
    Isn’t it nice to be on the No. 10 table Cameron-Clegg etc like one happy family. I liked the bit on the news yesterday when the reporter showed Cameron for what he is. Last week slagging off Clegg, he didn’t know what to say, as they say what a difference a day makes (in politics). I would never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, looking at each other all starry eyed. Will it last?

  95. Jack Madron says:

    Why would Brown want to go to Oz? There are more immigrants there than there are in UK.

  96. WHAT WILL GORDON BROWN DO NEXT?

    Please don’t think about coming to OZ Gordon, we have too many freeloading ‘fiscal experts’ here already. Try Zimbabwe.

  97. Jack Madron says:

    Graham.
    The vibration in the helicopter would upset anything that’s not tied down.

  98. Graham Martin says:

    Don’t suppose we could have a flight attendant like that on the Penzance to Scilly run by any chance.

  99. JT says:

    Nice to see you are still keeping abreast of things Billy Boy

  100. Relayed for Bill Griffiths from Tiger Woods says:

    HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES

    Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

    The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

    Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services.’

    Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

    This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right, a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why didn’t Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

    Sincerely, Tiger Woods

  101. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    Donald was on Facebook bragging Chelsea, champions again. I didn’t know they won it last year or the year before or the year before that. Level playing field for your lot again. 12 against 10.

  102. Swanny says:

    All
    What a way to win the Premiership Title. Sorry Jack but to score eight-nil, we at Chelsea deserved to win it after wins home and away against Man Utd-Arsenal-Liverpool. Cannot wait till next week now to hopefully win the FA Cup and do the double, and the bonus of Didier Drogba to win the golden boot, what a bonus for the Blues.

  103. Our Ernie from Wigan says:

    Swanny

    We were robbed. They was a lot of bloody foreigners and the beer in London was nats piss

    • Sloop JB says:

      Are you Ernie the fastest milkman of the North? can we hear the bottles rattling in their crate.

      • Our Ernie from Wigan says:

        Sloop

        Thats a funny name. Nay lad not a milkman fast or slow. First time I had been to London and the last. There were no meat pies at half time neither. What a dump.

  104. JT says:

    By the time Gleggy and Flash Cam have buggered about for weeks this country will by broke like Greece.

    These pollies will do for us yet.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      I think it’s time to put our helmets on and keep our heads, we’re in for a rough ride, and as Jack said, God help us.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        I just recently got a green beret. Do you think I should get a steel helmet ?

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          You might have to dig a slit trench as well

          Jack oh Jack
          Will they come back that Man United crew,
          They let Chelsea get to No. one,
          And they came in at two.

          • Jack Madron says:

            JB.
            Even Monty lost a battle. Doubles and a Treble. Chelski have to go some to beat Man U’s record.

  105. Swanny says:

    Jack
    I totally agree with you Jack, I saw on the news today that the Lib Dem boss has shown his true colours. Public schoolboys unite. Clegg seems more Tory than who you call Fert Face, supposed to be a hung parliament, what a bloody farce and the Etonion buffoon will welcome him with open arms.

    I voted Lib Dem down here just to try and keep the Tories out, but at least that worked here but on the last time they were hundreds of votes down, just to say people are fickle.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Swanny.
      Fertface isn’t Tory. He’s a bloody Thatcherite. From bad to worse.

  106. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    It’s always been them and us. If Fertface gets into number 10 there’ll be more of them. God help us then.

  107. Swanny says:

    All
    My brother was on the phone this morning, he was in RAPC just after 1946 and has never been a member of the RBL. He said the Legion sends begging letters out for funds, and he was hopping mad and said today’s parade at Horseguards Parade and Charles an Co are there, and that the Legion is putting on a top class meal etc for all those big wigs. Have you ever heard anything like it, what a bloody farce.

    There are most of us giving to Help The Heroes by giving are hard up monies and now to hear that. “I don’t believe it” as Victor Meldrew would say.

    • JT says:

      Swanny

      I was only saying to Annie the other day that the RBL are always sending me begging letters. I remember Bill Griffiths telling us they were bloody useless when he need some help

    • Jack Madron says:

      Seen Jug Ears on the TV news this evening. For someone who was just in charge of a plastic mine sweeper in the Channel, he had more gold braid and medals than Nelson ever had.

  108. JT says:

    My MP Mr Khan is back in. Annie says she will not wear a burkha in Waitrose.

  109. Swanny says:

    All
    It is looking from results of the polls that we could have a hung parliament, big deal. I can’t see how the Country wants this system we have. In the last war we had a coalition government and that seemed to work OK. We should do away with separate parties and try this out, cannot be any worse than politicians acting like a lot of unruly children in the House of Commons.

    I listened to the Prime Minister of New Zealand on the TV and he said their Country has worked very well with this system, why don’t these politicians give this a go?

    • Sloop JB says:

      Swanny

      Seems like your wish about the different parties working together has come true. I’m in favour of that as well, what have we got to lose, after all these years they don’t seem to be able to do the job on their own.

      But you know the old adage, you can please some of the people some of the time but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

      • JT says:

        Sloop, they can’t please me any of the time. But then I’m just an old grump.

        • Sloop JB says:

          JT

          Like you, most of Grated Britain has good cause to be a grump, after all thats gone on over the years, who can blame us? Cut their fingers off to stop them putting them in the till, cut their tongues out to stop them lying, with money involved how do you stop corruption? As to regards to being honest, that went out the window years ago. I’m in agreeance to stopping overseas aid, it never gets to the people who it is supposed to help in many instances. Just ask yourself how many countries would send money over our way.

    • JT says:

      Swanny

      If they worked together like grown ups on a case by case basis it might work. Keep their fingers out of the till and try to stop lying it could work quite well.

      Get rid of House of Lords and replace with an elected chamber. Get rid of the so called Honours system. Stop overseas aid which is generally corrupt.

      Get out of Afghanistan and stop imagining there will ever be an honest democracy there.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JT.
        Agree with what you say except we don’t need a second elected house. Democracy. Over worked word in this country. The nearest we’ve been to democracy was back with Cromwell and then we weren’t fully democratic.

        Do away with Royalty. We don’t need them at all. See the money that could be put to other uses, like NHS, schools etc.

        I agree with Annie. I refuse to wear a burkha anywhere.

  110. Jack Madron says:

    When you’re lame you limp. Cam the Con is limp all over except his chin ’cause he hasn’t got one. Only related to the Queen because he had an ancestor knocked up by a Royal. Out of wedlock.

  111. JT says:

    Tom

    This, “hear hear” stuff are you practicing for when we vote you into Parliament?

    • Tom Howell says:

      JT/Ed
      NO. It is intended to give moral support to our esteemed Ed, who is fighting to maintain the territorial (and reg and NS – joke!) integrityof the site by his staunch defence against moronic interlopers.

      I have no parliamentary ambitions other than to get into the House of Lords and draw my daily allowance and enjoy first class travel wherever I go. I shall endeavour to participate in any parliamentary working party tasked with looking into the welfare of hermit crabs on antipodean beaches, a life long interest of mine.

      • JT says:

        Tom

        Well done. Touched. Just for once we will avoid cross referencing your interest in crabs with the mechanised dandruff we often talk about and unkindly link to Jacks dhobi itch.

        I agree that the “moronic interlopers” i.e the MMG’s must be kept under control.

  112. JT says:

    I would like to remind ourselves and others that when the pollies talk about “austerity measures” we did our austerity bit in the 1940’s and 50’s. Except the rich kids of course who never went short of anything.

  113. NO OFFENCE INTENDED

    But, I will not accept Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Forces Re-United, School Re-Union, etc. friendship appeals from anyone. These social platforms suit many people from all walks of life and I know provide a useful service, but are often abused. As also stated many times, please do not include me in “Group Emails” however well intentioned. I delete ’em on sight, they are often infected with viruses and a popular method of spreading Trojan Horses.

    Frankly, (for me) I feel that we are over supplied with messaging facilities and am quite content to rely on Blogs and emails.

    Thank you for your kind invitations.

  114. Ho Hum, ‘nuther Public Holiday in Queensland and a day at the beach, 27C, warm, mild breezes and lots of bikinis: and Sloop, prawns on the barbie! Two States to be in – Queensland and Pissed!

  115. JT says:

    Ed

    About these Russian brides?

    ED: Just for you JT.


    I am an easy going person with a good character and I have a motto in my life “Try to find positive aspects in every negative situation.” I think it is very important in life! As to my hobbies I like to cook Italian meals, so I am sure you will be licking your fingers after tasting my meals. I like experiments in different fields of my life. I am not afraid of changing the place of my living and am ready for adventures. I like outdoors sports, to spend time on the nature and paintings. I like arts and poetry. I am very communicative, so be sure it will be not boring for you to have a conversation with me. I am a family oriented person with serious intentions. I believe love is something that grows with time if it is cultured with respect, understanding and faithfulness from both parties.

    • Psst.. Wanna hear a Russian joke?

      In biology class, the teacher draws a cucumber on the board: “Children, could someone tell me what this is?” Vovochka raises his hand: “It’s a cock, Maria Ivanovna!” Maria Ivanovna bursts into tears and runs out. In a minute the Principal bursts in: “Alright, what did you do now? It’s something new every day! Yesterday you break a window, and today…,” he looks around, “…and today you draw a cock on the blackboard?”

  116. Sloop JB says:

    Tom

    I stand corrected thank you, I knew I made a mistake as soon as I did it. I was on my way out the door so didn’t put it to rights.

  117. Tom Howell says:

    Sloop JB
    Tut tut!! “to whom” is wot it should be!!
    Have a nice day

    Tom

  118. Sloop JB says:

    ED

    May I ask to who you’re referring to.

    • Editor in Brisbane says:

      Sloop. There is a fraternity in cyberspace named ‘Spammers’. They appear in many guises, some as pseudonyms with blocked email addresses, many as ‘corporate’ identities which purport to offer ‘specials’. None have the guts to use their real monikers. They bombard these sites with crappy multiple URL’s a mile long.

      Collectively, there are over 10,000 legitimate Comments and as many trapped Spam via my firewall.

      At worst I clear out 30 per day which are ALL caught by Akismet (my spammer firewall) – thank heavens – otherwise, you’d all suffer the crap of porno sites, viagra offers by the shitload, and worst of all – fucking Russian mail order brides and/or some idiot female advising that for the princely sum of USD10K, she will release my Grated Britain Tax Refund of about GBP500,000K.

      Frequently some dickhead in Nigeria who has not yet woken up to the fact that prefacing his emails with “Mr” is a dead giveaway, also informs me that riches await me at MicroSoft.

      I just get pissed off occasionally and have (many times) set the dogs on purported “Barristers” in Chancery Lane. At least I get to practice my foul word vocabulary.

      I doubt that Spammers will read the specific message, as they use ‘crawlers’ or ‘spiders’ to glean email and URL addresses from the Internet. One reason to not include any personal details in the body text of any Comment.

      • Sloop JB says:

        ED, Thank you for explaining all that to me, more things to look out for on this magical machine.

        If Australia recognises May Day I would like to wish you and your family best wishes for a happy day. At the same time I would also like to wish all bloggers, where ever you may be, a Happy May Day. Bringing us ever closer to Rally Day at Bodmin.

        ED: Thanks Sloop. Yes, a public holiday long weekend here too. Ho Hum, down to the bloody beach I suppose.

  119. Editor in Brisbane says:

    NOTICE TO THE STUPID FUCKING WANKERS WHO TRY TO BOMBARD THIS SITE WITH SPAM. (Not applicable to Blogger Mates).

    You fuckwits who have fuck all in life to do but attempt to invade the privacy of genuine bloggers with your stupid, stupid, moronic crap, get a fucking life and piss off to Cretin Country where you belong.

    Get a fucking education and grow up, you bunch of swimming pool turds before I hack into you with ultra superior garbage that will bomb your fucking computers back to the fucking Stone Age. You have no hope of penetrating our firewalls, no hope of your infantile crap being read and no fucking chance of this site expressing interest in your verbal diarrhoea. Geddit? FUCK OFF!

  120. Jack Madron says:

    Once we were an Empire. Ruled by an Emperor.
    Then we were a Kingdom. Ruled by a King.
    Now we are a country. Ruled by a C**t.
    After next week?

  121. JT says:

    The debate last night. I thought Brown looked f****d. Looks like Flash Cam is on the winning streak with that maggot Osborn as Chancellor. They can spend the next 5 years doing bugger all and blame it on Brown. Clegg boobed again yesterday saying that people of 16 could be sent to die for their country. He has said it before. Why doesn’t some grown up tell him.

  122. JT says:

    Very good Sloop.

  123. Sloop JB says:

    Hello all,

    Our Prime Minister Gordon Browne
    Went for a walk around town
    He met Gillian Duffy
    Then got quite huffy
    And I think he should lose his crown.

    • Sloop JB says:

      I hope Sue whoever Sue is, is still in a job if not they’ve got rid of the wrong person.

    • Editor in Brisbane says:

      Brown’s gaffes again demonstrate that
      His utterances are meaningless crap.
      Such arrogance from this fool still abound
      Sending Labour well deep underground
      No doubt the Party’s all in a huge flap.

      Gordon ‘Arrogant’ Brown, on the trail,
      For Labour votes, talks to older female.
      When he called her a bigot
      His mouth needing a spigot
      At Westminster he surely will fail.

  124. Jack Madron says:

    Come on Ed. Tell us the truth. You took that photo last summer at Breane. Didn’t you?

    ED: Gotta larf Jack. The tide at Wellington Point here, was as low as the Severn at Brean Down. Unusually so for us with fairly small tidal differences in our Moreton Bay.

  125. Swanny says:

    ED. I watched a TV programme about bull sharks filmed in your part of the world. Amazing how these sharks can adapt to fresh water from salt and how these are rated in OZ the most dangerous of the shark family. And how they prefer human flesh to fish. Amazing filming on one caption how one of these killed a guy on a beach in Queensland.

    ED: Just shows what a load of bull does to the human body. We must all desist.

  126. Editor says:

    Ho Hum, another day at the beach! Anzac Day long weekend. 27C and light SE breezes, clear skies, no rain. Beautiful one day, perfect the next!

  127. JT says:

    Jack

    How do you do that with a volcano ?

  128. JT says:

    Premature eruption. Can it be treated ?

  129. Editor in Brisbane says:

    Is it too early for volcano jokes, or should we let the dust settle first?

    As one volcano said to another “I lava you”.

  130. JT says:

    Heard about this on radio.

    flightradar24

    Fantastic online plane tracking. I spend long time early hours this morning watching planes starting to come in and leave UK airports. Can update ever 10 seconds. Brilliant

  131. Jack Madron says:

    Changing the subject. This volcanic ash may be causing a lot of trouble but got to admit there are some great photos from the eruption. Like the ones that Ed put at the top of this blog.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Back to normal. Has anybody read the books, “Desert Regions.” by Baron Landscape or “Coloured Waters.” by I.P. Green?

      ED: ‘Nuther good ‘un. “The Jungle” by L E Phant. And of course “The Asian Curry Recipe Collection” by Mustapha Krap, or “Iraqi Butcher Jokes” by Haid D’Salaami.

    • Well said Jack. Here’s another Gallery of photos entitled Volcano in Iceland.

      • Sloop JB says:

        ED

        Brilliant photos of the Volcano, but as said, causing loads of problems.

        • Editor in Brisbane says:

          There’s no pleasing the English. Last time they got the Ashes, they were over the moon!

          • Jack Madron says:

            Comment on Facebook a couple of days ago by Swanny’s son Donald, that I thought was very good.

            Iceland. They take our money then use us as an ashtray.

          • Sloop JB says:

            ED

            Believe you me I think the English people would willingly let the Aussies have these Ashes with their blessing.

  132. Sloop JB says:

    Does anyone remember Capt D Fender, or Maj P Quick?

    • Alex Blaine Layder says:

      Yes Sloop.

      Met ’em all last at the Regimental Ball with Lt Hugh Jass, Capt Mike Rotch and RSM Pat McGroin.

  133. JT says:

    Terry

    Did you ever meet Maj C Oldsore RAMC ?

  134. Terry Joll says:

    Yes. That’s the one, we also had Capt Bri Nylon and his girlfriend Polly Ester with us.
    Terry

  135. Terry Joll says:

    I once booked a table at a local pub and when asked for my name. I said Major Saster, she asked if I had a first initial I said yes its D. so booking for Major D Saster. When I arrived for lunch they did not have me booked, they said it was someone messing around and I had a job convincing them that I really was Major D Saster. Had good lunch though.
    Terry

    ED: Was this the lunch with Major E. Vent and his missus Nurse Eileen Dover, when Capt Hugo First and Lt R. Sole declined the invitation?

  136. JT says:

    Terry

    Was Di Saster a Welshman ?

  137. Terry Joll says:

    I have never heard of General Artie Culate. What Unit was he in?

    I think I met a few relations during my time, one in particular was General Disaster and his cousin General Cock-Up. They were not DCLI

    Terry

    • Jack Madron says:

      Terry.
      There was the one who was in charge of the Pioneer Corps. General D Ogsbody.

    • Alex Blaine Layder says:

      Terry.

      He relieved Brig. Hugh G Rection according to records obtained from Pte. Parts in Regtl Wreck Ords at the MoD.

  138. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED.
    My first comment on this new blog. I am glad this has happened as the old one was so big it used to take my PC ages to log on, due to I am my own worst enemy for having so many captions in my jokes and draft columns which are full to brimming.

    As I am always reluctant to delete these, I start by deleting and always end up still with I’ll save this that and the other on the last count 500 plus in jokes and the same in my drafts column, must be my Scots blood to save everything.

    ED: Swanny. Go to – Start, then All Programs, then Accessories, then System Tools, then Disc Clean Up. Your O/S will sort out wasted space that is slowing down your PC.

    PS: PC Tools Registry Mechanic I am uploading a hotlink to PC Tools Registry Mechanic that I have used for several years and costs about AUD$45 annually. It is widely recommended for smartening up your Registry and fires up automatically whenever you boot up your PC. It will re-organise your System registry daily and initially might find many 100’s of problems that are slowing you down.

    I suggest ONLY the Registry Mechanic option – forget the other addons as Windows O/S has an adequate Firewall.

  139. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    You don’t want to know, have a good visit.

  140. JT says:

    Hello Earthlings

    I have just been beamed down from somewhere. Don’t know where
    Don’t know when. Whats the grub like?

    • Jack Madron says:

      Orderly Officer asked, “Who called the cook a ****”?
      A squaddy answered,”Who called the **** a cook”?

  141. Rather than run the risk of ‘Blog Shit’ – pending May 1st (my promised date of a General Banter replacement), I have today launched General ‘Artie’ Culate NHB (No Holds Barred).

Comments are closed.