GENERAL BANTER

Anything goes!

Anything goes!

Artwork Accreditation: Ron Embleton

Ed doing a test run on a little white water!

(Editor, Brisbane 22nd Sept 2009): I open this latest blog page to offer the opportunity for Bloggers to develop with everyday ‘stuff’ of life that has no specific relevance to any other dedicated blog page.

This page has NO limitations (or expectations) as to what, where, when and about whom, the offered Comments are directed at and/or about. Just use this ‘un if you are unsure about the relevance of your particular Comment. I shall appreciate however that a subscriber firstly assesses whether or not the proposed Comment has application elsewhere, if not, then full steam ahead right here.

This fresh page is for Comments of ALL non specific Blog genres. Use it please for hedgehog soup recipes, advice on psoriasis, pimples, spots and aches and pains, dressmaking tips, gardening tips, hairloss advice etc. It is hoped that subscribers will embellish their Comments with .jpeg images (forward to Editor as email attachments), URL links in the space provided in the Comment box. Use it also for funny quips and jokes that DO NOT meet Lewd & Bawdy criteria
Geddit?

Try drafting a CAPITAL LETTERS HEADING for your comment (which I shall then embolden). EXAMPLE (UPPER CASE TYPE – you type this at the top of your comment). EXAMPLE (This is how it will appear, after Ed emboldens)

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2,377 Responses to GENERAL BANTER

  1. Editor in Brisbane says:

    CHECK OUT THE AFGHANISTAN & OTHER BLOG PAGES

    Have you a newsworthy Comment about something of noteworthy interest? Have you browsed the Unbelievable, the Afghanistan Blogs & Old Grumpy’s Blog for updates and caught up with the real stuff that this blog site is all about?

    Have you considered the Civilian Blogs and maybe exchanging some meaningful repartee there? Maybe update some of your marvellous photographs – send me an email attachment or even better -a Picasa Album URL. Have you tried to cut/paste a URL that might be of wider interest to ALL Bloggers? Blog smarter, not harder. Lift your game cheps, stand up and be recognised.

    THE GENERAL ‘ALLDAY’ BANTER BLOG (BS. FN. KRAP) IS NOW CLOSED TO ALL FURTHER COMMENT.

    However, contrary to an earlier decision to not offer a replacement, “General Artie Culate NHB” has been published as a ‘social banter’ exchange platform for nonsense and mirth etc. The editorial controversy that has been aired recently is based on the correct usage of ALL Blog Titles, which guidelines are clearly set out in Old Grumpy. Be advised that any military content in the new Social Banter will be deleted without apology. Horses for Courses!

  2. JT says:

    Talking about AWOL where is Cpl Cornish? Also Billy Boy has gone walkabout. Now Bill what did we decide about the Z list?

  3. Dave H says:

    The drummers didn’t look like this in the DCLI Band.

  4. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Good news. It appears that jpegs are not suitable for your purpose so your efforts in making the traditional type are worthwhile after all.

  5. JT says:

    The drums have spoken. We will hasten there Bwana

  6. Old Grumpy says:

    A WORD FROM OLD GRUMPY!

    Travel if you will to Old Grumpy for a timely bollocking! So far Sylvia and Jack have responded to some pointers that relate to Blog Management and it’s (hopefully) timely for others to pay some attention!

    PS: JT and Sloop have also acknowledged the Sermon on the Mount, with others to follow I hope. Now that I have your attention, the basic strategy is to decide which Blog to subscribe to initially, only Respond to an accurately placed Comment and ‘force’ an offender to mend his ways by telling him so in a short sharp rude reminder, using the ‘thread reply’ option to the offending Comment.

  7. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Jack
    I see in the paper today old blue nose was all smiles, his horse won yesterday and he got £65,000. As said money goes to money, I hope he hasn’t forgotten his Goven Labour roots.

  8. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    Only time I practiced Voodoo was when I had old Albert’s rum concoctions, but I think it gave me big ideas about the results of strong alcohol, but I still had nothing to do with Mock & Co. I left that to the hard up department if you get my pun.

    The effects of Albert’s tonic were brill. I even did a job as I thought was on our beach area and it wasn’t even on WD property.

    • JT says:

      Swanny

      Good old Albert. I am still reminded that we hired him with his horse and cart one evening to collect some nurses from the civvy hospital to bring them to Prospect for a party.

  9. Jack Madron says:

    Sylvia.
    I hope we’re not going to have a Madam Butterfly summer. (One Fine Day). Are you growing the herbs to flavour your hedgehog soup? And do you think those new fangled j pegs will take the place of the old wooden ones?

    • Sylvia says:

      Jack

      I hope we get more than one day of summer, mind you we didn’t get much more in our ‘Barbeque Summer’ last year.

      The herbs will certainly go nice with the hedgehog soup, I’m still a bit concerned about the absence of squirrels down here.

      I can’t be doing with jpegs, I might have to retire from that business and just sell the lucky heather, being as Dean won’t put a headscarf on and tell fortunes. Kids eh!

      I’d forgotten about Zebo, was that what we cleaned the range cooker with. I need to clean my halo with something it’s looking a bit tarnished!

      • JT says:

        Is Zebo black lead wot my granny blackened the range with ?

      • JT says:

        Sylvia

        Further to Jacks question I think that if you have a surplus of the old style pegs you could get Dean to carve little faces on the heads and you could put little dresses on them and little stockings on the legs and either sell them, as Gypsy dolls or use them for curses (stick pins in them ) on the doorsteps if customers are rude.

        Get him out of that back room.

        Seasonal tip for Travellers. Now is the time to prune lavender hedges and borders. (Stock up with your summer lavender sprigs).

  10. JT says:

    Morning Sylvia

    Bit early for planting out ?

    • Sylvia says:

      JT/Sloop

      Yes it is too early to plant in the garden, but I have a propagator, so the seed trays are in there. I don’t actually plant out into the garden, because my son made it low maintenance some years ago. I put as much as I can in big pots, but as I said start them off in seed trays undercover. The herbs are on the window sill in the kitchen because I will use them from there.

      Who’s a clever girl then, (not really). It costs me more in seeds than the veg would cost me in a supermarket, but Oh! the taste is exceptional. And knowing I grew the veg myself gives me a lot of satisfaction. Just going to polish my halo!

  11. Sylvia says:

    Hi gang,

    I hope you are all enjoying the couple of days of sunshine that we’ve had here in Kent. I’m taking the opportunity to plant up my veggie pots and a few herbs so we should get some fantastic tasting meals in the summer. Have a good day all of you.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Hello Sylvia

      JT beat me to it, I was going to say too early for hop picking, nice to hear from you again.

  12. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    I don’t think we’d recognize anything out there now. I was looking at Up Park Camp on Google Earth. Most is still there but the road from town to the Crossroads seem to be dual carriageway with a roundabout between the Jamaica Reg gate and Crossroads. The polo park and range seem to be all built on. Port Royal seems to be three times as big as I remember it. Maybe my memory is not as good as I thought it was. Oh, the buildings that used to be the guardroom, Naafi, cookhouse and S Coy are still there, as is the swimming pool. The two squares. Harolds office and COs office. Surprising what can be picked out on this Google Earth.

  13. Sloop JB says:

    Jack

    Thank you for your condolences, the Overd family are a Cornish family which is why I put it on our blog.

    I think we were a bit brainwashed about different things to keep us in line and not to make waves. I also think the Rasties did practice voodoo, a little to scary for me, Jack. One of my nieces is at this moment on holiday at a complex in Ocho Rios, I told her it’s been built up from when we were there, we wouldn’t recognise would we?

  14. JT says:

    Jack

    Did they Rastas give you something to smoke ?

  15. JT says:

    They say that Swanny practiced Voodoo in the coal store.

  16. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    Sorry to hear about your sad loss. I offer my condolences.

    On thinking more about that bloody mountain, I think it was Long Mountain but could be wrong. We used to do patrols up on it every so often. Covered with thorny scrub so had to keep to the tracks. Yes, the Rastas used to live up there.

    We always had our weapons at the ready. They didn’t know we had no ammo. Another spooky place was the Cockpit Country. Up towards Montego Bay. It was said, they practiced voodoo up in that area. Another myth I suppose to scare us.

  17. Sloop JB says:

    In my local Gazette today I read about the passing of an old mate and family (by marriage) member. Lt Col. Ronald Overd, Mayor of Bodmin & Liskeard. He became a friend when he came to Taunton and joined the senior school I was attending, he became a family member when he married one of my cousins.

    Ron battled with cancer for a while but alas he lost. He joined the army with his twin brother Arnold at fifteen years old. Ron was in the Royal Engineers.

  18. Sylvia says:

    Swanny,

    I hope you are feeling stronger. Nice to hear the Donald is on the mend. Am keeping my fingers crossed for both of you.

  19. JT says:

    Blue Ridge

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      Isn’t a blue ridge something a Lib Dem would get from sitting on the fence ?

  20. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    The mountain that stretched from north to south down the east side of Kingston. Was that called, Long Mountain or Blue Ridge?

    Memory’s getting vague. I do remember the Rastafarians lived up there in shacks.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      I don’t know about Long Mountain or Blue Ridge, I always knew it as Blue Mountains.

      The only time I saw or heard the Rastifarians was up Port Antonio, their drums would be played all night long, and we were warned to be very alert to them.

  21. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    When was there three goals scored in injury time? When United won the final, they won two one.

    See the French Letter showed his true side tonight. Cheating bastard. Reason he’s called French Letter. He’s rubbery and inside is a complete p***k.

  22. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Jack
    All the talk of resting Micky Rooney backfired on old blue nose. Fergie must give up chewing that gum. I watched first half and thought it would be a rout. Bayern must haunt Fergie for the loss they had a few years back Bayern cruising and scored 3 goals in injury time to win Man U the cup. What comes round – goes round, that’s football.

  23. JT says:

    Jack

    Half time 3 – 1 Mickey Rooney got better quickly.
    Fergie in a gum chewing frenzy .

  24. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Ed.
    Had a phone call from Anne Knight this morning she was asking why are the Birthday Blog not on site? I said I would ask you on the blog.

    ED: Thank you Swanny – and Anne. See Old Grumpy’s page for the answer.

  25. Jack Madron says:

    PS.
    I bet they didn’t have fun like that on the Holiday Isle.

    • JT says:

      Jack

      I don’t think “A” Coy were allowed to get their boots wet.

    • Jack Madron says:

      You’re right JT. Can’t get stick orderly or grind peppercorns in wet boots. Might upset the poor diddums. As I’ve said before. The soldiering was done in Belize and Jamaica. This will wake a few up. Chuckle.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Jack

        Are you saying A Coy were only there for the beer? All sounds Rosie to me. Swanny how I love you, how I love you, my dear old Swanny. Not down the coal again.

        • Jack Madron says:

          Down the hole digging coal.
          Digging coal down the hole.
          If it wasn’t for our Bevan boys
          Who are far far away.

          Remember that song ? To the tune, “She Wore A Yellow Ribbon.

  26. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    You mentioned wet feet. Reminds me of the time in Jamaica the MG Pl went on a trek around the Island. Just battle order and personal weapons.

    We set off to the west of Spanish Town and as I’d just been made up to L/Cpl, Lt Rowe gave me a map and said. “When we get to the ford of the river to cross there.” We marched on for some time until Lt Rowe asked where was the ford. I said that we hadn’t got there yet and he said we’d passed it about a quarter mile back.

    Anyhow, we went back and crossed the ford. Some bloody ford. I thought fords on rivers were a few inches deep but no, when we crossed this one, the only things that were not wet were berets and weapons. The bloody water was up to our armpits. It looked like a scene from the Chindits. All these soldiers wading a river with weapons above their heads. Funny looking back on it but not at the time.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      That sounds like the same bit of river we crossed when we were at Moneage. The Officer sent the tallest man across first to make it look shallow, when we short asses went in as you said just berets and rifles stayed dry, slept in damp clothes that night.

      Get well soon Swanny

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        Probably was the same river. Traced it on Google Earth but couldn’t find the name or the ford crossing. The name White River keeps coming to mind but don’t really know if that’s the name of the river.
        Do remember making shelters out of poncho capes and lighting the interiors with fireflies in bottles. We were well trained in the MMGs. Ha ha.

        Cursed like hell at the time but looking back, wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          It was White River, and yes I do remember making shelters out of ponchos. Can’t remember fireflies in bottles tho’, with just poncho capes for cover is why we didn’t undress to go to sleep. I suppose you could say looking back now we can smile about most of it.

        • Dave H says:

          Jack gimme a break. I can’t see you pouncing on bloody fire flies. We had more fun pouncing on the locals, you lot slay me, there was no white river in Jamaica, they were all black.

  27. Jack Madron says:

    Hi all.
    Just been and visited Swanny. He’s getting better but not quite 100% yet. He did ask me if George Osbourn, the Shadow Chancellor had got on the blogs and was jumping the gun with cuts already? Trimmed headings.

  28. JT says:

    Thanks guys. You can call me Dear Leader like the North Korean fruitcake.

    Election pledge. All existing Member of Parliament to be shot by the MMG blog members. These to be replaced by members who were born before 1941 and have served in HM Forces.

    This will be called The National Service Party. Other Polly Parties will be banned.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Dear Leader.
      You have my full backing. Suggest, to save money. Wooden stakes, kindling and a match instead of firing squad of MMGs. .303 ammo used to be sixpence each and at 500 rounds a minute today would be a lot of money. I volunteer to be match striker. Sir.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        If you are going to use wooden stakes then I think we should get Vlad on the job as a consultant. He can be the first Quango.

  29. Dave H says:

    Well, so you lot in the UK are going to the polls. JT for PM. Way to go.

  30. Editor in Brisbane says:

    WELL INTENTIONED CHAIN EMAIL

    Look Cheps. I know that you all get excited over sending ‘groupie’ emails, jokes, banter and bullshit, but please oh please take my email address off your fucking lists. I have more than enough junk to handle and do not want to attract more viruses than usual.

    If by now, you are not content to utilise the URL cut/paste option in the Blog Comment boxes, which is a far safer method to circulate data, and you are pissing your drawers with excitement, then just cut/paste the URL into a direct (not groupie) email to me. At least I will know who the email is from, before I delete most KRAP from my Inbox.

    Someday soon one of you is headed for a major virus breakdown that will affect ALL your Mates.

    Geddit?

    • Dave H says:

      I just delete all the email addresses before I send them on. Not that I send that many.

  31. JT says:

    Dave

    Machine gunners. So what you are saying that if I get rid of the face fuzz as a reward I could join in carrying heavy stuff, digging holes, getting bruises, sweating, freezing, getting muddy and shooting at the sea (hard to hit ?) as in Jacks picture in Jamaica. Sounds very attractive. Sign me up. Thanks

  32. Dave H says:

    Jack he might make a gunner, but only if that face fuzz is gone. We can’t have that. JB would be OK too he likes to fire off at people, I would be the first to go I’m sure. Ha ha

  33. JT says:

    Dave & Jack

    Yes nice bit of kit. Good picture as well

  34. Dave H says:

    Got that right Jack, but where in hell did they get that boody big can from for the cooling water? Now JT don’t you wish you had been an MMG gunner.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Dave.
      He’d have to learn about, ease, pull, strike. Two taps left. Two taps right. Lock. OCMA etc but I think he would be OK as a gunner. Fancy the job JT?

      • JT says:

        Jack

        Nah its all that digging and carrying would put me off. You didn’t mention that.

  35. Jack Madron says:

    Thanks for the photo JT. It’s nice to see a blast deflector in place, also a dial sight. Of course, a rifle bod wouldn’t know what that was. Ha ha. Right Dave?

  36. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    You’re peeing ‘fore your water comes. You’ve got the bin dippers away yet.

  37. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    In answer to Jack, we must have been the best side by far as that bluenosed twat from Goven never said a lot like he normally does. Proves the superior side won as JT said and all yesterday’s papers endorsed, your biggest nightmare will be when you play Man City.

    Apart from all that I am feeling good bit better, and Donald is half way through his rehab at a police rehab unit in Oxfordshire, he sends his best wishes to you all.

  38. JT says:

    Barry Cornish

    How are you ? We haven’t heard owt for some time. Are you keeping in touch with Swanny ?

  39. Editor in Brisbane says:

    Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. “This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr.”

    “This is my second son. He is a martyr also.”

    After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully, “They blow up so fast, don’t they?”

  40. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    I have been feeling real poorly these last few days since attending the funeral at St Ives. I think I cought cold and have had this virus type flu feeling, but I thought I would say a few words after reading all your articles on the blog.

    Only thing that made me feel bit better was my team Chelsea beat Jack’s team Man Utd to go top of the Prem yesterday. I watched the game but I couldn’t get into it like I usually do due to this listless virus feeling. But I know Jack and I will have some banter about it when I see him next.

    • JT says:

      Swanny

      Sorry to hear you are feeling groggy. But your team came up trumps for you. Jack’s team had an injured ankle and didn’t turn up. Waste of diesel for the coach wasn’t it? Fergie was well pissed off I see.

    • Sylvia says:

      Swanny,

      I am really sorry that you’re not feeling 100% and sincerely hope you get stronger soon.

    • Jack Madron says:

      The linesman was very tired. So tired he was unable to lift his flag to signal offside.

  41. Sloop JB says:

    Good God Ed. What kept you?

    • JT says:

      Thanks Ed lovely Easter message.

      ED: You can thank Sloop for that scintillating message JT, although the graphic format was a Googled version. Seems appropriate under the circumstances. (Know what I mean?).

  42. Editor in Brisbane says:

    WHO’S IN CHARGE HERE?

    Alright you bastards! You’ve asked for this! Thanks to Sloop for a timely reminder.

    Gotta Larf!

  43. Geoff says:

    JT, sorry for putting you in the firing line with Ed. I take full blame for egging you on, you have been a great help to me. I can now place Tug Wilson. My ex did not fit in with army life, and I did re-marry.

    Thank you Sloop for your help will follow that up, my apologies to all. Geoff

    • Sylvia says:

      Geoff,

      There is no need to apologise to us, after all we all love our memories of the DCLI albeit Bermuda, Jamaica, Minden, or Bodmin you are among mates here. And I remember Dad talking about Pedlar Palmer; not that I remember what he said. I also knew Johnny Allsop and have chatted to him and his wife at DCLI Rallies. All your memories are also precious to us.

      I have to report that I haven’t seen any squirrels this weekend at the caravan, do you think I made too much squirrel stew last year?

  44. Sloop JB says:

    Dave H

    Dawn was too darned early for me, and my wisdom told me, with the great distance between us it would be a long shot. Go back to your Easter Egg.

  45. Sloop JB says:

    Geoff

    I see you’ve said you can’t place Johnny Alsopp’s face, if it’s any help to you go to Old Mates Picasa Photo Albums (Military), scroll down to Ivor Barratt. Among his photos you’ll see Johnny digging trenches with his platoon. Whilst you’re on that page scroll down to John Billett set two photos, you’ll see him being presented with a shield, also you will see him talking to me at Bodmin on one of our Rally Days. I hope this is of help to you.

  46. JT says:

    Dave

    That moose mating call. Very dangerous this time of year. Hope you have strong underpants if Mr Moose comes to call. Or make sure you have your bike with you.

  47. JT says:

    Geoff

    I have put these comments on this blog because I am not sure you know you how to access the “A” Coy blog.

    I may still get a 252 charge though for being Out of Bounds

  48. Geoff says:

    JT, was that Sjt Tug Wilson or am I thinking of someone else, I am sure I know somone with that name.

    • JT says:

      Geoff

      Yes Tug Wilson was a platoon Sgt he was a Yorkshireman and his picture is on the “A” Coy site. If you stayed in MT then I assume you would have been HQ and not to a rifle platoon.

      I remember your wife very well. She was a forceful lady wasn’t she? Gave me a bollocking for something to do with your pay. Can’t remember what the issue was.

      Maj Williams got very nervous when she was spotted heading towards the Orderly room.

      Did you re marry ?

  49. Geoff says:

    JT yes I remember Joe Erith. I shared the MT office with him. I can remember being promoted, I went to one of the platoons in Bermuda. I can’t remember which one or the platoon Sjt, Sjt Wise? something keeps coming to mind and a cupboard on the wall with cups and medals in it.

  50. JT says:

    Geoff

    Do you remember being made up to Sgt in Bermuda ? and Joe Erith the RASC MT Sgt ?

  51. Geoff says:

    Swanny, John Allsop is a name I remember but cannot picture him, I remember being on the ship going over, I remember having a reprimand for a coffee stain on a locker in the cabin, the chaps being very sea sick, I was lucky I was not. There my memory ends. The next the MT Office in Bermuda.

    I sometimes remember the odd name, after leaving Bermuda things become very vague, I sometimes get flashbacks.

  52. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Geoff
    You would have to have known Pedler, he was our Coy QM C/Sgt when we were in Bermuda. JT and I wrote about him in the old blogs when we first started 3 years ago, A lot didn’t understand him I think because he had odd ways, but I always found him a very good soldier. I believe he boxed on the ship going over, he was an excellent boxer when the boxing took place in the gym on camp and apparently very seldom lost a fight.

    Sgt John Alsop used to tell me stories about him as they like you were old soldiers to us. I know our memories fade a bit when we get older, but I am one of the lucky ones and still have a very good memory.

  53. Geoff says:

    JT. I can’t say that I remember him, I must have had contact with him at some time. I moved around a bit in the Battalion, memory poor though, a lot of bits missing these days, and I can’t blame it on the falling down water.

  54. Dave H says:

    Sloop, bloody lighten up, machine guns at dawn.

    • JT says:

      Dave

      Steady on. Dawn is a bit over the top isn’t it ? Make about 11am after your coffee and bickies

  55. JT says:

    Geoff

    “A” Coy. Do you remember C/Sgt Pedlar Palmer. He is a mystery man. No photos except one at a beach party with Fred Thomas, me, a RE Sgt and the local bookie Stan Harris. Pedlar did not appear in the “A” Coy group photo which is odd. No one remembers much about him so far. HQ platoon guys would be his storemen I assume.

  56. Jack Madron says:

    Well said Geoff. I understand exactly how you feel about joining in. I felt the same for a long time when I started first. Didn’t know anybody except Swanny (who doesn’t know Swanny?) They’re a good bunch on here and I was made completely welcome, spelling mistakes and all. Maybe some will join in the banter one day. I hope they do. Happy blogging all.

  57. Geoff says:

    Hi chaps. I have just finished my daily read, what can one say, you bloody mind readers say it all, have we no privacy at all.

    Joking aside, don’t be too hard on us, some off us get pleasure out of following your banter and bullshit, but find it hard to join in. The memory is not as it was, and should some of us get started on the stupid governments, the bastard muslims etc, we would be wide open for heart attacks.

  58. JT says:

    Ed

    Sylvia wants to know if jpegs are artifacts she can start making for this season and if so will her assistant Dean require any special skills.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      Oh no! not new fangled pegs now we’ve stocked up wiv the old ones gov. Can’t be doing artifacts either, ain’t that wot you dig up?

      • JT says:

        Sylvia

        You are of course right. Artifacts are vegetable, boiled served with Hollandaise sauce or butter. Dug up of course as you correctly surmise.

    • Sloop JB says:

      You say about my sensitivity,

      The 5 boys who lived around here that I knew in the Battalion are indeed in my local cemetery, thats why I got uptight with the comments made earlier in the blog.

      • JT says:

        Sloop

        Relax. I think that was Dave’s special subtle brand of banter honed to perfection and practiced on the local red necks. They don’t like his jokes either and ran him out of town. Thats why he lives out of town in the bush futilely making Moose calls.

        • Dave H says:

          Right on JT. I used the Moose call and you know what? You answered. Bull Moose.

  59. JT says:

    Sloop

    May I also second Ed in heralding your diligence and sensitivity.

  60. JT says:

    Sloop

    Don’t go hanging around cemeteries too much, folks will think you are barmy and fags will follow you around.

  61. Sloop JB says:

    Dave H

    The only one cheap around here is YOU, I don’t know what side of the bed you got out of, or who pulled your chain. Who the fuck do you think you are?

    If you’re going crying to Derek about not answering emails you’re going to the wrong man. Derek and I have written a few emails and I have answered them all.

    As regards to the email you say you sent me I haven’t received it yet, I suggest you sent it to the wrong email address. If you want ex DCLI members to come on the blog I’ll go to the local cemetery and get them.

    ED: 100% accurate Sloop, even the .jpeg attachments to your emails arrive without problems. I for one commend you on your diligence and support and sensitive handling of (some) controversial issues. Gotta Larf!

  62. JT says:

    Dave

    Horses head en route via UPS. Enjoy

  63. Dave H says:

    Right on Derek. Who knows maybe a lot of the Old Soldiers are now the Dearly Departed, thats why we don’t hear anything. I think I mentioned before there is only so much one can talk about in our Army days when just in for N/S as is my case, and my memory isn’t the best like some of you. But hell they could still come on this blog and bullshit like JT. I’m sure we all like to hear his dealings with the MAF when he worked for them here in BC. I’m still keeping a low profile, hey you never know they may find out I know him.

    Anyways I hope Sloop reads what I said to him and takes out that full page ad, but I’m thinking he is too cheap and I mean cheap, as well as cheap, so dig deep in the pockets Sloop and move ass. Had to put this on the blog as he will not answer emails.

    ED: Fuck me Dave, why am I not surprised?

  64. Jack Madron says:

    Ed. Dave.
    There are at least two ex DCLI quite near Swanny and I who have PCs. One has been on the blogs maybe a couple of times and the other none at all to my knowledge. Then there’s the chap who Tom met and Ed emailed.

    Dave, the one you tried to contact. The saying that comes to mind is. You can take a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Still, it’s their loss, not ours.

    • Thanks Jack, I’ve no doubt that Hair Shirt Hutch has achieved his objective in starting a chain reaction, if non other than to define that BumFuck BC Canada, FuckDiddleSpunk Queensland OZ, and Dead&Dejected Cornwall UK, each contains a large element of Old Squaddies whose N/S in the DCLI constituted but 2.5% of their total life wherein no doubt they were bored shitless and saw the entire episode as a glass half empty. Coupled with the fact that computer technology is challenging and probably a pint of Guiness offers a simpler release from 2010 issues.

      We all know of many (I can count at least 8 in Brissol) who are content with an occasional phone call, an annual get together where distance permits, and/or an infrequent card at Christmas. None of us are ‘wrong’ in our views of Blogging, which is but another avenue of regular communication by the enthusiastic few. However, actions speak louder than words of criticism of our ‘collective demise’ and I still maintain that a personal, direct invitation is the best recruitment method. We are all dinosaurs, soon to be overtaken by generations of nerds with handheld devices to misspell the beautiful English Language in text format.

      Beam me up, Scotty!

      Gotta Larf!

    • Dave H says:

      I tried to follow Jack’s comment but it didn’t work for me. Jack, you are talking about Bill Elliott. So how do we know that some of these guys are not just reading and not saying anything, but as you say their loss.

      ED: Bill Elliott did in fact respond on our alternate Blog which in turn received an invite from me to enter these Blog Pages – no result. Same with Mike Cummings.

      We must not lose sight of the fact that there are degrees of bullshit and bullshitters and while we (the core few) are Olympic Gold Medallists in this Event, it can be a bit daunting for a new boy (so to speak) to join the affray. Consider also that only the few are prepared to air their opinions and views of 21st century life in general as opposed to 1DCLI West Indian stuff, which as DH states is somewhat limited once one has exhausted the flashing of Rosie’s tits, several times.

      Clearly “General Banter” wins the Opinion Stakes by a mile, compared to the other more specialised Blogs, so there again we are being told summat.

  65. Dave H says:

    Terry, at least we can but try. Right?

  66. Terry Joll says:

    I class myself as a Recruiter for our OCA Branches but most I speak to are NFI.

    As Captain Jan used to say, “you can’t make a silk purse from a mouse’s ear hole, or you can’t educate pork”.
    Terry

  67. Dave H says:

    I think its about time some new faces were on here, the old ones are getting boring.

    Sloop lives where a lot of the guys were from, that were in my unit. So come on Sloop, get a full page ad in the local newspaper, if you have one, or send out smoke signals. Get the word out some way or other that we have a DCLI Blog and would like them to join us. OK?

    • JT says:

      Thanks Dave

      Always the diplomat.

      • Dave H says:

        JT, I try to be diplomatic with the Hillbillys here in this city, but its a waste of time, they are as thick as 2 planks, so I give up trying.

    • DIMINISHING BLOG SITE INTEREST

      DH, no doubt there are accuracies in your comments, however presented, but behind the scenes many individuals plod away at recruitment to these ‘DCLI Blogs’. Significantly the busiest day on record was September 30th 2009, which month recorded our highest ever ‘visits’ (ie, 9,800). This timing coincided with Sylvia and Margaret getting on board. Since those halcyon days, ‘readership hits’ (ie. views only) has slowed to a mean average of about 100 per day, with about 10 Comments per day actually written. The fact that 2 ladies came on board should tell us something, but maybe one needs to search the encouragement initially, that attracted them. (Answer: RSM photos and personal contact at Bodmin Re-Union Memorial Day in June ’09).

      Terry Joll is our leading unsung hero across the board, so far as DCLI involvement is concerned and a few of us know the effort and extent (and personal cost) to which he involves himself. Swanny, Jack and Sloop too, no doubt, spread the word whenever the opportunity presents. The simple fact is that Blogging – per se – ain’t everyone’s cuppa. Issues such as literacy, expression, content interest, timing, commitments etc. etc. all play an essential part leading to involvement and moreover, continuance.

      I would far prefer that a ‘recruitment’ example be delivered, where for instance a ‘new’ subscriber is invited by personal email or direct contact, among the many surviving members of our old units.

  68. Dave H says:

    Well Ed. Didn’t I tell you so at the time of your put down of her?

  69. Editor in Brisbane says:

    AUSTRALIA: The film.

    Editors retracted Comment from 22nd Feb last.

    I have finally watched this film (on DVD) and must honestly offer my humble apologies to Nicole Kidman for my inappropriate remarks made to Swanny’s comment referred above.

    The film – all 160 mins – held my attention for it’s entire run. The photography, portrayal of the characters by all the cast, and the music is superb. A fine piece of cinema and deserving of far better public attention than it received. I am very pleased to include it in my collection.

    Well done Nicole Kidman.

  70. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Happy Easter to all our blogger friends and especially Derek and Audrey down under. I send jokes etc to all the bloggers and I know Derek you’re not a great one for emails in case of viruses and I don’t want another bollocking.

    ED: Thanks Swanny, greatly appreciated, same back to you and all your Family.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Swanny.
      I would have thought that you were used to them. Bollockings, that is.

  71. Sloop JB says:

    Happy Easter everyone, not too much chocolate.

  72. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Looked at your encampment on Google Earth and Google Maps. The latter has a camera shot of the road and No 6 with red door. Is that near the entrance? Very tidy site. No wrecked cars, scrap metal or old tyres lying about.

    I think the Council should let you guys stay. Its yewman rites innit?

  73. JT says:

    Happy Easter

    Whips and Tops today ?

  74. Geoff Cherry says:

    Happy Easter to One & All

  75. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Where exactly is your encampment ? We can look at it on Google Earth.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT,

      The encampment is at 5 Silver Road, Burnham-on-Crouch, Essex, the field is in a sort of banjo shape and my caravan is in the round bit. I might look myself, I’d forgotten about Google Earth.

      Have a Happy Easter everyone.

  76. JT says:

    Dave

    Re Homing. Do you still chew up the furniture and eat cat poo ?

  77. Dave H says:

    When I found out I was barking up the wrong tree.

  78. JT says:

    Dave

    When did you give that up ?

  79. Dave H says:

    Oh I forgot. I don’t go around humping women’s legs.

  80. Dave H says:

    JT. Do you think you could find a good home for me? I’m house trained by the way.

  81. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Oscar doing very well and much admired. Eyebrows grown a bit so there is some hope for some fur.

    Lane coming for a ‘sleep over’ weekend in a couple of weeks while the Doc and wife go on a break to France.

    Pip re homed in lovely house in Surrey

    Stella due to arrive from Crete end July

    Thanks for asking

  82. Sylvia says:

    JT

    How is Oscar doing, and have you seen Lana lately?

  83. Dave H says:

    A bit of both Jack. A bit of both.

  84. Dave H says:

    JT, it doesn’t take me 40 seconds to get on, well it didn’t, but I don’t get the chance anymore. Maybe you are getting too old.

  85. JT says:

    Takes about 40 seconds to get on

  86. JT says:

    Getting slow now ED

    • Jack Madron says:

      You got jam down in the workings again JT? Mine loads pretty fast. I do hope that you’re talking about your PC and not yourself.

  87. JT says:

    Jack

    If you can only hear typing you could brush up your morse code and then just use one finger.

    Dit Dit Da Da Dit Da

    Bletchley Park might pick you up

  88. Sylvia says:

    Hi gang,

    I’ve had a brilliant weekend everything is set at the caravan site for the summer, pegs made, hedgehog soup made, lavender tied up, but didn’t see the badgers so the burgers aren’t made but hey ho, thats life. Lots of gossiping with people I haven’t seen since October, am surprised you didn’t hear us!

    Sloop I can’t bring tthe caravan down to Somerset it just isn’t road worthy so it stays on the site. Shame you had trouble with Skype. We don’t have any trouble do we Jack?

    • Sloop JB says:

      Welcome back Sylvia,

      Glad your weekend went well and that you’re all set for the new season.

      About the Skype, could it be that Dave is so far away, I think the new fibre optic cables that are being laid might change the problem.

      On our local news today, Somerset have got to provide more camps for gypsies or travellers to be able to come to.

  89. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Those pix were great. The Texan car wash and the parachutist heading for the crocs in particular. I would have thought that the RN would have had more sense than to go shark fishing from a chopper. I bet that wet suit kept the adrenaline in. Ha ha.

  90. Sloop JB says:

    Jack & Dave

    Another name for water diviner is Dowser, and in these parts the actual twig is called a dowser.

  91. Terry Joll says:

    I was at our niece’s wedding yesterday and met the groom’s father who during conversation regarding another guest’s chicken farm, he stated he spent some time helping on a chicken farm in Bermuda.

    This grabbed my attention and discovered that he had been in Bermuda with the DCLI so he will be known to some of you. He is Barry Bennetts and now lives in Truro. I tried to get him interested in joining the OCA but failed. Anybody here remember him?

    Terry

  92. Sloop JB says:

    Hello Dave

    You got through alright but I couldn’t pick you up properly, something I’m not doing right my end I expect, I did what my son showed me but it didn’t work.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JB.
      I’m being nosy. Are you talking about Skype when you couldn’t pick Dave up properly? We had a problem the other week. Could see each other OK but no sound when talking but could hear each other typing. I thought at the time that it was something I was doing wrong. Never will figure out the workings of this voodoo machine.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Good morning Jack,

        We won’t say you’re nosy, we’ll say you’re interested. Yes it was Skype I was referring to, all I got was echoing. Dave was there but I couldn’t get anything to hear him talking distinctly, I had to turn the machine off, apologies to Dave. Yes I saw Dave but I don’t know if he saw me.

        When my son set it up for me he was in one room with his machine and I was in this room with mine, we got some echoing then and now I think of it he closed the door which stopped it. It maybe, that my wife was watching telly in the other room that set it off.

        You think you’ve got things sussed then it goes up the creek
        Have a good day
        JB

        • Dave H says:

          JB, I explained what happened in the email I sent you.

          • Sloop JB says:

            Dave

            You might have sent me an email but I haven’t received it yet, did you get the email I sent you on Skype page.

  93. Dave H says:

    No Jack, its what a water diviner uses.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Hi Dave.
      Withy, another name for willow which is used for crabpots and baskets. Y shaped twig also used, as divining rod as you say. Personally, when I want water, I turn on a tap. (Faucet, as they say over your side of the pond).

  94. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Sylvia
    Hope you take your laptop with you on your caravan holidays, good luck for fine weather, it is awful in Cornwall today, thick fog and drizzle lets hope you miss that sort of weather, and we live in gods country.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Come to sunny Zummerzet the cider county, it’s beautiful and warm yer, we don’t mind a few caravans up yer, bring some lucky heather with ‘ee.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        Isn’t a withy a bendy stick that they make baskets and crabpots out of?

        • Sloop JB says:

          Something like that Jack, forget what I said about sunny Somerset the rain has caught up with us.

  95. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Jack
    We gave you a Scot some years ago Tommy Docherty from Chelsea,what did he do run off with Man Utd trainers wife so there?

    • Jack Madron says:

      I forgot all about the Doc, Swanny. Remind me. What did he do for Chelsea or United?

  96. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    Just had a Jehovah Witness at the door. Didn’t have to say a lot to them as I was wearing an old sweatshirt with a motif of Scotland grand slam winners 1984. Didn’t take a lot of getting rid of them and I was all smiles and forgot to add I had our parrot Kim on my shoulder.

    I think by his looks the bird was going to say f**k off.

  97. Geoff Cherry says:

    Hi Sylvia, for some reason my skin has suddenly turned green. Have a nice time.

  98. Sylvia says:

    Hi gang,

    We are just about to leave for the caravan, I have longed for this moment since last October. By the end of today we will have a clean and level caravan and the awning will be up, if the weather stays nice we may even get the BBQ out. Oh Bliss!

    • JT says:

      Sylvia

      Never mind the BBQ get those pegs finished and the lavender sprigs tied up.

      You should be on the road by Good Friday

  99. Geoff Cherry says:

    Thanks for the wishes, and the order of the day in Bermuda was Rum & Coke, happy days

  100. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    I too am part Scot. My maternal grandfather was born in Scotland. A lot of clever people are, were Scots. Sir Alec Ferguson. Sir Mat Busby. Bill Shankley. Denis Law, to name a few. I could go through the United’s history but that would take too long. Ha ha. Is that why Chelsea and Arsenal are missing out? No Scots.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Perhaps you should order some Scots in for Chelsea and Arsenal then they might get better.

  101. John Tenniswood says:

    Geoff

    Birthday Boy. Many Happy Returns

  102. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Geoff Cherry
    Happy Birthday, have a nice day, not to much of the Scrumpy as it’s gone up in price. Have a drop of rum and remember Bermuda, again have a nice day, from the Swanson Family.

  103. Jack Madron says:

    Saw a Jock on TV this evening with a red handkerchief around his neck, corduroy trousers tied below the knees with binder twine complaining that the 10% rise in cider tax may put him out of business. He was one of the Wurzles. Should have been 20% rise.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack Goodmorning

      I see you made a comment about our Scottish Wurzle. Don’t you know that the fashion today is to have a Scot in your midst. Prime Minister a Scot, Chancellor a Scot and god knows how many other ministers in the English Government are Scots, you have got Swanny.

      I’m not knocking the Scots I think they are great, I even have a Scottish brother in law. But like you I also think how the hell can you have a Scottish Wurzle? Lol.

  104. JT says:

    More on witches

  105. Sloop JB says:

    Ed,

    I have just been watching videos on You Tube of the storm in Perth, one heck of a storm for the people in that area. Didn’t take long for the water to build up in the streets, and the size of the hail stones take some believing.

  106. JT says:

    Billy Boy is back from his FARELF Tour. Did the shorts still fit Bill ?

  107. Jack Madron says:

    Margaret.
    You and John have a wonderful time. We’ll catch you when you get back.

  108. Sloop JB says:

    ED

    I think I’ve done it wrong again dad.

    ED: Sloop, somehow you are loading a Gmail address instead of your target URL (presumably a You Tube clip.) Just clean out (delete) all the data in the “URL Box” in your Blog Comment and start again. Akismet is reading your Post as Spam and knocking it into my ‘Approve/Disapprove’ section.

    • JT says:

      Sloop

      P’raps your stuff should be in the disapproved section.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Ed,

      Thanks once again, I am trying aren’t I, yes very trying, and as JT said put it in the disapproved section and me with it.

  109. JT says:

    Margaret

    Annies twin sister used to live in Boston but now lives in Portland Maine. We have visited New England many times. In fact we were married in Westport Connecticut.

    Thought EXPO Canada was in Montreal.

    Have a lovely trip.

    .

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      My daughter in law is from near Boston. Actually it’s a place called Salem but nobody has ever heard of, witch is understandable.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        Re “Witches” . Are we getting back to stakes again. e.g burning at..

        • Sylvia says:

          JT

          I don’t think burning at the stake will pass the Elf n Safe T rules, and may also not be politically correct. Although I could think of some pollies I’d like to burn at the stake, but then I’d have to change my name and wait till November.

          • JT says:

            Sylvia

            Does you sister have over affectionate cats? Just a routine check for the Witch Finder General. (My part time job in the voluntary sector.)

            Normally when visiting Boston these things are mentioned on the landing card.

            Jack, what about your sister in law? Also does she have any facial warts you might like to tell us about? I’m sure she has nothing to worry about but best to get such things out in the open at this stage don’t you think? This is confidential by the way.

            • Sylvia says:

              JT

              I don’t think Margaret is a cat person, unless she is a closet cat person, if so I hope she doesn’t mention it on the plane just in case.

              Now me, yes I am a cat person and had a black cat for years. Come to think of it there is a funny shaped broomstick in the yard. You did say this is confidential didn’t you?

              I shall be putting my gypsy mantle on soon, the caravan season starts on Saturday. I must teach Dean to make pegs!

            • JT says:

              Sylvia

              Bit late in the season for Dean to start making pegs. What has he been playing at in that back bedroom ? You should be on the road by Easter.

              Mantle hey? Thats a gas. (Got that in before Jack for once)

            • Jack Madron says:

              JT.
              My daughter in law, not sister in law. No, she hasn’t got warts and yes she has two cats and my son and her live in Oxford.

            • JT says:

              Thank you Jack just checking. Just doing my job guv.

  110. Sloop JB says:

    Margaret & John

    Enjoy yourselves, have a safe journey.

  111. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    Don’t know she didn’t say, just for me to hold back my emails for the time being. Thanks for your remarks Sylvia.

    • Margaret Royffe says:

      Sorry, Swanny I should have been more informative. I was just so keen to get all my correspondence done that I was a bit brief. I will remember next time then you won’t get any flack from the other bloggers. XXX

  112. Dave H says:

    She should have come to Canada. Too many Americans in America and most of them are dickheads.

    • JT says:

      Dave

      You are wasted in Dog Patch you really have to get a job in the Diplomatic Service.

    • Margaret Royffe says:

      Dave, I would love to come to Canada. I went there back in 1986 when the Expo Exhibition was in Vancouver. We had a fabulous time especially when we drove from Calgary via Banff to the Jasper National Park on the way we stayed at the Emerald Lake in a log cabin. You never know one of these days we may turn up on your doorstep. (We would let you know first though).

      Take care, Margaret

      • Dave H says:

        Margaret, you are right, take no notice of JT, he’s is losing it I think as there was an Expo in Vancouver in 1986, also in Montreal in 1967 that is the year we came to Canada. I’m sure you had a great trip through the mountains of BC. Have a nice time in the USA , I’m sure you will, it should be nice there this time of year.

  113. JT says:

    Swanny

    What part of USA ?

    • Margaret Royffe says:

      Hi! everyone. John and I are off the the USA tomorrow on a BA flight which we have been assured will be on time. (We have our doubts). We fly into Atlanta, Georgia and drive from there down to O’clockonee Bay on the north Gulf coast just below Tallahasse the capitol of Florida.

      John has two daughters who live out there, one in Boston with her American husband and two sons and the other lives in Charleston, South Carolina with English Dr. husband, son and daughter. We always visit at Easter time and go to the family house. You can google Earth it to see the town, not the house). The yard is on the river and is a mile from the Gulf of Mexico. The family come down and stay with us. When they are not there we play golf with a small group of friends.

      We have a wonderful six weeks break and come back refreshed and ready for the English summer. Oclockonee Bay is fairly remote and we are often the only visitors to the town. We are very lucky to be able to go there. We have some wonderful sunsets in the Bay and I shall be taking my big camera in order to send some pics to Ed. He was not impressed with my previous efforts.

      So there you have the whole story. I shall keep in touch with the website but can only do it once a week from the public Library. We don’t even have TV down there, so we have to talk to one another and play games like we did when we were kids. It is wonderful! That is all for now Love to you All

      Margaret

  114. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Sylvia
    Had a email from Margaret to say she is off to USA for few weeks, hope she has a good time there.

    • Sylvia says:

      Thank you for your good wishes Swanny, I know Margaret will appreciate them.

      JT. She goes to a couple of places, as they have familly out there.

      I’m back being Dean’s labourer, he has finished indoors, now he’s sawing up wood to make a patio and new fencing. I’ll be pleased when he has a job so I can rest.

  115. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia

    What’s this looming, or is it just a fabrication.

  116. Dave H says:

    Right on Sylvia, 3 bags full.

  117. Dave H says:

    Sylvia, I think those guys are trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

    • Sylvia says:

      Mmmm! I see a pattern forming here. I hope the Rev doesn’t get his cables in a twist.

      Just got in from having far too much Italian food and a good night at the theatre, normal life will resume as soon as possible.

  118. JT says:

    Jack

    Feeling a bit woolly today are we ? Have a little nap

  119. Sylvia says:

    Thanks for welcoming me back, I have missed this banter. Jack I was house sitting while my nephew went to New Zealand for 6 weeks, but the signal was not always good enough to use my laptop. What signal?

    I have had to be used to keep up with meeting my mates and the various craft circles I belong to. We have given our knitting circle a new name it’s Stitch and Bitch, very apt don’t you think.

    JB I wouldn’t have run off and left you all, just because I’d stolen the Crown Jewels. I would have bought a better laptop!

    • Jack Madron says:

      Sylvia.
      In your knitting circle, is the plain one called Purl ? And when you bitch, does anyone get the needle? Enough Jack or you’ll be cast off.

  120. Sloop JB says:

    Hello Sylvia

    Welcome back, I thought you’d pinched the crown jewels and done a runner.

  121. JT says:

    Julian and Sandy last episode

    • Sylvia says:

      Hi gang

      The bad penny is back with a decent signal, and what a wonderful time to be reading this blog, I remember Round the Horn, Sunday Lunch was always eaten to the sound of Sidney Rumpo and his ‘I think the answer lies in the soil’ and a guy call Grungefutock. Bliss.

      • Jack Madron says:

        Hello Sylvia.
        Nice to have you back. I hope you’ve got an excuse for being awol. Otherwise you’ll get seven days PC. I was marveling at JB’s memory about Round the Horne, then he let the cat out of the bag.

        I visited Swanny this morning. He was not very happy as his beloved Chelsea could only draw yesterday but my team, Man United won and went top of the league. As SAF would say. “Bloody football”.

  122. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    I wouldn’t have thought of using Google. Everton have Goodison Park.
    Liverpool have Stanley Park. United have JiSung Park.

  123. Jack Madron says:

    Thanks JB.
    Glad that you’ve got a better memory than I have.

  124. Sloop JB says:

    Julian and Sandy were characters on the BBC radio programme Round the Horne in 1965–1968, played respectively by Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Williams

  125. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    Definitely, if stern trawling.

    What was the name of the radio show were they had two funny fellows who used to say, “Hello, I’m Sandy.” Can’t remember the name of the other one.

    Swanny.
    You’re right about who you know, but as Esther Ranson used to say, “That’s Life”.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JB.
      Just remembered. “Hello, I’m Julian”. Still can’t remember the name of the show.
      Was it “Round the Horn” ?

  126. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    We have had a fisherman’s choir singing sea shanties for years from Cadgwith nr the Lizard Point and they sing at most of our festivals etc and are very good, The Fishermans Friend choir had a good break as the series on TV from Port Wenn as the series call it from North Cornwall is in the limelight, As Jack always said of his singing career you have to be dead lucky to break into the big scene and meet the right people,

  127. Rev Maltravers ex RN (Fluffy) says:

    Hi Jack

    I would like to be a fishermans friend please. I had lots of sailor friends when I was in the RN.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Hi Rev.
      Have you tried trawling your local common? I say trawling ’cause that’s bottom fishing.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Jack

        If the Rev ‘trawled’ as you suggested and he found a Fishermans Friend would he be called Sandy?

  128. Terry Joll says:

    I always thought a “Fishermans Friend” was a very strong tasting sweet, good for sucking in cold weather. The sweet not the fishermans friend, before someone gets the wrong idea.
    Terry

  129. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Never did play the guitar that good and you need a good pair of lungs to make the noise that I used to make.

    JB.
    Heard the group of fishermen and others, on TV tonight. Fishermans Friends. Not exactly my type of music but I thought they where very good. I wish them all the best.

  130. JT says:

    Jack

    Why do you need puff to play your guitar ? You sure you are doing it right ? Its been a long time

  131. Sloop JB says:

    Jack

    Take your guitar and get over to Port Isaac, join that singing group and earn yourself a bit of beer money. I’m sure they will fix you up.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JB.
      Wish I could. Haven’t got the puff anymore. I wheeze like a broken hoss. As we say down here.

  132. Dave H says:

    Jack, when are we going to see you in action?

    • Jack Madron says:

      Don’t know Dave. Waiting on daughter to sort something for me. What with three children, husband, two cats, a dog and part time job, she’s a busy girl. Still, it keeps your hearing from being tortured. Ha ha.

  133. Dave H says:

    Have you lot drank any green beer today? We have just been out for supper (tea as you call it), and the green was flowing pretty good. But I don’t drink beer, I’m a good lad.

  134. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    Very good. Long may you grain.

  135. Paddy Fields. says:

    Bejazus. Begora. Tis my day today.
    And the top of the milk to ye all.
    Ya lazy spalpeens.

  136. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re a clock watcher, good job you’ve got time on your hands. My wife says don’t drink so much tea.

  137. JT says:

    Four by the Clock and alls well. God save the Queen

  138. BLOGGERS BIRTHDAYS IN MARCH

    Fingers out! – cheps – Piscean Birthdays ahead shortly. Let’s put the Birthday Blog to good use!

  139. JT says:

    Sloop

    Sad news mate, but we can’t follow this comment by another memory of Rosie getting her tits out for a shilling can we ?

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      I don’t know if Louis ever served in Bermuda, if he did I expect he met her and possibly put his shilling on the bar, lol.

  140. Sloop JB says:

    Morning all

    If anyone served in 9 Squadron Parachute Royal Engineers and came across Louis Gallagher will be sad to learn that Louis died yesterday after having a stroke over the weekend.

  141. JT says:

    Jack

    Rooney is billed as best player in the world at present. Sure is on a roll as they say

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      I might have a invidiously skewed judgement (can’t spell bias) but if anything happens to Rooney, England have no chance. What with Beckham ruled out now, their chances are slim anyhow. Still, with a bit of luck, you never know.

  142. JT says:

    Jack

    Its being so cheerful as keeps yer going.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      I think Jack is a happy, contented chap because he had all those happy games when he was a young lad, no one telling him that he should not play them. Just imagine in the future all these youngsters are going to be as miserable as sin because the games are banned, all they’re encouraged to do is spy on each other and report to whoever. What a lovely world this government has created.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        You’re right about kids and games but I don’t think it’s government fault. Where they’ve gone wrong is not curbing the do gooders and jobsworths. Same old story really. Too many chiefs and not enough indians. Or put another way. Too many trying to be chiefs.

        Since Heath made local councils bigger by amalgamating several, all we’ve got now are a load of office boys who think they’re it. Same with Civil Servants. What a lot of w*****s. I’m not standing up for pollies, I think they all should be tied up in red tape and dumped in the Atlantic.

        Enough griping. Another good win yesterday. That Rooney is some player.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          Yes another win under their belt, that Rooney sure is good at the moment, hope it doesn’t dry up for a while, if ever.

  143. Jack Madron says:

    I feel really old today. My granddaughter is seventeen years old today. Where has the time gone? Seems like only yesterday she was sitting on my lap gurgling and laughing, like in my photo of her and me in my photos. As in the saying. Time and Tide waits for no man. How true.

  144. Jack Madron says:

    I blame all those young hooligans from the 30s and 40s for all this. Roaming around with catapults, penknives, sheathknives and home made bows and arrows. Scrumping apples and knocking doors in the blackout. They should have been stopped. Bloody Hooligans.

    ED: Peashooters and stink bombs. Yeah Yeah!

  145. JT says:

    Jack

    How about Russian Roulette ?

  146. JT says:

    The annual cheese rolling contest in Gloucestershire has been cancelled due to Elf & Safe T concerns. The list now includes
    Conkers
    Marbles
    Egg and Spoon races
    3 legged races etc
    Hop Scotch

    Thankfully we are all in good hands.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Next on the list is. Hooplah. Hopscotch. Blow Football. Snap and Five Stones. Children must not be allowed near dangerous pastimes.

  147. JT says:

    Swanny

    MP ? Make him PM

    • Jack Madron says:

      No JT.
      He’s right about the burkha but he’s one of Cam the con’s lot and they’re worse than the rabble we have now.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        Thats different. String him up with the rest.

      • Dave H says:

        Jack. Well here the Sikhs or that should be sicks, are allowed to wear turbans instead of the traditional head gear of the RCMP, are allowed to carry their little daggers on to planes, don’t have to wear motorcycle helmets. You think it is bad in the UK, its just as bad here.

  148. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    After seeing Derek’s write up about this poor Canadian guy, how is it these bastards seem to pick on disabled or very young or old people?

    Our Country is gone so soft on criminals – it beggars belief. A man died yesterday of being harrassed and barracked for 17 years. Something will have to be done as these thugs are so out of control and the police hands are tied so they just take the piss out of our criminal system and our judges give out such ridiculous sentences the whole thing is a sick joke.

    Also in the papers today an MP has asked for the burkha to be banned. We have heard this so many times the mind boggles, make it a law that they ban the burkha and if they don’t agree be sent back to their country and wear what they like. If in Rome do what the Romans do.

  149. JT says:

    Calm down Doc. Your time will come.

  150. Dr Strangelove says:

    Time to press some red buttons or am I over reacting.

  151. Dave H says:

    “Alternatively a 3 year stint as IED Clearance Personnel in Af-fucking-ghanistan and/or I-bollocks-raq.”

    ED, I like that one can’t you arrange it for them as you are closer?

  152. Dave H says:

    Lets hope they don’t get away with it. I bet if the guy hadn’t been disabled he would have beat their heads in.

  153. Jack Madron says:

    What the hell is wrong with the youth of today? It seems to be everywhere in the world. Maybe they should bring back the birch, stocks and Borstals. Give the little gutless bastards a taste of their own medicine.

    ED: It’ll be interesting to follow through with this Jack, and see how lenient the Sydney Bench reacts. (‘Cos no doubt thats the outcome from the wet pansy Courts). In my opinion there needs to be mandatory sentencing of at least 10 years for these fuckers for ALL unprovoked attacks on innocent people and 20 years for rape and 50 years for deaths arising from cowardly attacks. Alternatively a 3 year stint as IED Clearance Personnel in Af-fucking-ghanistan and/or I-bollocks-raq.

  154. Dave H says:

    Never mind football, I see on the news here, the Aussies are beating up on disabled Canadians.

    • DISABLED CANADIAN TOURIST BASHED IN SYDNEY

      Two teenage thugs have been apprehended to face the courts over a senseless, cowardly attack on a disabled Canadian tourist at a Sydney railway station. Reports thus far indicate the disgust shown by the families of the accused over this attack. Personally, I hope that the magistrates and judges throw the book away and gaol the bastards. Read my comments about youthful thuggery on Old Grumpy.

  155. Jack Madron says:

    Man United 4. AC Milan 0.
    Glory. Glory Man United.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      The best I’ve seen them play for a while, but what a good win.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        You’re up early mate. You haven’t got JTitis, have you? Yes, they played well last night. Just hope they play the rest of the season as good. It’s going to be a close run thing this season.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          No I haven’t got JTitus we’re usually up at that time having breakfast. They either play brilliant or a load of rubbish, as you say I hope they play well enough to clinch the title. I don’t know if it was you mentioned in the blogs about my cousin Don Irish, in our local Gazette today there is a photo of him when he played for Taunton Boys 1947 -48, he played for Taunton Town team later.

  156. Sloop JB says:

    Hello all,

    Just been talking to my brother in law in London, he has had contact, for a while, with a Dickie Bird, just wondered if any of you know him. I think he use to come to Bodmin on open day but I haven’t seen him there lately.

  157. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    The Nobby Clark you are thinking of was Cpl Clark RASC I think. He came out on the Clyde with us, he was big pals with L/Cpl Fred Phillips our first post L/Cpl they both played football for the Garrison, I think he came from Oxford, first class footballer and nice chap.

  158. JT says:

    Dave

    I agree, lets get back to Dog Patch BC News. I see that in the mayoral elections you now have a lady mayoress called She-Who-Squats-A-lot. Now at last multiculturalism has arrived in Canada. Well done. Bet you didn’t vote for her.

    • Dave H says:

      JT. What on earth are you rambling about now. You have lost me on that one, and I think Sylvia has jumped ship to boot.

  159. JT says:

    Ed

    Reggie Mental seems to be used for serious stuff such as deaths funerals and therefore seems inappropriate for other light hearted topics.

    ED: Correct JT and let’s keep it that way please.

  160. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    No Nobby did N/S but did same as me 24-5 years TA after coming home from Bermuda.

    • Dick Barton Special Agent says:

      Swanny

      Reason I asked was surprised that Nobby was in at the end when they Bn came back. Thought he was an Empire Clyder for some reason

  161. Terry Joll says:

    A person awaiting trial can be kept in close arrest if it is found necessary in case he absconds or the witnesses get intimidated. Any time held in custody, ie Close Arrest, should be deducted from any subsequent time to be served in Detention. If given detention he would remain in local custody until such time as the Courts Martial proceedings were ended and the sentence confirmed. Thats the way I interpret it.
    Terry

  162. JT says:

    Swanny

    Was Nobby a regular ?

    • Jack Madron says:

      A regular what? My daughter was a medic attached to LI for 10+ years in the TA. According to Nobby, he taught her everything she knew. According to my daughter, he had nothing to do with her training.

    • Dick Barton Special Agent says:

      Ed

      I guess this thread should have been be another blog but “A” COY is closed isn’t it? Got carried away with this rivetting crime story of yesteryear.

      ED: No Dick No. “A” Coy Blog is open for Comments, but only for those who know their arse from their elbows, which kinda rules out “S” Coy wallahs.

      • Jack Madron says:

        Wrong Ed.

        Everybody from “S” Coy knows that elbows are used for propping up rifles (which we could use) and an arse is used for crapping on rifle coy bods.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          Thats not very nice, I’m an ex Rifle man what have I ever done to you for you to want to crap on me. I thought we Jamaica boys should be there for one another no matter which Coy we were in.

          Is the detective work all over now, I’m glad it wasn’t Jamaica alone that had dark secrets.

          • Jack Madron says:

            JB.
            Sorry mate. Definitely didn’t mean you. I forgot you were not in the officers mess all the time. Don’t remember a Dickie Bird so can’t help there.

            JB. Is there any way I can find out about ex DCLI from Somerset? We had a few in our platoon in Germany and WI. David Johnson, Jesse Aires (not sure of spelling) Joe Baker and a chap called Thompson. Can’t remember his first name. He was L/Cpl when I left. Then there was a Barker from Anti Tanks and Edwards and Pilley, (who you knew) from 3in Mortars, I believe. Just curious about them, thats all.

            • Sloop JB says:

              Jack

              There is a small group around this way some where but I don’t have a clue who it is or where they meet. Mervin Chandler, Toms friend, got a small group but thats in Devon I believe. The only other place is SCLI blogs.

          • Dave H says:

            Jack. I think you just stepped in the poop.

  163. JT says:

    Sorry Dave and Jack we are settling serious “A” Coy gossip.

    • Dave H says:

      I think you have all lost it except for me and Jack, Oh and Sylvia. I think she is still cat sitting. Now lets get back to the important things, like ice fishing and catching polar bears, moose hunting.

      • Jack Madron says:

        Dave.
        Let them have their bit of gossip. After all, nothing much happened on the Holiday Isle except Peppercorn Parades and vying with each other for Stick Orderly. As I’ve said before, the real soldiering was in Belize and Jamaica. This will get them going. I bet. Ha ha.

        ED: Too right Jack, and maybe they’ll get on the “A” Coy Blog to do it!

        • Dave H says:

          Jack. No problem mon, I’m just trying to rattle a few chains. We both know what went on in Bermuda and it wasn’t much that we know. All the action was in Jamaica & B H

  164. Dave H says:

    Good God I’m back in Bemuda, wrong blog again

  165. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    I think Nobby came back 1957

  166. JT says:

    I imagine that Latimer might have been shipped to Bn HQ in Jamaica and Court Martialled there. Who were the witnesses I wonder? Maybe kept in detention pending doing time in Colchester when they returned.

    Don’t know how long he could legally have kept under close arrest before trial. Anyone have ideas.

    Terry? Tom?

  167. JT says:

    Swanny
    Thats another odd thing. If he got caught out in 56 how come he was still under close arrest until 1957 when the Bn came home in a troopship? Seems unlikely. A Senior NCO?

    It would have been such big news in “A” Coy that everyone would have known about it. When did Nobby come back?

  168. JT says:

    Swanny

    What a bloody fool to get to that rank and then f**k up like that. Amazing.

  169. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    According to Nobby he was in the Brig on the ship that returned to UK and faced court martial, don’t know anything further, as you said you would have known something in the Sgts Mess.

  170. JT says:

    Swanny

    Well I guess there must have been a Court Martial then. Was he busted to private I wonder and transferre? He was married as I recall. Can you imagine the uproar?

  171. Jack Madron says:

    Didn’t “A” Coy live on horse meat for a time? I seem to recall something about that, in an earlier blog. Nothing supprises me about “A” Coy. Being cramped up on a desert island for so long, anything to break the monotony I suppose.

    • JT says:

      Jack

      I hope they didn’t eat Alberts horse poor old thing

      • Jack Madron says:

        JT.
        Didn’t some officer have a horse shipped to Bermuda ? The CO didn’t take kindly to it, apparently.

        • JT says:

          Jack

          Yes that must have been the horse they ate. The only horse I remember was Alberts.

  172. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Now this minute had some photos of Ivor Barratt lent to me to down load, will do that and post them when I have finished doing them.

    The incident of what I said to JT might have been in that the chat among the men was as I said about the meals at that time seemed to be less meat etc, but Nobby was here last evening saying that QSM Latimer got done in 1956 being naughty. He said that Latimer got him shifted from his postal room from the back of the guardroom and shifted him to HQ Quarters, he said he needed the room to store stuff.

  173. JT says:

    Swanny

    What do you actually remember about this incident ?

  174. JT says:

    There is a photo labelled “Peppercorn Ceremony1956”. The CQMS is left hand man front rank. Tis a mistry innit?

  175. JT says:

    Derek

    Do you remember this? When did you leave in 55?

    ED: No recollection of this incident whatsoever up to October 31st 1955 and yes there is a later picture taken in 1956 supplied by Keith Mannings and Fraser Pakes at St George, on the old website.

  176. JT says:

    Swanny

    Well you do surprise me. I have no recollection of that incident and you would think it was quite a big event in the Sgts Mess. Even in my love struck state I should have noticed. BUT hold on a minute, are there not pictures of that CQMS on the left of some parades later than 1955?

    I didn’t leave til Nov 55. So were you still there later than that ?

  177. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    What I said happened when I was there apparently. The meat was getting scarce for dinners etc and I think the balloon went up just before I left. But according to what happened the ACC Sgt and our CQMS were in cohoots. I left in June 55 and I think it was about that time. They got done for you know what, it didn’t affect me because very rarely did I eat the dinners unless it was cheese and potato pie. I used to have breakfast and cheese roll in the Naafi in the morning, my main meal for the day, but always had a pasty at CSM Passmore’s house quite regular, bloodly lovely.

  178. JT says:

    A certain RASC Sgt (No names no pack drill) had a history of being involved in some fiddle in BAOR just after the war. Flogging tyres I think. Couldn’t have done his career much harm as was made up to Sgt again. I guess just about everyone in Germany was into black market stuff at that time.

  179. JT says:

    Correction, I see Fraser Pakes mentioned an RASC WO11 nicking petrol from MT section. This was a long time after Geoff Cherry went to BG so he won’t know. Joe Erith was RASC MT Sgt but there was an RASC WO11 called Mr Howard. He was a stores wallah and DCLI would indent from him I think.

    “Time for bed” said Zebedee

    It was someone at the Reunion who mentioned the CQMS of “A” Coy but he would not have normal access to food stores would he ?

    • JT says:

      Correction

      Memory now tells me that WO11 Howard was RAOC and `Not the RASC WO11 referred to by Fraser Pakes.

      Howard was the boss of Sgt Polly Perkins whose wife Swanny told us he lusted after.

  180. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    I reckon that Dave was using the Hoover and forgot to put the bag in.

    • Dave H says:

      Jack, thats a bloody big Hoover, 10 hp.

      • Jack Madron says:

        Hi Dave.
        A hell of a lot easier than a shovel. I bet.

        • Dave H says:

          You bet Jack. Only used it once this year, they were saying on the news, warmest February in a dogs age. I will take that as my heating bill won’t take a hit as a normal year it’s $1000 a year. This year maybe $600.

  181. JT says:

    Dave

    Yep thats a blow job alright. Best you can get in Dog Patch BC?

  182. Jack Madron says:

    What with goings on in the officers mess in Jamaica and dirty deeds afoot in Bermuda. I’m thankful that I was in “S” Coy.

  183. JT says:

    Swanny

    I don’t know about that as I left Nov 55. Only got the rumour on this blog about the CQMS and no attention of the ACC Sgt. I thought the scam concerned G1098 stores such as Compo rations and stuff. Maybe not where did you find out ?

    I think Fraser Pakes mentioned this CQMS on his memoirs. Someone started to tell me the story at the Re-Union but never finished it.

  184. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    Wasn’t the ACC Cook Sgt the fiddler on the roof with CQSM Latimer? Didn’t they get done for you know what just after I left in 1955? Meat shortages or something?

  185. Dave H says:

    This is me and my snowblower, the winter of 2008, not a very good video as it was taken throught the window, Mrs wouldn’t come outside, too cold.

  186. Jack Madron says:

    Terry.
    As you say. This computer is a clever thing and can do lots of things.
    But it can’t milk chocolate.

  187. Terry Joll says:

    This site is great, I made lots of spelling errors and went for a cup of tea and now I see that the spelling is all correct and I did nothing.

    This computer must be good to be able to put things right when I have a cup of tea, it would work wonders once I get on to the hard stuff.

    Terry

  188. Terry Joll says:

    The Pasty.

    In the singular pasty refers to just one but in the plural or more then pasty becomes pasties.

    I do not bother about such things as my diet when confronted by a proper pasty. I am in full command of my diabetes and can alter my Insulin amounts to suit the blood sugar levels, of course I must not be stupid, just careful and keep within certain guide lines.

    I have just discovered that my typing errors are caused by my one finger hitting the keys faster than the computer can print the letters. I do knaw ow to spel cause I went to schol, it is just getting the letters to come up in the correct place.

    Terry

  189. JT says:

    I bet ‘Topper’ Brown the ACC cook Sgt in Bermuda didn’t serve pasties for ” A” Coy very often did he ?

  190. Rev Maltravers ex RN (Fluffy) says:

    Dear Terry

    I am keen on using only one finger in some circumstances. May we correspond privately ?

    People like Dave and Jack are not very sensitive but they were Cpls so what do we expect ?

  191. JT says:

    Terry

    I take it that you are not on lo carbs for your sugar control then. Or is is there a diabetic pastie with no pastry? By the way is it pasty or pastie? I have seen both.

    • Dave H says:

      JT. Don’t you know the difference. A pastie is what the chicks put on their nipples and a pasty is what you eat. Geez, some people.

      • JT says:

        Dave

        Thanks for that. However I think the reference to the bosom decoration would only be understood by folk from the across the pond.

        As you know my employment by the Filipone Family in the Penthouse Club in Vancouver would bring me into contact (visual) with such people. e.g when the working girls had their supper with us at 2am. (Spag Bol every nite)

  192. Arthur Pullthrew ex RAOC says:

    Dear Globs

    Im glad that Terrxz has the porblem with tipin. I have to rely on that mossie bint at the loibry to hepl me and shes nor doin it now since ib atrsk if i couold loook at her legs under the berka.

    she was the one who said i left the computer keys sticky.

  193. Terry Joll says:

    Sorry about my poor spelling but as I only type with one finger I tend to hit two keys at once. No edit button so I cannot correct it but you chaps can no doubt read what I meant to write, if not – tough
    Terry

    • Jack Madron says:

      Terry.
      Don’t mention using one finger or you’ll get a sarky remark from JT.
      Did you notice the look from that copper who was talking to Swanny, when I said I wish I had a sniper rifle ? I wouldn’t have minded if that chap was waving the Union flag but the burk was waving the Butchers Apron.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Terry

      I’m glad you explained yourself, my wife said to me you’d better come and read this letter from Terry, I think he has been on the tangle foot, but I know better.

  194. Terry Joll says:

    The Saint Piran Flag is flying proudly over my household and will do so until 2359 Sunday night, if I remember to take it down at that time.

    After the funeral St Paul yesterday we were standing having a chat about something or other when Jack noticed an Englishman in the distance on a hillside waving the Saint George flag. None of us were pleased about that and Jack said one round from his Vickers would soon stop his waving. The bloody cheek, waving an English flag on a Corninsh day. He would have been lynched if he had appeared close by.

    The refreshments served in the Church Hall were extremely nice, the pasty was delicious, better than that Steak and Ale pie they were on about on TV a few nights ago. If you watched BBC Spotlight News at 1830 hrs last evening you may have noticed the DCLI members on Parade.
    Terry

  195. Terry Joll says:

    Yes, but the pub landlords love it, you can hear the tills ringing all the way down to Lamorna. I agree though, all those Emmitts spoil it every year. That monstrosity of pie looked OK but nothing can come near to beating a good pasty, especially one like mother used to make.

    Those Rugby players following the pie across the field must be English no Janner would do such a thing.

    Terry

    • Jack Madron says:

      Terry.
      I bet most of those rugby players aren’t even British. As for people crowding into Mouzel, as a Mouzel man I’m all for it. What I am against is our customs being highjacked by the bloody Lovies. Like the Feast of St John in Penzance was highjacked by those prats, it’s now Golowen Festival.

      Enough moans for now. Must be cheerful as it’s Saint Pyrans Day soon, who died at the grand old age of 206 of drunkeness. Some Saint.

      ED: What a way to go, Must have been mead, no Guiness in those days.

  196. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    Like all things in our modern world, as we Cornish say a bloody lash up, As Jack said Tom Bawcocks Eve was a lovely day out years ago, with only locals mainly from Mousehole and local fisherme. In the last 20 odd years especially with the now Mousehole Christmas Lights, thousands come from near and far to see these and hundreds come to celebrate Tom Bawcocks in the local pub, Therefore with all these people the few locals that are now left in the village are sick to death at this time of year, as being a quaint little fishing village the ones left are inundated with so many people, it makes their lives a misery, consequently these visiting makes the locals lives a nightmare.

  197. Dave H says:

    Jack, I think that story was taken from the guy who fed the 5,000 with 2 loaves of bread and some kippers.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Dave H

      Which bible did you read, I don’t recall the fish were kipper. I think you’re using poetic license you rascal.

      • Dave H says:

        Shoot, it must be this Canadian Bible JB. And no Jack I’m not a rascal, just a good old boy.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Dave.
      I reckon both stories are legends, but Tom Bawcock is closer to reality. By the way mate. Are you a rascal as JB says?

  198. Jack Madron says:

    I’d better explain about Tom Bawcocks Eve.

    Many years ago the village was starving because of lots of storms, the fishermen couldn’t get to sea. (This was before Social Security.)On the night before Christmas Eve, Tom Bawcock put out to sea and caught seven sorts of fish and saved the village from starvation. It’s only a legend but a lovely story.

    A merrier place you ne’er will see
    Than Mouzel on Tom Bawcocks eve.
    To be there then you couldn’t but wish
    And sup of seven sorts of fish.
    There are more verses to the song.

  199. JT says:

    Fish heads poking out. Yuk. Bit like cows heads poking out of Desperate Dan’s cow pie?

  200. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    I used to go to Mousehole every Tom Bawcocks eve every year and have a bit of Starry Gazzy Pie. Its only Fishermans Pie with the fish heads poking out of the pie. Most of the fishermen of Newlyn and Mousehole met up in the Ship Inn and a local fisherman dressed up as Tom Bawcock and for lots of years Lesley “Nabbo” Nicholls did this. He was in the SCLI as a N/Service soldier for two years. I have only tasted once as said just like fish pie.

  201. Jack Madron says:

    Ed.
    I wouldn’t know. Never tasted any. I like fish but those heads sticking out of the pastry put me off.

  202. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    I believe Michael Foot was born in Plymouth.

  203. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    The first I heard about it was on West Country News tonight. I believe it was steak and stilton pie. Have no fear. It won’t take over from the pasty.

    The only other pie down here is the one from my home village and that’s made from seven sorts of fish. Starry Gazey Pie. But that’s only made the night before Christmas Eve. Tom Bawdcock’s Eve.

    ED: Not very fresh then Jack!

    • Sloop JB says:

      Good afternoon everyone,

      Jack

      I cant see for one moment that the new pie will oust the pasty, I just wondered whether you heard of it.

      We’ve heard of the Starry Gazey Pie, we bought a book for one of our grandsons years ago explaining the origin of it. There was a picture in the book showing the fish heads sticking out the top of the pie, he said it made him feel sick, I must admit it didn’t look very appetising. No doubt the locals enjoy it.

      You’re right about Michael Foot, he was born in Plymouth. Whilst in Jamaica I was led to believe that Sir Hugh Foot, Michael’s brother, was of Cornish roots.

  204. JT says:

    Sloop and Sylvia

    Thanks for changing the subject.

  205. Sloop JB says:

    Jack

    On our local news there was a report about a steak pie being made down in Penzance, I wondered if you know about it or even if you’ve tried it, I’m wondering if it’s a threat to the Cornish pasty.

    I also see that Michael Foot has died, brother of Sir Hugh Foot, I understood they were a Cornish family, so another sad loss to your County.

    • Sylvia says:

      Sloop

      A steak pie to outdo the Cornish Pasty, I don’t think so, what about you Jack what do you think?

      Sloop wash your mouth out, thats blasphemous.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Sylvia

        I didn’t mean to offend anyone, just inquiring about the pie. What shall I wash my mouth out with Rum and Coke, Red Stripe, or just good old Naafi tea. lol xx

  206. JT says:

    Jack

    Its all to do with WEALTH and privilege mate. It is and has always been about rich and poor. The pollies strings are pulled by the rich boys behind the scenes.

    Notice how they keep banging on about benefits. They always did. Blame the poor, cut benefits “let em starve”. It wasn’t always the case with Labour. Just after the war bringing in Social Security,the NHS and Education bills. But gradually the Unions and the labour politicians became corrupt (Animal Farm ?)

    The Tories always were really the party of the rich but also appealed to the “lower middle classes” who thought it made them respectable. The Lib Dems are a bunch of over educated nobodies who talk PC garbage most of the time

  207. Jack Madron says:

    Would a worldwide ban on politics and religions make any difference?Politicians and religious leaders throughout the world, all have one word in common – Power. Like the show on the telly a few years ago. Citizen Smith. I’m for “Power to the People”.

  208. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    As Jack says better the devil you know? What amazes me is Cameron and that slimy Osborne are both millionaires and both went to Eton but neither had good results in education while there, and as they are very rich what do they meddle in politics for? As Jack said the wicked witch of the west – she was the worst of all.

    As with this futile war in Afghanistan, my late father served in WW1 and always said if politicians had to go, there would be no more wars.

  209. JT says:

    Blimey that was quick Jack. Fluffy is obviously still watching.

  210. Rev Maltravers ex RN says:

    Hi Jack

    More about your working vicars please. Can we meet to discuss?

  211. JT says:

    Jack

    Thought you would never ask. Get into training.

  212. JT says:

    Bring back Ghengis and stack up some skulls in Westminster.

    • Jack Madron says:

      I wonder if Ghengis needs a helping hand? I still know how to work a Vickers.

  213. JT says:

    Terry

    Jack is sitting on the fence as you have noticed.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      Lib I am not.

      Terry.
      Can’t say what I think. Don’t want to end up like Watt Tyler.

  214. Terry Joll says:

    So you are still undecided then Jack.

    Terry

  215. Jack Madron says:

    Hi JB.
    Fertface is Cam the Con. From where I was raised, a fert is a small aperture that spurts crap. Very apt I think.

    As for the rest of them, I agree with you on all points but as we have to put up with the likes of them, I go with the saying. Better the devil you know.

    Also, I shall never forget the Wicked Witch of the West. Vile bitch.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Your description of ‘Fert face’ could describe all of them, they are all full of ‘verbal you know what’. They never give a straight answer to any question asked, and there’s more spin with this lot than there is in JTs whip and top.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        I know what you mean about verbals. I can’t spell that Welch word either. Dia watsit.

        Don’t get JT going on that whip thing again.

  216. Sloop JB says:

    Jack,
    Question

    My wife would like to know, who is Fertface and why so called? As regards to who to vote in, just which one do you really trust? Personally I don’t trust any one of them. I wouldn’t trust them as far as I could throw them. The robbing, cheating, lying, two faced, double dyed in the wool crooks, every last one of them. I think you know now just how I feel.

  217. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    You’re a braver man than I am Gungadin. I never watch Fertface if I can help it. If he comes on telly spouting, like during the news, I’m faster than Jesse James, with the mute button on the remote.

  218. JT says:

    Swanny and all

    Force yourselves to watch Prime Ministers Question time when Cameron is ranting at Brown. Look at the face of that little worm Osborne while Cameron is shouting. Watch the smirk, watch his lips moving. Listen to the Tory rabble howl and jeer.

  219. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    As Jack said my team has a JT, Chelsea pay him £160 thousand pounds a week and after all the sex scandals with his ex mates girlfriend, he has given Jack’s team the Premier League Title on a plate.

    He has had the England captaincy taken from him for as always been said for a bit of furry pie, at least he will go down in history as Napoleon and Anthony of Cleopatra fame and women pull all the strings.

  220. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Jack
    Just what we were talking about on our favourite topic Tories. How can a working man vote for them? In the paper the unpaid £127 million Lord Ashcroft has not paid in taxes. Hague got him a peerage in return that he was to pay taxes in the UK, what an expensive joke on us. As we have said you and I – a leopard never changes it’s spots -same old Tories spouting what they are going to do for the workers and us pensioners. Lets hope the man in the street and see them for what they are. I know the Labour party have a few cretins but they are outnumbered by as you call Fart Face and his gang, as said same old Tories.

  221. Dave H says:

    Sorry Jack, but Ice Hockey is far better to watch than soccer, (football as you call it) but you have to know the rules of the game or you won’t know what’s going on.

    But there again I never was much of a football fan, I mean who would watch Hartlepool anyways. Ha ha

  222. Jack Madron says:

    Didn’t see the game itself Dave. Just got the result when I switched channels to see the BBC news. Did watch Man United win the cup though.

  223. Dave H says:

    Did you watch the game Jack? it was a nail biter, both teams were good. Either could have won but I think Canada had the better players. The womens team also got Gold.

  224. Jack Madron says:

    Dave.
    See your ice hockey team got the gold then. Good on them.

  225. JT says:

    Jack

    Sorry it is Swanny’s team with the JT

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      We don’t have anybody in United squad with two first names and no surname. Thank goodness.

  226. JT says:

    Jack

    I see you have a JT on your team.

  227. JT says:

    Jack

    True no lap. That’s why I need the lessons to stop the gals sliding down and falling on the floor. It could lead to a nasty Elf & Safe T event.

  228. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Like me, you’ve got no lap. Too much overhang. One down. Two to go. Glory, Glory Man United.

  229. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Just ignore them. I am not after your money. Send Dean out to the chippy. However if you get change you could donate to my lap dancing lessons.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      As I’m still house-sitting in Rochester, Dean and the chippy won’t get a look in. But I’ll willingly donate to your lap dancing lessons, on the proviso that I can watch!

  230. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    I met Ivor Barrett’s widow last night at my daughter in laws birthday party at the Buff Club in PZ. She is now friendly with a friend of mine going out together. While in conversation with her I asked if she had any photos of Ivor’s time time in the West Indies and she said she had quite a few and will drop them in to me sometime and I will download them for the DCLI site and you would put them on it.

  231. Sloop JB says:

    Jack

    Would we have to toss money in and make a wish?

    • Sylvia says:

      Sloop

      I must have made a wish. I won a tenner on the lottery. First time I’ve won for about 18 months!

    • Jack Madron says:

      JB.
      JT will probably try that. You mentioned money, he was pay Sgt you remember.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Jack

        Yes I do remember he was pay master, I think he got to like the feel of money, hope he won’t be sending a begging letter to Sylvia now she has had that big win.

  232. JT says:

    Thanks guys. It all seems a bit inconvenient somehow. I guess you West Country country folk are used to this sort of thing.

  233. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    You could fix a stopcock or go into the garden, lay on your back and pose as a fountain.

  234. JT says:

    Jack

    OK done that. Do I take it off during the day ?

  235. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Go to B&Q and get a length of hosepipe. Tape it on and you won’t need to get out of bed so often. Or bin the alarm clock.

  236. JT says:

    It is nearly 0700 hrs. Yew lot wants to get out of your pits in the morning and get on parade.

  237. Dave H says:

    JT. Get with it man, you’ve been in the Smoke too long.

    “That medicine man on the reservation is a waste of time and money with his jumping up and down waving a skunk tail and singing out of tune.”

    That’s a bloody Rain Dance. Brain cells getting a bit thin are they?

  238. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Is that medicine man now called Shah and living down your way ?

  239. JT says:

    Dave, Guess we do get a bit diverted.

    Soon be time for the annual squaw hunt won’t it? Make sure you have your scalp stapled down this year and see the MO for proper antibiotics.

    That medicine man on the reservation is a waste of time and money with his jumping up and down waving a skunk tail and singing out of tune.

  240. Dave H says:

    I think I’m on the wrong blog again, what with Nimrods and Sea Kings, Seahawks, sounds like WW11 is about to start.

  241. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Tom
    There is still a squadron of Sea Kings Based at Culdrose for A/S work. If you see them they have a big bubble type A/S detector on the bottom of the aircraft and they fly regularly over Mounts Bay right out to the the big ships track in the channel.

    I had a close friend who worked in A/S warfare unit based in the Fal. river. It was a top secret site a few years ago, I expect your son would know about this place.

  242. Tom Howell says:

    JT
    The RN used Sea King helicopters for A/S work, usually carrier- based. I think only the RAF used fixed wing for that sort of work.
    Tom

  243. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    Shackletons were based at RAF St Mawgan for maritime work, there till late 70s. I worked at RNAS Culdrose in the late 50s, 60s before it was as today a helicopter base – the biggest in Europe.

    The Nimrods flew out of St Mawgan for years. When I worked at Culdrose on contract work our main job was painting lines of white and yellow etc to the size of aircraft carriers for landing operations and take off etc, this was before it became a helicopter base. The only helicopter on the base then was a Dragonfly which was outside the Control Tower for SAR duties, at that time they flew the new Sea Vixons and Venoms.

    As I have said before I think, my son-in-law is still based there, he is a CPO in charge now of admin on SAR. He has done 33 years in the Fleet Air Arm and served in the Falklands War as SAR on Royal Fleet Auxillary ship and had some very harrowing times in the war, very rarely talks about it.

    Outside of the main gate at Culdrose there is Seahawk aircraft which was one of the earlier fixed wing aircraft at the base. When I was there working we painted at Preddanick a few miles from Culdrose near the Lizard which was a Bomber Command Airport in the WW2.The base is where we painted the first huge circles for the training of helicopter pilots to train landing practice etc for the then new Whirlwind helicopters in the Fleet Air Arm.

  244. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    Have you been on night shift again.

  245. JT says:

    For some reason I got thinking about Magic Roundabout. Strange innit ?

  246. JT says:

    Time for bed said Zebedee

  247. JT says:

    Tom

    I worked that out later thanks. Very interesting. What kind of aircraft was used then in anti sub warfare. Was it Nimrod? I remember a Shackleton visiting Bermuda in 1955 and the Sgts in the crew and ground crew stayed with us in the mess. I think they were RAF Coastal Command if it still existed.

  248. Tom Howell says:

    JT
    FAA stands for Fleet Air Arm. After graduating from Dartmouth my son specialised as an Observer in anti-submarine warfare, serving in the 1st Gulf War, Bosnia, Kosovo etc. He was serving as an instructor at Culdrose when he was made redundant. Six months later, when they realised they had a shortfall, they asked him to come back but he declined as he already had a new much better remunerated career.
    Tom

  249. Jack Madron says:

    An Independent is somebody who hides their true identity and follows the Tory whip.

  250. Gordie says:

    HP: WESTMINSTER

    Hello you DCLI Cheps! Gordie here to let you know that I’ve been reading your blogs and know what its like these days in GB. Not too bloody easy here in the House either, I can tell you. Think you’d better vote Independent next Election. No bloody chance of me getting a mention, that’s for sure! I’ve lost the plot and none of my Fenian Mates have the answers either.

    PS: Thought you’d like Gerald Scarfe’s opinion of me too!

    PPS: In the interests of honesty (!), my name is linked to Wikipedia, just to show what a chameleon I am.

  251. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Probably the best bet is to vote for an Independent (preferably not a nutter) or UKIP or BNP. They won’t get power but useful to take support from the big 3 and feel bad about it later.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      Does that mean I should vote for the Raving Loony party? My brain will hurt by the time we have an election.

  252. JT says:

    Sloop

    Not long ago I used to bang on about corrupt countries. Arabs etc etc. This last year or so has been a sad surprise to me at the scale of corruption in our country and the exposed greed and wealth by the bankers for example.

    The rich continue to dominate and the poor are as they always were. Exploited and blamed.

    I often go on about the meeja but at least they have exposed the rot. I remember the uproar about that architect Paulson so many years ago. His case seems like petty crime nowadays.

  253. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    Do you still have the shilling or has Gordon Brown confiscated it? He would peel a fart for a penny, as my old Mum would say. How more corrupt can this lot get?

  254. JT says:

    Sylvia

    If you ask Jack he will say it means shoot Big Willie, Ginger Knob and the rest of ’em. Personally I would leave the Queen and the Juke in place. She did give me a shilling once.

  255. JT says:

    Sylvia

    OK Gotcha

  256. JT says:

    I’ve had a rant on Bloody Unbelievable. Get your BD and webbing out of mothballs

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I totally agree with you, my concern is that the only voice we have is voting, but who do we vote for, the MPs are mostly wa*nkers and bullsh**ters.

      My other concern is for Will, why does everyone fire at him?

  257. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Now rang Dave Besley, I hadn’t heard from him for some time so we had nice bit of natter. He has just had a dose of flu but is keeping well, he asked to be remembered to all his old mates at home and abroad. I keep him up to date with emails etc that I send via his son-in-law, and said to him to get his family to go on to our blogs etc. When he visits to see our blogs etc so he can recall some faces he knows from way back to our past days which I said would interest him!

  258. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Tom
    You mentioned on Regimental blog that your family has booked a holiday in Breage in July. Breage is a lovely village with good pub, church etc, and is just a few miles from the bigger towns, ie Porthleven, Helston, Falmouth, Penzance. Only drawback is the traffic is always very busy at that time of year, but weather permitting they will have a enjoyable holiday and the locals are very friendly.

    • Tom Howell says:

      Swanny
      Thank you for your interest. We know the area quite well as my youngest son served at RNAS Culdrose for a number of years before retiring from the FAA.

      We are going as a family party in order to attend the graduation of a grand-daughter from University of Exeter where she studied law. The Faculty of Law is based in Falmouth which is where she has been living for the last 3 years.

      Tom

  259. Sloop JB says:

    I would like to thank everyone for your kind thoughts and words and for not taking the pee too much. Have a good day everyone.

  260. JT says:

    Well I think we can bring this sensitive and heart warming topic to a close before Fluffy gets in on the act. “The Moving Finger having Wrote etc etc”

  261. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    We were wrong about Swanny and mobile dandruff. We said he could get white spirit easily. It wasn’t white spirit. It was TURPS.

  262. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    When he did the finger movement I went into orbit – Oooch! – and to cap it all I had an embolism heart attack on the day I was going home. This was after the TURPS op for prostate. Nothing ever goes smooth for me when I have had ops and had to stay in hospital for extra 4 days. That was in 2002.

  263. Dave H says:

    Well I don’t care what you think. I think she is great, so there, stick that in yer pipe or whatever.

  264. JT says:

    Swanny

    You seem very nostalgic about this Paki finger merchant. Did you smile like Sloop and did he give you a sweety afterwards ?

  265. JT says:

    Sloop

    Who is this May you want to roll on ?

  266. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    Good news indeed. Keep that silly smile going as long as you can.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Thanks Jack, reminded me of when we went for medical to join forces, only difference was they didn’t touch then, they stood back and looked.

  267. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    The finger treatment. When I was going through all the problems that Sloop has been going through, my surgeon at the time was a Pakistani, brilliant guy. He was a huge man and when he was giving me the finger treatment at one stage, my comment to him was “no chance of me ever being queer”.

  268. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    Yes I did get the finger, a lady doctor did the deed and yes, I still have a silly smile on my face, lol, roll on May.

  269. JT says:

    Sloop

    Great news. Did you get the finger ?

  270. Sloop JB says:

    Good morning all,

    Just to let you all know, my visit to the hospital yesterday went well. I have nothing to worry about at the moment, but I have to go back in three months time for a further check to make sure everything is still okay.

    Have a good day everyone.

    ED: Good News Sloop, you can untie the knot now!

    • Sloop JB says:

      Hello ED

      Not enough to tie a knot.

    • Margaret Royffe says:

      Great News! Sloop. I am so pleased for you. XX

    • Sylvia says:

      Sloop

      I’m over the moon for you, can I un-cross everything now, people are beginning to talk!

      • Sloop JB says:

        Sylvia,

        You’re a sweetheart, yes you can uncross everything again for the moment, I’m going to ask you to do the same again come May. I hope having everything crossed all that time hasn’t left any creases. What if people talk do we really care? Take care xx

  271. JT says:

    Turns out that the “Anti Bullying Charity” is a scam after all. Endorsed on Camerons web site. Well Well. Look at the big wig “Patrons” jumping ship

    • JT says:

      Evidently Mrs Pratt has a past record of claiming against her own employers. So she gets this cunning plan. She sets up an agency then refers alleged victims to a company owned by a Mr Pratt who then charges them a fee to “investigate”.

  272. JT says:

    These pollies are pathetic and seize every opportunity to divert attention away from their own hopelessness and dishonesty. This bullying nonsense for example. Cameron and Clegg jump on the band wagon demanding an enquiry (Oh no not another enquiry pleeese).

    ‘Course it is just a coincidence that the Local Conservative HQ is next door but one to the Anti Bullying Charity who have blown the whistle.

  273. Dave H says:

    She also made a movie called The Others, if you haven’t seen it, rent the video, it’s got quite an ending.

  274. Sloop JB says:

    Swanny,

    We have a DVD of that film, we think it is brilliant, as JT said camera work excellent, a film with something for everyone.

  275. JT says:

    Swanny

    I saw that movie some time ago and thought the camera work was superb.

    During WW11 the Americans sent huge forces to OZ. Marines, Army, Navy and Airforce. Gen McArthur went there as C in C after the Philippines fell. There was of course imminent danger of the Japs invading Australia, island hopping via New Guinea etc as you saw in the film.

  276. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Watched the film Australia on Sky last night was very impressed with it, Nicole Kidman was brilliant in it. I was also impressed by the ending as they showed the Japanese on the invasion of Darwin and the Northern Territories. When we were in Perth in mid 1990s I didn’t know till then that the USA had such close relationship to that part of OZ and after seeing that film last night it came to me more than ever.

    ED: Swanny, I guess that I should be polite and respond to your addressed Comment, and I do appreciate your reference. Unfortunately, I am one of many who think that Kidman is a flake and unworthy of the acting praise heaped upon her. Jackman on the other hand gets tremendous press.

    The movie portrayed Australia in all its cinematic splendour – no argument – (from the clips that I’ve viewed) – but only grossed AUD$50M from a production budget of US$130M. I think that foreign revenue added another US$162M. The movie was cranked out to be Baz Luhrmann’s all-time epic, but attracted a great deal of local criticism. Horses for Courses I guess – you get what you pay for. Personally I couldn’t be bothered when there are so many great British and Foreign movies on the screen and many without the hype of the so-called ‘great actress stars’. Ho Hum for me – 2.5 points outa 10.

    But then I’m a cynic, take Avatar f’rinstance, a load of digital crap to sell popcorn in my view – the current version of Donald Fucken Duck – and it’s broken ALL box office records. Give me opera and the ballet any time.

  277. Dave H says:

    So you think women aren’t smart, here is one for Sylvia.

    A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday evening, it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers.

    The woman says, ‘So, you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.’

    Flattered, the man replies, ‘Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you’re still at fault, women shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

    The woman continues, ‘And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.’

    She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man. The man asks, ‘Aren’t you having any?’

    The woman replies, ‘No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.’

    • Sylvia says:

      Now I understand. Thats why women have all that wire and men have a nothing box. Still I would like a nothing box as well sometimes.

  278. Sloop JB says:

    Beer Mates

    A Mexican, an Arab and a Brit are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In Mexico, our glasses are so cheap we don’t need to drink with the same one twice.’

    The Arab, obviously impressed by this, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, ‘In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don’t need to drink with the same one twice either.’

    The Brit, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, he says, ‘In Britain we have so many immigrants that we don’t have to drink with the same one twice.’

    God Bless Great Britain

  279. Sloop JB says:

    A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a shopping mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, ‘What is this father?’ The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ‘son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.’

    While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room, he walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

    Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, ‘Go get your mother.’

  280. JT says:

    Cabins ? Basins ? Bloody luxury

    I thought the troop decks were laid out like the old slave ships. One foot of space per person with a gully down the centre for sewage. Thats why I never went down there.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      We had a cabin slept three. Of course, we were MMGs not with the peasants. I do remember plenty of room in the Dining Rooms and eat all we wanted.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      I can’t remember what deck I was on or which deck the peasants were on, all I know is I’m glad there was a poop deck, us sick chaps made good use of it.

  281. JT says:

    Yep Mr Creosote should provide some happy memories of that rough crossing.

    Luckily I did not suffer ‘Le Mal’ but remember that fewer and fewer folk each day turned up for meals in the 2nd Class Dining room (boast). Don’t know how the peasants got on down on the troop decks.

    ED: “E” Deck cabin floors and basins awash with vomit.

  282. Jack Madron says:

    I knew a skipper of a fishing boat who was sick everytime he left the harbour and he was fishing all his working life. So much for Mal de Mer. I suffered just as much as anybody.

    ED: The Meaning of Life! The Autumn Years

  283. Dave H says:

    Ooops. I think I’m on the wrong blog, now I feel sick.

  284. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    I remember the day we left Liverpool wind blowing a hoolie and sleeting and hailing and that was just the start. I believe we were to get to Bermuda in six days but as we all know it took 12. I remember in A Coy cabins and area many of our men were so ill it was unbelievable, I remember Cpl Alan Mitchell a giant of a man and County rugby player nearly dead from sea sickness and in an awful state as well as many others who were severely affected by sea sickness. I was not at all effected as I was brought up in the fishing environment and went to sea at an early age with my father. Lucky me, what an experience for all on board, and I vividly remember the music as we left port on that memorable day.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Swanny

      My first four days on board was hell, I thought I was going to die, I don’t wish seasickness on anyone.

  285. Terry Joll says:

    Sylvia.
    When you went to Minden you would have travelled by train and ferry. Your real journey would have been from the Transit Unit, I believe Goodge Street Station was still used in those days but as a Battalion was moving as a large unit you would most probably gone straight to Harwich by train, then on to one of three military troopships, either; The Vienna, The Wansbeck or the Empire Parkstone.

    This trip was an overnight trip and arrived at Hook of Holland very early morning, you would then have been herded onto the train to take you through Holland and in to Germany, breakfast and lunch was served in the dining cars on the train, The service was first class, you would have eventually arived at Minden Station which was a mile from the barracks. and so another chapter in your life would begin.

    Terry

    • Sylvia says:

      Terry

      Thank you so much, it is nice to have the gaps in my memory filled in. I suppose I would have been 2 or 3 at the time, strange that I remember bits about the flat in Falmouth and not the journey to Minden. Maybe as we travelled over night I would have been sleeping. I do remember the journey home, as one of my sisters spent some of the time on the train standing on her head in the corner of the seat!

  286. JT says:

    Thanks Jack

    Remember the band playing this as we cast off ?

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      A good old Maori song. Can’t remember the band playing as the weather was that bad, I was down below in the cabin.

      JB.
      The train stopped at the border to change locos. The Dutch were electric but the Germans were steam.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        They also played Auld Lang Syne.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Jack

        You are probably right about the change of locos but I know for sure the border guards came through the train asking us if we had coffee in our posession, they were carrying guns which really sticks in my mind.

  287. Jack Madron says:

    To all Empire Clyders. Happy Anniversary for the 19th Feb. Such a long time ago but seems like yesterday.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Happy anniversary indeed, and it certainly is a long time ago, lots of water gone under the bridge since then as they say.

      JT

      Your memory is a lot better than mine as far as the piece of music being played, I think I was in awe of what was going on that I was oblivious to it.

    • Sylvia says:

      Hi gang

      Most of us were on the Empire Clyde all those years ago, how many of us knew each other as well as we do now. I remember the excitement of the occasion, it was the first time I’d been on a big ship. I can’t remember the journey to Minden but I’m thinking we would have gone on a ferry and then a train.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Good morning Sylvia,

        How fortunate we are to be still here and tell the tale, and to be able to contact each other as we do.

        You are right about the trip to Minden, quite a trip in itself really, we were stopped at the border to see if we were smuggling coffee, what a hoot.

  288. JT says:

    Sloop

    I know what you mean mate. Here is a song to cheer you up

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT. Thank you for that WEE song, but I’m not sure whether you put it on for yourself and asked me to listen to it with you, never the less it was very thoughtful of you. God Bless.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        Pity it wasn’t “Cool Water”. For all trick cyclists among us. Quite often first thing in the morning when I’m tending to my ablutions, I get a song or piece of music in my head. A mixture of music, eg. yesterday it was the bugle, Jankers call. This morning it was a C &W song. Any ideas? The Boss thinks I’m losing it and I reckon she’s right.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          I think at our age we have to be prepared for just anything. The thought attached to the Jankers call was it ‘Keep on Running’. As regards to the C&W, Was it Slim Whitmans ‘Love song of the ‘Waterfall’

          My boss thinks I’ve lost it ALL the time, I sometimes think she’s right.

          • Jack Madron says:

            JB.
            That would have been a good one. The song was Buck Owens singing “My Heart Skips a Beat”. I suppose it would skip a beat if I was running for the jankers call.

            • Sloop JB says:

              Jack

              Guess who’s heart skipped a beat after picking the mail up off the mat this morning, I have to report to the medical officer on Monday, bottoms on Parade.

              Did you hear about the two homos who slept back to back. They put the wind up each other.

  289. JT says:

    Jack

    Are you taking the piss again?

  290. Jack Madron says:

    Swanny.
    Be careful what you say on this blog, mate. You’ll get some smart arse saying you’re always full of p–s. You know what ex squaddies are like.

    I’ve put a piece on Reggie Mental.

  291. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    SloopJB
    If you have any signs of peeing trouble prostrate, get it seen to, you never think its going to happen to you.

    In 1998 I was as usual at open day in Bodmin enjoying more than a few beers and mingling as I always do YAP YAP to all and sundry, after a couple of hours of non stop drinking I found I couldn’t pass water, try, try again, no go. I went and said to Maj. Peter Michell I am in agony and can’t pee. Lo and behold they had to stop the coach in Bodmin and go to Bodmin Hospital and get out Kernow Doc who inserted a catheter to release my problem, I had never had pain like it.

    Next day went to my own doctor, he diagnosed my prostrate problems and I had a bag on for nearly six months and then had the SURPS operation to rectify the problem, what a relief. So if anybody has these problems, get it seen to before you get prostate cancer which my father died of.

    PS: The day at Bodmin the coach party was not amused having to wait an hour on the coach for me, I was ribbed for months afterwards because of this.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Swanny

      Good morning, thank you for showing interest in my latest test, as I said I am going to hospital for further examination. I know what you mean about not being able to pee, a bricklayer friend of mine had the exact problem you had, his lower body bloated because he couldn’t pee and he passed out. He woke up in Musgrove Park Hospital, they put him right after doing the necessary treatment.

    • Dave H says:

      Swanny, quite a story. My Dad had the same problem in the 1950s, he ended up with that bag for 5 years. He died of a kidney infection after 5 years, so yes guys don’t wait if you have problems.

  292. Dave H says:

    Bite Me Rev

  293. Rev B Maltravers ex RN says:

    Well dear boys (particularly Jack) as you see I do keep watch.

    Now I must say that I disapprove of this stuffing odd things up bums. It gives us old Queens a bad name. I remember a Gunners Mate in Gib who was always doing this with bananas etc. Very messy. The only foreign objects most of the matelots used in that manner were Wog fancy boys they met ashore. The old Royal Navy saying “Rum Bum and Gramophone records” continues to amuse me.

    Well delighted that you are all with us. Still hoping that Dave will invite me to Canada. He seems a real sweety. Looking forward to summer when I go to Newquay to watch the surfer boys.

  294. NEWS ITEM FOR FLUFFY

    The bared bum Bishop near Ballarat!

    But wait Fluffy! There’s more. In Sheffield of all places.

  295. Dave H says:

    Jack, you know why he is good on old radio tunes? Thats because he is old.

  296. Jack Madron says:

    Was it Ted Ray or Charlie Chester who said. Hi! Gang. JT will tell us. He’s pretty good on old radio shows. But I’m saying. Hi! Gang. Thanks for everything.

    R Hood. J James. Daltons. Eat your heart out.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Was it Ralph Reader that said Hi Gang, he used to do the Boy Scout show didn’t he? I’m not 100% sure

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        I just remembered. I think it was the Bebee Daniels, Ben Lion Show. JT will put us right.

        Dave. JT is not as old as me but compared with two or three others on these blogs, I’m just a youngster. No names. No pack drill.

  297. Dave H says:

    Sloop you sucker upper, you old dog. As for your prostate prob if there is one, I can only tell you what my doc told me. OK wait for it, he said at your age some other thing will kill you first. Oh I said thanks for the warning. At our age they just watch and wait, what ever that means.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Dave H

      I can do a bit of sucking up with the best of them.

      Thanks for your input about my visit to my Dr, as you say at our age anything is possible but I’m going to think positive.

  298. Sylvia says:

    On reading the above remarks I would like to say I am very proud to be a member of this gang. Yes! we pull each others legs, Yes! we take the pee. And Yes! we care very much for each other.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Sylvia

      I’m glad you’re one of the gang, I can picture you on one of the Naafi wagons that use to come around giving out cups of tea and buns to us poor little sods miles from home. Cpls and Sjts yelling at us, you could have been my sweetheart anytime.

  299. JT says:

    Good luck Sloop.

    I get “Top end of Normal” on this blood test whatever that means.

    Jack
    I recently doubled up on Lisinopril to get my early morning blood pressure down to 120s over 70s

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT


      I don’t know what top end of normal is either but according to my Dr they like to see the reading at four or less, so I would guess that you’re around there somewhere. At the moment my reading is seven, hence the test, but the time to panic is when the count reads ten. Thanks for your good wishes. Keep well.

  300. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    Got my fingers crossed for you. Good luck mate.

    Sylvia.
    No marathon for me. Never did like running.

    Gotta larf. Ordered a British Forces Germany medal. Arrived with name spelt wrong. Emailed them and they said they would replace it. It arrived about two hours ago. Guess what. Yep. Name spelt wrong again.

  301. Jack Madron says:

    Morning all.
    Just been to see the vampire for blood check and bp check. New pills must be working OK as my bp is 139/77. Nurse was delighted but not as much as I was. According to the boss, who worked in a Dr’s surgery for years, I’ve the bp of a young man. Maybe I won’t need those anti aging pills after all JB.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Good morning to you, I’m pleased about your check up results. I’m afraid my blood test revealed something that’s unnerved me a bit. I’ve had to go back to my doctor for a further test, it’s to do with my prostate, she is arranging for me to go to Musgrove Park to let them take a sample, I’m hoping it’ll come okay, fingers crossed.

      • Margaret Royffe says:

        Thinking positive thoughts for you Sloop. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you too. XXX

        • Sloop JB says:

          Margaret

          Thank you for your kind thoughts, just like Sylvia you’re a lovely lady too. This is the first time in my life that I’ve been phased by anything, it’s the uncertainty thing but as you say keep thinking positive. Take care you and John xxx.

    • Sylvia says:

      Jack

      I am really pleased about your bp, let’s hope that’s an end to your feet and legs hurting. You’ll be running the marathon then!

      Sloop

      I will certainly keep my fingers crossed for you, and I will cross everything else I can find. I’m sorry this has made you and Peggy worry, we all know how you feel and you have my warmest wishes for a good result.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Sylvia

        Thank you for your kind response, you are indeed a lovely lady. I would like to be in your company when you cross everything, the mind boggles, but you would be still beautiful. We’re not worrying yet, we will wait for the outcome of the the next test first with bated breath.

        I’m glad your dining room is finished at last but it seems you’re going to have to find somewhere to stay whilst the stair case and landing is under way. What a good son Dean is offering to take it on. Take care.

    • Margaret Royffe says:

      Jack
      What great news keep up the good work. XXX

  302. Sylvia says:

    Hi gang

    I hope you all had a good weekend, mind you I sometimes don’t know it’s the weekend, all the days run into each other when you’re home all day!

    My dining room looks very professional and I’m over the moon with it. I’m really glad I’m in Rochester and not at home, Dean has decided to do the stairs and landing. I don’t think I could live with all that mess.

  303. Dave H says:

    Shook me up there JB. I thought you said too old, I looked again, too cold. Geez, don’t do that to me.

  304. Dave H says:

    Sloop. Methinks you are a dirty old man, ha. No flowers or things in this house, people have forgotten what it is all about. Now its just card makers, candy makers and flower growers that are out to fill their pockets. So there.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Hello Dave

      It’s all in the mind these days, it was a long time ago I was asked the question. Like most other things it it done just for money. Any way I guess it’s too cold where you are to get get any ideas like that.

      ED: DH, just for you on Old Toons.

  305. Sloop JB says:

    Good morning lads and lassies. I would like to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day. Are your homes awash with bunches of dark red roses on this Day of Love.

    Don’t tell me you’ve gone past it cause I won’t believe you. Someone asked me once ‘when do people stop making love?’ My answer to him was, you’ll have to ask someone older than me. Have a good day everyone, lol.

  306. Sylvia says:

    Hi gang,

    I’m going home for a few hours today, the dining room is finished, and I want to see it. Fingers crossed that I like it, it took me ages to choose the wallpaper.

    Jack, I really enjoyed our chat last night, too bad Dave couldn’t make it, we’ll get there sooner or later.

  307. Dave H says:

    Sorry I couldn’t make it Jack. I came on early to tell you I had to be some other place, tried call you to let you know, will meet up when I get things sorted here.

  308. Jack Madron says:

    Dave.
    Just had a chat with Sylvia on Skype. Hope to catch you when you get things sorted.

  309. JT says:

    Margaret

    Egypt in the early fifties was the last place anyone would like to visit. Thousands of squaddies were based there. I was posted to Tel el Kebir in 1954 and sent on embarkation leave. This was changed by telegram and posting changed to Bermuda. I think Joe Knight served in MELF.

  310. JT says:

    Ed

    Don’t think the date of birth on the blog is a problem.

    ED: Thanks JT. Seems as if most are unconcerned, so we’ll leave things be. The option by each individual anyway is to modify the published information as preferred.

  311. Dave H says:

    ED. I’m with JB. I got nowt either.

  312. Sloop JB says:

    ED

    I don’t mind at all, got nothing to pinch anyway.

  313. Jack Madron says:

    Whips and leather. Sounds like the House of Commons to me.

    Ed.
    I’m not to worried about my date of birth being shown but I’ll go along with whatever you and the others want.

  314. Dave H says:

    OK JT, would I do that? Now if whips and leather were involved, that would be a different story.

  315. JT says:

    Dave

    No smartass remarks about bondage if you don’t mind.

  316. JT says:

    Thanks Sylvia

    Given up on Annie. She ain’t talking and beginning to look annoyed. Better cut the ropes and run I think.

  317. JT says:

    Hi Jack

    But dates of birth are accessible from so many sources and are sort of public knowledge. There is factor such as mothers maiden name, etc. I wonder if the bank screwed up.

    • Editor says:

      DATES OF BIRTH SHOWN

      If anyone has an issue with privacy revelations, then just advise and I will remove the day and year part of the Birthday and simply leave the month. You can then if you wish issue a general ‘Happy Birfday’ to the recipient. Let me know. The reality is that breaches of personal details for identity fraud are obtainable from many more likely sources, for instance, where a credit card is used, general mail etc. Equally so are personally named email addresses used in transferring crappy chain letters – all with good intent no doubt.

      How many of you destroy receipts, envelopes, letter headings by shredding? Even a renewal date, with the name and type of card can provide sufficient information for interception at your house mail box. When a card is used at a restaurant, hotel etc. you are vulnerable, whether you like it or not the integrity of the merchant is the issue.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I have been giving this fraud a lot of thought, and come to your conclusion that the bank screwed up. When I registered I was asked several security questions such as, my first car, my mothers maiden name, what colour was my first car, what pet do I have, what was the pets name etc. The bank are supposed to ask two of these questions, a person can’t guess right twice. I shred anything with my name and address on it, yes even envelopes, then I burn the shredding. Still my card details were used in Cyprus. It’s got to be the banks.

      Have you taken Annie off the rack yet, she won’t fit in the door if you stretch her to 7 ft.

  318. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Our dates of birth are on one of the blogs. I wonder if that could help a fraudster?

  319. Jt says:

    Sylvia

    It was the bank that alerted me. A transfer of £300 had been made. When followed that day by 2 more requests for transfers the bank phoned me and stopped them. They have refunded the £300.

  320. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    I buy stuff online but never use my debit card, as my daughter said if you use ie Barclaycard you are covered by the cards insurance. I had a problem like yours a few months ago using my debit card, she used to work for an Irish Bank and was a big help to me and since I have not used that card, and like you when I had that problem I alerted my bank right away.

    • JT says:

      All

      Thing is my Debit Card was not involved. The fraud was someone arranging a transfer by telephone. I didn’t know you could do that on this account. Apparently they knew and used personal details such as date of birth and other security questions to do this. The bank have the conversations on tape so there is more to find out. They or police might not bother unless I press them which I will.

      I changed my debit card just in case. I am insured against fraud of any kind.

      Don’t have Credit Cards, jacked them in a long time ago.

  321. JT says:

    Dave

    No I don’t do internet banking but do transactions like buying stuff online using my debit card. The bank say they have no indication that the culprits know my debit card details. I have changed the card nevertheless.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      My son Steven had the same problem a few years ago, he bought stuff on line like you. He’s been very careful since.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I had a person in Cyprus use my details, lucky the bank was on the ball, they phoned me about half an hour after the transaction. I also changed my card, but what can be done to stop it, I don’t think the banks know.

  322. Dave H says:

    JT, do you do banking over the internet?

  323. JT says:

    I suppose they must know where the money was sent but they won’t tell me “Its the Data Protection Act” innit.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      The banks are just as big a rogues as the ones fiddling you account. You should report it to the police, else nothing is done by the banks. They just put bank charges up to cover the losses.

  324. Jt says:

    And me Swanny, Bah.
    The bank phoned. Someone tried to get 3 amounts from my account by telephone yesterday. They got £300 then the bank rumbled them. Now refunded but it makes you think doesn’t it? Whoever it was they knew my bank details, date of birth etc plus details of my direct debits.

    I’ve got the wife on the rack but she hasn’t talked yet.

  325. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ALL
    I am having one of my Victor Meldrew days today.

  326. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    Now listening to our local Cornwall Radio at lunch time local debate programme with questions from the public on the topic on MPs getting a medal for visiting troops in Afghanistan and shaking hands.

    Most people ringing in to the programme are disgusted at this idea. As an ex reserve soldier of over 24 years like thousands of others, apart from later years the government with the RBL have brought in the N/Service medal for all that did their N/Service, Regular TA soldiers had to serve 12 years before getting their TA Efficiency Medal and also TAVR Medal.

    Officers were awarded the Territorial Decoration Medal for dedicated service to the Crown, giving the medal to MPs is a mockery to all our brave troops serving in wars all over the world since WW2 and all the N/Servicemen and Women that served and were killed in action, who was the one that these MPs should get this so called medal?

    • Sloop JB says:

      Swanny

      If the MPs didn’t send the boys there in the first place they wouldn’t have to visit them. These MPs live on a different planet.

  327. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    I saw that bus driver lark. What it is coming to in England that this can happen, say if one of our own had done it he would be sacked. The more you see of these muslims doing what they like what future laws can we bring in to solve this problem? The laws of our Country is all on the side of the criminals. Just look now the House of Lords are exempt now for not paying their expenses what hope is there if we didn’t pay our Council Tax we would end up in court. A law for them and one for us, again what hope for us that keep the law and pay taxes etc.

  328. JT says:

    Great Stuff ED

    True story this week

    Muslim bus driver gets out of bus leaving engine running (a criminal offense) kneels down on the sidewalk and prays. Its culture innit ?

    Talking about culture, perhaps we have to come to terms with the fact that Chinese eat dogs. Its culture innit? But here is the question why to they have to kill them by skinning them alive? See the difference ?

    • Dave H says:

      JT, almost the same situation here, but he wasn’t a Mossie. This driver stopped at a coffee shop, left the bus running with the door open, went in had a pee, picked up his coffee and donut. It’s against law to leave the bus, but hell he had to pee eh?

  329. TAKE 10 FOR A BLOODY GOOD LAUGH!

    Click the title link. Example below.

    Australian Police Test

    An Australian man is seeking to join the Police force. The Sergeant doing the interview says: “Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted.” Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says:

    “Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit. ”

    “Why the rabbit?”

    “Great attitude,” says the Sergeant. “When can you start?”

  330. Sylvia says:

    Sorry guys, I meant to say I was going awol for a few days, it just went out of my mind. I am house sitting for my nephew while he and his partner are in New Zealand for 6 weeks (lucky b*ggers). I had to find my way round the shops, and also how to lock the house up, how the TV works etc etc. It is nice to be in house that isn’t being decorated, although it is my fault it isn’t finished. I haven’t made up my mind about the wall paper yet. Catch you all soon.

  331. Geoff Cherry says:

    Comment transferred to the Afghanistan Blog.

  332. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Comment transferred to the Afghanistan Blog.

  333. Jack Madron says:

    Margaret.
    I’ve been looking out for the spring since last autumn. Roll on the warm weather.

  334. Sloop JB says:

    Margaret

    Welcome back, I’m sure the break did you both good. Did they offer you any camels for John lol.

    Looks like you’re going to have some cold weather now you’re back, keep those winter woollies handy.

    • Margaret Royffe says:

      Thanks Sloop. We saw some camels and their drivers inviting us for a ride but we didn’t fancy hanging on for dear life and lurching around. We just enjoyed watching everyone else doing it and hearing their comments about it afterwards.

  335. Margaret Royffe says:

    Sylvia may be awol but I have just got back from a break in Egypt enjoying the sun and getting away from all this awful weather and I don’t think you are a ‘bunch of old crocks’. I am on a few pills each day, following treatment for breast cancer in 2007.

    Like JT says thank goodness we are not in the USA. The medical insurance there is a major portion of expenditure each month, but you do get excellent service and facilities and no waiting lists for treatment. John and I spend two six week breaks there each year and have needed treatment a couple of times, using our travel insurance of course and have been seen straight away and treated really well.

    But, on the other hand there are those who can’t afford the insurance cost and have to go without treatment or have to diagnose themselves and buy treatments over the counter in the drug stores. This issue has been addressed by the President’s new bill I but still don’t quite know how this will take effect. We are so lucky that we have the NHS with all it’s faults. I just wish they could beat the bugs that accompany some treatments.

    Swanny:
    Just a note to you to send best wishes to Don for a speedy recovery following his recent operation. So glad to hear he is back at home with Debbie looking after him.

    Right Now You Lot!
    It is time to change the subject and look out for the Spring- though I am sorry to see that there is a cold spell on the way – again. Keep your chins up and look forward to warmer times.

  336. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    You’re right about the US. We would have been gone long ago if we were there. I only take three tablets a day. Doxazosin, morning and afternoon and Enalapril in the morning. Thank god for Nye Bevan and god help us if Cam the Con gets in.

  337. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Do you think we are a bunch of old crocks ?

    • Dave H says:

      JT, Sylvia is AWOL. I think she is down at the local doing a show. Don’t get the end of the stick now, she is just singing.

  338. JT says:

    Jack

    Me too. 8 pills every morning plus 2 insulin injections daily Must cost a fortune. All of em have multi possible side effects. Still if we lived in the States we couldn’t afford ’em.

  339. Jack Madron says:

    Was on Lisinopril for some time but it gave me leg and foot trouble. On Enalapril now and legs and feet seem to be getting better. So many pills, If I jumped up and down, I’d rattle.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      Do you think between us, with all the pills inside us if we all got together on the parade ground we would make a good band, music wise that is. With all those pills rattling around, couldn’t march that fast these days.

  340. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    To us there is no other way that this could have happened, but he is home now so lets hope all his ailments and war wounds clear up OK; and he was in a brand new hospital.

    He phoned again today and is feeling a lot better, these things happen. I was very lucky as you know only problem I had was when I came home from hospital, thats life.

  341. JT says:

    Dave

    Doubled up Lisinopril to 20mg twice a day to get blood pressure down and it works, now below 120 / 70 (this to help kidneys)

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      I’m only on 10mg a day with other stuff as well.

    • Dave H says:

      Good for you JT, I am on Norvasc 10 mg, always below 120 so doc is happy with that. On the other hand my wife has low b/ps in the 90 s sometimes, has to watch she doesn’t kiss the pavement.

  342. JT says:

    Swanny

    Sorry been away 2 days. Whats this about Dons’ infections? Were these hospital caused?

  343. Sloop JB says:

    1981 & 2005 –

    Two Interesting Years

    Interesting Year 1981
    1. Prince Charles got married
    2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
    3. Australia lost the Ashes.

    4. The Pope died

    Interesting Year 2005
    1. Prince Charles got married
    2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
    3. Australia lost the Ashes.

    4. The Pope died

    Lesson to be learned:
    The next time Prince Charles gets married,
    someone warn the Pope.

  344. Sloop JB says:

    MORNING SEX

    She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, ‘You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!’

    My eyes lit up and I thought, ‘I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!’ Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all right there on the kitchen table.

    Afterwards she said, ‘Thanks,’ and returned to the stove. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, ‘What was that all about?’

    She explained, ‘The egg timer’s broken’.

  345. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ALL
    Thanks for all your good wishes on Donald’s behalf. Phoned him last night and he is feeling better already being at home with Debbie looking after him. He said the nurse came and dressed his blisters etc and made him really comfortable and got him a soft rubber ring to sit on etc and he and Debbie had gone for a short walk around their house.

    Again thanks for all your kind thoughts, our motto ONE AND ALL.

  346. Dave H says:

    Thanks Ed, I just checked it out. Poor guy is in a right mess, I don’t think I will be getting that operation, it was bad enough when I broke my leg, being diabetic it took months to heal.

  347. Dave H says:

    Swanny, press my refresh button please. Who is Donald?

    ED: DH, go to Swanny’s Civilian Page

  348. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Ed,
    Donald came home from hospital yesterday after a week of hell, he has been in agonies of pain in the days past and had to be given extra pain injections for nearly the whole week last. He has also been badly infected with blister type lesions on his backside which covers the whole area. Not only has he had problems walking with a walking aid with the extra pains from this infection in that area, as well as a large blister on his foot caused by his foot rubbing the bottom of the bed while on the ward. He is in quite a state, the nurse is coming now he is home daily to attend to the dressings etc.

    One consolation he will be in good hands with his wife Debbie looking after him with the best of care and good home made food as she is an excellent cook so lets hope now all goes well for the future.

    ED: We appreciate the update Swanny and send Donald our best wishes for an early recovery. As you say, he’s better off at home, away from any more infection. Hope that he can try a Guiness real soon.

    • Sylvia says:

      Swanny

      I am sorry to hear that Donald is so ill, I’m sure he will be well on the way to recovery with his wife looking after him, please give him my best regards. I wish him a speedy recovery.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Swanny

      Peggy and myself would like to wish Don a speedy recovery. No operation is a pleasant thing as we all know, we do feel for him so would you pass on all our best to him. Take care

  349. Sloop JB says:

    Hello Jack

    I passed that part of the test OK, have to wait to see the result of the blood sample, picked up my tablets so I’m alright for another two months.

    • Sylvia says:

      Sloop

      I will keep my fingers crossed that your blood test is OK. Just keep taking the pills. Don’t know if I want those new pills so I can live till 100 though. As Jack said I can’t speak Arabic, and I’m too old to learn new things.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Hello Sylvia

        Thanks for keeping you fingers crossed for me, I expect everything will be fine if not they’ll sort out another tablet for me. I don’t know about speaking Arabic, if I reach 100 I expect I’ll be speaking gibberish, come to think of it I do that now at times. Have you finished decorating that room yet and got it back all shipshape?

        • Sylvia says:

          Sloop

          I think we all speak gibberish on occasions, I don’t think it’s an age thing. The room is just waiting for me to choose the wallpaper, all the nasties are either sorted or covered up. It’s been a slow process because we have been doing jobs we have never done before. Looking back it has been quite funny although not so funny at the time. Thanks for your interest.

  350. Sloop JB says:

    Hello Chaps and Girls

    Went for my two monthly check up this morning, gave blood sample, had blood pressure taken, thank god for NHS. I see in the paper today they’ve got a tablet now to keep us alive until we’re 100. If I have to live that long I hope things improve lol.

  351. Jack Madron says:

    Dave.
    Just on Sky Sports News. 150 lorries being used to bring in snow for the Winter Olympics in Vancouver.

    • Dave H says:

      I saw that on our news too Jack and they were saying the truck drivers get $90 / hr, I think I should go get a job. Anyways they can have some from here, there is a bit left.

  352. JT says:

    Ed

    Gottit. You Tube music on Old Toons.

    Page now 12 seconds to load.

    ED: Thanks JT. Better for all as now we can view all subscriptions in the one place instead of endless scrolling.

  353. JT says:

    Testa di cavallo Horse Head ?

    Testa di cavalli Horses Head ?

  354. JT says:

    Thanks Dave

  355. JT says:

    Testa di cavalli per Dave

  356. JT says:

    Dave

    Happy days with the Family (bit scary sometimes)

  357. Dave H says:

    Here is one for JT. Take care of your doggie.

  358. Dave H says:

    I was just wondering if any of you lot will be watching any of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. thats if its shown on TV over there.

    • JT says:

      Dave

      Hope not. If it thaws coz of global warming I think Whistler is where the my ex employers the Filipone Family used to bury people for a laugh. Micky Filipone would have called it winter sports. Happy days as Jack and Swanny say.

  359. Editor in Brisbane says:

    Jack, I’ve just re-opened MMG2 to comment and uploaded a photo (from Swanny) of Bill Kelloway. Any further detail about him?

  360. Dave says:

    (Quote) OZ is the dubious ‘world leader’ in obese women. (Endquote). Derek I beg to differ, take a trip here, but your comment sounds like it is here too. How else can they afford the big pickup trucks they drive around with 3 or 4 kids in there. I don’t know how much per kid they get, but its more than we got when ours was young. Lots of things here now you have to pay a user fee on top of all the taxes that the City has you pay. Geez, it frosts my ass.

  361. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Glad I won’t be here in a hundred years time. I can’t speak Arabic.

  362. Dave says:

    Ed, did someone pee in your corn flakes this morning? You sound peed off, maybe its time to pack up the mule and maybe move to say Alaska. No Mossies there, well at least not at this time of year.

    ED: No Dave just my usual acerbic self, induced mainly by our national news that OZ is fast running out of time to fund health and income costs for OAPs and self funded retirees and seeks to raise more self superannuitants, by keeping the over 65s working. No regard for the fucking spendthrift Treasury in paying out support for a long line of lazy, indolent single parents where the father gets the pleasure and does fuck all to support his carelessness. This country is fast turning into a long line of bastards, where single mothers get $5,000 to drop a kid and then lives on the dole with child support thrown in. We have 2 – 3 generations of so-called ‘Aussies’ who have never worked in their lives, never made a contribution to the public purse and moreover eat themselves into obesity on fast fucking junk foods. OZ is the dubious ‘world leader’ in obese women. They haven’t got around to weighing up the morbidly fat blokes – and there are plenty! All straining the health systems.

    Bah, Humbug!

    • Sylvia says:

      ED

      What you’ve described is exactly like the UK, just that we have had all of the above for years. At least OZ keeps the immigrants out, the UK let them in and give them our hard earned cash, which they send to their families so they can come here as well.

  363. Dave H says:

    ED, I think you should be working on your yacht, where do you find that shit.


    ED REPLY: Not hard Dave, these days in OZ, with the shitty weather, the shitty mossies, the shitty flies, the shitty economy, the shitty Government, the shitty Banks, shitty neighbours, shitty pit bull terriers, shitty school kids with bad manners. At least OZ won the fucking ODI cricket. Let’s hope there’s an end to all this shit!

  364. Jack Madron says:

    Dave.
    This is the Banter and KRAP blog.

  365. Dave H says:

    I think you lot are full of shit

  366. Jack Madron says:

    Sylvia.
    I suppository a laxative is out of the question?

  367. Editor in Brisbane says:

    A WORD.

    Seeing as how all you Clever Dicks are using You Tube clips to enthusiastically communicate your nostalgia, which I strongly support – BUT – in so doing – are slowing down General Banter (see Old Grumpy), hereto a request.

    By all means continue that option (only for music clips) – BUT – shift to the re-opened ‘Nostalgia Old Toons’ (which was it’s original intention, by the way).

    General Banter is getting constipated and will need an enema soon – or a replacement.

    • Sylvia says:

      ED

      I would rather have a replacement than an enema. Please, please don’t make me have an enema, I’ll be a good girl I really will!

      • Sylvia says:


        PS: I’ve just had a terrible thought, I hope there isn’t a clip on You Tube showing enemas!

        ED: Wow – what a challenge!

        • Sylvia says:

          ED

          That is funny, but I’m sure kids put worse than that in their mouths. Just hope it was clean.

  368. Sloop JB says:

    Hi Dave

    Like a lot of others started off alright then got too big headed. I think he either went on drugs or his brain snapped, ended up being disliked by other entertainers.

    • Dave H says:

      Quite good JB, although I don’t remember him, probably just trying to make it big when I left the UK.

  369. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED

    Fly over for the weekend. I still have a load of Guiness leftover from my Christmas stock, I would like nothing better than for you and I to finish the lot on a session. We could reminisce of the times when you and I would have a session down town Hamilton and wake up looking downwards to the water below and our mates looking on saying we pushed the Queen of Bermuda off the quay to make space. Happy Days, and to know what we know now.

    ED: Hold that thought Swanny!

  370. JT says:

    Hi Dave

    I know what you mean. There were a lot of fatties. Jack and me stood out as 2 of the slimmer specimens as I am sure you noticed.’Course Skinny Lovemore tried to show us up (but he told me he wears a corset).

    ED: What bullshit JT, I tried to put weight on with all the Guinesses that Swanson poured into me. ‘Corse, my 5 am x 10,000 steps keep it orf!

  371. Jack Madron says:

    Typical Hichens from Newlyn. All that water and he found the the solid bit. Should have gone to Specsavers.

  372. JT says:

    Swanny

    Tell them to take life belts and their own Zodiac. Remember what Noel Coward said about cruise ships. ” I always travel on Italian ships. They don’t have this nonsense about women and children first”

  373. Jack Madron says:

    That’s why Swanny doesn’t like his Guiness on ice.

  374. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    Keith and Maureen Mannings took Doris and I out to lunch yesterday at my cousin’s pub, The Pirate at Alverton. On the wall of the pub is a big picture of the Titanic Society of GB of which my cousin is a member. My uncle Robert Hichens and his great uncle was the quartermaster on the wheel of the ship when she struck the iceberg and if you go on You Tube write in Robert Hichens and will give you his history of coming from Newlyn West in Cornwall, and of our family, very interesting story of his life etc.

    The Society is setting up a trip in the near future of the complete trip following her disastrous voyage and my cousin and his wife are hoping to go on that trip, should be very interesting.

  375. Editor in Brisbane says:

    BRITISH HUMOUR 3 clips.

    • Sylvia says:

      ED

      Thats what I call comedy, this modern stuff doesn’t come any where near it. Mind you there were loads of stars in these videos that I knew the face but couldn’t remember the names. That was a good belly laugh just as I needed it, thanks.

      • JT says:

        Now Sylvia

        Dont mention bellies, you know it gets Dave over excited. Its our girl again.

        • Sylvia says:

          JT

          I have to say, that if I did that I wouldn’t stop wobbling for a week. And Dave wouldn’t be able to get excited because he’d be laughing to much.

        • Dave says:

          How right you are JT, nothing like a good flat belly. I saw some wonderful bay windows on the pics at the Re-Union.

  376. Editor in Brisbane says:

    ONLY IN OZ!

    View the entire clip

  377. Sloop JB says:

    ED,

    We are on quite a ride. Turn up the sound. It’s not over till it asks if you want to view again. This clever piece originated in Australia. It is so very well done most folks don’t realize how much info he is sharing! Just click on the link below. Speakers on. Photos by NASA.

    Enjoy your journey!

    ED: Thanks Sloop, puts fresh meaning to Dancing with the Stars.

  378. JT says:

    Dave

    Now we have Global Warming p’raps you can grow spuds in your tundra next year.

    Get them Inuit gals do some digging for you.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Dave

      Don’t know much about him either, just saw him a few times on telly, couldn’t understand what he was saying half the time so missed the funny side.

  379. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia

    AWOL Get on parade as soon as you can.

  380. JT says:

    Alert

    Tesco have banned customers from wearing pyjamas and nighties. This is an outrage and clearly a denial of Human Rights. I normally wear my Baby Doll shorty nighty when shopping locally (with leg warmers this time of the year)

    I trust I will get full backing in a petition to Parliament from fellow blog members.

    Thank you

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      Wolf whistles all around. When you come to Bodmin bring the gear with you, that’ll be sight worth seeing, a snap to send to ED to put on blog. You’ve my full backing.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      When you wear that nighty, don’t sit crossed legged or you’ll catch cold.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I will sign your petition so you can wear what ever you want, at any time not just in Tescos. The condition is you have to wear the baby doll nighty with stiletto shoes and fish net stockings!

      I used to wear baby doll’s when I was younger, I have advanced to wincette pyjamas, oh! yes and bed socks.

  381. T Howell says:

    ED
    Have replied to Louise (Rouse) on the Memoirs site, it occurs to me that she might welcome a chat with our ladies?

    Tom

    ED: Thanks Tom, I noticed your Comment. Good thinking. Louise has replied promptly to our remarks and direct email. Maybe she in turn will have enough photos to build a Picasa Album. Wonder if ever the paths of all of our young ladies ever crossed? We’ll gauge a reaction in due course.

    • Sylvia says:

      Tom & Louise

      Would love to chat to you Louise, but we may not have crossed paths as when we left Bodmin, in 1960 we joined the Durham Light Infantry and didn’t re-join Somerset & Cornwalls until we went to Gravesend in 1966. But I’m sure the stories will be interesting.

      I know I’ve been neglecting the blog lately, but as you know we have been busy decorating, and also had two funerals to attend in the last week. But will be back soon.

      • JT says:

        Sylvia

        If Louise contacts you find out if she can do spells and curses or maybe whittling (clothes pegs).

  382. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Now been on the phone to Donald he is in Southampton General Hospital and had surgery yesterday for a hip replacement. He is on epidural for the pain etc but is glad it’s all over after months of pain.

    He was so good to me when I was in hospital and a great comfort to Doris and stayed with her while I was going through the most difficult times last year. It just goes to show that during his Army career he was a fitness fanatic doing the likes of triathalons and squash at the highest level and he and John Aberdeen his RSM mate in 2LI, that you can be fit as fiddles but body functions can happen to the fittest of men. Only goes to show that age catches up with you and no matter how fit you are.

    ED: Give him our best regards ‘Ole Mate, for a speedy recovery. He might need to develop a taste for Guiness to lubricate the new joint.

  383. T Howell says:

    All
    Wot aboot Chic Murray then?

    Tom

  384. Dave says:

    Excellent Sloop, I just Googled him. Wow he is the same age as you. I didn’t think you were that old. Geeze you look good for an old Geezer.

  385. Dave H says:

    The 2 Ronnies were OK, One Foot in the Grave ain’t bad either. Steptoe and Son, hey this is going back some years 43 to be exact, there are probably others that I don’t remember.

    ED: Good choices Dave.

  386. Dave H says:

    I never liked Tommy Cooper or Frankie Howard and wasn’t keen on Benny Hill either, a little bit limp wristed for my liking.

    ED: OK Dave – who then did you like?

    • Jack Madron says:

      Saw Frankie Howerd in Senelager. Entertaining the troops. Absolutely brilliant.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Hello Jack

        It’s a good job we got our own tastes for things, it would be boring if we all liked the same thing. I thought Tommy Cooper was brilliant, didn’t have to say anything at times, just stand there with that gormless look on his face. Dave is right about the others, they were also brilliant.

  387. Sloop JB says:

    TOMMY COOPER JOKES

    (Editorial intervention) Sloop has very kindly researched the web and uncovered some priceless (but voluminous) One-Liners from Tommy Cooper and I have changed his method of presentation here in his Comment by linking a URL to Sloop’s name above and within the body text.

    A reminder that you can all link ANY URL to your name by cutting/pasting and/or sending that same URL to me in your text message. I shall then assume that you wish it highlighted and emboldened. Beware, however that URLs in the body text often get spammed.

    Ta!

  388. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia

    I’m not quite sure, maybe just to have a look around, like I said not sure. The music was fantastic and certainly got your feelings going. My apprentices would come to work, long hair singing their songs, didn’t always go down well with the elder guys and boss, but I didn’t mind. Lovely memories, when I meet my ex apprentices we have a chat about old times, the laughs we had. I always treated them like they were my own and I still get respect from them, so does my wife.

  389. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Sylvia
    Guiness is black nectar. On Dave’s video the drinks on show were either lager or bitter. I tell you something, all we got in the UK years ago was bottled Guiness and the reason was Guiness doesn’t travel very well. With a lot of Irish pubs now in England they have sold draft Guiness, and last few years have sold cold Guiness, very nice indeed. But still to this day it always tastes better in Eire, don’t know why but its true.

    When my daughter lived there I used to drink Murphy’s stout, a lovely drink not so bitter a taste as Guiness but both drinks are lovely, and I should know I have sampled both in most parts of Eire.

    • Dave Hutchinson says:

      Well Swanny. When and I say when I was a drinking man, I always drank Newcastle Brown, now thats a beer.

  390. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    DIG THIS MAN

  391. JT says:

    Sloop

    Your putting in “San Francisco” reminded me of the other 60’s songs. I was living on the West Coast of Canada at the time (the oldest wannabe hippy in town) and they trigger off vivid memories.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT. Loving music as I do, I also connect these records to where we were at the time, also who I knew. I spent a few happy hours reminiscing last night.

      Swanny. I noticed in Dave’s video that there was a glass of Guiness but it was the colour of bitter, is that right?

      ED. Happy Australia Day, right on top of Burns night, were you sober at all during that time.

      ED: Thanks Sylvia – no excesses – not like some. Cockroach Races An annual event.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT, I think we were all Wannabe Hippies at that time, I let my hair grow but it didn’t cut the ice.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Who Ever

        I hope I ain’t going to get the blame for all those ginger haired West Indian youngsters that was running around Kingston.

  392. Dave H says:

    Happy OZ Day ED.

    ED: Thanks Dave, I didn’t know that Lonnie had died in 2002, remember his songs quite well. I always associate him using the word ‘ignominious’ in the lyrics in one of his older songs. (Gottit! – opening lines of ‘Battle of New Orleans’).

  393. Sloop JB says:

    SYLVIA

    MORE CHILL

  394. JT says:

    Chilling 1967

  395. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia

    Chill out.

  396. Sylvia says:

    Hi gang

    I spent yesterday away from the house and the decorating, I’m feeling refreshed and ready to go on now. This room is taking away my life and my sense of humour, hopefully it will be finished this week.

    I hope you are all keeping well.

  397. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Ed
    Nice memories as you said of Guy Fawkes night etc.

    Just when most of us is feeling good, the government is warning us all about, and could be imminent, terrorist warnings about attacks etc. As we are always discussing on the blogs about these, on our web pages, what can we do to stop these things happening and with our Country and our close allies? You have got to be on your guard all of the time.

  398. Editor in Brisbane says:

    THE ‘UMBLE ‘TATER

    32C+ in OZ today, and we’ve just had a fine cold cuts lunch with salad spuds in basil dressing ‘n fine vintage Aussie wines. Brought to mind all those years ago when Mum boiled up the small ‘taters for the chooks and we kids filched ’em and bolted ’em down behind the garden shed.

    Remembered too, the boiling hot steaming centres of the bonfire roasted spuds on Guy Fawkes’ Night – sprinkled with salt and loaded with butter and eaten with blackened fingers!

  399. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Snap JT. I was admiring Bill’s picture, as you said he is looking very well indeed. Keep it up Bill. Like you Bill we have lovely country side views. ED did us proud putting that picture on the blog. Also Ed your clip of the girls skipping was first class.

    • Editor in Brisbane says:

      REF: Bill Griffiths.
      The Page Header photo of Bill overlooking the River Wye in Herefordshire, was taken in June 2009 while I spent 3 happy days with him at Eardisley. Two ‘Old Soldiers’ enjoying the peace and quiet of England, followed by an indepth examination of some local ale houses. Later in June we visited Shrewsbury for the Light Infantry weekend and also visited Bishop Sutton to view the Cuthbert -Smith Memorial. Bill was unable to attend our Re-Union as you know, but is a proud wearer of the Sweat Shirt.

      Bill has recently gone through some testing times, health and family wise, but is with us in spirit. He’s off to HK again this year.

  400. JT says:

    Hey look at Billy Boy gazing at far horizons. You look well Bill.

  401. Sloop JB says:

    A Somalian arrives in London as a new immigrant to the UK. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, ‘Thank you Mr. British for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!’ The passer by says, ‘You are mistaken, I am Mexican!’

    The man goes on and encounters another passer by. ‘Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK’. The person says, ‘I not British, I Polish!’

    The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, ‘Thank you for the wonderful Britain’. That person puts up his hand and says, ‘I am from Russia , I am not from Britain’.

    He finally sees a nice lady and asks, ‘Are you a British?’ She says, ‘No, I am from Africa’ Puzzled, he asks her, ‘Where are all the British?’
    The African lady checks her watch and says. ‘Probably at work’

  402. Sloop JB says:

    ED

    What a brilliant display the young ladies put on. I remember as kids in the street skipping, singly or with the long ropes, getting as many in the middle as possible, we use to take it in turn swinging the rope, our arms use to ache after a while.

  403. Dave H says:

    That and other things Jack, won’t mention what we did with the Thunder Flash though.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Dave

      I don’t know what you did with the Thunder Flash but up on the North Coast a Sjt used plastic explosive to go fishing.

  404. Editor says:

    DON’T SKIP THIS CLIP
    Be patient – ’tis worth it! Activate the clip and wait!

    • Jack Madron says:

      Hey Ed.
      We used to do that with machine gun belts. Didn’t we Dave? Joking aside, that was very clever. Hell, I got breathless just watching.

      • JT says:

        Jack and Dave

        Did the MMGs who shot their toes off with those wooden blanks skip ?

        • Dave H says:

          Hey JT. There you is I thought you had gone to the dogs. Yes they skipped JT all the way to the hospital.

  405. Sloop JB says:

    Dave H

    I did have a short time in Germany before the posting in West Indies but thats only interesting to the guys who were there also.

    Do you think Jack really flashes at the women in Mousehole, I hope he has got a lot of batteries for his torch.

  406. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia

    Glad to hear you are progressing with decorating your room, I’m sure, between you and your lad you will overcome any obstacles that arise. Stick at it, the end result will be well worthwhile. Only thing we found was when you do one room it makes the other rooms look like they could do with a lick of paint.

    • Sylvia says:

      Thanks Sloop, this room we are doing has been horrendus, but we won’t give up. Two weeks it has taken us to get it ready for the coving and wallpaper. Only good thing is that I did all the other rooms last year so once this one is done we can stop. The other rooms have been done regularly I can’t remember why we always left this one.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Sylvia

        Coving as well, you’re going for it big time, hope your corners worked out alright, I’ve done a bit of swearing when I fitted ours, was glad when I’d finished.

        • Sylvia says:

          Sloop

          We’ve got to paper the ceiling as well. I should have taken JT’s advice and moved house.

          • Sloop JB says:

            Sylvia

            Who’s going to be the brave one and paper the ceiling, I dont want to see an Eric Sykes finish.

            When Sylvy papered the parlour we couldn’t see Sylvy for paste, forgive me I just couldn’t resist, keep hanging in there our girl. lol xx

  407. Dave H says:

    Hi Jack. Hey I’m not doing too bad, not snowing not raining here, not too much snow left, melted quite a bit right now -4c. I can take that. I have not seen fuzz face on here for awhile, hope he is OK, must be too busy walking his doggies.

  408. Jack Madron says:

    A number of sayings spring to mind.
    Beauty is only skin deep.
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
    Self praise is no recommendation.
    Good day to you Dave. How you doing, mate ?
    Bloody raining here again.

  409. Dave H says:

    JB, you must have me mixed up with some other person, as I didn’t get to Jamaica in April 55, maybe it is Jack you saw. Oh no it can’t have been Jack, I am a lot better looking than him, ha ha.

  410. Dave H says:

    Sloop, it is quite possible we met if you were in Jamaica 1955 -1957, maybe I dragged you out of one of those cat houses when I was on Town Patrol.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Dave

      I left Jamaica April 55. I didn’t visit cat houses so that lets that out. I’ve been pondering over this for a while, I just wondered if you came down to the Officer’s Mess at sometime.

  411. Sloop JB says:

    Dave H

    Did we meet up in Kingston, nothing to do with MMGs or Rifle Coy. Ever since I saw your name here on the blog I’ve had this distinct feeling I know you from those times.

  412. Editor says:

    ONE BRAND NEW DIGGER!

    Grated Britain. You can have him back soon, the girls loved him and we made sure that he didn’t feel like a tampon!

  413. Jack Madron says:

    PS.
    I must learn English some day.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      May be more appropriate to learn the language the kids use on their mobile phones. Now that may be an asset.

      • Editor in Brisbane says:

        Why not Sloop. Let’s add illiteracy, innumeracy, ignorance, conceit, discourtesy, malingering, rudeness, selfishness, uncommunicative, inarticulate, irresponsible impregnation and many many more to the list.

        Then the English Language, Decency, Honour, Loyalty, Culture and History can be flushed away like many other RRR hard won standards. Let the Political Correctness pundits save the day then!

        • Sloop JB says:

          Hello ED

          What I can see from where I’m standing most of that is in already, not all youngsters are in that category but from my experience I think a lot of parents could do with some education.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        No thanks. I’m sticking to the little bit of English I know.

  414. Jack Madron says:

    TEK is pronounced TAKE.
    Enjoyed our little chat Swanny.

  415. SWANNY SWANSON says:


    All
    Jack just gone home, as usual we have had a good afternoon chit chat, we put the world right again remembering our West Indies times etc and good memories of those days. Also I had my Cornish language lesson ie TEK-AN-MOR my fishing boat’s name Beauty-The-Sea, learn something every time with Jack as my tutor?

  416. Jack Madron says:

    You can’t beat Democracy. We pay. They holiday in far off lands.

  417. JT says:

    In Kiwi land they had Big Willy wearing a carpet and rubbing noses with some bloke.

  418. JT says:

    Dave

    You want to watch it with the Elk Horn call. You know what happened last season when that big bull came to return the call. What did the doctor say by the way ? How embarrassing.

  419. Dave H says:

    ‘Tis almost sundown here so I thought I would try the last post on my hunting horn. Didn’t turn out too good, the neighbours thought I had gone nuts, maybe I should have tried it on the elk horn.

  420. Jack Madron says:

    What gives with the Del? This isn’t Fools and Horses, Swanny.

    ED: Jack, ain’t that the name of a local pub?

    • Jack Madron says:

      Could be Ed.
      So many have changed names it’s hard to keep up with them. Don’t think there’s one called The Swanny though.

      ED: What about “The Crab Sandwich”? Swanny might take his drinking consultancy business there!

  421. Jack Madron says:

    Earlier I mentioned pea shooters. I forgot to mention Pop Gunn. Swanny, you’d cause war in heaven and weren’t the Vikings invaders?

    • Sylvia says:

      Jack

      Are pop guns the same as the potato guns we used. I remember when we were living in the barracks in Bodmin, we lived near a well known Col. who had a son, and we used to fire the potato guns at the son and he used to run away because he wasn’t allowed to get dirty. Poor guy, I told you we were ‘orrible little children.

      • Sylvia says:

        Just remembered, we were not allowed pea shooters so we made them out of the stalks of the cow parsley, which brought our mouths out in sores and when Mum said have you been pea shooting we used to say ‘No Mum’ and then wonder how she knew!

        • Sloop JB says:

          Sylvia

          We use to make our peashooters out of cow parsley stems. Can’t remember getting sore mouths, we used hawthorn berries instead of peas. One year in our town a junk shop had a load of glass tubes on the pavement, we ended up with a few, had to be careful not to break them for obvious reasons, but accidents happen and one of the boys got his stuck in his neck, he was running around and we couldn’t get hold of him to see to it, he was alright didn’t do too much damage.

  422. Dave H says:

    JT. Down boy.

  423. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia

    When you come to Bodmin beware the man with the big horns on his head, could be your nightmare come true. We don’t want you going down the ‘Swanny’

    • JT says:

      Silvia

      In fact avoid all horny men as a general rule particularly in Penzance

    • Sylvia says:

      Thank you so much for the advice guys, I will try and remember it all when I go to Cornwall at the end of June.

  424. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Go on Del tell them. Your wife and I are from Viking stock, our forefathers were Clan Gunn and my father used to tell our family that the Gunn Clan were the only clan banned from the Gathering of the Clans because of their barbarian history. War could erupt at any given time on these occasions.

    I say let all that are Clan Gunn rise up and get rid of all these rebel muslims in the UK, don’t matter about this European Human Rights crap, kick the bastards out, and if need be get the other clans to back us up.

  425. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    We’ve got Clodgey Moor and Bodmin Moor but no Roger Moore. Thank goodness.
    JT.
    Whips and Tops. Marbles. Pea Shooters. Out in a rowing boat fishing, without a lifejacket. How in hell did we survive?

  426. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    Are you telling us that Ian Fleming is down Penzance writing all those books and making all those films. I’ll have to keep my eyes open for Roger Moore and all the Bond girls when I go down later in the year.

  427. JT says:

    Dave

    Don’t know about London but please note that Jack is tying string to things (unmentioned but we might speculate). Bondage is rife in Penzance?

  428. David says:

    Yeah JT, and you probably graduated from whips and tops, to whips and leather. I know you people in London are into S&M

  429. Jack Madron says:

    That wasn’t a yoyo JT. That was a piece of string tied to my finger to remind me of something. Trouble is, I can’t remember what it was I’m supposed to remember.

    • JT says:

      Jack

      Do you remember whips and tops? When we were kids they were brought out at Easter. Would Elf and Safe T allow them today?

  430. JT says:

    Jack

    In confidence just what are you doing with that yoyo in your bedroom?

  431. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    MMGs always kicked.

    Sylvia.
    Don’t like yoyos. To many ups and downs. Cue a remark from JT.

  432. Sloop JB says:

    Dave H,

    Question: when you kissed ass in the MMG’s, was it on the right side the left side or right in the groove? Pucker up.

    • Sylvia says:

      Sloop

      I’d like to see Dave’s answer to this comment, I think he said ‘kick’ ass.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Sylvia

        You’re quite right it was kick and not kiss, I blamed my machine saying it’s not behaving itself, interesting question though wasn’t it?

  433. JT says:

    Big Willy is heading for Oz next week. Let us hope they are not rude to him.

  434. Editor says:

    REF: AMERICAN CIVIL WAR BANTER

    Hereto the original soundtrack of “The Story of a Soldier”. From the 1966 soundtrack of “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”. Worth a listen.

  435. Sylvia says:

    Now do I want to be a Swedish dwarf, or a lop sided shoe? Thats a difficult decision to have to make this time of night, I know, I’ll sleep on it and let you all know tomorrow.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Good morning Sylvia

      I hope your sleeping on the lop sided shoe didn’t cause you too much discomfort, have a good day.

      • Sylvia says:

        Sloop

        Thanks, you’ve solved my problem, I will be the old lady that lives in a shoe during the winter, and the resident gypo in the summer. I had nightmares about being chucked around by a viking!

        • Jack Madron says:

          Sylvia.
          I bet you’d be the life and SOLE of the party. TOE the line and keep INSTEP with everything.

          • JT says:

            Oh Noooooo

            No wonder Jack is champion of the Dandy Puzzles Corner every week. I see he won a yoyo last week. Have fun lad but not indoors please.
            Did the hoola hoop fit round the tum in the end?

          • Sylvia says:

            Jack

            That is really funny, no wonder you won a yoyo.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Sylvia

          You weren’t having nightmares about Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis coming up the Thames in a long boat were you, hope you had your liberty bodice and chastity belt on.

          • JT says:

            Re Thames and Vikings. Now my boat has gone the wife’s plans for my Viking funeral are buggered.

          • Sylvia says:

            Sloop

            All I remember about that film is Tony Curtis being shackled to the harbour wall while the tide was coming in, and some old woman shouting ‘Odin, Odin send the wind to turn the tide’. Now I’m showing my age, or was it repeated on the telly over Christmas and my short term memory is as bad as my long term memory.

            • Sylvia says:

              Thanks ED I enjoyed that.

            • Editor in Brisbane says:

              Sylvia, ’tis interesting to view and participate in the quips, banter and memories of the ’60s etc, particularly these big old time epic movies, starring the ‘real’ actors of the screen and not the plastic versions we see so much of today. I well remember “The Vikings” on the big screen and the majestic sound of that big horn blown to announce the return of the vessel up the fjiord.

            • Sylvia says:

              ED

              I really love those old epic films, Spartacus, Ben Hur, The Ten Commandments and of course Gone with the Wind, oh and those musicals. As you say the films are not the same today, I sometimes watch a modern film and then think ‘well what was that all about’ at least the 40’s 50’s and 60’s films had a proper story.

  436. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Didn’t see anything that colour in the coal hole. If we could get one with a tattoo like that I would have signed on and we would donate to the Hug and Deport a Mossie Fund. That’s the reason I only got two tattoos.

  437. Editor says:

    SPECIAL DEAL FOR THE MMG PLATOON

    All proceeds to the Hug & Deport a Mossie Fund!

    • Dave H says:

      What has that got to do with the MMGs? If it means we used to kick ass, you are damn right.

      ED: Well DH, let me put it this way. Firstly, its on the piss taking Krap Blog and secondly the linked article shows the extremes now to which tattooed body ornamentation has gone. I thought that it might evoke some scintillating discourse. However, I could – if you prefer – put up some pictures of tattooed and pierced penises – in full graphical detail. Problem might be to find a model long enough to show “MMG”

      • Dave H says:

        Well Ed we know for a fact that you wouldn’t get the modelling job.

        • Dave H says:

          Oh and we were the ones who had the biggest guns, as Sloop knows we were the hardest ones to blow.

          • Sloop JB says:

            Dave H

            I said to Jack that my machine was playing up, seems like it’s gone dislexic, I’m sure it said kiss and not kick. I must agree you were the boys with the big ones.

  438. Editor in Brisbane says:

    JOKES HEARD ON BRISBANE ETHNIC RADIO

    Irish accented

    1.) 2 nuns in a red Mini went to the Shopping Centre and couldn’t find a park.The driving nun said to the other – you go and shop and I’ll just keep driving around. The nun shopped, finished and waited in vain outside. She said to an Irishman “Have you seen a nun in a red mini?”

    He replied – not since I took the pledge!

    2.) An Irishman leading a HUGE angry dog along the road to the vet and bumped into a neighbour who asked – what’s the problem with yer dog – and the owner said – I’m having him put down.

    “Is he mad said the neighbour”

    Well said the owner – he’s not too pleased about it.

    3.) An Irish Catholic Jew (?) factory owner was approached by a close friend who offered his condolences on his factory being burned down.

    “It’s tomorrow” said the owner.

    Gotta Larf!

  439. Jack Madron says:

    JB on leave again ?

    • Sloop JB says:

      Morning Jack

      Not so much on leave, more peed off with this machine. Everytime I get to work on it the damned machine goes down. We are sending for another router to see if we can get a better service. Have a good weekend.

  440. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Swanny seems to be saying you are a Swedish dwarf.

    If true you could get Derek to enter you for next years Dwarf Throwing Championships in Alice Springs.

    ED: Only in OZ mate!

  441. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Lana has been with us on some Fridays as the Doc and Mrs Doc work all day. But from today they have a dog walker on Fridays.

  442. JT says:

    Wot the f.. are they on about now ?

  443. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    A droll is one of they Swedish Dwarfs that live in them thar caves, somfin like our Cornish Piskies. I believe you and Annie met a couple when you were down here last year. Hope you believe in Folklore.

  444. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Dont forget to brush up on the fortune telling and developing suitable facial warts before the new season.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I think I’ve got warts from last year, I won’t know until I remove this facial hair. Might take your advice and teach Dean to do fortune telling. Bless him, he has stripped the walls in the dining room, now he has to do some polyfiller and sand the skirting and door frames. Then we can start choosing colours to go on the walls. I hope you and Annie are well, has Annie seen Lana?

      • JT says:

        Sylvia

        Steady on. We don’t want to get Dave over stimulated with disturbing images. It won’t be Spring in Dog Patch BC for months.

  445. T Howell says:

    Jack/Sylvia
    The US of A is full of my namesakes but I have not so far made any direct connection with my branch of the family. Some Thomas Howell’s were there in the early 1600’s.

    Sylvia bring your horse to Bodmin and set up the DCLI Horse!

  446. JT says:

    The night they drove old dixie down.

  447. Jack Madron says:

    Also on the Tennessee Cavalry roster. HOWELL. Winfield S. Comp H.
    No other known names.

    • Sylvia says:

      Jack

      Are you saying there were no Royffe’s in the Tennessess Cavalry. I can ride a horse!

      • Jack Madron says:

        Sylvia.
        Didn’t see the name Royffe nor Swanson surprisingly, as Ed said, “that Bugger gets everywhere”.

        JT.
        Apparently, the Tennessee Cavalry were Union troops.

        • JT says:

          Jack

          Yes I know they were Union. Yankee sumbitches.

          One time I was very interested in the Civil War and visited several battlefields mostly in Virginia and the Shenandoah Valley. These sites are so well presented with excellent visitors centres.

  448. JT says:

    I agree, it looks like “A” Coy pay parade. That dodgy CQMS had flogged all the uniforms again.

  449. Jack Madron says:

    Hi Dave.
    Can’t be mad. A book I have on the name Madron, find them all over USA. One family in Canada but none in Africa. New Zealand or Oz, so can’t be mad. Ha ha.

  450. Dave H says:

    No Jack you got it wrong they were all Mad and Called Ron

  451. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    Found a roster on the web for the 13th TENNESSEE CAVALRY. U.S.ARMY. 1863-1865. In Comp D there was a John M Madron. And I can’t even ride a horse. Apparently, Madron is a well known name in the USA. Must have had some randy ancestors.

  452. Jack Madron says:

    Must be A Coy. Even B Coy wasn’t that big a rabble. Also, too tight fisted to buy soap.

  453. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Tom
    The picture of don’t drink the water downstream. The guy in front of the crowd with the white beard is JT, photo just taken after pay parade. We in A Coy always jumped with joy as we got the highest LOA in Bermuda. The guy in the middle with the beard looks a bit like the Ed. You can just make out in the picture Swanny and Terry Simons in the background. It’s a bloody good job we didn’t buy Rex Brains’ bronze rat.

    ED: Tom, you’re absolutely correct. That bugger Swanny IS everywhere!

  454. Jack Madron says:

    Ed.
    I mentioned this on a blog about six or more months ago. The group are Canadian and are called, Sons of Maxwell.

  455. Editor in Brisbane says:

    RELAYED FROM BILL GRIFFITHS

    How to handle customer complaints:

    A musician named Dave Carroll recently had difficulty with United Airlines. United apparently damaged his treasured Taylor guitar ($3500) during a flight. Dave spent over 9 months trying to get United to pay for damages caused by baggage handlers to his custom Taylor guitar. During his final exchange with the United Customer Relations Manager, he stated that he was left with no choice other than to create a music video for You Tube exposing their lack of co-operation. The Manager responded : “Good luck with that one, pal”.

    So he posted a retaliatory video on You Tube. The video has since received over 7 million hits! United Airlines has contacted the musician and attempted settlement in exchange for pulling the video. Naturally his response was: “Good luck with that one, pal”.

    Taylor Guitars sent the musician 2 new custom guitars in appreciation for the product recognition from the video that has lead to a sharp increase in orders.

    Here’s the video, linked above.

  456. Geoff Cherry says:

    They can’t make out why the river silted up downstream.

  457. Dave H says:

    I think everyone has died, or been drinking that water downstream, not a soul in sight

  458. Editor in Brisbane says:
  459. Editor in Brisbane says:

    RELAYED FROM REX BRAIN

    Subject: Only an Australian

    An Aussie bloke walks into a Sydney curio/antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: ‘How much is this bronze rat?’ The owner replied: ‘It’s $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.’ The fella gave the owner his $12 and said: ‘I’ll just take the rat, you can keep the story!’

    As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the drains and begun following him. This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.

    He increased his speed and ran on towards Sydney Harbour and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster and faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the water as he could. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.

    The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said, ‘Ah, you’ve come back for the story then?’ ‘Shit no!’ said the bloke, ‘I came back to see if you’ve got a bronze Muslim, a couple of Asians, a Poof, a Pom and an Indian spin bowler.

  460. Sylvia says:

    Has JT gone awol, or is he trying to catch up on all those 10,000 steps a day he has missed!

    • Dave H says:

      Sylvia he is trying to find out what a Bango is. I know what it is. Its when your Bang won’t go anymore.

  461. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    The thing I like about Country music is the variety of songs. Sad, comedy, love songs. You name it, they’ve got it. One comedy song, which I can’t find on You Tube, is one I was tricked into singing in a club in Hartlepool was, “All Of The Monkeys Ain’t In The Zoo”. Closest I’ve got to being lynched. Ha ha.

    • Sylvia says:

      Jack

      I’m with you as to C&W music, it is so varied, my late hubby played the bango as a hobby, and when we had BBQs at the caravan they always asked him to sing and play, and most of his songs were C&W.

      I remember reading about you singing the Monkey song, it may not have been funny at the time, but it made me laugh.

      • JT says:

        Wots a bango ?

        • Sylvia says:

          JT

          Oops, now I’ll get a 1000 lines from ED, meant a banjo. Somebody must have moved the g and the j on my keyboard. I’ll go sit on the naughty step now.

          Dean has started steaming and stripping in the privacy of the dinning room. I shut the curtains and averted my eyes.

  462. Sloop JB says:

    To brighten up our day everyone.

    • Sylvia says:

      Sloop

      Absolutely brilliant, made a bit more meaningfull, as I was cutting out the 3rd token for my Cornish holiday.

  463. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia, just to confuse you I’ve posted a song on Old Grumpy’s for you. Then come back here.

  464. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia

    You’re quite right, we do need something to make us smile, I’ll see what I can find. But as you know most C/W music is about heart break and sadness.

  465. Sloop JB says:

    Jack,

    Have a weep.

  466. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Dave H
    Now listened to your music you put on for Jack, I have not seen him before, brilliant.

    Our weather is a lot warmer today, just been out and scraped some icy bits away from the front door. Doris and I walked to our local shop yesterday, as I have said, I have to use my walking stick now on a regular basis. Doris also has to use a stick now most of the time, if you could have seen us hobbling up the lane. Afraid the 140 paces are now really in the past. Only + I could manage, is to shoot a few of the unmentionables if I had the chance. I wish.

  467. Dave H says:

    Hope this works. For Jack.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Thank you Dave.
      Good old No Show Jones. One of my favourites. C/W music isn’t all sad and weepy but one song I like George singing is “He Stopped Loving Her Today”. Now that is a weepy.

      Come on Swanny, get up to date with the Country Stars. Ha ha.

      • Dave H says:

        Yeah, No Show, because he is an old drunk ha ha. He was in our city last October, but I didn’t go to see him, the ticket prices were crazy.

  468. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Your video of the snow in Cornwall is brilliant, lot of the pics were in this weeks Cornishman Newspaper, gives our bloggers good pics of Cornwall.

  469. Sloop JB says:

    Hello Derek,

    Fancy calling my son a smart ass, I don’t know where he gets it from. As to any other things I could get up too it certainly won’t be playing with pipes.

  470. Dave H says:

    I didn’t see Jack on the video, he must be hibernating.

  471. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Sylvia
    We’re the same. Our bungalow is at the end of our estate and on quite a steep hill, no chance of driving out because yesterday those who drove out could not get up this steep incline 5 cars crashed here yesterday into each other. No snow last night but the road is still very icy. Maybe we can get out a bit later on if the sun comes out and defrost the road a bit. We did shopping few days ago, thought we would be all right for a few says and will have to make an effort to go to the supermarket, lets hope you can get your car out.

    ED: Video Clip – Cornwall Snow.

    • Sylvia says:

      Swanny

      We are lucky that we have a supermarket within walking distance, so shopping isn’t the problem. I usually meet up with friends most mornings and I’m missing their company. I know I’ve got Dean to talk to now, but it’s not the same as women’s gossip. I hope you manage to get out soon.

  472. Sylvia says:

    Hi gang

    Looks like I won’t be able to get the car out of the street again today. Been shut in here since Tuesday and going stir crazy, and oh! look it’s snowing again.

    • Dave H says:

      Is it snowing Sylvia, Oops sorry I shouldn’t joke about it, why doesn’t your council get the sanders out so people can get out. Don’t pay your rates then that would move them.

      • Sylvia says:

        Dave

        I really don’t mind you joking about the snow we’ve had, compared to what you get it’s only a ‘flurry’

  473. Editor in Brisbane says:


    COULD BE WORSE!!

    An amorous German named Hans
    Laid his hands on his mate’s private glans
    With his touch ineffective
    He expressed great invective
    And ripped out his mates balls with his hands

  474. Jack Madron says:

    I believe he is being charged with Gross mis conduit.

  475. JT says:

    Sloop
    No he just had a pipe dream.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      Are you sure it wasn’t a wet pipe dream, when we we kids we would say up your pipe, seems like he took it serious.

  476. Sloop JB says:

    Was he a mechanic unblocking the exhaust?.

  477. Jack Madron says:

    What’s the betting the pipe had an inside thread. Right or left handed. A screw is a screw. Sorry Sylvia, but I couldn’t resist that remark.