BLOODY UNBELIEVABLE

The state of the Nation, fowarded by Rex Brain.

The state of the Nation, fowarded by Rex Brain.

Guardian.uk article referred by John Tenniswood. Hotlinked to raise your pulse rate.

Guardian.uk article referred by John Tenniswood. Hotlinked to raise your pulse rate

The above revelationary article from the UK Guardian was forwarded to me by JT on 8th October 2009 and sent my pulse into a spin. America’s Heartland in strife – who would imagine? There but for the grace of God (sic) go all Western economies, but the Pollies continue to spend, spend spend as if there’s no tomorrow. Cinch in yer belts cheps – it can happen to all of us, and there’s no fucking Conan the Terrible here!

PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED PHOTOS OF MUSLIM PROTESTORS MOCKING BRITISH TROOPS HAVE BEEN REMOVED. YOU TUBE CLIPS ON THIS MATTER CAN BE PICKED UP FROM THE LINKS BELOW.

KILLING OF NON MUSLIMS IS LEGITIMATE?

RADICAL ISLAM IN BRITAIN

9/11 A DAY OF SORROW
Let us never forget this enemy and what the bastards are capable of doing!
THIS SECTION OF THE PAGE HEADER IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION WITH FRESH MATERIAL

BRITAIN IS PROUD OF THE NHS!

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1,283 Responses to BLOODY UNBELIEVABLE

  1. JT says:

    As this particular Blog is mostly unattended except by yours truly I shall abandon it, in future write my pearls of wisdom on bog paper and flush.

  2. JT says:

    Geoff

    They would dearly love to bring back workhouses. They are actually using the same dogma as they did in 1840.

    We are all in this together they say. Yeah Right

  3. Geoff Cherry says:

    It is Bloody Unbelievable. This new lot in charge (the wishy -washy Lib Dems in bed with the Tories) the high intelligence?

    We have high unemployment, people being put out of work every day, so what do they do, they put their highly educated heads together, and solve the problem. Higher the age of retirement, cut benefits to get the unemployed into work at non existent jobs.

    Children do not need an adult after they reach the age of (10) only at night when they sleep, and not even then after they reach the age of (16) so parents can work full time, so people have been told at job centres.
    Freeze the pay of the workers, but still leave the flood gates wide open for the greedy bunch at the top with their high bonuses, and awards. Then to top the lot they are asking the people to solve the problem for them. Who voted them in? WE DID.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Geoff.
      You asked. Who voted them in? I didn’t. Still available with Vickers machine gun. 24/7. Standard union rates, of course.

  4. JT says:

    Sir Jock Stirrup (£285,000 pa) has been reigned in and sent to the knackers yard. Tally Ho

  5. JT says:

    It is noticed that not many “activists” volunteer to go the the Democratic Republic of Congo where over 3 million have died in the last 4 years.

  6. JT says:

    Sloop.

    So much for the great clean up promised by Flash Cam and Cleggy (Lord Snooty and his pal). You are right, they are already saying they hope he will be back. The fact that his boy friend works for a Lobby Group should be enough to keep him out never mind he has fiddled expenses.

  7. Sloop JB says:

    Bloody Unbelievable

    Looks like we’ve been ripped off to support this Minister Brown Hatting with his partner. I thought claiming for bags of manure and duck ponds were bad enough but my God how low do these people go, no pun intended, have they no morals at all?

    • JT says:

      Sloop

      Well the goody goody Lib Dems are first off the block in the new government with an expenses scam. I expect the Gay Right lot will be demonstrating.

      • Sloop JB says:

        JT

        If he is a good boy all will be forgotten and forgiven, and he can come back into the government, just what sort of people are they. Are they living in the same world as us. Bloody Unbelievable.

  8. SUPPPORT FOR THE VALID ARGUMENT IN MAINTAINING THE NATIONAL SERVICE

    Useless, jobless men – the social blight of our age. The benefits system has produced an emasculated generation who can find neither work nor a wife.

    ED: Problem also is, these fuckers can still impregnate an available female and bring another unplanned child into dependency.

  9. I SAY CHEPS – WHAT’S NEW?

    Snouts in the trough, nothing alters. Being an MP grants automatic piggy status. Banish the fucker to Iceland.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Derek

      You’re so right.

      Change of Parliament, same pigs, same troughs, did we think for one moment that things would change.

  10. Jack Madron says:

    Pix in the paper yesterday, taken in 1940. The king sitting down behind a Bren. He scored two bulls. I had to laugh. The bloody thing was on fixed lines. Two bulls. The one who set it up must have had s**t in his eyes.
    Yes, he was sitting.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      You could say; Big Chief Sitting Two Bulls, that would put a feather in your cap, lol.

  11. 2 Year old, hooked on fags! 40 a day habit and too unfit to play. Unbelievable!

    Click the link to read the NineMSN News item.

  12. JT says:

    Got some kippers today. Had warning “This product contains fish”. That’s comforting

  13. JT says:

    They say they are going to cut down Qwangos but have created 11 “Commissions” to discuss things.

  14. JT says:

    Sign of the time? Prime Minister called Dave, Deputy Prime Minister called Nick, Leader of Opposition called Ed?

  15. JT says:

    Tolja

    Glegg wants to keep the (much abused by greedy lawyers) Human Right laws. He even objects to control orders. When we get the inevitable promised dirty bomb will the people remember the real culprits?

    Clegg the F(lying) Dutchman wants to hand even more powers to local councils (many are Lib Dem) These are even more corrupt than MP’s. and issue the most barmy PC rules. Not bad for a party that was wiped out in the election.

  16. JT says:

    Lots of comments in the Meeja that so few women have been selected as MP’s. “What about inequality” they ask. Well in the last Parliament women MP’s certainly were more than equal than others in expenses frauds. Proportionately they were even more crooked than the blokes. So were the Asians it seems.

  17. JT says:

    In the weird world of our new government it has been decided to cut the pay of the Fat Cats in Government jobs and Qwangos so that no one can earn more than 20 times of the lowest paid in their organisation. So if the lowest paid is £20,000 the boss men cannot earn more than £400,000. So thats alright then.

  18. JT says:

    They seem to have forgotten us in these grand Coalition election plans. Bastards

  19. Swanny says:

    All
    I told you all Clegg was a public schoolboy prat, what will he say to Fert Face as Jack calls him? “This is another fine mess you have got me into”. As always jobs for the assholes especially that bumptious prat Hague, he ballsed it all up the last time those prats got in power, might last 3 months?

  20. Jack Madron says:

    Bluebottle and Horsefly. Two fly baskets together. May the Lord have mercy on our souls.

  21. Jack Madron says:

    Tories promising the LDs PR if the people say it’s OK. Just like Heath did before he took us into Europe. What a bunch of tossers.

  22. JT says:

    The pollies are fighting for their places in the new trough. As usual self interest rules. Another fine one they have got us into.

  23. Jack Madron says:

    Some papers todays headlines. Con Dem Nation.

  24. JT says:

    Brown has gone barmy in No 10. Hope they’ve confiscated the nuclear weapon button and given him another toy to play with.

  25. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    Who is big geordie?

    • JT says:

      Hi Sloop

      I mean Gordie (Brown)

      • Sloop JB says:

        JT

        Brown comes from Queensferry Scotland, when we were there on one of our tours the guide that came on the coach told us he wasn’t even welcome there either.

  26. JT says:

    I see the postal vote scam is in full flow with Asians running it. Why the f**k are they still allowing this?

  27. JT says:

    Big Gordie has to stop SMILING for no reason that anyone understands. He looks barmy.

  28. Swanny says:

    JT
    At least Gordon Brown has done his chances a power of good to get Prime Minister in the West Indies as he gave a moving sermon to the congregation of West Indians in London last Sunday and they loved him for it.

  29. Jack Madron says:

    If Fertface could read and knew about this blog he’d cry blue murder. He loves anybody from Belize but only if they are multimillionaires. If only that Vickers in Bodmin had its lock.

  30. JT says:

    Poor old Brer Brown buggered again. Called a bigot a bigot. What an uproar. She’ll be a celeb now. On Question Time. Writing her own political column in the Sun. Then Page 3 ?

    Don’t know what they would call us lot.

  31. JT says:

    Jack

    Cut it out all together you mean ? I vote for that.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Big Ears couldn’t fly home from Scotland because of the ash so he ordered the royal train at the tax payers expense to take him home. Bloody car not good enough. I’d make him bloody walk.

  32. Jack Madron says:

    With all the cuts that are going to be made by the next gov, whoever they are. How much is the Civil List being cut?

  33. Jack Madron says:

    Watched a program on History Channel about the Royal Navy and the ANZACs, Dardanelles and Gallipoli. My god what a bloody balls up by that three times turncoat Churchill. Bloody pollies never learn. Always sticking their bloody noses into something they know nothing about and others suffer.

  34. JT says:

    Jack

    Damn, you are right. Get him a mobility scooter. Problem is though he doesn’t get to shag the girl grooms. I say girl because the alternative is not to be thought about. In any case if he is shagging anything at his age we can but admire and only envy. What is he on ?

  35. Jack Madron says:

    Poor old Phil the Greek has hurt his ankle. Should be banned from driving horse and wagons. He’ll hurt a horse one day if he’s not stopped.

  36. JT says:

    Flash Cam photographed jogging with “a soldier home from Afghanistan”. Makes you sick don’t it? Change from kissing babies I suppose. In the TV debates all of them now say our “BRAVE” soldiers whenever soldiers are mentioned. Funny isn’t it how popular the troops are suddenly.

    Pollies are such cynical slimy bastards.

    • Sloop JB says:

      We have been inundated with (news of) the rubbish the Volcano has been sending our way, but since the planes have been out of the sky we have had perfectly clear blue skies. This morning with the planes back in the sky, all we can see is vapour trails and unclear skies, who and which is doing the most damage?

      • JT says:

        Sloop

        Thats easy. The Met Office and their hopelessly wrong computer models. Wrong about the “BBQ summer” wrong about the “warmest winter” wrong about global warming. Take the computers off them. Get em to look out of their windows and go back to “showers in places” or “frost in some areas”. Lets have the weather girls on TV topless.

        • Sloop JB says:

          JT

          Not sure about the topless weather girls, they may get sunburn, frozen, soaking wet, covered in ash, depending what the forecast is for that particular day. It would make for exciting viewing though wouldn’t it, lets take a vote on it. Aye.

  37. JT says:

    That’ll do me

  38. JT says:

    Who will be our leader after the election ?

  39. JT says:

    Flash Cam ad Cleggy both went to public schools.

    They say that public schoolboys are taught to tie a bow tie with one hand but can’t find a clitoris with a halogen lamp.

  40. JT says:

    Its those bloody video spy cameras Jack.

  41. JT says:

    Nice to see you back Jack and Swanny.

    Isn’t it Dave ?

  42. JT says:

    All. So what do we think of Clegg ? He wants to scrap Trident. Coz if we set an example the Iranians, Israel, North Koreans, Indians, China; Russians, France will all say “Hey, UK has given em up we will all play the game and scrap ours”

  43. JT says:

    Sloop

    I also call him Captain Beaky

  44. JT says:

    Flash Cam says “we are all in this together”. Does he mean we are all in the shit ?

    If he means we are all equal. Tell him there ain’t much caviar and champagne at my end of the trough.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      If Flash Cam as you call him are inviting us to help run the Country why should we bother to vote him in? Just a thought.

      • JT says:

        Sloop

        He says they will let the counsels govern, great, they are just as corrupt and wasteful as the MP’s. No change there then.

  45. JT says:

    Ed, OK but who are the Old Bloggers you refer to?

    ED: There are 18 names on Bloggers Birthdays, with (now) noticeable absenteeism – Bill, Tom, Geoff, Barry, Joe, Terry J, Terry S. Plus an analysis of DCLI reveals – Paul Barnes, Archie Vaughan, Fraser Pakes, Archie Forbes, Don Histed, Don Irish, Keith Forbes, Mike Cummings, Jim Kelly, John Goddard, Trevor Webb. Guests: Alison Smith, Michelle Cox (Don Ford), Nick Gillett, Don Anthony,Terese Drew, Steve Billett, another. There are substantially more names to be added from other Blogs and Website Contributors if analysed.

    There are 97 responses to the Afghan Blog, spread over just a few subscribers, which comparative analysis is a quick exercise for any reader. I have not bothered to sift through the remaining blogs.

    I fail to see how this proves/disproves anything, other than to assess that from the many (then) only a core few (now) make contributions – mainly on the General Banter blog that I have shut down.

    If I were a Newspaper Editor/Publisher, which clearly I am not, then ‘subscriber/readership’ would affect my revenue (not applicable), BUT, if only 1 or at best 2 ‘pages’ are being scrutinised, then one needs to ask some questions – which I have done these past coupla weeks.

    The ‘shift’ in readership interest is quite pronounced. Krap wins by a mile and observe please that I can monitor ‘hits/views’ and of course ‘Comments’. As now declared, this site was never, ever offered as a single social banter platform, it was established as a Light Infantry Blog to facilitate a better option to the ‘old’ British Light Infantry Guestbooks (operated by Keith Scudamore), that enabled cross/thread replies of a military nature, and moreover to interface graphic files, URLs and personal photos.

    I personally dislike Twitter, Facebook etc. for the simple reasons of privacy invasion exposure, which is well proven. Neither do I seek that style of intrusion by others, over which I have little management, other than to ‘ban’ a particular offender. The point that I now make is that these Blogs are NOT in competition with the mainstream social banter platforms. Not now, not ever!

  46. JT says:

    Ed

    Sorry my pedantic comment about Afghanistan should have been posted to the appropriate blog.

    ED: JT, I agree that marginally, the referred Comment placed on Afghanistan is better suited to Unbelievable, which is where – now – you have tendered a correction. Seems to me however to be a tad puerile on my part to split hairs, where in fact the content in part embraces ‘Taliban’ and terrorism. I’m not that concerned with such marginal issues. I am – obviously – quite pissed off with the blatant disregard of others – other than yourself – who either through ignorance or carelessness – or both – take these fucking blogs for granted and dump a whole pile of meaningless Krap, that simply occupies bandwidth, shoves more interesting comments aside and worst of all, fail to follow through on comments by others that are worthy of some recognition. General Banter has descended into an Elementary School platform that defeats much of the original purpose in offering a ‘general’ topical base for adult repartee.

    I’m now inclined – after deliberation these past 24 hours to say to Bloggers of Krap – move off to other social sites, such as Twitter and Facebook and waste space and energy there, rather than clutter up the Light Infantry Blogs.

    Fucking hard work on my part and my part only, in establishing initial contact with past new bloggers, snailmailing ’em, encouraging ’em, and moreover endlessly grammatically correcting ill typed, misspelt ungrammatical Comments, has all wound up in Shit Creek, ‘cos those Old Potential Bloggers simply do not wish to partake in Krap at all and clearly have fucked off elsewhere, or shifted gear to the too hard basket.

    I have decided to shut down General Banter and not replace it. All others will remain and social (civilian type) comment can shift over to the Civilian Personal Blogs, if at all. Any abuses will be deleted without apology or concern (on my part) for continuity/thread of topic.

    In all fairness and balance, I have been bellowing, complaining, carping, instructing, beseeching and assisting fellow Bloggers with ideas, options and technical know-how for months now, to little avail. As stated many times before ‘Ole Mate, it ain’t fucking rocket science.

  47. JT says:

    Swanny

    Sitting on an Etonians lap is just asking for trouble.

  48. JT says:

    Jack and Dave

    Does this shooting of own feet remind you of anything ?

  49. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    Couldn’t agree more, talk about shooting your own foot, played right into the Etonian Lap. I will again at this election, which is against my grain, be voting for the Lib Dems. As Jack knows the Tories years ago had a strangle hold on Cornwall, and Labour will never get in in West Cornwall so my vote will be to keep the Tories out.

  50. JT says:

    I see the 3 Labour crooked MPs who have been charged have been granted Legal Aid.

    Brown you are such an asshole. Talk about own goals. Flash Cam naturally was yelling foul today about this.

  51. JT says:

    Swanny

    I am not surprised that they have a snipers. In the old Afghan wars the tribesmen were considered to expert shots and feared for it. They may have lost much of this skill with the advent of the Kalishnikov which is not exactly a long range accurate weapon.

    A favourite until then was the old SMLE .303 which were even copied and made in Pakistani NW tribal areas.

    Afghan hill tribes and family clans for generations happily fought each other for land, loot and blood feuds. They were and are more than happy to combine and fight intruders (foreigners)

    On the subject of snipers did anyone see the Film ‘Enemy at the Gates’ about snipers at the battle of Stalingrad ?

  52. All.
    Now reading about the SAS are on full alert to kill a taliban sniper who has killed seven British soldiers. They are desperately trying to hunt down the master marksman before his terrifying death toll rises further. He is believed to have struck many times in Sangin, Helmand-Afghanistan’s deadliest town. Three of his victims were among the best in their field.

    A senior British Officer who asked to remain anonymous said “our snipers are some of the best trained and capable soldiers we have”. When you lose one it is telling you something.

    The SAS is working alongside the Special Reconnaissance Regiment-the newest special forces unit set up in 2004. The SRR was formed from Britain’s most hush-hush unit 14 Intelligence. Soldiers from 3rd Battalion The Rifles, fear the sniper could only have been trained to such a high standard outside Afghanistan. The only thing to stop these bastards the nuke.

    ED: Swanny. This is a great, but very sad piece of news, on the wrong blog. I’m using this Editorial Addendum to make the point following my long, arduous and (maybe) unpleasant diatribe on Old Grumpy about Blog Discipline. Loath as I am to be critical of you ‘Ole Mate, particularly as you are returning to the Blogs with gusto after your illness, you should have placed this Afghanistan News item on that specific blog. You could also have shared the ‘news item’ from whichever newspaper by cut/pasting the Page URL into your Comment, (as I have now demonstrated as a typical example), rather than your convoluted verbatim dissection of the News Item. Note also that JT in wishing to respond, has been effectively ‘forced’ into Replying – again on the incorrect Blog Page. This is where the ‘problems’ begin.

    I am determined to enforce blog discipline, with sensitive bollockings, but draw the line (now) at doing Bloggers work for you by shifting the Comment to the appropriate Page. Horses for Courses please!

    • Editor in Brisbane says:

      SEE TRANSFERRED REPLY. GO TO THE AFGHANISTAN BLOG
      This by example demonstrates how to ‘Transfer-Reply’ to this wrongly placed Comment by Swanny.

  53. Jack Madron says:

    Isn’t it nice to be British. I got a raise today on my pension. Now, what to do with it? I know. I’ll send it to Gingernut. He must be a bit short after spending £10K in 4 hrs on booze.

    Can’t we hire that guillotine that is on display in Paris? The Sun newspaper is kicking up about the EU offering Greece £20 billion in loans. We’ve been keeping a Greek in luxury for bloody years.

  54. JT says:

    Well what do you know? Some of the sacked Labour and Tory expenses cheats are to be given peerages after all.

    NHS are now allowing female Muslim nurses and doctors to have long sleeves normally banned for hygiene purposes. “Having short sleeves is immodest” Why not the full burka you might ask? Watch this space.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Don’t these long sleeves come under elf and safe t like gold chains and crosses? The patients must refuse to have them near them unless they’re dressed hygienically then let’s see what these bloody managers do then.

  55. JT says:

    Sloop

    Its a bit hush hush at the moment. A blind beggar will deliver a small paper black spot into your hand one night soon. Written in invisible ink will be the location. We are presently trying to recruit a blind beggar but as you know most are on incap benefit and don’t need the money plus flogging Time Out outside Tescos (its the dogs we are sorry for).

    There are also Elf & Safe T considerations. Print out and swallow this message. Thank you in advance for your support.

    PS: There will be a blood oath. Blood pressure OK?

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      Will this messenger arrive in a caravan, and shouldn’t the blind beggar be outside the Admiral Benbow, and aren’t you about to take a ride on the Hispaniola? Should you get in Parliament you’ve no need to go to Treasure Island, just join the rest and plunder the country’s money pot.

  56. JT says:

    Cowards, Liars, Crooks
    Bah

  57. JT says:

    Correction £150 per year. But if say a couple get divorced and the husband remarries he gets the dosh and the ex wife loses it. Doh

    As ‘gay’ marriages are included perhaps they will have to toss up to determine which if the ‘husband’. Clearly they have given this crap a great deal of thought. I have never heard so much cynical bullshit being thrown about by these pollies.

    None of them mention their policy on immigration except Nick Griffin.

  58. JT says:

    Flash Cam has cracked it. Tories will give married couples tax breaks worth – wait for it. £120 per year. Blimey thats 3 quid a week. ‘Get to the Church on Time’ before the rush

  59. Jack Madron says:

    Wingnut’s Missus has broke her leg. Someone from Elf an Safe T going to lose their head for letting that happen.

  60. JT says:

    London Borough of Camden has banned sweets been given to a children’s charity event – might make em fat, or “effect their allergies”

    Elf & Safe T strikes again.

    • Jack Madron says:

      They’re full of sugar but maybe that’s why they are called, ‘sweets’. How about supplying all Pollies with gobstoppers. Think it’ll work ?

  61. JT says:

    Flash Cam changed his clothes 3 times yesterday the posing bastard.

    Jack, there are some thick stupid buggers even in the army.

  62. Jack Madron says:

    Ex SAS soldier shouting his mouth off. Posing with fertface in the Sun. Why pose when face will be blanked out? Now another soldier is shouting his mouth off in the Sun, saying the PM had disrespect for our troops. He was the one who turned his back on Brown. Can’t these prats see they’re being used by Cam the Con’s cronies.

  63. JT says:

    Actually I think he whacked across her legs. She showed us by lifting up her skirt for photos. Nice legs.

  64. JT says:

    Sloop

    Well she did more or less invite him. Perhaps they would prefer rubber baton rounds and tear gas? Water cannon?

    Demonstrate by all means, but stand off when you are told to. Wave your banners and shout all you want. Or should the cops just stand aside?

    In I S drills you fixed bayonets didn’t you ?

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      In IS drill we never fixed bayonets. Most had dustbin lids and pick handles. In our platoon, I was the only one with a rifle. Just in case the riot got out of hand. Looking back, it all seemed very stupid.

      The cop was very brave, don’t you think? After all, he was faced with a small woman carrying a drinks carton and that could have dampened his uniform if it had any drink in it. Bloody thug in blue.

  65. Sloop JB says:

    Everyone

    Beware of people selling goldfish, taken to court fined a thousand and tagged, my god how dangerous. The bloody people running this country have got nothing better to do but harrass decent honest living citizens, better fit they nabbed the real offenders. I also see that the Police Sgt was found not guilty of hitting the lady in the face, well what else could we expect.

  66. JT says:

    Sloop

    They can’t YET, just bring themselves to stop all the pills and dig out those old gas chamber plans confiscated from the Jerries in 1945, or maybe one different kind of pill might do it.

  67. JT says:

    Here we go again

    The LABOUR pollies having had 13 years in office have just decided to have a “commission” to discuss how to pay for care of old people. This commission will take about 5 years to decide what to do. (Commission = Millions paid to Pollies, lawyers, accountants and “consultants”)

    Might be implemented in 10 years we are told. That should see off a few oldies in the meantime

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT. I can’t help but smile to myself, they give us all these pills to keep us going then it turns out they don’t know how to cope with us all.

    • Dave H says:

      The movie Soylent Green comes to mind, problem solved

  68. JT says:

    Elf & Safe T have banned knitting in a hospital because it is dangerous. Its going into hospital that is the dangerous bit.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      If it’s the knitting needles they’re worried about what about all the needles you are injected with, they could be a lot more dangerous, people have died after having the wrong drugs pumped in.

  69. Jack Madron says:

    Two jobs guaranteed. Lawyers and Undertakers.

  70. JT says:

    Sloop and Jack

    Quite right. About time something was done about these maggots the lawyers. Bottom feeders.

  71. Jack Madron says:

    Don’t help small children if they are stuck in trees. You might be accused of trespassing.

    • Sloop JB says:

      Jack

      The school insurance wouldn’t cover the teachers to climb trees, I don’t suppose for one minute any of the staff saw him and made him stop climbing up there, too busy looking the other way.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JB.
        According to the woman who helped to get the child down, he was about six feet up so the teachers didn’t have to climb. The head teacher said they had their eye on the situation. From the classroom?

        Touch of the Nelson’s here. “I see no ships”. What a bunch of prats.

        • Sloop JB says:

          Jack

          I think a lot of what is happening today is due to the Ambulance Chasers, commonsense gone out of the window. Under all the restrictions these people are tied down with they must be afraid to fart without permision.

  72. JT says:

    Rip you really are a dozy bastard

  73. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Zzzzzz.

  74. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Thats my kinda guy

  75. JT says:

    Curtiss LeMay head of US Air Force during the cold war said that with 8000 ICBMs he could reduce the Soviet Union to cinders.

    He asked for 10,000. When asked by a Senator why he would want more considering his previous statement he relied. “Senator, I want to see those cinders dance”

  76. JT says:

    Sloop

    That guys, is a traitor and once upon a time not too long ago he would have been hanged for it. Lord Haw Haw comes to mind.

  77. JT says:

    Police have been forbidden to ask for a persons Christian Names in case it offends other faiths. Also they must remove shoes before entering a home (presumably not everyones home)

    • Jack Madron says:

      What a sight. Plods in their socks. Most names I know aren’t Christian. They’re Hebrew.

  78. JT says:

    Dave

    I mean our state pension is less than £5,000 per year and I bet prices in Canada are generally less for food, heating fuel and petrol (gas). Tax on gasoline in UK is 80% by the way. I wonder if I can find my Landed Immigrant card?

    • Dave H says:

      JT, here Seniors pension is $500 A Month, there is also a Canada pension depending what your earnings were full pension on that would be around $700 a month anyone with a low paying job wouldn’t get that much. Now thats what you would get, if you didn’t have a Company pension and you pay income tax on that lot.

      No use looking up your landed immigrant card, they are no good now better you come here as a refugee. You can claim the IRA are looking for ya. Petrol tax no problem, buy a bike get rid of the bay.

  79. Dave H says:

    JT. I don’t understand what you are saying thinking about your pensions. How much is it in real money. It’s hard to compare when prices are not the same in the UK as here. This is what I don’t understand. Also what if you hadn’t worked for that company all those years. (They pay 80%)

    If you mean I only worked for that company for say 6 years. Well they would still pay 80% but for a shorter time say like 5 years, then after that 5 years you are on your own, like mine is. For life or $15000 and $15,000 for missus, which I sure we will not use that much in our life time, the Company gave me a $16,000 death benefit enough to send me on my way. lol

  80. JT says:

    Dave

    Thinking about your pensions. How much is it in real money? Seems to me you are quite well off by comparison except for the prescription charges. Also what if you hadn’t worked for that company all those years. (They pay 80%)

  81. Jack Madron says:

    JB.
    Be like me and don’t trust any of them.

  82. JT says:

    Wonder if there will be any crumbs thrown at us in the budget.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      I think you’ll find the cupboard is bare.

      I see he has come clean about the finances aloud for the services, after he sat and told the enquiry that everything was above board. How can you trust a man like that, and he is running our country.

  83. Dave H says:

    Just saw on our news. An 80 years old just won $10mill on the lottery, do you think he will be able to spend it all before he falls of his perch? But I bet he has a lot of long lost family now.

  84. JT says:

    Rip

    Dont ask, go back to sleep.

  85. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Wots goin on ? Yawn

  86. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Dave
    Have no fear. If you vote for me and I gain POWER we will have some changes.

    By the way I have a plan for the crooked members house of Lords called Stake and Chips. These are wood chips for burning at the stake gettit?

    What do you think about Erik Blood Axe as Home Secretary ?

    Also I am thinking of a coalition with Ghengis Khan. I know , I know, he is a Muslim and obsessed with making pyramids of skulls but, hey, it takes all sorts innit ?

  87. Dave H says:

    Well Jack we do have MPs who fly all over on government jets at god knows the cost to fly those planes when they could go by nomal airlines. It breaks my heart it does.

  88. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Manifesto

    When I am in charge after May elections I have a special arrangement for MP.s who have fiddled expenses.

    Its called my Rump Stake Treatment

  89. JT says:

    Jack

    What a bloody disgrace. e.g Fergies kids costing £250.000 each for police protection. Plus God knows how many of these spongers are also getting this. Total cost MILLIONS. They can well afford to pay for themselves if they need it.

    But hey lets lets blame the single mothers living in grotty council estates. Lets stop benefits to the unemployed, uneducated benefit cheats who “prefer not to work”. After all they have the chances in life as the privileged kids who go to Eton don’t they? Lets cut pensions?

  90. Jack Madron says:

    Dave.
    Do you have to pay for something you don’t want? 22 members of the Royal Family cost us around £50 million a year for royal protection. That excludes Zara Phillips and the late Princess Margaret’s son and daughter because they are deemed to be commoners not royals. Philips and Armstrong- Jones.

    Laugh, it’s enough to make you weep. Think I’ll emigrate to Mars or vote for Vlad.

  91. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Election Night

    Once I get stakin em I don’t want that Health and Safety lot pestering me. Nor the Human Rights lot.

    When I get going the hills will be alive with the sound of hollering pollies never mind the poxy windmills.

    They done like it up em you know…

  92. JT says:

    Dave

    Thats a lot more than UK pensioner gets but even so the differential between the pensioner to the refugee is huge.

    There will be big trouble one day.

    • Dave H says:

      Maybe these people really do think our streets are paved with gold, and the Government wonder why people cheat on their taxes. Geez

      • Dave H says:

        JT, in the UK pensioners get a lot free, here not so, we pay for everything, oh sorry I get free parking in town, but only in this town.

        • Vlad the Impaler says:

          Dave

          Do you get free prescription medication ? Thats worth a fortune. No way we could afford to live in the US

          • Dave H says:

            As I said we get nowt free. The company I used to work for, pays 80% of my drugs. I pay $120 a month for my doctors and hospital costs to the Government of BC. That $120 is for my Mrs and me. When we lived in Ontario I didn’t pay that $120 it was free and I paid $5 for each prescription which was then refunded by my Company Plan.

  93. Dave H says:

    Canada Pensions

    Only in Canada

    * It is interesting to know that the federal Government of Canada allows:
    A monthly pension of: $1,890.00 to a simple refugee
    plus: $580.00 in social aid
    ==========

    A grand total of : $2,470.00 monthly
    X 12 months
    ==========
    $28,920.00 annual income

    * By comparison, the Old Age Pension of a senior citizen who has contributed to the development of Our Beautiful Big Country during 40 or 50 years, CANNOT receive more than :

    Amount/month $1,012.00 in Old Age Pension and Guaranteed Income Supplement
    X 12 months
    ============
    $12,144.00 annual income

    A difference of: $16,776.00 per year

    * Perhaps our senior citizens should ask for the Status of Refugees instead of applying for Old Age Pension.

    * Let us send this message to as many Canadians as possible, and maybe the allowance of refugee could then be reduced to $1,012.00, and that of our Canadian pensioners raised to $2,470.00 per month, (who actually deserve it). Money that they have been paying in income taxes for 40 or 50 years,

  94. Jack Madron says:

    We’ve got boy racers.
    They’ve got girl’s razors.

  95. JT says:

    Well it was a close shave

  96. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    A bit hairy that story.

  97. JT says:

    State Trooper (Highway Police) in Florida attending an accident in which a car collided with the rear of a stopped truck reported that:

    The woman driver of the car was shaving her bikini line while her ex husband was steering from the passenger seat. In her statement the woman said she was late for a date with her new boyfriend and wanted to be at her best.

  98. JT says:

    Typical

    As soon as a serious political solution arrives (Vlad) you old squaddies take the piss.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      Oakay Oakay I’ll vote for you, but I hope you can see the Woods for the Trees, if not I’ll sleep like a log and wake up in the Grate.

  99. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Oakay

  100. Jack Madron says:

    As Hazel said to Olive. Life’s a Beech.
    Oa K yew lot. Even if it’s Poplar, it’s time to leaf this subject.

  101. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Sloop

    I’ll be really needled if we are

    • Sloop JB says:

      Vlad

      As the big tree said to the sapling ‘I’m rooting for you young one’. Am I a big sap or what.

  102. Sloop JB says:

    Vlad

    Are we barking up the wrong tree

  103. Vlad the Impaler says:

    Jack

    Nah they haven’t twigged up there yet. Thats BNP territory. Bunch of fairies.

  104. Jack Madron says:

    Hey Vlad.
    Have you got a branch in Epping?

  105. JT says:

    NEWS FLASH

    Surprise surprise. The plods have decided not to charge Baroness Uddin the Peer who claimed expenses for a property she never lived in.

    WHY? Well it couldn’t be because she is Asian could it? What’s the betting that Lord Paul another multi millionaire who allegedly claimed residence in a small flat in a hotel he owns and never lived there. Er well he’s Asian isn’t he?

    Hope you are noting all this Vlad.

  106. JT says:

    Vlad

    Well we certainly need some one to spruce things up in Parliament and press points home to MPs

  107. JT says:

    Rip

    About time you woke up you lazy sod.

  108. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Zzzzzzzzzzzz. What? What? What the fuck is going on?

  109. Sloop JB says:

    Vlad

    Are you a splinter group? if so you’ll be a match for the big boys.

    • Vlad the Impaler says:

      Sloop. Just keep logging in laddie. Bet you are pining for a strong leader.

      • Sloop JB says:

        Vlad

        Would you be an Irish Timber Producers looking for T(h)ree Fellers to do some work for you?

  110. Vlad the Impaler says:

    VOTE FOR ME. THERES A LOT AT STAKE.

    Sponsored by Sustainable Timber Producers. (A non profit organisation)

  111. JT says:

    I see the scumbag pollies in Court today for fraud plead not guilty due a 350 year old law protecting Parliament. Why don’t we use a 359 old law to burn em at the stake?

  112. JT says:

    I just cannot stand that smug oily bastard Cameron and little rat Osborne. Might have to look for an Independent candidate.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      When you find one you can really trust let me know and I will vote for him as well.

  113. JT says:

    Thats my problem with New Labour they are promising so much in their election campaign BUT THEY HAVE BEEN IN POWER FOR 3 TERMS so why are we in such a mess ?

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      They have been to busy feathering their own nests instead of doing the job they were voted in to do. I see that Billy no friends has gone to Afghanistan, not to fight mind just to get brownie points.

  114. JT says:

    Sloop

    Dunno. Seems like we are back to the middle ages. Dirt, blood and shit, lazy sluts of nurses, arrogant posing doctors doing their meaningless ward rounds showing off to the the gaggle of students who wander round with them giggling at their childish jokes. Hardly looking at the patients. Its a f…g disgrace.

  115. JT says:

    Here we go again. In my local hospital St Georges (a so called major teaching hospital) a young man has died of thirst due to sheer neglect of those lazy bitches the nurses and the do nothing posing bastards the doctors. How the f…… can this happen in 2010 ?

    SURELY CRIMINAL AND CORPORATE MANSLAUGHTER.

    • Sloop JB says:

      JT

      In our Hospital a bloke went in to have a gall stone removed, he died, what ever is happening in these Hospitals

  116. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    Send it to Parliament just to let them see who they are supposed to represent, I think they have forgotten.

  117. JT says:

    Lest we forget

  118. Sloop JB says:

    Read this cheps. Is this near you JT

  119. JT says:

    Wake up Rip we need you to be our leader.

  120. JT says:

    General Do Nut as Jack calls him now says troops MAY be pulled out in Afghanistan within 5 years. By definition this must also mean that they may NOT be pulled out. So what is the point of these retired Generals constantly making absurd statements?

    This is the Bozo who said he would be Camerons advisor. Then he said he would not be Camerons advisor. Seems a bit Doolali to me but he wore a pretty uniform.

  121. Rip Van Winkle says:

    ZZzz

  122. JT says:

    Oh well it is 21.03 so guess you will all be in bed in your Jamas with your Ovaltine.

    “Bed time” said Zebedee

  123. JT says:

    Just a quickie. Members of the new House must have served in HM Forces

  124. JT says:

    Get rid of the House of Lords immediately. Replace with an Upper House consisting of members who were of the National Service ages. i.e born between 1930 and 1940? This would provide an authority to:

    Overide any and all crappy laws proposed by the pollies in House of Commons

    Right to hire and fire MP’s

    I will continue later as Corrie is about to start. Gotta get the priorities right.

    What do you all think so far?

  125. JT says:

    Swanny

    Are there a lot of Muzzies in Switzerland then ?

  126. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    My son Donald on the phone at lunchtime said the Muslim population want to build a very large mosque right behind The Royal Military Acadamy Sandhurst. Will the Council permit this to happen? Our country is gone mad if this happens.

    Also he was saying Col. Gadhaffi is up in arms as the population of Libya has banned everything Swiss, and wants a jehad against every thing Swiss, bombing, killing etc.

    I hope the Swiss will be against this fully and stand up against these fanatical bastards and the rest of Europe do the same. How much more are we going to take, the EEC should stand up and be counted on this issue.

    SEE NEWS ARTICLE

  127. JT says:

    Morning Sylvia

    It isn’t just the managers either. Many nurses simply do not fit the myth of caring and dedicated professionals. Many are sloppy, dirty, uncaring and frankly cruel. There are always several nurses on a ward and none can avoid seeing the neglect and filth which is there for all to see.

    They ignore the cries of pain and distress of the old patients. They see and clear away uneaten meals day after day from bedsides of patients who cannot feed themselves or reach the food.

    All the above plus the employment of “agency” nurses at £800 per day. (These nurses receive minimum wage). Many are African and cannot understand (or pretend not to) much English, reliably give medication or even make beds properly. When Annie smashed her leg up, (broken in 5 places below the knee) some years ago, she was in hospital for 3 months in traction and I had ample opportunity to observe the situation and talk to the ward sisters and staff nurses.
    This was in a major London teaching hospital and even that left much to be desired.

  128. JT says:

    Todays Mail

    ‘50,000 patients die every year from MALNUTRITION in NHS Hospitals.’

    That plus the other deaths due to neglect and medical error puts them now in a killing league in excess of British Military and Civilian deaths in WW11. This country is seriously down the pan isn’t it?

    Meantime the flood of immigrants increased by 30%.

    I think Labour are now ‘poisoning the wells ‘ knowing they are about to be screwed in May

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I can believe that people die of malutrition in hospitals. I went in East Grinstead Hospital a few years ago for tests but had to stay in over night. I arrived about 4pm and was given a sandwich at about 6pm, as I wasn’t in there early enough to order from the teatime menu. At around 8am the next morning I was given 2 weetabix, at noon I went home, so in 20 hours I wasn’t given enough food to keep an animal alive. The tests I was having didn’t involve ‘nil by mouth’

  129. JT says:

    Who elected Cameron? Well the Tory party did so that’s alright then?

  130. Jack Madron says:

    Brown. Unelected PM. Who took over from Churchill, Thatcher when they resigned? Nobody ever mentions them. You carry on Gord. Bully for you.

  131. JT says:

    If this NHS Trust was a commercial company the Directors and others would be charged with Corporate Manslaughter.

  132. Jack Madron says:

    And if Fertface gets in, the NHS will be worse off still. His lot buggered it up in the first place. NH Trusts. Who trusts them.

  133. JT says:

    This bloody outrage in the Stafford Hospital where “over 500” people have died in 3 years due to neglect. When you begin to add in the admitted 30,000 people who die annually due to surgical and medical error in British hospitals and the often reported thousands of deaths from hospital acquired infections in our hospitals, you get to an attrition rate equal to a major war. (There were 30,000 civilian deaths in London during 6 years of WW11).The NHS manages this every year.

    Why are these criminals, the managers, the doctors and ward sisters not arrested and charged with manslaughter?

    In some countries they would be in prison by now.

  134. JT says:

    VOTE FOR CHANGE

    CHANGE MAGS AND FIRE AT WILL

  135. JT says:

    This deficit could be wiped out without reducing services if all the sheer waste and corruption was stopped.
    Quangos and useless consultancies costing MILLIONS
    Council chiefs earning over £250 K per year
    Tin pot nobodies in Elf and SafeT etc with salaries over £150K to invent garbage laws and petty regulations.
    Payments of millions to support illegal immigrants including giving Somali single mothers 2 million £ houses and paying rent of £1600 per week.

    Also while on a rant GET RID OF THE FUCKING HOUSE OF LORDS
    NO INHERITED TITLES
    NO MORE HONOURS LIST
    NO SIRS
    NO LORDS
    NO DAMES
    NO BARONESSES

    ITS ALL BOLLOCKS AND SMACKS OF PRIVILEGE BRIBERY AND CORRUPTION

  136. JT says:

    There’s only one thing worse in the universe and thats the Tories headed by Thin Lips Cameron and the Smirking Midget Osborne

  137. Editor says:

    THE LATEST NEWS ON THE “ECONOMY”


    “Treasury officials insisted that the Government remained on track to borrow a total of £178 billion, 12.6 per cent of GDP, as forecast by Alistair Darling in the last Pre-Budget Report. However, City experts said the figures showed that the deficit could overtake the 12.7 per cent recorded by Greece.”

    What a fucking joke this British Government is – in the eyes of the planet. Almost equal to Greece. And Wanker Brown is an unelected PM. Unbelievable!

  138. JT says:

    The problem I have with the BNP is that most members knuckles drag on the floor when they walk and they don’t seem to have foreheads. It is most unlikely that they will be any more honest in power that the present scum of the 3 main parties.

  139. Editor in Brisbane says:

    REFERRED BY JT

    MI5 officers diverted from counter-terrorism to fight ‘torture’ court cases

  140. Editor in Brisbane says:

    WHEN A WOG SPILLS YER PINT!

    Take comfort Cheps – when a fucking wog tips yer pint and you abuse him for his bad manners, he’ll now know what to do, rather than chop you with a machete.

    And, here’s another to make yer fucking hair curl!

  141. JT says:

    The Muslim Council in America have issued a Fatwa stating that Muslims will not go through full body scanners at airports. The Yanks have given in. Terrific this means that they will only scan non Muslims. Very effective. Betcha the same will apply here. It’s Human Rights innit?

    • JT says:

      Here we go. Now UK lawyers say Body Scanners may be illegal. “invasion of privacy innit?” One of these days there will be another aircraft blown out of the sky sure as eggs is eggs.

  142. JT says:

    F**king British Judges

  143. JT says:

    Ted

    Do you mean suspenders as in top of ladies stockings or the American usage of the name for men socks? If the former, I suspect that “what might have happened on the wedding night” did happen before he looked behind the face veil. He must have lifted up the garment to see these. I hope you don’t like that sort of thing nowadays even now its legal in the Army.

    He liked the sex but when he later saw your face he with some justification scarpered. By the way its long way from Sudan. I’m not sure the expenses cover Dubai.

    TED BEAR: Well JT, s’like this. “Have burkha will travel” for the Empire ‘n ‘a tha’. These latest burkhas are all frothy, frills and lace, trouble is the hairs on my chest and nether regions get caught up in the velcro. ‘Corse being an Arab, my ‘suitor’ only had experience with camels, donkeys, goats and chickens – so groping my arse only turned him on more. Mind you, had he pushed his luck, he’d have been singing falsetto for the rest of his oily life!

  144. JT says:

    Ted if it was you. What a prat you are. He was bound to notice sometime. Did you go cross eyed when he grabbed your bits on the wedding night? Also you have been warned about being idle and unshaved before.

    • Ted Bear aka Biggus Dickus says:

      Yeah Well JT. Was a sting being set up over a long time to do with credit card fraud. Unfortunately the suspect got horny when he saw a bit of my suspenders under the burkha. Good job that I can bill Kitchener’s Army Account for the annulment. Think of what might have happened on the Wedding Night!

      Got a good line in black goats though!

  145. Jt says:

    Today Daily Mail.

    Arab in Dubai gets his marriage annulled. Bride when revealed had facial hair and was cross eyed. Makes you think when you meet them on the street. Just what is under there? Was this L/Cpl Ted on a special mission we ask?

  146. JT says:

    Hindus in UK have won a court case and they can now burn bodies (expired ones we presume) on open air bonfires. But wot about Elf and Safe T?

    Will onlookers be allowed to have fireworks? Will the Fire Brigade be standing by and will they charge for this service? Its Culture innit ?

  147. JT says:

    I am pleased to see that the great global warming scam is now coming unglued.

    Glaciers are not melting as they have said. Arctic Sea Ice has increased again in 2009. Antarctic not melting. Polar bear population increased not reduced now that hunting is banned in more areas.

    Global warming now proved as not causing violent weather. Sea level not rising alarmingly – e.g high water mark carved in a rock in Tasmania by Capt Cook’s expedition still the same.

    All the computer models for climate have been flawed and or fiddled.

    Note Mr Dole declared that sea levels would rise by 6 feet in years. He then buys a 20 bedroom mansion on the beach in California. He is the first Carbon billionaire

    Hmm. What’s it all about Alfie? MONEY MONEY MONEY

    Trouble is that as the Pollies and Meeja have been beating this warming drum for so long they can’t suddenly switch sides can they ?

  148. JT says:

    Swanny,

    These do gooders as you call them are fantastic. The Civil Liberties lot are now saying that airport security procedures are racist. That full scanners are an invasion of privacy, (on this note I have applied for a position as body scanner operative at Heathrow). Will they let me take the pictures home I wonder? These crazy bastards need a bloody great trerrorist incident to wake them up. I think we will get one soon. Needless to say burkha wearers will probably not be required to be scanned.

  149. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Watched question time on the BBC on Thursday night, and could not believe the do-gooders that were answering the wearing of the burka etc, so many of these people said we live in a free Country and if these people wished they were at liberty to do so.

    The main of the do-gooders were English people, I only wish that some of these should visit the Muslim Countries and then they would understand the laws there compared to ours.

  150. JT says:

    They should also have been re arrested for contempt outside the Court when they were mouthing off for the cameras.

  151. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    In the paper again today all those muslim bastards who went to court would not stand when the judge came in, just imagine if any true Brit did that, they would be jailed for contempt of Court. My biggest beef is that all those accused were all on state benefits.

    As you said in Singapore as in Brunei, you would be deported in 24 hrs, surely this can’t go on for ever in OUR Country. Again my blood boils at the treatment we don’t impose on this bloody lot.

  152. Editor in Brisbane says:

    “ISLAM WILL DOMINATE THE WORLD. FREEDOM CAN GO TO HELL”

    Commonbloodysense at last in Grated Britain with the criminalisation of these hooligans. Next stage – send the fuckers back to where they came from, just like most civilised host countries. In Singapore f’rinstance, they’d get ‘persona non grata’, and shipped out in 24 hours.

    Unravel the fake naturalisation, whether 3 or 4 levels deep, and drop the arseholes off in their proclaimed home country, that they’re so anxious to defend from the safe (?) haven of GB.

  153. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT
    Hear hear JT, Ed, Alf Garnet hit the nail on the head big time as he said it has all come true. When we used to watch Till Death Us Part we all had our reservations but on seeing that video it has come to pass. Most of us have said it over and over again, something is going to happen big time, and it is getting nearer the time. Those scum that went to court for their offence have got off scott free, the BNP have always said what we are all thinking and they have been ostracised for saying what we all think.

  154. JT says:

    I see that the scum who shouted the odds at marching troops in Luton were let off with a telling off in Court yesterday. They were doing it again after the trial shouting their slogans outside the Court. Why were they not re arrested I wonder. Its their Human Rights innit ?

    I smell blood in the future. One or two serious bomb attacks in UK there will be a “Krystall Nacht” and ethnic cleansing mark my words.

    BNP waiting for it. The alleged majority of Muslims who are against the fanatics should really get their act together and kick some ass big time.

    ED: Alf got it right JT!

  155. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Many years ago now a good friend Tom Simmons who served in the DCLI in India before the war told me a story. He said he met an old RFC pilot who was stationed with the RAF. Tom was a Cpl Medic with the DCLI and gave Tom a flight in a two seater Tiger Moth and they flew out, over the mountains of Afghanistan. When they landed to Tom’s delight to land in one piece, he said to Tommy, “you know we have been fighting like lots of other Countries, and have tried but no one has been able to have ever beaten them”. As you say Derek we are still trying to beat them.

  156. Editor in Brisbane says:

    WATCH THIS VIDEO CLIP

    TIMELINE: AFGHAN WAR HISTORY

    2002 estimates place the Afghanistan population at close to 28 million and one must presume that procreation verges on a national pastime. The smiling faces of the innocent children often hide the black heart of a murderous mindset filled with hate for the infidel. This country is a Muslim Republic where peace and purity is allegedly taught from the Koran. Male religious teachers – the Mullahs – teach only boys in the mosques and one can only conclude from the examples preached in Grated Britain by these religious zealots, that murder, mayhem and terrorism is entrenched at an early age. This fucking country has been at war, internally among its many tribes and externally from international interference for over 2,000 years.

    Bush and Blair, now ‘Bama and Brown insist that increasing numbers of young Western soldiers lives be placed in harm’s way to ‘fight the Taliban’. How fucking ironic that the Brits, Yanks and other Western Military are fighting for the very freedom that Islam denies. I say carpet bomb the fucking Taliban strongholds from a great height back to the Stone Age and get the fuck outta Dodge. Let the multi tribal maggots fight their own fucking war! Let’s tidy up our own back yards and rid ourselves of imported garbage that infiltrate our own decent standards – before its all too late!

    View at first hand the shitty Afghan Army Trainee mentality that our British Troops are trying to raise to even a basic standard. Why the fuck are we involved in this crappy war in a crappy country filled with fucking Neanderthals? Quote the young British soldier in the movie clip- they all walk around with guns and ammo bandoliers across their chests – and they can’t follow simple weapons instruction.

    I like this description “Lower in the food chain than organic vermin living inside the assholes of runt maggots eating turds from syphilitic billy goats”. Don’t ask how I really feel.

    This fucking country was invaded by Alexander the Great in 327BC, the Kushan Tribe in 135BC with other tribes, the Arabs in the 7th century who introduced Islam, Genghis Khan in 1219, Russia and Grated Britain in the 19th Century. We lost to the Afghanis after 3 wars then and now we’re back again after the fucking Russians in 1980/89. What a fucking joke! Why – do we want the fucking poppies that they grow? Well – YES! – is the fucking answer, would you believe.

    Read these startling facts about the heroin trafficking from Afghanistan into Britain and the West. Maggots reign – addicts fuel the demand from a country that our soldiers fight to contain. Un-fucking-believable.

    Photographer Collection: David Guttenfelder in Afghanistan

  157. Editor in Brisbane says:

    WATCH THIS VIDEO CLIP

    See how a disabled British Soldier is treated by the Administration of Queen and Country.

  158. JT says:

    Typical Labour. At just the wrong time for them there is yet another attempt by treacherous few to take over leadership from Stumblebum Brown. They don’t give a stuff about the country do they ?

    Camerons Etonions must be wriggling with glee. They are even worse. Thought we were going to get rid of the lot of them. Still waiting for the Met to bring fraud prosecutions I see.

  159. Editor in Brisbane says:

    QUASIMODO BROWN DOES IT AGAIN!

    Send Me! Send Me! British troops need no training while I’m here. (Times cartoon).

    Letter to the Times:

    Frank Spence wrote: 6th January 2010:

    I personally cannot wait to see the back of Brown and his sychophantic cabal, such as Ed Balls, all of whom are incompetent and inept. That said we cannot possibly have another unelected Prime Minister with no mandate foisted on us.

    What I find interesting is the comments of some MP’s (such as Andy Burnham) who in the last hour said this was not constitutional. I thought about that for a few moments, a very few moments, and it became clear that they were NOT talking about the country. No, once again they were talking about the Labour Party Constitution. Not a thought or a mention of what is in the best interest of the country, oh no, Party first at all times with this lot.

    I do not know how many others agree with me but it is my personal opinion that what is best for the country is a General Election at the earliest possible opportunity. Not only is the country in terminal decline with this lot but the situation is even more unstable with the dissent and division clearly splitting the Government. No clear policy, no clear leadership, no clear plan to cut the deficit. Time to go folks.

  160. JT says:

    Why do we rescue dogs from Greece? If you are squeamish do not look at the above link. If you do look then get f**king angry and ask why?

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I watched all the video, I admit I really wanted to turn it off half way through. Let me know what I can do to help stop it.

  161. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED
    Now been reading the BNP article. I was so impressed by what their views are and I couldn’t agree more on what they say. With the caption of the ex service personnel marching, the BNP must have hundreds like us thinking on their lines. Funny our local Liberal MP rang a few months ago talking to Doris on the phone about voting for them at the next election, and I shouted from the background ” I will be voting for the BNP”.

    No comment from him and he heard what I said.

    As I said Derek there must be loads of people thinking like us True Brits.

  162. Editor in Brisbane says:

    IS NICK GRIFFIN THE ONLY BRITISH MP WITH ANY BALLS?

    Check out this BNP release, linked above.

  163. NOSTRADUMUS PROPHECIES See hotlink to Ed’s Name and addendum below.

    2009/2010: These Arab/Muslim extremists will consolidate their power within each of these nations. The leader of Iran and the leader of Iraq, at that time, will have the most power, control, and influence over the other Arab/Muslim nations in the Middle East and northern Africa. They will form one group of nations, led by Iran and Iraq. Then they will begin to threaten the West.

    2010: In the year 2010 A.D., New York City will be struck by a nuclear bomb explosion. The explosion occurs sometime between June 1st and December 31st of 2010, inclusive. This bomb will be an actual nuclear bomb, not merely ‘dirty bomb.’ It will not be sent by a missile. The city will not be totally destroyed, but the effects of the explosion will be devastating. The radioactive fall-out will devastate the surrounding area, particularly New Jersey. The bomb will be sent by the group of Arab/Muslim nations formed during the year 2009, led by Iran and Iraq. This nuclear attack marks the start of World War 3.

    2011: The Arab nations led by Iran and Iraq threaten, attack, and begin to invade Europe.

    ED: Dunno about you lot – but I’m gonna finish my kayak bloody soon!

  164. Jack Madron says:

    Brown takes our money and gives it to other countries. The chinless inbred will take our money and give it to his rich inbreds. Oh for another Cromwell.

  165. JT says:

    Ed

    I think the Copenhagen fiasco says it all. Thousands of delegates, costing many millions. Achievement Fuck All except a stage for Brown. China and India say bollocks we ain’t playing. Russia says it all crap science that has been twisted to fit.

    Brown and EU have landed up in commitments to fund the whole crooked carbon racket. This will totally ruin their economies. The rest of the world are saying bollocks.

  166. Editor in Brisbane says:

    GRATED BRITAIN:

    The only G20 country still in recession! Goodonyer Brownie, all that speakfest and bullshit. Whaddya say now dickhead?

  167. JT says:

    But he will go on benefits. Bet he doesn’t pay those costs.

  168. Rev B Maltravers ex RN says:

    Hello Ed

    Hmm. I just love that. I go every to see the MO every week. Not on the NHS I might add.

  169. JT says:

    Unbelievable

    Apparently there are more full time Generals and Brigadiers in the army than there are Battalions and Regiments

    Most of them have cushy none job’s in MOD. Think we should have a cull?

  170. JT says:

    Spot the RoyaL

  171. JT says:

    Hey watch it, this guy is training to be a helicopter pilot. In only a year he has mastered the windscreen wiper switch.

    Good boy we are proud of you.

  172. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All
    I read in the papers HM has put her foot down. She is not allowing Ginger Nut to go back to Afghanistan, far too dangerous for him to go to war.

    But he’s a soldier. Oh no he isn’t, he is now an airman, or have I got it wrong? No wonder how I didn’t get my Army Education Class One certificate.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Swanny.
      You got it wrong. He’s not army, airforce or navy. He’s just another sponger off the tax payer.

  173. Sloop JB says:

    I see Rip Van Winkle is using his buzz saw again.

  174. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  175. JT says:

    The rest are lies

  176. JT says:

    Bloody Unbelievable ?

    Now they say that a BOTTLE of wine a DAY reduces chance of heart attack by 50%. Downside, it fucks your liver up.

    Take your pick lads and lasses.
    Hic….
    .
    Let us remember that 78.6% of statistics are bollocks

  177. Sloop JB says:

    ED, ALL.

    I suggest we give Alan Johnson and his pen pushing pals each a rifle, five rounds of ammunition, send them to the front line then let them see who is doing the most dangerous job. I’ve heard donkeys fart before haven’t you.

    • JT says:

      Sloop

      Do you mean a rifle like those meccano looking jobs they use nowadays or the old SMLE .303

      Hey, you could give em those S Coy Vickers MMG blanks with the wooden bullets .

      • Sloop JB says:

        JT

        I doubt whether they could hold the rifle still long enough to fire off a round.
        I wouldn’t give them anything, just stick them on the front line.

  178. Editor in Brisbane says:

    DAILY MAIL ONLINE

    Additional article entitled “Poor Bloody Infantry” – forwarded by John Tenniswood, following the earlier expose ‘Performance Bonuses’.

    Fucking sickening!

  179. JT says:

    Hon Member of Parliament

    They bang on and on about “benefit scroungers” highlighting some pathetic half witted mother with 16 kids or some guy on benefits who does a bit of window cleaning in the side. “Outrageous” they bellow as they reshuffle their own expenses claims.

    Prisons containing terrorists are now hotbeds of recruiting with the prison officers apparently assisting by not doing anything about it.

  180. JT says:

    Ed

    There is no end to the PC madness prevailing in this poor Country of ours. No politicians except the BNP have the guts to put an end to it or even complain about it. But why?

    A few headlines like this near election time and BNP will sweep the board.

  181. Editor in Brisbane says:

    TERROR SUSPECTS PAID £600,000 FOR LIVING COSTS

    Here you are ‘Ole Mates, this is where the British Government spends some of your money! ‘Tis like rent-a-thug, only better – they get on average 25K quid each annually!

  182. JT says:

    Jack

    I have no problem with legal immigrants up to a point. But now we have a real danger of overcrowding in this country which is already the most densely populated country in Europe.

    In addition we now have a growing minority of people who have intentions of taking over our government and imposing their own ideals.

    True, when I get on a local crowded bus I am frequently the only white person on it. Is it racist to even mention this ? Doesn’t bother me really, I don’t feel threatened. But I can hardly avoid noticing . The mix is (British)West Indian mostly born here, Asian Indians (there is a large community near by) Somalis (fairly recent), Pakistani.

    Our own personal acquaintances include:
    Local newsagent – Indian (nice family) (Derek met them)
    Local Deli – Malay Chinese married to Brit / Italian. Both have law degrees…
    Local “French”cafe bar – all staff Polish girls
    Next door neighbour – He is Dutch she is German
    Our best friends are Czecks who have been here since the revolution . (Derek met them in June I think)
    We meet their friends who have an Italian deli in West end (been here since they were children.

    I dont know where I am going with this other than to say that we must put a stop to this crazy unlimited immigration, Asylum seekers etc

  183. Jack Madron says:

    Unlike Korea, Malaya, Aden. Kenya, Cyprus. Our troops are all volunteers. No NS. Those poor sods had to go, like it or not. All these places are where we stuck our noses into without being asked. No shouting from the media and others then. Of course, the nobs were the government in those days. I back our boys in everything they have to do, where ever they are.

    Maybe if ALL imigrants went back to their original countries, things might get better. Speaking of imigrants. Norse. Saxon. Roman. Norman. Weren’t they immigrants? Some of my ancestors were imigrants from Normandy long before 1066. Even the Celts were supposedly from the Middle East.

    Lets live and let live or follow MacArthur and blow this bloody world apart. One or the other.

  184. Sloop JB says:

    JT

    I said the very same thing to the man down Museum about learning from history, how many years has this been going on. And how many Nations have tried and then pulled away.

  185. JT says:

    Taking the Queen’s shilling to sign up to the colours in Afghanistan, despite opposing what the British armed forces are up to, would not be a unique situation. Look at the history of Irishmen donning a British army uniform.

    While plummy-voiced officers parrot the government line about the “mission” in Afghanistan in countless TV interviews, the blokes at the sharp end, on leave in Britain, emphasise reliance on their mates and determination not to let them down in battle.

    They, like the rest of us, have had no input into the question of whether to go to war. That decision was made in Washington and rubber-stamped by craven politicians in Westminster.

    As ever, squaddies do what they do best. They grumble about their posting, their equipment, their food and their officers, but they do their job without question.

  186. JT says:

    WILL THEY EVER LEARN ?

    The lesson of history: Afghanistan always beats its invaders.

    Thanks JT, Robert Fisk’s lengthy article (Sept 2001) linked here

  187. Editor in Brisbane says:

    PERFORMANCE BONUSES
    Have you ever heard such fucking mind-boggling crap? What on earth is in the hearts (they’ve got none) and minds (in their fucking jocks) of these fucking idiots?

    Now this fucking wanker Brown wants another 5,000 British Troops sent to Af-fucking-ghanistan. The sooner this arsehole and his entire fucking entourage gets tossed out the better!

    But then what? Another troupe of blood sucking corrupt dickheads with powers far beyond their fucking intelligence. S’about time that military commitments in Grated Britain was delegated to some non-political Committee, made up of experienced older white Anglo Saxons (with WW2, Korea, Vietnam, etc, service mileage) AND some common sense values. Pay a few quid to a few OAPs, with 1st Class rail travel to Whitehall each month, put ’em up in decent accommodation for the weekend, and then see the results we’ll get!

    Let’s face it! The descent into Hell, economically, politically, morally and sensibly in Grated Britain has long commenced. Enoch, how right you were. God help us all!

    PS: Not only Enoch had the intelligence to view the future in 1962, so did MacArthur in 1952. He suggested 6 strategically placed atom bombs in the (then) trouble spots to wipe the fuckers off the face of the earth. What a different place we’d be in then!

    See General Douglas MacArthur’s profile:

    Bollocks to all Politicians! Same here in OZ – I never voted the cretins in here, either!

  188. Jack Madron says:

    If you turned over a stone, what would you find ? A politician. If you turned over a politician, what would you find ? David Slimeball Cameron. You can’t sink any lower than this rat, posing with the poppies.

  189. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz !

  190. Sloop says:

    So why I wonder haven’t M & S sacked the idiot concerned? I wonder what head dress the person (if a woman) wears? Just a thought.

  191. Sloop JB says:

    BLOODY UNBELIEVABLE

    ASDA in the week now M & S, what the hell is going on, I bet they didn’t stop the people wearing Poppies going into the store to spend their money.

  192. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Just woke up for a bit. Not a soul about so gone back to me pit.

  193. JT says:

    They bottled out and did not march.

  194. JT says:

    UK NEWS

    BUCKINGHAM MOSQUE …WHAT FANATICS WANT TO CALL THE PALACE

    Extremists website show how Palace would look with a dome
    Thursday October 29,2009
    By David Pilditch
    A FANATICAL Muslim group campaigning to impose sharia law on Britain wants to turn Buckingham Palace into a mosque, it was revealed last night.
    Days before a potentially incendiary rally in central London, the hardline Islam4UK group claims to have uncovered historical evidence which challenges the right of the Queen to live at the royal property.
    Notorious hate preacher Anjem Choudary is calling for the palace to be renamed Buckingham Masjid, the Arabic word for mosque.
    The Mall, which approaches the palace, would become Masjid Road.
    Choudary, the right-hand man of exiled cleric Sheikh Omar Bakri Mohammed, spoke out as he urged Muslims across Britain to join Saturday’s rally to demand a complete overhaul of the British legal system and the introduction of sharia courts.
    The protest is due to begin at 1pm outside the Houses of Parliament and end at Trafalgar Square, less than a mile from Buckingham Palace, raising concerns over security.
    Last night angry politicians and fellow Muslims condemned Choudary’s comments.
    Tory MP Philip Davies compared Choudary to the leader of the BNP, saying: “This man’s a complete idiot. He’s the Muslim equivalent to Nick Griffin. I’m all for free speech and people having the right to have their say but, equally, there are all these ridiculous laws the Government has introduced about inciting racial hatred. Quite clearly, that’s what he is doing.
    “If these laws are in place, they have to work both ways – they can’t apply to just one group of people.”
    In a rambling diatribe, Choudary wrote on the Islam4UK website: “There is a spark that has ignited and its flame has become unstoppable.

    SEARCH UK NEWS for:

    “In recent years the world has witnessed an Islamic resurgence which continues to grow in strength.
    “We find ourselves in the year 2009, waiting for Rome to fall, waiting for the White House to fall and indeed waiting for Buckingham Palace to fall.”
    Choudary said that under sharia law the Queen’s official residence in London would have a dome fitted and a tannoy system to call followers to prayer.
    The Palace would be used as a judiciary court for handing down sharia punishments and a detention place for “prisoners of war”.
    In addition, the building would become the headquarters of the Islamic States’ supreme leadership and the Department of Information and Culture.
    Choudary also called for the Crown Jewels to be melted down into “more appealing jewellery, free from idolatrous engravings or symbols such as crosses or human beings”.
    Islam4UK’s website shows mock-up images of the Palace as a mosque and the Crown Jewels being melted.
    Choudary added: “At present, Buckingham Palace is nothing more than a hollow building exploited by the rich and withheld from any real use.
    “Under the sharia this would never happen, rather the British community would see it converted into a flourishing mosque which would be of a great benefit, not only for those residing in London but also the country as a whole.”
    The Islam4UK movement is made up of leading members of the banned radical al-Muhajiroun group which was once led by Choudary. Around 15 per cent of people convicted in the UK of terrorism-related offences in the last decade were either members of the group or had links to it.
    The Centre for Social Cohesion last night warned of the dangers of Choudary’s preachings.
    Houriya Ahmed, a researcher for the independent think-tank , said: “I think they are just doing this for publicity.
    “Anjem Choudary is a ridiculous man. But that does not mean his ideology is not dangerous.”
    Muslim leader Abdul Hamid Qureshi, chairman of the Lancashire Council of Mosques, said: “The sad fact is that this organisation is driving the agenda. What they are saying is totally wrong. They are only a small bunch of people. There is no sense in it – it is not Islam.”
    A Scotland Yard spokesman said: “We are discussing the potential demonstrations on October 31.”

  195. JT says:

    Annie saw the movie yesterday. She said it was great. Not my cuppa tea. I remain an Old Codger.

  196. Editor in Brisbane says:

    THIS IS IT – TRULY ‘BLOODY UNBELIEVABLE’ HOTLINK

    Choose “Video” from the Menu and select “Trailers”

    As an “Old Codger” with distinctive views on music of the Pop Variety, Michael Jackson never registered high on my ‘must see/hear’ list – until NOW!

    I’ve used this Bloody Unbelievable blog to register my scorn over cretins and dickheads who populate and demean the planet. I choose now to register my deep appreciation for a true Artist who has left this life too soon. A mistaken and misunderstood young man maybe, but there’s no denying his talent and love for all things.

    Words fail me to describe this memory of Michael Jackson, I’m (now) a convert to his talent, his music, his choreography and his sheer professionalism, and for the accompanying artists in this show. Not to be missed. If, like me, you had prejudices against Michael Jackson, I urge you to put ’em aside and see this great movie. Only showing for 2 weeks!

    Michael Jackson. RIP.

    PS: Jack, some fantastic acoustic guitar playing! Cutting edge stuff!

    • Jack Madron says:

      Michael Jackson was so disappointed in Heaven. He had heard that someone was coming from a Boys Home.

  197. JT says:

    Jack

    James Damocles is a Tory Party member. Tell him to piss orf.

    I reckon he’s a foreigner as well.

  198. Jack Madron says:

    Ed.
    OK, 50/50 on the winnings.

  199. JT says:

    Ed

    Whats it like tomorrow ?

  200. JT says:

    Jack

    Good point. But this guy is sort of “on bail” and due for Court Martial because he refuses to go back to Afghanistan. Why doesn’t he buy himself out? But what he wants is to stay in the army.

    If he gets discharged I bet he goes for “constructive dismissal “and claims compensation. There will be lots of bottom feeder lawyers willing to take up his case. Legal Aid? No problem Sir.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Yea JT.
      You’re right I’m sure. I’m not sticking up for this guy but there’s a lot shouting their mouths off about things and nothing is said. His problem is he’s just a common soldier and not a polli or royalty. In the papers today, Andy airmiles sticking up for his banker pals. More bloody vermin that we keep.

      • Jack Madron says:

        Time and date is out of sync again.

        ED: Jack, this site has been re-set for UTC (same as GMT) from UTC+1. No adjustments are made for Summer Time, Strum my gittar time, Sit on my bum time, Beer Time, Nap Time, Krap Time, Fuck Me it’s time, or Shaft Ed Time (Smile). That places Brisbane 10+ hours on UTC, so for most of the time its tomorrow here! So I’ll check the results at Cheltenham, send you the winners and we’ll share OK?

        Bloody Unbelievable? Sword of Damocles?

  201. JT says:

    Well we go on about freedom of speech but what about this L/Cpl waiting for Court Martial making a speech at Hyde Park Corner as part of the Stop the War crowd. (He is in very dodgy company with that lot). Will he be further charged ? It must be against Queens Regs.

    Once squaddies start making political speeches while still in service is bad news isn’t it?

  202. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Ed

    Hope this will not be the situation when my alarm goes off in 2029. I can’t keep going to kip all the time. I am losing muscle tone.

  203. JT says:

    It has recently been widely reported that at the present rate there will be 10 million immigrants arriving into UK over 10 year bringing the population to unsustainable levels. Most commentators in media are clammering for this to be stopped.

    When Griffin tried to bring up this subject into the Question Time he was howled down by the carefully picked audience as a racist.

    ED: The Nation of the Future. Chocolate coloured poofters on the dole, speaking French and cultivating kids in test tubes, from frozen sperm and embryos from the 20th Century. Fuck it, I’m going for a beer!

  204. JT says:

    Homophobia ?

    So what did Griffin say about homosexuals? He said that seeing 2 men kissing in public was “creepy”. He said that he objected to homosexual sex subjects being taught in Infants schools (or any sex subjects for that matter).

    Is this homophobic? We live near common land in London and in some areas men have sex with each other in broad daylight. Great for parents taking children for a walk ?

    “Cottaging” is now legal so men meet and have sex in public toilets.

    My question is are we homophobic to complain about these disgusting practices ?

    Comments please.

    ED: Homophobic or not! – Fuck ’em – pardon the pun. Politics aside I agree, a blot on the horizon of decency, common physical sense – hello! The Bible states the practice as abhorrent – yet even the priests of all denominations disobey the very (Christian) Manual and now they even condone same sex marriages. Gay Pollies are rampant (Oooh!) and infest the law making platforms that determine what’s acceptable. Bah! Humbug!

  205. JT says:

    Future full of shit indeed. Did anyone see that Question Time on BBC starring Nick Griffin? Bloody disgrace. Public execution set by BBC showing Pollies in their true light. Audience consisting of howling bunch of students, teachers, usual Lefty protest lot, white working class absent of course (they would be still at work), on their way home from work, or unemployed (no money for fares) as programme was filmed at 6pm.

    BNP will have gained many recruits I fear.

  206. Editor in Brisbane says:

    A LESSON IN POLITICS

    One day a son asks his dad, “What can you tell me about politics? I’m supposed to learn about it for school.” The father thinks for a moment and replies, “Well son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy. Let’s say that I’m the capitalist because I make the money. Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, the maid will be the working class because she works for us, you get to be the people because you answer to us, and your baby sister will be the future. Does that make sense?”

    The boy said, “Well, Dad, I’m not sure. I’ll have to sleep on it and let you know.” That night, after the family had gone to bed, the little boy was awakened by his baby sister’s crying. He went to check on her and discovered that she had a dirty diaper. So the boy he went down the hall to his parent’s room and found his dad’s side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn’t wake up. He saw a light on in the guest room down the hall so he went to check it out. When the boy reached the door, he saw through the crack that his dad was in bed with the family’s maid. The boy turned around and went back to bed.

    The next morning, the boy said to his dad at the breakfast table, “Dad, I think I understand politics now.”

    “Excellent, son,” he answered, “What have you learned?” The boy thought for a moment and said, “I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep and ignoring the people, and the future is full of shit!”

  207. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    I did hear that the natives there were revolting.

  208. JT says:

    Dave

    Article Kamloops Daily News

    I read that the Lakota Sioux are on the warpath. Its those dodgy Chinese Christmas Tree decorations things you’ve been trading with telling em they were whitemans magic. They want those faux scalps back.
    Also they figure that the Great White father does not live in Ottawa. It was on TV.

    • DAve H says:

      JT WHAT on earth are you rambeling about now , There is no Native uprising here You must have been dreaming , dont eat before you go to bed , ok

  209. Sloop JB says:

    Morning All
    My last comment on the blog was done with tongue in cheek, but I’m glad it gave you something to reply to. As I said before I’m with you guys all the way, every comment you make about everyday things could be coming from my own mouth. By the way it’s a good job we have these machines to contact each other, with the mail all over the place, writing letters would be rather long winded.

  210. Dave H says:

    Hey Rip , dont sleep that long , You will get Backup real bad ,

    • Rip Van Winkle says:

      Dave

      Wots a backup.
      Quick I’m just dozin off. Me alarms set for 2029.
      (and the Teasmade)

      • DAve H says:

        Hey Rip , a Back up is when your sperm bag gets too full and it comes out your ears , Sylvia not to worry you dont have one so you are ok ,

  211. Rip Van Winkle says:

    Fuck this lot I’m going back to kip for another 20 years.

  212. JT says:

    Dave

    Sorry reply is above your comment. Confusing innit ?

  213. JT says:

    Dave

    You are a star. Wot sort of things ?

  214. Dave H says:

    JB , I thought charity begins at home ,, Well i do give my unwanted things to the Sally Ann , dose that make me a good guy ?

    • Jack Madron says:

      Dave.
      You’re a true machine gunner so you must be a good guy.
      You have unwanted things ?

  215. Sloop JB says:

    JT
    Because we’re so flush our illustrious government thinks it’s right to share our vast wealth all around the world, remember the old adage (It is better to give than receive). Maybe one day they will remember us the British People and give us something as well, but don’t hold your breath.

    • JT says:

      Sloop

      Don’t know about that. Think that is just for de rich folk ? It must be me age, I think I prefer receiving nowadays.

      Course Saint Dave gives stuff to the Sally Army. He gets it from the redskins you know.
      Beads and mirrors and stuff.

      • JT says:

        Scene from Sally Army charity shop in Dog Patch BC

        ” Quick Martha, close the curtains and lock the door. That looney Limey is coming with more bags of stuff.”

  216. JT says:

    OVERSEAS AID
    Would some one please tell me why this country sends for example

    £40 million a year to China
    £275 million to India
    £35 million to Uganda (president just bought another Gulf Stream Jet)

    This is just a small sample WHY WHY WHY

    • Jack Madron says:

      That’s not all JT. Don’t forget the richest woman in Britain. £30 million put aside for upkeep of palaces etc. Our f…ing money. Of course, they could stop old age pensions and have a few more bob to give away.

  217. JT says:

    Ed

    I reckon Mr Creosote is about the same size and 70 stone.

  218. Editor says:

    ALL ON THE NHS

    Take a look at this pathetic fat load of shit! What the British Taxpayer gets for his money, plus Gordon Brown for good measure!

    This fucking waster weighs more than my Missus, myself, my son and my daughter, son in law and all 4 grandkids put together. That’s 5 adults and 4 children. Unbelievable!

    SHIT! IT’S MR CREOSOTE: Play the full clip for a good belly laugh!

  219. Dave H says:

    I like that Derek , the f, off we are full

  220. JT says:

    Whatever bunch of crooks wins the General Election should suspend ALL asylum commitments and uninvited immigrants .

    The Human Rights laws have been hijacked by lawyers who are making a fortune.

  221. JT says:

    Plane of rejected Iraqi failed asylum seekers plus 80 security escort sent to Iraq.

    Iraqis rejected some and they had to be returned to UK.

    Could they have booted the lot off and taken off ?

    Now we are stuck with them

  222. Dave H says:

    ED on the news tonite , they found that each of them paid 45000 $ each for the trip , now where in hell did they get that kind of money ? Geeez i worked here for 40 od years and i get a measly little pension , i have to pay my own medical insurance own dental , and have to pay a deductable of $1500 of the drugs i take if my MRS hadnt put her pay each week into a pension plan , we would be up shit creek ,

    • JT says:

      Dave

      Where do they get the money ?
      In some case they collect small amounts from extended families so that they can get work in the West and send money home to keep those families. Even benefits they get them and exploit them are a fortune in their own countries.

      In some cases they borrow money from gangs who then if they get to the West, apply huge interest to the loans and keep them in debt permanently and take most of their wages, their family back in their country being hostages for the loan.

      Ok cant blame the poor buggers, but we just cannot sustain this. Its is going to lead to trouble.

      Our so called immigration service are a joke but are hampered by the crack pot Human Right laws

  223. Dave H says:

    A boat entered Canadian waters and looky what was on board. Ross believes the newcomers are Sri Lankan Tamils based on the pictures he’s seen in the media and the fact that another boat-load of Sri Lankans was intercepted outside Indonesia en route to Australia last week. The wooden cargo boat carrying more than 250 Sri Lankans was stopped in Indonesian waters on Oct. 11.

    Ross said he would like the government to open its doors to the newcomers as the Mulroney government did in the 1980s, when a boatload of Sri Lankan asylum-seekers showed up on the coast of Newfoundland.

    Ross, who has worked on the ground in Sri Lanka, said the newcomers are likely asylum seekers who used the black market to gain passage on the ship.”They put their hope on this nation and I hope the nation responds in a positive way for them,” he said.

    Now this lot will get free everything from housing to medical which I myself have to pay for, pisses me off. I think Canada should send them on their way to OZ, we have quite enough, thousands to be exact.

    • Editor says:

      IT’S TIME TO END THIS ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION TO THE WEST

      No doubt, we all have opinions as to when, where and how these poor buggers are managed. No Western Economy desires to see a bunch of freeloading, illegal migrants of any colour or creed, abused by their handlers and bypassing the front door. There is a finite limit to the cash handouts, the medical handling of disease and the disabilities, the accommodation rosters that any of us can sustain indefinitely.

      Because of the OZ Rudd’s Government reversal of the 2 year wait portal for Social Service benefits, we have seen an escalation of a 40% increase in 2 years over and above the national projections – an extra AUD$700 million annually. We have a Navy that acts in a humanitarian role to ensure safety for these ‘boat people’ when they travel from Indonesia across the Timor Sea, yet because of terrorist behaviour are reluctant to get involved.

      Regular Aussies, who like the Canucks and the Poms, have paid taxes and voted over the years to build a safe haven for each respective Nation, with health systems, schools, welfare support, and have, in my opinion, a right to expect effective, sensible protection from illegal entry, we should I believe empower our border authorities to immediately export ALL ‘illegals’ to the last port of departure, by International Accord. No processing, no delays, no freeloading – just ship ’em back with an invitation to follow the correct procedures. Then let the ‘host’ country of departure sort out the problem. If their laws and control are so slack as to permit people smuggling, then let them wear the consequences.

      The current ‘passage’ from Sri Lanka to Indonesia is alleged to be US$8,000, so with that sort of cash in the bank (in Sri Lanka), one might ask the question as to why the need to be smuggled.

      I note also that not one of these Asian boats heads for Iran, or Algeria, or India, or Pakistan, or Egypt, or China, or Japan, or Afghanistan. “Let’s pick on Whitey, he’s a soft touch!”

      I refer to my proposed Border Signage at the page header. “Fuck Off! we’re full”

      PS: What really gives me the shits however, is that almost without exception, these ‘refugees’ with their archaic religions and beliefs, disgusting attitudes towards women in particular, and unhygienic practices, and parasitical dependency on aging Western populations, avoid the adoption of the new host country’s ways. These misbegotten people quickly import their beliefs into the ‘new’ society and change and ignore the orderly way of life and generally create mayhem. Look at Grated Britain now – after years of patronage and generosity – a morally corrupt segment of newcomers inserting foreign religions, home grown terrorism and languages – all in the expectation of the very freedom that they rebel against. Moreover the very law of the Mother Country that we all contributed to in some way – protects the fuckers!

  224. Jt says:

    Dave

    How long will it take to boil an egg on top of Mount Everest ?

    • Jack Madron says:

      All depends on how long it takes to get to the top without breaking aformentioned egg.
      Don’ t forget the matches.

    • Dave H says:

      JT , the water would not boil at the top of everest , The pressure Temperature Difference compared to Sea Level , it was a trick question on our Steam Exam,

  225. Dave H says:

    JT its like saying How long will it take to boil an egg on top of Mount Everest

  226. Jt says:

    Most days we can read in the Meeja daily at least three or four totally conflicting reports:

    Recessions is coming to and end
    Recession likely to be prolonged

    Antarctic Ice shelf is melting
    Antarctic Ice shelf not melting

    Only 5000 Polar Bears left ; becoming extinct
    Polar bears increased by 27,000 in last 10 years

    CO2 is causing global warming
    No it isn’t it slows down global warming

    We are heading into Ice age (10 years ago)
    We are heading into massive global warming

    North East Passage (over Russian arctic sea sailed by 2 ships first for 3000 years
    Er No it was regularly used in WW11 and before

    When Ice melts seas will rise by 100m
    No due to it wont rise at all by ice melt

    Fucking Meeja. Any old crap for headlines

  227. Jt says:

    Derek

    Tough life out there. Why don’t you apply for asylum in UK ?

  228. Editor in Brisbane says:

    HO! HUM!

    Just another bloody day at the beach, beats working though!

    PS: All fishermen are liars, except thee and I and I ain’t so sure about thee!

  229. Jt says:

    Dave

    I am the Night Watcher. Never get stickman

  230. Dave H says:

    Yes we could JT now get back to Bed , The MRS will think you have buggered off

  231. JT says:

    Dave

    You could build a 30 ft wall around Dog Patch and declare independence.

    ED: ‘Allo, ‘Allo, who’s up early then?

  232. Dave H says:

    Jack i would like to build a 20 ft wall on the border and the same around that French Province , you know the one , this goverment sucks big time , just like yours , i see on our news tonight that you Prime minister has to pay back some mony he claimed as expences for the gardener and cleaners , , Looks good on him , WAYtogo

  233. Dave H says:

    Gas prices fall below $2.50 a gallon
    This me lads is in the US OF A. We are paying about $ 3.60 Now a lot of the oil that makes this gas comes from Canada, so you know who controls the prices. Don’t we?

    ED: Ferk me Dave, we in OZ pay AUD$1.18 per litre, that’s AUD$5.50 per gallon equivalent, which on today’s value is USD$4.80

    • Jack Madron says:

      Simple remedy Dave. Get a herd of moose to run into the pipeline.

      • Dave H says:

        Jack Moose dont heard , but Mountain Goats do , but they are not worth a shit

        • Jack Madron says:

          Dave.
          Never been introduced to a moose so I wouldn’t know about what you call a lot of them. A mouse is mice so would moose be meece? JT is bound to answer this for us.

    • Dave H says:

      ED OZ like this country has gone TAX Mad , Canada has oil just up the road from me is a bloody big hole in the ground where they are digging the shit out , now most of this oil when it has been refined is shipped to the USA for the us dollar the same goes for the Natural Gas , what is left over is for us here and taxed to the hilt , they have now hit us with an energy tax , what they call a cabon tax its paid on the gas for your car , and whatever you use to heat your home be it elecric or otherwise its on your monthly bill , I think i will go out and chop some wood , Bastards will probably tax that , OOPS Just remembered they do tax it , as some people have these wood pellet heater , ( Stoves )

  234. JT says:

    NOBEL PRIZE

    Yasser Arafat was a previous winner plus several other dodgy characters. Obama should have turned it down.

    ED: Agreed JT, what a show of integrity that would have been. Big backfires looming I feel!

  235. JT says:

    Jack

    My skivvy can’t either and I am not much cop at it. Course a battery now and then might help.

  236. Jack Madron says:

    Phil the Greek is in a quandary. His skivvy can’t work the remote control.
    Oh diddums.

  237. JT says:

    Charity justgiving.com (supporting wounded soldiers but mostly themselves) made £2.5 Million PROFIT last year. They pay their 57 employees an average of £68,000 each. The boss gets £120,000 plus bonus. They are hoping to “go public” soon which will make their founders millionaires overnight. Charity begins at home you see.

  238. JT says:

    LOONEYLAND

    Fire Fighter is also safety officer at his fire station. He is not allowed to use a small step ladder to change light bulbs.

    Its Elf & Safe T innit ?

    He regularly goes up 40 foot ladders when training or at real incidents

  239. Jt says:

    LOONEYLAND

    Muslim canteen cook working for Met Police refused to cook or serve breakfasts containing bacon, pork sausages etc. resigned and gets an award from Employment Tribunal for Constructive dismissal.

  240. JT says:

    LOONEYLAND

    Some Muslim checkout staff at supermarkets now refuse to check out alcoholic drinks and call a manager to do so.

    Its against their “human rights innit ?”

    ED: Can Catholic check out chicks refuse to check out groceries with condoms in ’em?

  241. JT says:

    LOONEYLAND

    Supermarket checkout fool refuses to sell 2 bottles of wine to a mother of 0ver 50 because she was accompanied by her daughters of 17 and 18 ” in case she was buying alcohol for them”. The wine was with basket of groceries.

    “Its against the rules innit ?

    ED: Would condoms have been OK?

  242. Jt says:

    Ed

    I reckon the Nobel thing is way past its sell by date anyhow.

  243. Editor in Brisbane says:

    SO WHAT’S THIS BLOKE ACTUALLY DONE?

    (Quote) On 27 November 1895, Alfred Nobel signed his last will and testament, giving the largest share of his fortune to a series of prizes, the Nobel Prizes. As described in Nobel’s will, one part was dedicated to “the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses”. (Endquote)

    Unbelievable! in my view. Presides over a fucking crippling unwinnable war – in Afghanistan, with a major increase of troops and Iraq still unsettled and maybe Iran just around the corner. Ali fucking Baba still on the loose and the terrorist Mossies infiltrating our Western portals each and every day.

    Presides over an economic regime that is both gutless and ineffectual so far as corporate rip-offs are concerned. Wins the Nobel Peace Prize. You’ve gotta be joking!

    God (sic) save us from Politicians and the snivelling courtiers who suck up to ’em. Where are the statesmen when you you need ’em – like coppers – too few, too late, no balls.

    (Quote) “If none of the works under consideration is found to be of the importance indicated in the first paragraph, the prize money shall be reserved until the following year. If, even then, the prize cannot be awarded, the amount shall be added to the Foundation’s restricted funds.” During World War I and II, no prizes were awarded. (Endquote)

    Quote Los Angeles Times

    “The Nobel committee didn’t just embarrass Obama, it diminished the credibility of the prize itself.”

    • Dave H says:

      I think our leader should have got it for that speach , Live Long and Prosper Oh Great one

  244. JT says:

    Jack

    I bet the current Army chiefs are really chuffed that Donut now works for the Tories. “Pissing into their tent from outside?”

  245. JT says:

    Conference report

  246. JT says:

    Jack
    Get that MMG out

  247. JT says:

    Jack

    As in Donut forsake me ?

  248. Jack Madron says:

    We’re all going to be OK.
    Gen Sir Donut is joining up with Fertface.

  249. Editor says:

    GUARDIAN. UK ARTICLE ABOUT CALIFORNIA

    JT has alerted me to the parlous economical state of California’s finances. Worth a browse – check the 2nd photo at page header – linked to Guardian article. Frightening stuff happening to the world’s 8th largest economy – seemingly out of control. Can these lessons teach the British and the Aussie pollies anything? – I fear not – just keep spending, like there’s no tomorrow brudda!

    • Dave H says:

      Who gives a shit about Califoria, its ready to fall into the ocean soon , anyone in there right mind would move out ASP , they must be all good swimmers that live there

  250. JT says:

    Cameron tomorrow. We hear he banned champagne at the conference in case we peasants got the “wrong” impression. But he and cronies were spotted last night privately drinking bubbly at £140 a bottle.

    Today his wife was wearing jeans, “try to look ordinary darling” Wonder she didn’t get a temporary tattoo round her neck; barbed wire maybe ? “Look like a chav dear”

  251. JT says:

    Having been wakened from my friggin nap twice by those BASTARDS who phone at least 3 times every day asking me if I want a loan etc or free holiday and want me to phone back (on a number which charges money per minute while they keep you on hold). I wish I could trace these calls back to a number and find the call center and go there and throw in in a can of petrol followed by a match. (White Phos grenade would be better but they are hard to get from Boots)

    Bah

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      If you google ‘telephone preferance service’ you can put your phone number in and within a week or two you won’t get any more calls. It’s an offical site so theres no worries attached to putting your number on it.

      Will you please calm down, you are worrying Annie. Although all of the above are disgusting, you will blow a gasket if you keep on.

  252. JT says:

    Watch out for Georgy at the end.

  253. JT says:

    Annie says I am going all red again. Time for a nap

  254. JT says:

    Foaming still

    Today we had Grayling, a bottom feeder. Yesterday we had Osbourne a bottom FEELER (Eton) telling us the great plans for “the ordinary people” (lower class scum)

    This oily little creep represents a party that voted against the winter fuel allowance for pensioners/

    Voted against inflation proof pensions with a minimum 2% annual increase. Voted against a minimum wage

    We are all in this together he said (7 times) yesterday.

    “But some people are more equal then others?”

    But we must get the benefit claimants back to work i.e We have to screw the poor coz its our nature innit ?

    “In the good old days old boy the jolly old ancesters had children of 5 worked 14 hour shifts in the mines and mills until the meddling socialists objected.”

    This man also claimed dodgy expenses.

    Bah

  255. JT says:

    DAILY RANT

    A Grayling is a bottom feeding fish. Today the bottom feeding Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling made his speech at the Tory Conference.

    Just one bright idea. He will stop binge drinking by putting up the price of a 4 pack of strong lager by £1.25. Wow, that should do it (31p per can ?). Stop ’em dead wont it? Bloody draconian innit ?

    This plus more rubbish was from a man who was nominated as one of the worst expenses fraudsters in the expenses scandal which the pollies have all put to one side relying of course on the amnesia of great educated British public going back to concentrating on
    X Factor
    East Enders
    Strictly come Dancing
    Jeremy Kyle show
    and of course Footie

    PS: What happened on Corrie on Monday? I missed it.

    Bah

  256. Sloop JB says:

    I’d rather march over a bridge and Break Step than go on a stage and Break a Leg.

  257. JT says:

    Dave

    This is usually a rant blog but we get led astray. But once the thread is broken people go to another blog. Like “Change Step” “leftrightleft” or was it “Break Step”

    At each end of the Albert Bridge in London there is a little notice “marching Troops Break Step” from Victorian days to stop the bridge oscillating? because of the regular rythmn of marching in step.

    ED: Thanks JT for reminding the bloggers about discipline. Your ‘break step’ reference also applied on the Clifton Suspension Bridge for the same reasons.

  258. Dave H says:

    What are you lot doing on this blog , GET BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG , You are even leading Sylvia astray

  259. JT says:

    As in Lock Stock and Barrel

  260. JT says:

    Jack

    Bloody typical of the MMG lot those riflemen might say. “Never ready when needed”.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      We know how to use a rifle as well.
      I bet the lock was hidden by a rifle coy bod.

  261. JT says:

    I am a blog hog.

  262. JT says:

    OK OK so I am hogging this blog. Might go to Hyde Park Corner on Sunday with megaphone.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      There are always going to be people that know how to work the benefits system, most of them illegal immigrants. With the money we, as a country, shovel into their forever open hands, we could put that in to the small businesses that are going bust and create more jobs.

  263. JT says:

    There are of course a good number of claimants who do work the system and also moonlight for cash jobs.

    Apart from Members of Parliament I mean.

    Talk about reforming the benefit system. The rich also get child allowance and winter fuel allowance if over 60 , free bus passes , grants with making their houses fuel efficient etc.

    They bank it and love it and its a f………g disgrace.

  264. JT says:

    The new rich.

    Tracey Emin that con “artist” who sells her stuff like an unmade bed and dirty knickers to rich fools has decided to live abroad to avoid the additional 10% tax on her earnings over £120,000. She is a multi millionaire.

    The “celebs”who make their money from their fans such as Pop stars, Sean Connery & co overseas rather than pay their share and support our country.

    Simon Cowell has a birthday party costing over £1 Million. (no tax in UK) Guest are the very very rich.Celebs, crooks, bankers and hangers on.

    The stately homes and estates are being bought by the celeb lot who are the new “Gentry”

    The bankers threaten to live abroad to avoid tax on their obscene bonuses which they have started again.

    But in both political parties the main agenda is to hammer the benefit claimants. Many born into hopeless environments, crap parents, have no education, no hope of improvement.

    Not exactly a level playing field is it ?

    The well fed fat cats say they will stop all benefits for many poor bastards……then what ? back to the workhouse system ? Gas chambers ?

  265. JT says:

    DEMOCRACY

    I have opened this heading so I can rant under and so hope you Meldrews will join me.

  266. JT says:

    Now The Tories have their conference. Both sides are trying to divert attention from their own greedy scams and hammering the poor.

    “Get em back to work”. Er where are the jobs? we are heading for 3 million unemployed. All this hatred directed to the so called “idle” while the scum on top of the pile cheat, avoid tax grab obscene bonuses.

  267. JT says:

    Going back to the Sikh copper. He got £10,000 compensation and he can now wear his turban when on anti riot duty.

    Course if he gets a bang on the head he will then claim more big bucks compensation. “Elf & Safe T innit. ”

    Course if his bosses prevent him from attending riot duty he will claim its race discrimination and against his Human Rights.

  268. Jack Madron says:

    Robber in gaelic is TORY.

  269. JT says:

    Dave

    Bastards, they are setting up their hidaways for when the world gets really fucked up.

    Think I might get my Para (noid) wings this year ?

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT. there is an answer but shooting is against the law. I think you’re wrong about fertface and his cronies and their parties. I bet they don’t even think about us. Inbred bastards.

  270. Dave H utchinson says:

    Right on JT Geeeez It must be one of those guys that is building a home not too far from here in the mountains , its costing millions and is only going to be used by the owner for about 4 weeks in the year but by all accounts there are quite a few people from the UK doing the same thing , it frosts my asss ,

  271. JT says:

    Rant

    As you know I share with most of you a general mistrust and dislike of pollies. But I think that the Sun Newspaper announcing on the day of Browns big speech is bloody disgraceful. The Sun newspaper is owned by that crook Murdock the Ossi spiv. His only agenda is to sell newspapers and make money. So he backs (because he senses that Labour is fucked) the Conservatives i.e Cameron & co. who never had to worry about money in their pampered lives.

    Cameron. ALL his shadow cabinet are millionaires and most went to Eton. So they know fuck all or care less about the “lower classes“ as I suppose they call us at their dinner parties with their friends.

    Regardless of the political party (if any) supported, I believe that the media are to a large extent guilty of talking this country into recession particularly the property market. This added to the global near financial melt down caused by the crooks who run the banks in America and UK .

    Trouble is our pollies were so interested in their own little scams they just had no idea or understanding what was going on. Every day for past 2 years we were bombarded with bad news by the meeja.

    So can we now look forward to Cameron, creep Osborne and co ruling us?

    I am running out of rant for today but happily learn that the most read book in UK at present is another book by Jordon (Katie Price ?)

    Geeze! as Dave would say.

  272. JT says:

    I have a rant coming on. Watch this space ’til I stop foaming and biting the carpet.

  273. Editor says:

    9/11 A DAY OF SORROW

    Just in from JT. Let us never forget what these bastards are capable of.

    I’ll also post to header section of blog.

    PS: Requires a Google Gmail Account to view

  274. Dave H says:

    Will send some pictures when we get a good dump of it Derek, but I’m hoping its not soon, as they are saying we are getting the El Nino this year, which I hope as it will save me a few $$$ on the heating bill.

    ED: Thanks Dave. The only real snow that I can remember is in Scotland in ’65, when I played golf in the winter with a red ball and chopped a hole in the ice to go fishing for pike.

  275. Dave H says:

    Wow Derek , took me all afternoon to digest all that and missed my coffee break , but as with the e-mail you sent me i get the drift of it all , Talking of Drifts there soon will be white ones here but im tuff i can take it , but wish i was like the bears here ,, go to sleep for the Winter ,

    ED: Good stuff DH, all worth the effort. Send us some photos of the real white stuff you get there.

  276. Dave H says:

    Well i suppose this comes under this Blog , I am in the Forces Reunited , and just looked in there ,( Im Gob Smacked ,) I see about 10 DCLI are in there Names are there , Now if they can join there why in hell arnt they in here , Something stinks here , Look in there guys see if you know any of them ,

    ED: I’m not all unhappy that you are using this blog. DCLI is down at the moment anyway, which is about the only other location applicable. Big hugs DH.

    ED: DH, got your detailed email and must say (initially) that I’m well aware of that platform and in fact am a member, without ever having responded, so I’m not really qualified to make further comment. What I will say however is that FR has become very aggressive (in my experience) in ‘pushing’ membership, and the referral has to start somewhere. I’m not sure if its totally free of charge!

    On another note, and in fact where Jack ‘discovered’ you, is the BLI website and its Guestbooks, which is driven by Keith Scudamore in Bournemouth. As you probably know it offers a wider messaging and comment register for most older LI Regiments, although has been somewhat curtailed lately. Few 1DCLI cheps use that facility and if so are also recorded somewhere on OUR blog photos, if not an occasional subscriber. On that note, I AM qualified to make comment as for 3 years I’ve monitored all BLI messages for spam and have seen the spread of entries, and have not been all that impressed with either the quality of DCLI banter or names that cover the Caribbean era.

    Anyway, thanks for your emailed details, I’ll check ’em out.

    PS: Remember too, that effectively, we’re a pretty ‘exclusive’ bunch in that we really only focus on 1952 – 1957, and mainly the Caribbean posting. As Editor I receive 100s of emails monthly from relatives of older DCLI (WW1 – late 1940’s) seeking service details and photos etc, for which of course I’m unable to assist. Same for the HMT site. I really only have interest in the Empire Clyde.

    • JT says:

      I have also found Forces United a pain in the ass, ditto Friends United.

    • Editor in Brisbane says:

      EDITORIAL IMMUNITY OVER THIS THREAD

      Dave, as stated – OK to use this blog for this topic, now that we’ve started. However, I ain’t about to dignify FR or any other blog system by comparison to WordPress. There is just no other game in town!

      Of the many names you supplied from Forces Re-United:-

      Firstly, I observe – no photos, but that may/may not be relevant as an example.

      Secondly, Dunbar, Farrant, Goddard (Qld Gold Coast) Trevor Hosking, Reg Mitchell, John Rutter RIP are ALL known to me, having made text or image contributions across my sites. T’others no idea.

      What I can say is that John Goddard is not a prolific writer of anything. I ghosted his Memoirs which he drafted. John Rutter’s son Tristan has promised! Reg Mitchell and Trevor Hosking sent photos for “A” Company web site 2 years ago. Dunbar and Farrant have written to the HMT site.

      From that FR sampling, I’d say that there’s no more to expect – so far as we are concerned, and to echo JT, they’re a pita and I know for a fact that ‘language’ is spammed out! Anyway, so what? Where’s the best place to open a new Chinese Laundry? (Next to the existing one).

      PS: Just to add some gobbledegook that might be of interest. WordPress is in my opinion, the state of the art best blog system. Today accepting 236,724 individual blogger messages, 223,470 new postings and 54.3 million words written. As ‘owner’ of all the LI Most Wanted URLs, I can for no charge select from hundreds of permutations of layouts, columns, sidebars, widgets, RSS feeds, live video feeds. Customised graphics and auto HTML and much much more. If I wish to pay a modest fee, I can shift higher up the options scale. There is no way that I would even countenance a switch and risk having the lot gobbled up by some unscrupulous entrepreneur.

      PPS: (Quote) WordPress is more than just software; it is a community, a rapidly expanding ecosystem, and a set of philosophies and opinions about how to create the best Web experience. When you embrace it, you’ll be in good company. WordPress users include old media organisations such as CNN, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal, along with millions of personal bloggers like myself for whom WordPress is a means of expression (Endquote). Matt Mullenweg.

  277. Sloop JB says:

    I wouldn’t like to play snap with him, the bloody cards would be all over the place when he dealt, shoot!!

  278. JT says:

    Col Ghaddy

    His entourage tried to erect his tent in a rather up market area in New York. Locals complain say it is too down market.

    This man is a gem.

  279. JT says:

    Ed

    Brilliant clip. What a character. What a nut case and Grated Britain has SAS training his Army and Northern Ireland police training his cops. This is Gordons new pal.

  280. Editor says:

    TAKE TIME TO VIEW THIS MAD HATTER

    CNN video linked to Subscriber’s Name. Capital Heading embolded.

  281. JT says:

    Ed

    Wow, that’s some kayak. Sure you got the correct plans? No wonder it’s taking so long.

    ED: Do you mean SS Great Britain?

  282. JT says:

    Little bit from the news.

    The fucking CBI have produced a list of ways to reduce public expenditure, some examples.
    Stop paying winter fuel allowance to pensioners:
    Pensioners no longer to get free TV license when they are over 70:
    Stop free bus passes:
    Stop the inflation proof guarantee for state pensions

    How long until compulsory free one way trip to Switzerland? Think we had better get organised?

  283. Sloop JB says:

    ED.
    Comment
    The Soldier is definitely right. The British People who are worth anything has been expressing these views for a long time now, but as we all know the Government do not intend to do anything at all about it.

  284. Sloop JB says:

    Hi JT,
    Welcome back, hope everyone and everything was fine at the old homestead. 48 hours isn’t very long on a visit such as that, hardly time to park your bum, know doubt you enjoyed it though.

  285. JT says:

    Greetings

    Back. Only got a 48 hour pass

  286. Editor says:

    HOW BLOODY TRUE

    This was written by a British Soldier- he makes a lot of sense!

    I work, they pay me.

    I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit.
    In order to earn that pay, I work for the MOD.
    I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem.
    What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people
    who don’t have to pass a urine test.
    Shouldn’t one have to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque because
    I have to pass one, to earn it for them?
    Please understand that I have no problem with helping people get back
    on their feet.
    I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their arse, drinking beer and smoking and using drugs
    Could you imagine how much money the government would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a benefit cheque?
    Hope you will pass this thought along, because something has to change in the UK & soon!

    • Jack Madron says:

      Ed.
      Replied to this last night, but as I’ve just said to Sylvia, lost contact with net. That soldier is perfectly right. Urine test the bloody lot, including all MPs. They all act like dopes.

  287. Sylvia says:

    Hi guys

    It’s lonely in here today, have you all gone to a party and not invited me! I’ve got a party frock, and I’ll wash and I promise not to sing.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Hi Sylvia.
      Tried answering you, last night but for some unexplained reason, as soon as I submit, I lose the internet. It’s been like this for three or four nights now. Same with the blogs. I’m on one, click to another and again lose the internet. Can’t figure it out at all.

      If there’s a party going on, I haven’t been invited either. Bit too old now for parties, really. That’s my excuse, anyhow.

  288. Jack Madron says:

    Ed.
    Many Happy Returns of the Day. Have a nice one, mate.

    ED: Thanks Jack.

  289. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED. Now had phone call from Anne and Joe Knight. Doris and I would like to wish them both a belated Best Wishes on their Golden Anniversary on 12-9-2009 which they celebrated with family and friends. Quite a few of Joe’s Ox and Bucks old mates attended he was saying, they had a very nice time.

    They asked if I had been in contact with you Derek, I said we mainly keep in touch on the various blogs and they both send you their best wishes. They are both looking forward to coming to Cornwall with Griff and Jennie next June, he said they will be bringing a bottle of Champers to celebrate their Anniversary then.

  290. Sloop JB says:

    JT,
    Enjoy your few days, and hope the family is alright.

  291. JT says:

    All

    I am going up t’ North for a couple of days to visit my mother. (She is 96 and a lot fitter than me)

    Play nicely together

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      Safe journey to you and Annie.

      • Jack Madron says:

        Sylvia.
        Sept 20. 1956. Anne Shelton was number one in the charts with “Lay Down Your Arms”.
        2. Doris Day. “Que Sera Sera.”
        3. Bill Haley.”Rockin’ Through The Rye”.
        9. Lonnie Donegan. “Bring A Little Water Sylvie”.
        Memories.

        • Sylvia says:

          Jack

          As Mum had the radio on all the time, I do remember these songs. they played Lay Down Your Arms on the programme I was listening to. I would have been almost 9, Even now I prefer the radio to the TV. I also remember Mrs Dayl’s Diary and the Archers, also the plays in the afternoon. There was no one more pleased than me when they bought out audio books, especially the classic ones, because I didn’t understand them when I was reading them at school. Most evenings I listen to them while I’m sewing or knitting, or butting in on the blog.

          I don’t expect you would have listened to the radio much in 1956, as you would have been in your late teens and listening to the pub calling.

          Go on dish the dirt, did you wear drainpipe trousers and have your hair brylcreamed into a mullet? (After you were demobbed of course)

          • Jack Madron says:

            Hi Sylvia.
            You’re so kind saying I was in my late teens in 1956. Unfortunately I was 22 yrs old. Still a teenager at heart though. I did wear drainpipes but used Trugel not Brylcream for my DA styled hair.

            I used to enjoy listening to the radio, especially Sat and Sunday nights. Jack Jackson used to have a programme of top records but I can’t remember which night he was on. Those were the days.

            • Sylvia says:

              Jack

              We are all as young as we feel, it’s just that different parts of my body feel different ages, for instant my brain thinks it’s 18 but by knees and hips feel 98 but the rest of my bones only feel 88!

              We used to listen to a play on Saturday night, my brain is saying it was called ‘The London Dungeon’, but my brain doesn’t always get it right, anyway it scared the poo out of me but we were allowed to stay up later if we wanted to listen.

              As for dressing up to go out, when we were in Bodmin, we would go out of the barracks with our skirts at a respectable length, then when we thought we couldn’t be seen we would turn the waist over several times to end up with a mini, what must we have looked like, onlookers must have thought we had a car tyre up our jumpers. There was a coffee bar at the top of town, not that we were allowed to go in it (but we did).

  292. Sloop JB says:

    JT,
    They North Country blokes got to be seen to believed.

  293. JT says:

    GOSH this Chilean wine is strong

  294. JT says:

    I am researching for my degree thesis .

    Can you all please tell me the following:

    What was the price of double egg and chips in a UK NAAFI in 1953 ?

    We have touched on this before in an earlier blog when I was trying to establish the price of a Great Western Railway station pork pie and a cup of tea in 1954.

    Jack was helpful at the time as he was of course train spotting (before enlistment) and had spent a long time on railway stations.

  295. JT says:

    Sloop

    One of my North Country ancestors Eric Blood Axe, never made it South of Sheffield. His lads refused to carry the long ship. Bolshie bastards

  296. Sloop JB says:

    Swanny,
    You’re too late selling Cornwall to me, came down 1953 stayed ten weeks in Bodmin, liked what I saw been coming down ever since. In fact I was in Cornwall Jamaica as well, done waitering at garden party for Sir Hugh Foot Governor of Jamaica, he was a Cornish boy like you. One of my Ancesters came to Cornwall as an agent for someone, One Hundred & Twenty Seven Pounds in his pocket to purchase St Michaels Mount but it wasn’t enough, bad luck wouldn’t you say.

  297. Sloop JB says:

    JT,
    Pee operations went well, got to take the pee bottle back to ward 4 to have a replacement. I didn’t splash me trousers either, thanks for asking. Wee had plenty of stops on the way up and back.

  298. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Sloop JB, Yorkshire always saying about their county. You should of come down to GODS COUNTRY CORNWALL, we have better weather, bigger fishing ports and our lingo is easier to understand and the best beaches in all ter UK, there is always next year JB.

  299. JT says:

    Sloop

    Wee facilities on the coach OK ?

  300. Sloop JB says:

    Sylvia,
    Thank you very much for asking and yes we did have a good holiday. Our little legs were tired out time we got home. Scarborough is quite hilly, as anyone who has been there will tell you. We went to York which is very nice, saw the Minster, very beautiful, how they built those places is a marvel. Didn’t walk the wall this time, done that years ago. Visited Whitby a lovely old fishing port then back to heartbeat country, didn’t see any actors as they don’t film there any more. Saw Filey, Bridlington and lots scenery over the Yorkshire Moors, quite a full schedule.

  301. Sylvia says:

    JB

    So apart from having to walk up the stairs, did you and your wife have a good time

  302. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    ED. Got carried away again, wrong blog I answered on HR’s Blog to Tom. I remember who he is now, sorry Tom. I spoke to you and your wife at Bodmin this year. I was also speaking to Dick Rich who also did Commando Training. Grovel, grovel sorry again Derek for going on the wrong blog.

    ED: Jankers in the coal hole Swanny, Repeat after me….etc etc.

    • Sylvia says:

      Swanny,

      I am really pleased I’m not the only one. How are you and Doris today? Has Doris got over her aches and pains from gardening. I’m just going out to start on the caravan garden, much, much small but the ground is solid.

  303. JT says:

    Thanks Ed

    I thought that was your intention.

    Tempus Edax Rerum

  304. JT says:

    Ed

    Grumpy blog ?

    • Editor says:

      JT, are you inviting my response for the purpose/intent of the Grumpy Blog? If so, your initial interpretation is/was correct, in that it offers an opportunity to have a say on matters: Blog Page 1, bullshit, for the use of!

      However, as is usual, a more wider opportunity is evident, which I suspect, will only lead to ‘more confusion’. The troops have already appropriated it for wider purposes. We’ll let it run and see what happens, it will at least poke fun at how we see ourselves.

      Tempus Fugit!

    • Sylvia says:

      I’m very sorry JT
      It was naughty of me
      To use the Grumpy Page
      With no visible rage
      I bow my head in shame
      and won’t ever do it again.

      Only joking JT, I started off trying to get JB to tell us what was wrong with the hotel, then went into ‘showing off’ mode. Typical woman!

  305. Editor says:

    ASSHOLE SUPREME!

    Read about this cretinous arsehole.

    Ahmadinejad calls Holocaust a ‘myth’

  306. JT says:

    Hi Sylvia

    Shin of beef slow cooked for 7 hours at 100c. Fantastic. She also “found” me another bottle. What a star.

  307. JT says:

    Well we have the “posh” and the wannabe posh don’t we ?

    The posh in every case were born into privilege and wealth. Public school etc. Then we have the “pseudo posh” the self made man (spivs) and bankers or even worse the children of same who are even bigger snobs. Or even worse than that, the new “celebs”. Each category hates the others.

    OK I am foaming at the mouth now so I will go to bed. I am just pissed off coz Annie has poured my wine into a casserole.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      What a wonderful lady your Annie is, if I hadn’t just finished eating I’d pop round for wine casserole. What else did she put in it?

      • Jack Madron says:

        JT.
        Isn’t casserole a posh word for stew? Anyhow mate, the one who eats the most drinks the most.

        Have noticed that JB is back from his gallivanting. Thought I heard the faint strains of “Scarborough Fair”, drifting in from Old Grumpy blog.

        • Sylvia says:

          Jack

          I was listening to the radio earlier this evening, they did a 30 min. show about Anne Shelton, one of your favourites, (I think that’s what you said, although I can’t find our comment now) some of it from a show she did 20 years ago, still sounded good today.

          • Jack Madron says:

            Hi Sylvia and JT.
            Wrote two answers last night to your comments about Anne Shelton and Beef Stew and each time I clicked Submit, I lost contact with the net. There are two comments out there somewhere flying around the universe. Also had same trouble with moving from one blog to another. I’ve forgotten what I said last night, but never mind, it was only trivial chat.

            • Sylvia says:

              Jack,

              Nothing you say is trivial, and is always valued by us bloggers. I know JB had the same problem, and as I have a warped sense of humour, I wonder if those comments have ended up on the Womens Institute blog we could be curdling their cream cakes!

        • JT says:

          Jack
          You are right, and to make it worse the recipe said Boeuf Bourgignon or summat.

          Looks like the Grumpy blog is being used a lot. Thought it was just for grumps about the blogs.

          ED: Ahha, speaking French are we? Try Monty Python’s version

  308. JT says:

    Fox Hunting

    The hunting folk say that the “ordinary” village people love the hunt and turn out to watch. Well some do. But you don’t see ’em at the Hunt Ball do you. The main attraction is to be seen in their finery with their stirrup cups with the local peasants gawping at them.

    ” But the hounds kill the fox instantly and it feels no pain.”

    Well a woman on the radio today said the hounds caught a fox in her garden and it screamed for some time before it died as the dogs tore off its legs, ears, tail etc

  309. JT says:

    We have a situation on London commons where men on bikes ride behind people with smallish dogs, grab the lead and ride away to a nearby car. The dogs are sold to people with fighting dogs to tear apart for practice .

    Can you begin to imagine ?

  310. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All. Following JT’s comments on fox hunting etc, did you see on TV that evil cow who instigated the underwold of dog fighting? What an arrogant bastard she was, she left the court and when the media tried to speak to her she wouldn’t even comment.

    Ours, like Derek said about his neck of the woods, is the same, the law is an ass. Give these people when caught ought to be put in a big pit and let a couple of pit bull dogs rip them the same as these people do to those poor dogs. Only answer really is bring back the birch. As for fox hunting you don’t see any manual workers following them, just right wing Tory Toffs, Cameron’s Mob.

    • JT says:

      Swanny

      I agree bring back the birch. Also for the fox hunters who also break the law and the police do fuck all about it.

  311. Jack Madron says:

    JT.
    I’m all for Fox hunting. That is, Fox the MP and all the vermin MPs with him. Hey, we could have a field day.

  312. JT says:

    I read that nearly all members the shadow cabinet went to Eton and are all millionaires. i.e they know fuck all about how the peasants live and care less.

    MP’s bang on about the “undeserving poor” the benefit “scroungers” while fiddling expenses and looking forward to their obscene pension pots. “Get em back to work they cry or stop their benefits”,with 2.5 million unemployed? Bastards. Here endeth the rant.

    Jack and Dave, get that Vickers serviced.

  313. JT says:

    Rant coming up
    Cameron say Tories will bring back fox hunting..

    Supporters are banging on with their tried old mantras.

    “We have to keep the fox population down coz they are vermin”

    Why then do hunts breed fox cubs and release them when the area runs shirt of foxes ?

    “Its not just for posh folk the local villagers love to follow the hunt”
    Well nowadays most local villagers are either city folk (posh) with second homes there. The true local locals usually drive to the nearest town to work and definately dont follow the hunt like the old time peasants. They watch football on telly or go to the match.

    “But it is our heritage to hunt”
    But so was badger bear and bull baiting
    So was public executions until 1868 (Crowd loved them)
    Dog fighting ?

    “Banning will cause massive unemployment in th country side”
    No one has lost their job because they drag hunt

    “Horses will disappear from the country side”
    Really ?

    “What about the poor hounds”

    Well they are killed at age 7

    Other cultures have heritages to:

    Cutting off hands and feet
    Stoning to death

    Its cultchur innit ?

  314. JT says:

    Derek

    Well in Grated Britain he would have got couple of weeks community service and then got a crooked lawyer (there are many) and sued for compensation .

  315. Editor says:

    BROWSE THIS UNBELIEVABLE AUSSIE LEGAL CRAP!

    These legal fuckers are no different it seems than the cretins in Grated Britain. Here’s a skilled Dive Instructor husband who wilfully leaves his missus on the ocean floor to drown and fails to lift a fucking finger. Look at the primary sentence he gets for murder. Now the legal bollocks over ‘reasonable’, ‘fair’ and ‘just’.

    Take a life under any circumstances – 20 years I say – no parole.

    I know this is in Queersland (!) OZ and that this case wouldn’t have rippled in your Meeja, but just to let you know that bureaucratic idiocy is not only the province of the UK.

  316. JT says:

    See that Dave ?

    Sylvia has her own teeth (and hair), so she can chew skins for your moccasins. Now looks like she can knit blankets for trade with the up country Inuit.

    This gal is jest perfect for those long winter nights in typee or even the igloo if you go North for the winter seal hunt. What a catch!

  317. Barry Cornish says:

    If Terry Simons has found his way on to this blog. Here is wishing you a Happy Birthday and many Happy Returns of the Day.

    Barry.

    • JT says:

      Barry

      Well I haven’t seen him.

      Do keep up Barry, we are confused enough already.

      • Barry Cornish says:

        Hi! John,
        I have now discovered Terry on the Re-Union blog and told him that this is where most of the bloggers are now to be found. I have been enjoying your contributions, Sylvia.

        • Sylvia says:

          Barry

          I was on e-bay looking to see if I could find some cheap wool, when I heard my name mentioned, and being vain had to come and see. I hope I’ve made you laugh along the way, and would like to wish your mate Terry Happy Birthday.

          Yes, I am my fathers daughter I’ve got ears and eyes everywhere.

  318. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Well I guess he should really be commenting on MMG blog unless it related to your Dad and family.

    Better tip him off, though I guess he will be reading the other blogs and should get the message.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      Sorry I didn’t mean to imply Tom shouldn’t be on that blog, I just noticed that he hadn’t been on here lately, then I remembered we had moved.

  319. Sylvia says:

    Evening guys,

    Didn’t think I’d have time to pop in tonight but here I am, for you sins.

    Wot no Cliff Richard jokes! couldn’t you just squeeze one out.

    JB will be back soon I’m sure he will find one, do you think Tom doesn’t know we are usng this blog now, he has popped into Dad’s blog a couple of times, should somebody tell him.

    • Jack Madron says:

      That Harry Webb, he must be the oldest Living Doll going. He’s glad he’s Travelling Light if he’s got to Move It. Bachelor Boy still though.

      • Sylvia says:

        Thanks Jack,

        That’s the politest Cliff comment I’ve heard in a long while. I can’t believe that he’s actually getting back with the Shadows for this tour. I had to book my ticket at the end of last year, had to keep re-dialing the number for hours before I got through. I managed to book a coach trip so I don’t have to go wandering round London, on my own, at night.

        • Jack Madron says:

          Hi Sylvia.
          Not the original Shadows, I bet. Do you remember the first band? Hank Marvin. Bruce Welsh, Jet Harris and Tony Meahan. Their first name was The Drifters but they had to change because there was an American vocal group with that name. Just a little useless info.

          • Sylvia says:

            Jack,

            Not so useless info. What was useless was that I got 4 copies of his book ‘Cliff’ for Christmas last year. No mention of him being ‘intimate’ with one of their girlfriends. Intimate was a word they used a lot in the News of the World when I was young, now that is useless info. My friends and I used to giggle when we read it, we thought it meant kissing.

  320. JT says:

    Swanny

    A minor (don’t worry I don’t mean Miner. Coal etc) technical question. Why is your name underlined signifying a link?

    ED: I’d better answer this ‘un, ‘cos I do believe that Swanny has overlooked an ‘auto’ function in his Comment Box. At some time or other Swanny has (mistakenly) entered part of a URL (with all good intentions I’m sure). Because that URL was only partially written, it fails to ‘link’ BUT does leave a trail that shows up as an underlined title name to every comment that he logs. Most of the time I erase it, but one or two get through.

    Swanny, if you read this, simply clear the “Website/URL” line in your Comment Box.

  321. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Happy Birthday Derek from Doris and myself. Fly over on Saturday night and I’ll buy ‘ee a pint of Black Velvet, have a good day mate, on second thoughts I’ll have a couple for ‘ee on Saturday.

    ED: Thanks Swanny

  322. JT says:

    Rant for today

    A Sikh police officer in the Met has claimed constructive dismissal for racial discrimination and requires £200,000 compensation.

    In training for riot control he was required to wear a hard helmet instead of his turban and refused. Its against his religion innit

    Also because of an inflammatory gel he puts on his beard he refused to have riot training in which petrol bombs are thrown at the trainee squad.

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      He’ll probably get the money, there is none so racial as the ones that don’t belong here.

      Another burden on the tax payer. When I was working and claiming my pension, I was taxed on my pension as well as what I was earning, this story makes me sick. I was going to defer my pension, but if I had ‘popped my clogs’ before I claimed the deferment my son wouldn’t have got a penny, and I wanted to carry on working for the social side of office work.

      Gosh, I’m being really grumpy today, will have to drag myself out of that mood. I’d better treat myself to the biggest cream cake I can find.

      • JT says:

        Sylvia

        Here is the plan.

        Change your name by deed poll to say Jasmin Khyam.

        Get rigged up in a full burkha plus sunglasses.

        Apply for say 50 jobs and send CV.
        e.g Police force, Sales Rep, etc

        When you get an interview go rigged out as above. If you don’t get the job you will need a bent firm of solicitors (No win no fee type) preferably Jewish.

        Sue all the companies who have not offered you a job for big bucks (say £250,000 a pop)

        We are on a winner Kid. Just 5% for me OK ?

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      I can see your train of thought, along the lines of walkng around the street with lit candles, specially Gravesend

      • JT says:

        Sylvia

        No No I was just correcting my spelling error concerning the Sicks (sic) beard gel.

        You’ve lost me now… You been drinkin ?

        • Sylvia says:

          JT, there I was thinking you were pondering on the fact that the beard gel is inflammable! Typical women reading too much into things. Thought you might be plotting something. And Gravesend has 3 Siek temples, and is referred to as little Pakistan.

          Hope the race relations won’t knock on my door, cause I’ve got candles burning here.

          • JT says:

            Well Elf and Safe T should stop this beard gel lark. Its bleedin dangerous innit ?

            Surely nowadays they could get a fireproof gel.

  323. JT says:

    Happy Birthday Derek.

    Luncheon at the Golf Club? very posh. BBQ Grubs for starters? Yummee.

    ED: Thanks JT, probably pass on the grubs, might partake in the bucket of prawns though, washed down with a James Squires brown.

    PS: Thought I’d beat you to it! Now fuck off, I’m full. Monty Python link.

  324. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Sylvia, you mentioned your garden. My wife Doris does most of the gardening here, like you she gets all the aches and pains etc. Autumn is here she picked the last of our apples yesterday. Winter just around the corner. Had Jack around yesterday afternoon I had my denims on doing a bit of painting on the house. My son-in-law came in the morning and painted the top gable end as I am not up the that now. First time I have been on this blog for a time, really enjoy all of your comments.
    Swanny.

    • Sylvia says:

      Swanny,

      I’ve only got the rockery to tidy up now, if I’d done more during the summer instead of swanning (forgive the pun) off to the caravan, it wouldn’t need so much work now. I hope you are going to give Doris a nice massage!

  325. Sylvia says:

    Hi guys,

    I’ve been working hard in the garden, settling it down for the winter, bit late for that as I think winter started last Sunday. Could do with a massage this week as my knees and hips are really complaining!

    Also got to spend the weekend sorting out the caravan, as the awning will have to come down soon, by Monday I will be properly cream crackered. Poor old soul, oh woe is me.

    Still the following weekend I have a ticket to see Cliff Richard and the Shadows at the Millenium Dome (I don’t think they call it that now). I expect I will now get comments about his sexuallity and his colostomy bag. He’s not really gay, he just helps them out when they are busy.

    I hope you are all well, and if I don’t get chance to pop in over the weekend, have a nice birthday ED.

    Catch you all soon.

    ED: Thanks Sylvia, nice to be remembered. Family lunch on Sunday at the Golf Club.

  326. Editor says:

    DIRTY ‘OLE VICAR

    Probably Fluffy’s brother!

  327. JT says:

    National Health Service of the future?

    ED: Mmmm JT. Hereto a continuation of Monty Python’s questionable tastes. CLICK THIS LINK

  328. Editor says:

    HELP! HELP! I’M BEING REPRESSED

    Shades of Grated Britain today!

    Carpe Diem!

  329. JT says:

    Sylvia

    Why not try this for Sunday lunch ?

    • Sylvia says:

      JT

      Yummy yummy, nice bit of tucker. Don’t know if even I would eat sauce made of fish head and entrails, although I may have with out knowing probably at our local Chinese takeaway. They will put anything in Dim Sum!

  330. JT says:

    QED

    ED: Blek Magik

  331. JT says:

    Ed

    It is a fact that in the Southern Hemisphere water swirls down a plug hole counter to the same in the Northern Hemisphere. At the equator you can demonstrate this even 20 yards each side of the line.

    My question was really to check that you guys run the tap after peeing in the sink.

    ED: Help Sylvia, give us some hedgehog soup recipes please!

    • Sylvia says:

      You should think yourselves lucky that you can pee in the sink, I can’t!

      • JT says:

        Sylvia

        As a member of the blog Elf and Safe Tee committee I urge you not to try.

        As you may be aware 29.6% of accidents in the home are by falling off things. We have no statistics at present concerning ladies attempting such practices which must remain alas, a male prerogative.

        PS: A form of Indemnity is in the post.

        • Sylvia says:

          JT

          I think the fact that women can’t pee in the sink is being male chauvanist, point him out and I will sue. Goodness we could get enough of a pay out to move out of this ‘orrible country. What do you think?

          • JT says:

            Sylvia

            Were you thinking of emigrating to Canada by any chance? Dave would be so thrilled, they need a few more pale faces in Dog Patch BC. How are you at chewing leather by the way? This is where the teeth subject comes again in I’m afraid.

            Gettin a bit of deja vu here.

            • Sylvia says:

              JT

              Deja vue, no I use steredent, nothing but the best for me.

              Perhaps Dave will come back from trapping, especially as I believe he got excited last time we discussed this matter. I don’t think I would live in Canada, it gets to cold. I would like somewhere hot, with no stupid politicians, no unnecessary taxes, nah! this is silly there is no such place, might as well stay here.

  332. JT says:

    Jack

    On another scientific note. When you wee in the sink in Horstralia does the water swirl clockwise or anti-clockwise while going down the plug hole?

    ED: Interesting question, sorta ‘when did you last beat your wife?’ Trufe is, I wouldn’t know, not having (recently that is) peed in a sink. I do recall instructions from my early sailing days to not piss into the wind, unless one wants one’s own piss back – but I guess that I must defer to higher Dept of Physics authorities.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      Being already down under, wouldn’t that be up the plug hole? Just a thought. I do get some at times.

      Ed.
      That’s the easiest way to get your own back.

  333. Editor says:

    SIGN OF THE TIMES? (Note bolded cap heading)

    Missus has placed a fridge magnet that reads:-

    “I sometimes wake up grumpy in the morning, but most days I just leave him there”

    BROWSE MORE

    • Jack Madron says:

      ED.
      Just one question. Do fridge magnets automatically turn upsidedown in your part of the world? Magnetic poles? Waking up, grumpy. I liked that.

      JT. Don’t tell my missus to buy one. That’ll only make me grumpier. What’s the point of fridge magnets? The doors are heavy enough to open without that extra weight.

  334. Editor says:

    ATTENTION: AFGHANISTAN BLOG

    This Comment serves 2 purposes. Firstly to draw your attention to an emboldened Heading. (You type in caps, I embold it)

    Secondly, to attract commentary involvement in a fucking war that is unwinnable and a shameful waste of British lives (and US & Canadian lives), and the lives of other Allied soldiers too.

  335. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT. Didn’t know anything about it. I think his thoughts were on the ban on Chelsea has gotten to him, with the FIFA ban and fine etc. I will go on the web to see if there are any comments on what you have told me.

  336. JT says:

    Jack and Swanny

    I see in the paper today that Chelski Russki collapsed when trying to climb Kilimanjaro.

    Why didn’t he use his helicopter ?

  337. JT says:

    By the way I keep forgetting to ask. Whose house is that on the Header ? Have I missed something?

    ED: Priscilla’s Cottage, Childrey in Berkshire. Just a simple random record of beautiful England. No Mossies! only Hosses on the Lambourn Downs, Ed’s Wantage area childhood origins.

  338. JT says:

    Jack

    No the Andy Capp family are Lancashire

  339. Jack Madron says:

    PS.
    Those CAPS, are they from Holland ?

  340. JT says:

    Jack

    I hope you accept that I was referring to the grubs and not you when I mentioned plump little creatures earlier.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      I must point out that you are wrong on the ‘little’ part, even after, nearly a fortnight’s crash dieting. Sod this for a lark. Dieting I mean. As for the Brazilians, one helped us to beat Spurs yesterday.

      Must look up Yellow Pages and try to find a free or extremely cheap Oxford Don to translate most, if not all the above coments. On second thoughts, I won’t bother as it would take Blair’s missus all her time to do that and she’s a QC.
      Does QC stand for Strange Pussy ?
      In her case, I think so.

  341. JT says:

    Ed
    Doh. Got it. Use CAPS and you will embolden.

    ED: Yep – right on. The WordPress function (in’t Comment Box) is limited and only offers upper/lower case. As one might observe also, the editorial options provide for both embolding AND italicising.

  342. JT says:

    Ed

    Rather than using the reply function which seems to be inappropriate in this instance as time and space have been used and due to my inability to use EMBOLDENED fonts I refer to recent comments regarding the landlords locks. It is more likely that he cavorts with the barman than the waitresses.

    Jack has not made comment about “Brazilians” yet so we might assume that such female embellishments have not yet arrived in Cornwall. In this case perhaps your comment about “furries” may have fallen on stoney ground.

    I’ll leave it to you to explain.

    ED: Er, well by way of (part) explanation. Do they call Cornish cats ‘pussies’

  343. JT says:

    Ed

    Trouble is that I for example, cannot embolden fonts on this application

  344. Editor says:

    HERETO AN EXAMPLE (Capitals emboldened by Editor at editorial option)

    REPLY TO JOE BLOGS’ COMMENT ON MMG BLOG (incorrectly placed. Shoulda been here on Unbelievable Blog).

    Joe Blogs, get yer ‘air cut!

  345. JT says:

    See what happened to the replies ED?

    ED: Excellent examples!

  346. L/Cpl Topper Brown QC says:

    Ed

    Please advise the Prosecution that we are most grateful for their response and only wish we could understand it.

    ED: Well s’like this, mah learned friend. Use CAPITAL HEADERS to attract content thus: (In fresh Comment Box)
    ATTENTION! ATTENTION! (Editor’s emboldment)
    Reply to crap written earlier on ‘t wrong blog, blah! blah!

  347. JT says:

    Ahem. As council for the defense in this pre trial hearing for a General Court Martial, firstly my clients plead Guilty as Charged and request that the case is passed back to the CO for Summary judgement.(Better this way, the CO can only give 28 days detention).

    However I must enter a plea for mitigations as follows: Whilst the “reply” function is of course extremely useful is it not a fact that on a busy day when the Old Gits for some unknown reason are stimulated to make several entries that day.

    The reply in these cases is shunted back and occasionally lost to the sick lame and lazy who do not scroll up to look? Indeed some may not understand how to do so (and as Ed has pointed out why should they?)

    ED: Public Prosecutor has advised that maybe the case is brought too early and in fact higher education standards are required, to wit. When in fact “replying” to an established Comment (that may/may not) have been erroneously placed, the (proper) use of CAPITAL LETTERS as a headline, serving as a means to introduce the following subject matter, as drafted by the Responder. Editor has agreed to embolden said CAPITAL HEADING as a means of drawing attention, ifasandwhen placed in the proper blog.

  348. Editor says:

    SINISTER PLAN AFOOT

    Unbeknown to locals, it is believed that plans are in place to develop a new strain of Cornishmen. The latest have names that begin with an “H”, so one assumes that earlier imports are already concealed in the SW community.

    Shall we complain to our local Member?

    Or maybe, the beginnings of a new line in hotdogs for the English tourists!

    • JT says:

      Ed.

      And who will be the first for a recipe for these plump little creatures. (not you Jack calm down).

      ED: Well, noting the extreme shortage of fresh white crab meat, experienced recently by one well known local of long standing fame, one might deduce a high demand in the more salubrious public houses in Penzance, f’rinstance.

      • JT says:

        True Ed

        But heaven forbid that the Chef de Cuisine (an oxymoron?) at the Union Hotel in Penzance puts them on as a “Special” particularly if I may say so using your recent recipe.

        Jack will I am sure pick up on the moron bit….

        Gotcha again Jack.

        ED: One ponders on the lively lasses at said Establishment, handling furries! Maybe Jack has some advice?

        • JT says:

          Ed

          Actually the lasses at the Union were quite attractive. Particularly the Brazilian (no comments on this word please. You have to be very careful these days). She resisted unsurprisingly my requests to meet her in the corridor near the Gents. It was just that they were f…g rude.

          ED: Perhaps they’d been handling furries all day before we arrived? Heaven forbid the Host had longish locks!

        • Jack Madron says:

          How dare you call oxen morons.

  349. JT says:

    25% of people cannot tell you what 25% of £1 is.

    60% people do not how how many millions in a billion (try it ask 10 people today)

  350. JT says:

    Thought for today.

    76.5 % of statistics are rubbish.

  351. EDITORIAL & BLOG DISCIPLINE ISSUES

    Omar Kayam put it quite succinctly:”The moving hand, once writ, moves on”

    The problem with writing a Comment, is that within a few days/weeks it is succeeded by fresh entries and is overtaken onto older pages.

    However here goes: When you post/reply to a blog kindly consider first the topic and its relevancy to the Blog Page. Do not necessarily blindly follow the originator in reply, but revert to the more appropriate blog page, to comment. I’m hoping that general stuff is contained to ‘Unbelievable’, whereas other more specific comments are – hopefully, self indicating.

    F’rinstance, Harry Patch matters are DCLI, nowhere else. Jamaica issues are for the MMGs page etc etc. Empire Clyde is obvious, all Regimental stuff is DCLI also. But, try not to mix ’em up, geddit?

    If we can’t exercise some reasonable direction, then we might just as well have a single page and we can all blog and be damned. Which in turn means that pages will rapidly disappear from view and – as has happened in the past – the load time will extend beyond your patience.

    And Yes! I’m aware that some pages (DCLI), (Korea), and others, get ‘blocked’ at times, bear with me over these WordPress glitches.

    Also, even if this reminder is painful to some! kindly spend a few minutes and browse each and every page available to examine the original flow and intent expressed in the leader.

  352. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All. I have now put a bit of news on MMG blog. Jack was here visiting me yesterday, he has been very poorly for the past week with bad stomach, hopefully he is clear of the virus now.

    As usual we were going over past events etc. We were saying how good it is to have few more old friends and mates joining the blogs, there are lots more out there, as Derek always says GOYA and join us. We are all getting on so all who reads these blogs come and join us.

    Best surprise for me was my old mate has joined the blog via his son in law and we phone each other on a regular basis. I am referring to Cpl Dave Besley who sadly told me his dear wife passed away six months ago. Doris and I have invited him if he wishes to come down to Penzance to stay, as said life is short time for all of us.

  353. Editor says:

    GOOGLE WEB SITES

    Those of you who (occasionally) browse the many 1DCLI and related sites, all of which are listed in the Blogroll rhs of each blog page, might notice some problems.

    I’m advised by Google that all the older websites are being auto transferred to new web address locations. I have noticed that many photo images are either missing or out of sync with the text and at this stage there’s nought I can do about it. Bear with the situation please, all will be well in due course.

    PS: While I have the attention of the more serious Regimental Historians, please note the updates to the Lt. Col AJ Marsh blog.
    Carpe Diem!

  354. A Pullthrew Ex Pte RAOC says:

    Dear Blogs (got it write this time)

    Talking about RAOC i was in Bicester depot 1949-51 my jiob was ticking thiongs orf.

    Then visited Colchesyter for a bit for flogging stoff (tyres) to locals gippos.

    Before your time sproggs get some in ha ha

  355. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All. Doris and I thank you all for your kind thoughts and wishes for our 53rd Anniversary.

  356. JT says:

    Sloop

    I left a message for (I think) is your son on the Empire Clyde blog.

  357. JT says:

    Swanny

    Happy Anniversary and many happy returns.

    Annie and John

    • Jack Madron says:

      Swanny and Doris.
      Sorry for being late. Happy Anniversary, and have many more.
      Jack and Ruth.

      • Barry Cornish says:

        Swanny and Doris.

        I would like to add my good wishes and congratulations to you both. Harry Anniversary! Barry.

  358. JT says:

    Swanny

    I think that connection with your ex girlfriend and and family is brilliant after all these years. I sometimes wonder what happened to my girl.

  359. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All. Had visit from Keith and Maureen Mannings today which is Doris’ and mine 53 years Anniversary. We took them out for a meal at lunchtime at the Pirate Pub at Alverton where Jack lives just out side Penzance and had an excellent meal.

    Keith was telling us that they had been out for meals with my old girlfriend and her family and had a fantastic holiday in Bermuda and how much it has changed over the years, roads, traffic etc, he has been going there for holidays every other year since 1986 and loves the place and people there and finds them so hospitable, bit different when we were there, they never liked us much black or white. Mind you no one liked us much in the world generally as Soldiers.

    ED: Congrats Old Cheps!

  360. JT says:

    2 people offered me a seat on the bus today. Why does that make me depressed?

    • Jack Madron says:

      Never mind JT.
      Don’t forget. There’s a helluvalot that haven’t made it this far. When people ask, “How I am”. I always answer. “Still Here”.

  361. JT says:

    Irish Olympics

  362. Sloop JB says:

    There was a time when anyone doing something to harm the country were taken in on a charge of treason put against the wall and shot. I under stand that would be classed as barbaric but what about the barbaric atrocities they are committing, what about our civil rights, if the EU allows us to have any, or our own government for that matter.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Bollocks to the EU. By the way. Can any one tell me when the French added red and blue to their flag?

  363. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All. In the papers again today, the government has spent 495,000 on snooping on wounded soldiers for feigning their injuries sustained in battle? It makes your blood boil for these bastards who send our brave men to fight on behalf of our Country. How many politicians would do their job fighting in one of hardest wars in our history? I wouldn’t be able to count one of these MPs to go and do the job that these brave servicemen do on every day.

    As for the money this war is costing, perhaps these MPs with their subsidised meals, drinks etc should choke on these and go and see the conditions our troops have to eat and drink on a daily basis.

    Pun, Food for thought!

    • JT says:

      Swanny

      Saw that but I suspect it some Civil Servants in MOD who are the culprits this time rather than an MP. Or more likely one of these consultancy firms who are paid millions to waste our money.

      The Defense Ministers don’t know what the f…k is going on most of the time. They are changed so quickly before they know they even know where the bog paper is kept. The civil servants know this and keep them in the dark.

  364. Editor says:

    THE UK PARLIAMENT LIMPS ON

    Here you have it – straight from the horse’s mouth. A bunch of limp dicks?

  365. JT says:

    Look at the size of British Army commitments in 1952

  366. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT. We should take a leaf out of his book in UK do tit for tat to illegal immigrants, no such luck we are such dopes in our country we still look after them in their own country and still pay for them.

  367. JT says:

    Col G of Libya is an international treasure. When the Swiss arrested one of his sons for assault he arrested two Swisses. Then he demanded via the UN that Switzerland be dismantled and divided between its neighbours.

    S’truth; better not mess with this dude.

  368. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Ed. Didn’t think when I sent Bill a message, that Bill’s niece lived in Hong Kong. What a man he is, to fly out there is no mean feat at his age. As you know Doris and I flew to Borneo and OZ in 1995 two days flying. As you well know Derek it is a very tiring journey, especially at Bill’s age, but it will hopefully do him good to have a break.

    Not too much Tiger beer Bill.

  369. Barry Cornish says:

    Hi Bill,

    I do hope that your health holds out and you enjoy the trip.

    With Best Wishes from,
    Barry.

  370. JT says:

    My South African enterprise looks as if its going down the drain. I must tell them to start filling in that f….g great hole.

    Ah well “Muck to Muck in 2 generations” as they say.

    • Barry Cornish says:

      Hi John,

      I am sorry to hear your news. That is a problem that you could well do without.

      Kindest regards,
      from,
      Barry.

      • JT says:

        Thanks Barry

        I blame Cecil Rhodes.

        How are you? long time no contact. Blogs seem to be gaining a bit of strength. One or two new victims I see.

        • Barry Cornish says:

          Hi John,
          I am fine, thanks. However, Nora has been really ill with a severe chest infection for the last five weeks but refused to go to hospital. I have been nurse and provider of ‘room service’, as well as running the house, so I have not had an opportunity to keep up with the blogs. She has just completed her fourth course on antibiotics and seems to be ‘turning the corner’ now. I am glad that I have found you all again in your new location and am enjoying the photos which Derek has put on Picasa.

    • JT says:

      I knew I shouldn’t have bought it there were no f….g diamonds left

  371. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Hi Bill, sorry to hear you have not been well, hope you and your niece have a good trip to Hong Kong, glad to hear Nancy is going on OK. This should do you good, bon voyage.

    Neil and Doris.

    ED: Thanks for those words Swanny, Bill will be pleased to hear from you. His niece Betty, is in Honkers.

  372. JT says:

    Billy Boy

    Have a great trip. Its great that you can make such a long journey.

  373. Editor says:

    BILL GRIFFITHS

    Just received a return email from Bill, who is poorly and having continuous hospital visits for checkups. Nancy however, is OK and has been home several times and out and about at Bill’s favourite pubs.

    Bill is off to Honkers on the 18th Sept for a week with niece Betty, so here’s hoping he’ll return full of vim and vigour and give us a hand to counter the effects of the Dangerous Cordite Gang.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Get well soon, Bill. You’re sorely needed on here by some, who need you against the DCG. Glad to hear Nancy is a lot better.

      All the best, mate.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        Wots a DCG?

        ED: Dangerous Cordite Gang, JT. Them fuckers wots allus sniffing cordite and spreading bullshit!

  374. Editor says:

    SEND UP ON AUSSIE (NSW) POLLIES

    This week has seen the State Treasurer of NSW resign, because of an extra marital affair made public. This same proclaimed ‘leading light’, with his Federal politician wife, last year bullied the staff of a local Sydney pub, over a trivial matter. “Don’t you know who I am?”

    Typically, our media make light of the matter – with some degrees of cynical truth.

    Worth a look!

  375. Sloop JB says:

    JT
    You’re welcome.

  376. Sloop JB says:

    JT
    If I happen to be passing by I’ll chuck a few bob in, just don’t sell the dog.

  377. Editor says:

    VEDIC ASTROLOGY FOR THOSE NIT PICKING VIRGOANS AMONG US

    To my knowledge the following are to enjoy a birthday this month. Bradshaw, Griffin, Lovemore, Simons. Happy Birthday all, you bunch of anal bastards. Hotlinked prophecy above.

    Hope it all comes true!

    Tempus Fugit!

    • Jack Madron says:

      Ed.
      If that’s the monthly predictions for Virgo, I’m glad I’m Taurus. Anyhow, for all you chaps who have a birthday this month. Penbloth Lowen Regasbo. (Happy Birthday).

  378. Editor says:

    LONDON CAB ANYONE?

    Just proves that madness is not contained only to British Politicians.

    PS: I can only try to elevate the intellectual quality of conversational exchange – tough chance with MMGs bullshitting all day, every day. And that banter about spit and polish and melting in the heat. What a load of crap! We in “A” Coy never stood still long enough for the sun to have any effect, the wind chill factor flowing over our marching feet countered any effect of the sun. That fucking cordite from the Vickers must have had a profound effect on the “S” Coy wallahs!

    • JT says:

      Ed speaks de trufe.

      Oft times when sitting in my little office trying to keep awake til lunchtime and gazing through the open door those little “A” Coy stubble hoppers would whiz past with feet moving like Billy O.

    • Dave Hutchinson says:

      What a load of crap!

      Quote: We in “A” Coy never stood still long enough for the sun to have any effect, the wind chill factor flowing over our marching feet countered any effect of the sun. Endquote:

      Give me a break. The only marching you lot did was to the Naafi. Jack, did you read that bull, wind chill factor, Ha Ha. Come here and really feel a wind chill factor.

      ED: Just knew Old Grizzly would bite – best snapper bite I’ve had all day! Had your cordite today DH?

  379. Sloop JB says:

    JT
    I meant the ossifers, no I have not any dirt to dish out on anyone. Sorry JT you’ll still have to ferret about for extra pennies.

    • JT says:

      Sloop

      Oh OK
      Back to plan B, rattling a tin on Balham tube station with my dark glasses on. Hoping the wife will let me take one of the dogs.

  380. Sloop JB says:

    JT
    Would they be worth blackmailing?

  381. Sloop JB says:

    J T
    Remember the three wise monkeys, See nought Hear nought and Say nought

  382. JT says:

    You guys are really into memory lane on the MMG blog. Thats good. When Sloop gets going perhaps he can remember some blackmail stuff on Hossifers. One in particular (no names no pack drill)

    • Dave Hutchinson says:

      JT, well at least we have memories, not much to remember about Bermuda, except shilling breasts. The whole bloody island could fit in our local Dog Patch as you call it.

  383. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT, Jack, 4 games top of the Prem. Man Utd lucky again outplayed by Arsenal won on a fluke own goal, lost to Burnley, really missing the Winker and Chelsea playing super football and havn’t bought anyone in the transfer market. Looking good for we London Blues, and our Russian so pleased the way we are playing.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Swanny.
      Remember the story ’bout the tortoise and the hare. Another old saying from Mousehole is, “Don’t pee until your water comes”.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Swanny.
      FIFA has stopped them doing any transfers.

  384. JT says:

    Yes Jack

    See what you mean. They are owned by a Russian Grub

  385. Dave H says:

    A better batter is flour, water, some baking soda, not too much and some pepper, that’s a fish & chip batter.

    • JT says:

      Dave

      Perhaps your batter is too heavy for the grubs. The iced water is essential for Tempura. So it comes to this, here we are, exchanging recipes like 2 old gals in the Womens Institute blog.

      Lets face it the grubs ain’t going to be a family favourite in Dog Patch or Chelsea are they?

      • Jack Madron says:

        Probably more popular than Chelsea. JT. Or should that be Chelski, as they’re now known.

      • Dave Hutchinson says:

        Wouldn’t that be Battersea also JT. HA HA

        • JT says:

          Dave

          Well I live in Balham and when I see I am the only white person on a local bus I reckon we might see them in the market soon particularly if they are Halal. But this can only be if their little throats are cut. Bit labour intensive.

          We’ ll ask Ed

          But they’ll be never be popular in Chelsea with the chinless wonders.

  386. JT says:

    Jack

    Ha Ha You missed your cue.

    Tempura Batter
    Egg
    Flour
    Iced water

    • Jack Madron says:

      Do you mean Wichita Linesman, JT? We’ve already done that joke.
      Why iced water? I’m not in to cooking like you and Dave. Prefer the eating part best.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        I know you did the joke ages ago I just thought it went with the Wichita grubs.

        I don’t know why but the iced water seem to be essential they say.

  387. JT says:

    Important Correction

    According to Wikie thing the spelling for the Ossie grub is Wichita which seems odd to me. Furthermore the grubs should be dipped in tempura batter before deep frying.

    Jack, I expect you will have something to say about Wichita ? Go on then. Ed will no doubt also comment on this matter

    ED: Ahem! Witchetty Grubs

  388. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Ed, Watched TJ yesterday on You Tube. What a star of Kari-Oki singing like a true Cornishman in front of a big audience and in full Cornish Regalia. Doris and I were so proud of him singing at a venue for his wife’s 70th birthday party. Well done Terry we’re all proud of you. True Janner.

    OGGIE–OGGIE.

  389. Editor says:

    CHIEF LAIRD TERENCE JOLL

    We have a celebrity among us lads.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Well done Terry.
      Just one question though. How much did the camera man have to drink ? (Or woman)

  390. JT says:

    Don’t think they have hedgehogs in Canada.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Why are they called hedgehogs? There’s plenty of hedges for all of them.

    • Dave H says:

      JT, there are hedgehogs in Canada but not in the wild, you can buy one in some pet shops, but you have to promise not to cook it before they will sell it to you. They say they make good pets, but I will pass on that, you should get one or 2, cheaper to keep than doggies.

  391. Sloop JB says:

    ED JT, sorry chaps, wilco and out.

  392. Editor says:

    For Sylvia, click the link.

    Enjoy

  393. Editor says:

    RED OR WHITE WINE, JT?

    Roast hedgehog: Ingredients – One or more hedgehogs. Long grass to wrap the meat in.

    Method

    Season the meat. Wrap in the grass, lengthways then crossways. Cook for about two hours for a 2kg joint in a pot on the barbecue. Once the meat has cooked, remove the grass covering and place the joint back on the barbecue to sear the outside. Once the meat has coloured, carve and serve.

    “Hedgehog should have its throat cut, be singed and gutted, trussed with a pullet, then pressed in a towel until very dry. Then roast it with carmeline sauce, or in pastry with wild duck sauce. Note that if the hedghog refuses to unroll, put it in hot water, and then it will straighten itself.”

    • JT says:

      Ed

      I reckon a gallon jar of Ossie Screech will go down a treat with this delectable dish.

    • JT says:

      We have to bow to Eds experience in Out Back cuisine. We previously had his advice on Wichitie grubs (As spelled in the Delia cookbook) as a starter or deep fried in Wombat fat as a nourishing main course.

      His hedgehog recipe may well be a sign of things to come in the post recession depression. We assume it can also be applied to the domestic cat without the irritating prickly bits .

  394. Dave H says:

    What do you guys think, all the hype about Ted Kennedy. His father didn’t want the USA to help the Allies in the 2nd World War. How the hell he got to be an ambassador to Britain I will never know, they should have thrown him out of the country; and I’m sure the Kennedy clan supported the I.R.A.

    • JT says:

      Dave
      True about old man Joe Kennedy. Also true that Ted Kennedy was probably an IRA supporter. He called the Brit Army an “army of occupation”. He later got into the “Peace process” (he was a Polly after all) Boston was a main funding area for IRA.

      Interesting that Martin McGuinness (ex IRA murderer) attends the funeral as the Belfast Representative. He is a Minister of something or other.

  395. Dave H says:

    OK Derek, thanks for the info and as for the Gypo Caravans and Hedgehogs, Sylvia is going to kill ya.

  396. Dave H says:

    Derek, may I ask why those pictures were removed, did someone complain? I say if those pics weren’t doctored, they should remain, some people don’t know whats going on in the UK.

    ED: DH, I guess that you are referring to the Muslim protest, which photos were sourced from a guy in Canada. I removed ’em ‘cos I need to tidy up the header space – no other reason. The clips can be viewed on You Tube (see hotlink). I believe also that the photos are authentic and undoctored too, as I have viewed ’em on many other sites.

  397. JT says:

    Sloop

    Sorry, see my reply above

  398. Sloop JB says:

    Has there been any update on Harry Patch’s memorial service, if anyone has any information I would dearly like to know, so that Peggy and myself can attend to pay our respects.

    ED: JB, transfer any further comment to DCLI blog please

  399. Dave H says:

    I see your point JT. The Pollies as you call them just stick their head in the sand and hope the problems go away or get forgotten about. And oh insulin is very reliable, but make sure you are not found for quite some time, yes you can go into coma but that’s it – brain damage, they pull he plug, It happened to someone I knew, he made sure his gal friend was out of town.

    • JT says:

      Er Sloop

      Blog discipline if you please ?

    • JT says:

      Dave

      There was a case though when some big cheese tried to kill his wife and she was in a coma for years and years. She only just died. Apart from anything else can you imagine being in a coma and having a permanent itch, let alone pain

      • JT says:

        Dave

        Helium gas is the right stuff. Allegedly painless and quick. So what if you sound like the Chipmunks when you say goodbye?

  400. JT says:

    Dave

    Thanks. Yes I am sure it happens everywhere and I share your apprehension.

    The point of my rant however is the use of statistics and the weasel use of the dreaded “percentage” which the rats of Pollies use when interviewed. The “Care Minister” was interviewed on TV and although the presenter asked him 3 times ” But how many cases were there ?” He kept saying “but 93% are satisfied” refusing to quantify the 7% remainder

    In fact it has been reported that there were over a million compliants of abuse or neglect last year.

    Well meaning and fair minded folk who say they were satisfied with their treatment actually help these creeps in their propaganda.

    PS: Insulin is not all that reliable. Might just leave you in a coma.

  401. Dave H says:

    I just hope I drop dead of a heart attack before I go into one of those places, that is my greatest fear to end up not being able to care for myself and to be tossed into a home, but I have my trusty insulin to take care of things in case.

  402. Dave H says:

    JT. Now you have had your rant, do you think those things only happen in the UK? Sad but true, that’s not only happening in hospitals here also, but in the nursing homes. In one instance a carer was cought on camera abusing, punching an old lady, that’s just one instance and one care home.

  403. JT says:

    The point is chaps that there are THOUSANDS of old people left to die or in effect killed in out hospitals. There have been and are thousands of all ages killed by infections due to filthy wards, nurses and equipment

    It doesn’t matter a fuck whether you personally were treated OK. That is the precisely the trouble. The Pollies proudly say 93% of patients are treated OK. (people like you guys) But that means 7% – (SEVERAL HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS ARE NOT). Don’t you really see this?.

    The NHS hospital caused infection and error deaths are killing more people per month than all monthly British Army deaths from 1939 to 1943.

    It doesn’t matter whether we are better or worse than the Americans or the bloody Tibetans. That has fuck all to do with it. Patients are dying every day from starvation and pain so how the fuck does it matter that any of you personally had an OK time?

  404. John Billett says:

    Swanny, I suppose with all the hospital treatments it is how you’re treated personally. When I was in our hospital I had good caring treatment, but having said that I did see some bad things happen, I can only speak from experience and say thank God for the NHS.

  405. Dave H says:

    JT, where in hell are ya? Probably picking up Doggie poop, come on get your neb in on this one, I think all of the bloggers have blogged off

  406. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    All. In answer to JT re the NHS, I can only speak for myself, but as you all know I spent the most of last year in and out of hospital. I only had a couple of gripes about how I was treated, 99 and three quarter % were brilliant with me, only a couple of wards I was on were a little bit lax. As you know only big beef I had was with one outside staff nurse was trained by Waffen SS! So on the whole I was treated very well.

    There was a case in our local paper yesterday of a girl who went to the same school as me who had heart problems and she was on a trolly for 15 hrs so I know where JT is coming from. But the Yanks were crowing on our media about our health service and there were pictures of the state of health care in the US with scores of patients being treated in like a big aircraft hanger in Afghanistan, so that it proves ours is better than theirs.

  407. Editor says:

    NOTE CHANGES

    Picasa Albums have been moved to a new location and placed together on one blog page. Check out Blog Titles at home page header.

    • Dave H says:

      Geeeeez you are worse that the grocery stores here, they are always moving things around, can’t find a blood thing, then when you do find it, the next week its moved again. Have A Nice Day

      • JT says:

        Dave

        The plan is to keep you old geezers active. Helps to stop you staring into space and rattling your dentures.

        • Jack Madron says:

          JT.
          I guess rattling dentures is the same as rattling chicken bones or juju sticks.
          I often stare into space. Knowing damn well there’s more life out there than in Parliament.

          • Dave H says:

            Jack, you guys have it made in the UK with all the perks, free passes, good pensions, help with your heating bills in the winter, (you should see mine), free health care and goodness knows what else. I wonder if I would get a free house if I came back. As for your Government, we will exchange you, it can’t be worse than ours, they are all dick heads, and crooks, give goverment contracts to their friends worth millions.

            • Jack Madron says:

              Dave.
              We don’t get free health care. We pay National Insurance stamps every week when we’re working. Of course, there are some who never work and get everything but there’ll always be some skiving sods. We had them in the army, if you remember rightly.

        • Dave H says:

          JT, I’m active. Hey you don’t see a bay window on this lad, (well not a big one).

  408. Jack Madron says:

    NHS. Councils. Railways. Gas. Electricity. All with the same problem. Too many chiefs and not enough indians. NHS Trusts. Who in hell TRUSTs them? I don’t.

  409. JT says:

    Once again we get the meeja interested in the atrocities committed in NHS Hospitals. Once again we get idiotic comments from readers like “but when I was in hospital I got wonderful treatment”

    THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE THE THOUSANDS OF HELPLESS ELDERLY PATIENTS LEFT DYING OF BEDSORES AND DEHYDRATION IN THEIR OWN SHIT or hospital acquired infections because filthy staff just will not wash their hands and the cleaners are a joke aimlessly shoving around a filthy mop.

    Royal College of Nursing:

    “The vast majority of nurses are dedicated wonderful professionals”
    BUT, YOU ASSHOLES WHAT ABOUT A SIZABLE MINORITY WHO ARE NO BETTER THAN SADISTIC TORTURERS EVEN REFUSING TO ADMINISTER PAIN RELIEF

    Hospital doctors are often no better and in fact even MORE guilty if that is possible poncing about the wards preening themselves and showing off to the giggling nurses. Usually ignoring the poor suffering victims other than making clever jokes.

    And Hey guys when they refer to “ELDERLY ” THEY MEAN US.

    GET MAD

    • Dave H says:

      Wow JT, you are ugly this morning, didn’t you get any last night? I thought the hospitals were bad here but compared to what I just read, they are like a holiday camp.

  410. JT says:

    Billy Boy we know you are out there coz of your emails. Kindly report to the Guard Commander

  411. Editor says:

    YOUR PRESENCE IS REQUESTED. LT.COL. AJ MARSH BLOG

    Recent image updates still continue on this blog, following contact with Will Marsh, grandson to our C.O.

    Also fresh images obtained by Keith Mannings this month of August 2009, from the Maritime Museum, showing the Major, Princess Margaret and others from the 1954-1957 posting, are shortly to be uploaded.

    Additionally, an important solution to an acronym is sought by a Military Historian in Eire, who is compiling a data base of Bermuda British and Commonwealth grave markers. Kindly attend when convenient.

  412. Dave H says:

    Maybe he got his knickers in a twist.

  413. JT says:

    A former mayor of a Lancashire Town has been charged with breaking into houses and stealing womens knickers. We must ask ourselves, is this a breach of his ‘uman rights?

    ED:

    A Lancashire Mayor’s pinched some knickers
    That’s created a storm midst some snickers.
    One wonders what’s next
    To cause locals much vext
    P’raps he dresses to thrill local Vicars.

  414. JT says:

    Ed

    The clip is a must see. Thanks

  415. Ted Bear, Kitchener's Best says:

    CANING CANCELLED

    Looks like I’m being recalled from Malaysia with the event cancelled. Evidently an hour in a closed van with 6 sweaty bearded coppers from the Sharia Police, did the trick. Stand by for more assignment reports, seems as if there’s a small discrimination matter in the British Inland Revenue (see JT’s comment above). What’s the bet that I’ll be shoved off there for undercover work?

    ED: WATCH THIS MUST SEE VIDEO CLIP The Labour Government is effectively condoning Sharia Law in Britain by its own ineffectiveness and breach of existing British Laws.

    • A Pullthrew says:

      Dear Boggs

      This sharia stuff. Wexl I as=.ked the bird in the blacl tent in the ;ibrary if she fancied a bit of caning. and she called that other bird with the short purple hair and safety pins ni her eyeborows and nose and lips who thre me out.

      being an pld squaddie I dont see why there is such a problem .

      We had a PTI who used to cane some recruits on their bare bums in the abklutions . He seemed to loke it and he stood them to double agg and chips in the Naafi afterwards. Its what they call nowedays a win win siyuation

      Isee somr of the wrds dont look so good. Its me typing. I get no help- on the library comouter
      I dont think they like me mucj

      TTFN

  416. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT. You and I think very much the same? Our country has lost the plot. As I am always saying, no matter who rings you up, it is nearly always someone with an Asian accent. I can’t bloody understand what they are saying half the time, whether it’s BT, Tiscali, Talk Talk, its always the same, seems to be via India etc. Seems these days it’s like an Irish Parliament all talking and nothing happening. This is the Meldrew in me. Still John it gives us something to beef about.

    ED:
    Q. What is Irish diplomacy?
    A. It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell.
    So that he will look forward to making the trip

  417. JT says:

    Name a religion that discriminates against people of other faiths e.g forbids interfaith marriage. Particularly women. Has their own exclusive schools. The more orthodox wearing long beards and funny clothes. Bang their heads against a wall. Kills animals by cutting their throats. Have strict fasting periods. Is homophobic

    • Dave H says:

      JT, The Catlick religion, many moons ago I was seeing this gal who was Catholic, her Mommy soon sorted her out for going out with me as I was of course not of their religion. So endeth that romance.

      • JT says:

        Dave

        Correct . Also the Jewish religion and there are probably more.

      • JT says:

        Dave

        Well I am not too sure about the Catholics other than they are Anti Abortion, Anti Birth Control, Homophobic, Anti Protestant (hence your own little trouble). On a happier note, They don’t do Halal or Kosher butchery or suicide bombing.

        But the priests don’t have a very good record regarding small boys.

        • Dave H says:

          Nor do they over here also JT. But why do you think they go into that profession in the first place. Bunch of Kiddy Diddlers.

  418. JT says:

    More Ranting

    I don’t blame the poor buggers who try to live here rather than the shit countries they come from where there governments are even more corrupt and stupid then ours. But they are scrambling to get to an overcrowded lifeboat.

    The problem lies with the many thousands of jobsworths employed in government departments. (Plus 900,000) since Labour came into power they have no real work to do. These departments are basically entirely useless and just go through the motions. Many are Asians with not much command of English and not much sympathy for the native Brits. (Talked to anyone on the phone from Inland Revenue recently ?)

    Then there are the ones in all departments with crap degrees in sociology trying to be clever. Shuffling forms about and being unpleasant to any member if the public who approaches them.

    Look at the latest scandal with MOD Procurement; wastage of BILLIONS.

    Lets face it, if you create a department to monitor racism why are we surprised when they trot out idiotic stuff like banning the saying “Whiter than White” or “Black Mark” (True). This is an insult to the black people they are supposed to be helping.

    Elf and Safe T inspectors. Tattooed, much pierced lesbians going about in pairs with clipboard being a f….ng nuisance and talking garbage.

    Well thats enough for today I suppose. Wait for tonights latest bad news. MPs are still on hols of course. “Jeeze “as Dave would say

    • Dave H says:

      Tattooed, much pierced lesbians going about in pairs with clipboard being a f….ng nuisance and talking garbage.

      JT, you been into some rotten weed? Geeze talking about lesbians and such things. Fluffy where are ya?

  419. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT. Brilliant wording. I endorse all you have said, two years ago no matter which town or city you visited there were these bloody woman with so called babies. When my daughter lived in Eire there were literally 100s of these woman all over the Country, doing exactly the same thing. Why are the powers to be not to know this? I have been in several Muslim countries but you never see this happening in any of them, we in the UK are the biggest Mugs in Europe. How do these crooked lawyers get away with it.

  420. JT says:

    Rant

    Hundreds of children are being bought in Romania and suchlike and brought to Britain on false documents then rented to illegal immigrants who claim them as their own, claim and benefits including a free house moving to the top of the social housing ladder displacing Brits which have been on the waiting list for years. A woman with 3 kids with say one with disability (deliberately caused) can get about £30,000 per year including rent allowance

    One woman has just received £24,000 in back claims. A percentage is paid to the traffickers some a re multi millionaires back in Eastern Europe. This scam alone is costing MILLIONS of £’s

    Also there are gangs of women begging in streets of London and on trains. They each have a baby which appears to sleep all the time. At the end of their shift they hand the baby to the next shift. These babies are also bought in Romania etc

    The police and social services do f….k all about it

    Its discrimination innit? Fat cat crooked lawyers are happy to get legal aid to defend them in cases which alone can cost millions and last for years. Meantime the defendants have disappeared into the woodwork. The so called “BORDER” police and Immigration service are a bunch of useless wankers.

    We should get out of Human rights Law and EU Law. Its f…..g crazy.

    ED: Can of worms?

  421. Editor says:

    NO SEX THANKS – WE’RE MUSLIM

    But murder, mayhem, anarchy and terrorism are OK!

    Quote “The ninth month of the Muslim calendar, Ramadan marks the time more than 1,400 years ago when the first words of Islam’s holy book, the Koran, are believed to have been revealed to the Prophet Muhammad. During this month, the gates of heaven are said to open and the gates of hell are closed. The world’s estimated one billion observant Muslims will abstain from food, smoking and sex during the daylight hours and hold extra prayers at night.” Endquote

  422. Dave Hutchinson says:

    JT. God we Canadians have heducate you lot over there. Depends are old peoples, diapers or nappies, as you lot call them. Now smarten up. I bet Jack knew what they were. Oh and I don’t need any little blue pills yet, I’m not as old as you, mine works pretty good. Hope Fluffy doesn’t read this.

  423. JT says:

    Dave

    Well I don’t know what “Depends” are but you are on the right track.

    How often do you take them and what do they do? Hope they don’t react with those little blue pills you buy on the internet. Your thingy won’t know whether you are coming or going. Therein madness lies.

  424. JT says:

    But a similar idea for us is Wabbits.

  425. JT says:

    We are hoping that Ed will send us regular Kanga food parcels when he has figured a way of doing so. Elf n Safe T wise

  426. Editor says:

    HEV A KANGA BANGA – CHEPS

    Reduce your carbon footprint too!

    See ya at the barbie with a pot of Penzance Panther Piss!

  427. Editor says:

    POWER CORRUPTS – ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY

    As ‘Ole Harold said in the ’50s. Grated Britain, you never had it so good.

    Volunteers required to strap this arsehole over the muzzle of the cannon! Can there really be a God?

  428. Editor says:

    The ‘EFF BEE AII’ says it all for us.

    Read the latest reaction to this fucking outrage by the Scots Government (so-called). Me, I’m pouring all my fucking cases of Scotch down the fucking drain and swapping over to Penzance Panther Piss! On second thoughts maybe I’ll just give up grouse shooting at Balmoral.

    Pricks!

  429. JT says:

    Jack

    Dave is right. Firing from a prone position might be uncomfortable bay window wise. P’raps you could get someone to dig you a little tummy pit.

    You will have to clear it with Elf and Safe T.

  430. JT says:

    Jack

    Oh OK. Will you be using the trusty SMLE .303 or one of those modern jobbies that look like Meccano with built on telescopic sight?

  431. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Consolation Prize. Now we have sent back the Libyan Bomber we will all get free oil from there! Our biggest problem to date is that we can’t get rid of that one handed CLAW from prison to be extradited to the US? Why is it there seems to be laws for some and not others? He is still preaching hatred from inside our prison, where’s the logic in that? If they signed up a couple of us vets we could do the Country a favour for zilch and save millions of £s.

  432. Jack Madron says:

    Ronnie Biggs is now getting state pension and who is paying to keep his son in this country? He’s a bloody Brazilian.

    • JT says:

      Jack

      Biggs junior automatically gets UK citizenship as he has a Brit daddy. Is Ronnie better or worse than the average MP or Fat Cat Banker taking million in bonuses?

      The couple sent down for torturing that baby will be be out on the streets in 7 years or less.

      • Jack Madron says:

        JT.
        You’re right about Biggs but the others should dance on the end of a rope as far as I’m concerned but I didn’t make the laws. Unfortunately.

  433. JT says:

    Swanny

    Dead right. Bastards. Even Premium Bonds are only paying out peanuts, (monkeynuts). We have to stop watching TV unless they bring back Magic Roundabout.

    Forget newspapers get the Beano.

  434. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Bankers Wankers! Latest, bankers getting lots of lolly again? nothing is ever said about we few that have saved for a rainy day in our retirement are all being hit hardest of all. Our savings are making NIL, with interest rates of zero point 0-1 per cent and us oldens seem to be paying for the riff raff of society getting all the benefits – i.e. no rent, council tax etc. We, like all who saved for a rainy day are penalized. My biggest moan is the illegal immigrants seem to come out on top for Government handouts.

    I am the new Victor Meldrum, every time I watch TV this is my biggest hump, why did we ever pay into pension funds etc?

    • Jack Madron says:

      Swanny.
      How dare you call yourself the new Victor Meldrum. I am. There is a Vickers in DCLI Museum Bodmin. I could still use it.

  435. JT says:

    On any given day we can read that the economy is:

    Out of recession
    Sinking deeper into recession
    It will be years before recovery
    Housing market improves
    Housing market has slumped
    Banks are lending again
    Banks are still refusing to lend

    We are fed so much crap every day.

    Also I want to ban “Percentages” . More on this on a later rant.

  436. JT says:

    Smoke and Mirrors

    I suppose we are lucky that we cannot hope to understand this crap.

    The producers of statistics can prove anything to themselves confident that no one else takes any notice.

    One thing for sure is that organizations like this mop up huge amounts of our money. Like the climate change gang of eggheads with their computer models, its BOLLOCKS.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Smoke and Mirrors.
      JT. That didn’t mean a thing to me. All those numbers and graphs didn’t mean sod all to me. I bet every other country in the world is the same except they keep it under their hats.

      Will agree there are too many aliens in the country. Bradford, Birmingham, Leicester are full and Earls Court. But there again, the Brits are all over the world so what’s the difference. Personally, I don’t give a damn as long as me and mine are OK.

  437. Dave H says:

    Derek, I have never been able to open a .pdf file, whats a pollie? Well here its “Have a Nice Day”, and I think I will tomorrow, its going to be 30 c.

    ED: Dave – Pollie = Politician! Your OS should automatically open this .pdf file as a webpage, unless you have your cookie blocked (Mmm, what will JT make of that?)

    • JT says:

      Ed

      I think Fluffy might have something to say about Dave’s cookie.

    • Dave H says:

      Derek, cookies blocked? Now give me a hand here, instructions how to unblock them.

      ED: Dave, in Internet Explorer V8.0 or a later version try “Internet Options” in the Tools Menu, then “Privacy” option and set the bar to permit a lower level than you have. Also check out your “Pop Up Blocker”. The .pdf file should open as a web page, but alternatively Adobe Reader V9.0 will do.

      • Dave H says:

        Don’t know what is going on here Derek, I lowered that bar and still couldn’t open the file, when I look again the bar had gone back to the original place.

        ED: OK Dave, let’s try an alternative route. I’ll email the file to you in a closed email, with the link in the body text. Try 2 options. Click the link to see if it opens and/or cut and paste the URL into your Address Bar. Failing both, I have another option that we’ll try later.

        This is probably just an academic exercise, as the URL in question is a highly convoluted spreadsheet for the UK Economy and is mostly gobbledegook apart from the fact that it tells us that Grated Britain is in deep pooh-pooh financially.

  438. Editor says:

    SMOKE & MIRRORS HIDES THE AWFUL REALITY

    Never mind all the trivial, diversionary crap – cheps – Grated Britain is in the SHIT, with a capital Poop. Read the state of your economy, hotlinked above.

    And be careful what you say in print about your favourite Pollie, bloggers ain’t protected from making felonious comments.

    Have a Good Day – as they say in OZ

  439. Dave H says:

    Scotland releases Lockerbie bomber. Now isn’t that a bummer. Poor Old Charlie Manson who I think killed 3 or 4 people. Now that if he killed them and this other joker who killed about 300 gets out – both the bomber and he are nut cases, but hey where is the justice here?

  440. JT says:

    Swanny

    Well you couldn’t blame Jock Massie if you turned up for guard mounting wearing those. We all know you always got stick orderly because that young Hossifer liked you but that was definitely taking the piss along with wearing your beret like a tanker.

  441. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    JT, Jack. Just to say you 3 year bods got your demob suits etc. Just give a thought about us regular TA soldiers who mostly did 24 years plus. I still had my blue brothel creepers that Jock Massie gave me a mouthful for wearing HA HA. Some glad I am on this site with all the regular bloggers and having banter!

    ED: Prober ‘ansome m’dear.

  442. Rev B Maltravers ex RN says:

    Hi Dave
    Love
    Fluffy

    • Dave H says:

      Fluffy. Get Stuffed! Go and have a circle jerk maybe JT will join you with your Verger friend.

  443. Rev B Maltravers ex RN says:

    Dear Boys

    Well personally I think the idea of a vibrators with a good caning sounds delicious. I will certainly suggest something along these lines when the Verger comes this week for “Monopoly” (His wife has gone to Butlins for a week). Skegness or some ghastly place.

    Love Fluffy

    • JT says:

      Fluffy

      Well I must say you get full marks for trying. But I doubt that Dave will send you the fare to visit him in Canada.

      Also to be honest I don’t think Dog Patch BC is your cup of tea. I think they probably have a hunting season for gays (like for example 2 mule deer or 1 moose per season)

      How did you get on surfer watching in Newquay this year ?

      • Dave H says:

        JT there is no limit on Gays. Bag all you want. I think there is even a bounty, $50 per head. Hard to find though, they kinda go to ground during the season.

  444. JT says:

    Stone Me as Tony Hancock used to say

  445. Ted Bear, Kitchener's Best says:

    JUST POPPING OVER TO MALAYSIA

    I’ve just been seconded to the Sharia Court to make sure all the vibrators are turned off during the caning. I’ve been instructed also, to make sure there’s no gender benders under the burkhas – hard to tell from the outside! Should be a fun day!

  446. Acting Brig. General Ted Bear says:

    Psssst

    Wanna see some dirty pictures? Click the link.

    Back in the Sudan, guys. Been on an advisory trip to OZ to update the growing Mossie population on cool fabrics. But still working up a sweat under these old fashioned burkhas here. Not easy to stay concealed now in all this see through underwear stuff. Still – duty must be done! Stay tuned!

    • JT says:

      L/Cpl Bear

      Well I for one am not in the least impressed by this little sod and his silly so called promotion. He was and is a L/Cpl who should be returned to UK for Court Martial.

      Following recent news stories of the Frogs banning mini burkhas and comments on this blog Teddy Boy emerges once again boasting about his cushy little number.

      It would be interesting to know whether our MOD is subsidizing his salary.

    • JT says:

      L/Cpl Bear

      Acting bullshit more like. Blimey, looking at the picture if that’s the best bird you have pulled since your secondment you are very welcome to stay there, whatever rank you claim.

      ED: Yeah I agree JT, pretty rank!

  447. Dave Hutchinson says:

    Now I’m off to see whats for tea.

  448. Dave Hutchinson says:

    JB. If you put your foot in it, tell JT to poop & scoop will ya. Bloody dogs, not the 4 legged kind, the 2 legged kind.

  449. John Billett says:

    Just doing my level best, got to keep sweet with my old camrades as it were JT. I try to be a smart ass some times but I usually put me foot in it. Hope you’ve had a good day so far.

  450. JT says:

    Hey Sloop

    You are getting very good with this stuff. Learning the lingo also.

    Smart Ass

  451. John Billett says:

    Hi Swanny, I had a look at Old Toons saw you couldn’t spell the title of your favourite toon, so with the aid of my tape I posted it there for you, hard to say let alone spell.

    JB.

  452. JT says:

    Swanny
    This is what you missed. Look what L/Cpl Bear sent us.

  453. JT says:

    Hi Swanny

    Yes this is where we are. The old lags. Leaving space on the other blogs for new blood. Wondered where you had got to.

  454. SWANNY SWANSON says:

    Hi All. I wondered were all the banter had gone. Had mail from Margaret saying I had gone quiet? I had looking at most of our blogs Zilch! Now I know were you have been, will catch up with you now I know were you are HA-HA.

    Hope all who had Keith’s DVD enjoyed it, Terry’s Drill Parade was BRILL! You could feel the presence of HR saying WHAT A BLOODY SHOWER!

    • Jack Madron says:

      Hi Swanny,
      Hope you booked into the guardroom at 0914 hrs this morning. We weren’t hiding away from the other blogs (well JT might have been) just letting somebody else get on. No luck so far.

  455. John Billett says:

    Jack and JT. I was and still am a Nat King Cole nut, can’t think any one can really take his place. I like quite a bit of other singers. Slim Whitman, Tony Bennett, Perry Como. I could go on and on. I’ve been on TOONS – heard a few, not many I don’t like, certainly takes you back.

  456. John Billett says:

    JT, coming in loud and clear, show off. My brain must be worse than I thought, my workmate used to sing it when it came on radio back then.
    J B.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JB.
      Looked up “Hold Him Joe” on You Tube. Found that one but not the others.
      JT and I both got demob suits. Probably because we were both Regulars. Admittedly, I was only short term.

  457. JT says:

    Sloop

    Sugar, Love,Oboe , Oboe, Peter how do you read me over ?

    Just showing off my radio operator skills using the phonetic alphabet of my time at Catterick 1953

    Typical response ” Cant hear you f……..k off”

    Hope you do not reply in this vein. Dave would of course but he went native in BC long ago.

  458. John Billett says:

    JT, I had the same suit when I came out as the one I had when I went in, me birthday suit. I wasn’t in during the war. I see you’re still entertaining Sylvia between you, a girl in a million.
    JB.

    • JT says:

      Sloop

      Re Demob suits. Jack and me got them. I chose gaberdine raincoat, pork pie hat, sports jacket, grey trousers, brogue shoes. Looked a right prat. Everyone else were Teddy Boys

      Jack probably chose Newlyn hard weather gear. Sou’wester, seaboots, seagoing stuff as he was probably thinking of going deep sea fishing like his folks. Looked a right prick at the Palais de Dance in Penzance though doing hand jive.

  459. JT says:

    Hey dis blog. We cookin on gas man. F…knows what this means but it sounds good innit ?

    Ah loorves the smell of blanco in the mornin’

    • Dave H says:

      You are right JT, this blog is just a smoking, the other fence sitters don’t know what they are missing.

  460. JT says:

    Thanks Dave practical as ever.

    Did you like the Geordie clips ?

    • Dave H says:

      As they say here JT, you’re welcome. No I forgot to look shall look when I quit bugging you OK?

    • Dave H says:

      JT, I don’t talk like Sexist Sid. I’m not a Geordie or a coal minor, just a country farm lad.

  461. Dave H says:

    So, get rid of Doggies, pave the garden, put in laminate floors and sink the boat

  462. Dave H says:

    JT, it must be just you as I never have any problems. But there again I don’t have a boat or a dog or a vacum cleaner and I have automatic garden sprinklers. So there.

  463. JT says:

    On another challenging intellectual puzzle which continues to haunt me. Even this morning it got me.

    Why is it apparently a law of nature that:
    Boat mooring ropes
    Garden hoses
    Vacuum cleaner cables
    Long dog leads

    Without fail snag on something when you aren’t watching? and why do we never learn this?

  464. JT says:

    Sloop

    Did you get a demob suit?

  465. JT says:

    Sloop

    Ed reminds us that the Nostalgia Toons got quite a bit of interest with lads recommending their old favourites. In those days Derek had to do the links for us (before we was edificated by him). Good old Barry got really into it (don’t mean OLD Barry).

    ED: Yeah well! Before you all get excited about placing Ole Nostalgia You Tube clips behind your ID in the Comment Block, just remember that we load Comments in sequential – date received – order. That effectively means that your referred (linked) Nostalgia Ole Toon will get overtaken by newer pages. Anyone looking for a particular Clip will have a helluva task.

    Your requested Nostalgia Old Toons lists the You Tube link by Song Title and Artist. Try not to re-invent the wheel – remember – “Horses for Courses”. If you don’t use it – you lose it! Geddit?

  466. John Billett says:

    Hey guys, how about some calypsos like “Hold him Joe” or “Gwendolin is mad with Kitchener because he didnt get back earlier” or “I want what you gave my Daddy last night”, just a thought.

    ED: Housekeeping JB. In the process of you’re ‘getting better’ you’ll observe (if you browse ALL the Blog Titles) that we have a blog named “Nostalgia Toons” etc. The benefit of using this particular blog is that a listed title is placed at immediate page header view and not lost in a myriad of ‘linked’ comments that get replaced in succession, if you do an individual link to a You Tube clip.

    Also, I note that you have misinterpreted my guidance to alter your Proper Name – i.e. John Billett with a capital “J and B” in the Comment Box space. If you do this once, any subsequent posting will automatically pick it up. You do then not need to preface your text with “Author JB/Comment” etc. Geddit?

  467. John Billett says:

    Thanks JT, for clearing that up. I knew what I had done as soon as I submitted the letter, but then it was too late to cancel. So in future I will be known as SLOOP – thats fine, bear with me a bit longer and I will get better.

    Thanks again take care.

  468. JT says:

    Geordies Bless em

  469. JT says:

    Dave

    Pure nostalgia for you

  470. JT says:

    Dave

    One or two clips specially for you in your very own Geordie accent.

  471. Dave H says:

    Quote ED: URLs are removed from body text. See earlier remarks advising placement.

    Do I run round the square with rifle above my head, or do I have to use the mmg minus the tripod I hope.

    ED Reply: No Dave, just trying to keep everyone in step – you know – left, right, left, right. Just trying also to keep harmony with the (free) WordPress servers

    • JT says:

      Talking about keeping step .On the approach to Albert Bridge over Thames there is a small sign

      ” Marching Troops Break Step”

      A relic from Victorias Army

  472. Dave H says:

    I’m not talking about the singers Jack, just the song.

  473. Dave H says:

    For Jack and Swanny, does it bring back memories lads?

    ED: URLs are removed from body text. See earlier remarks advising placement.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Sorry Dave.
      After my time, I’m afraid. Vera Lynn and Ann Shelton were more my era. Not my favourites mind. More into Doris Day, Rosemary Clooney and Teresa Brewer. The Andrew Sisters were pretty good as well.

  474. JT says:

    Never mind all that. What about this one. No wonder that L/Cpl Bear never came back.
    Little shit.

  475. JT says:

    John B

    Click the JT link

  476. JT says:

    John Billet = John B

    Sloop John B ? Its a song

  477. John Billett says:

    Question

    JT, you asked me a question the other day. Until I know what you’re talking about I can’t answer it. If you would be good enough to explain what you mean by the word (sloop) then I can answer your question.

  478. JT says:

    Billy Boy

    Give us a hand here. Ration allowance 1952/53?

  479. JT says:

    Jack

    Correct, you had a ration card to give to your mother. Also Ration Allowance of so much a day. 4/6? a week or was it a day? Plus Rail Warrant.

    Never had it so good since.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      I’ll take your word for all that info. All I remember is the travel warrant.
      You’re right about, Never had it so good. I preferred Germany to West Indies.

  480. JT says:

    Trivia

    When we joined the army 52/53 there was still food rationing in UK. Bread was not rationed until after the War and bread rationing coupons were called BU’s.

    Not many bay windows in those days.

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      I can remember having leave from Germany and being issued with some sort of ration card. Being a Regular, we had three weeks leave at a time. I got caught up in the worst smog on record in London when returning from my first leave from Minden. Sunday. December 12th 1952. Never forget it.

    • Dave H says:

      JT, doesn’t that tell yer something like, (stop eating bread and lose the bay window).

      • JT says:

        Dave

        Yes of course you are right re bay windows. Shall I give up the bread or the wine? Please don’t say both. Miserable sod. Typical Canadian now?

        When I lived there women not allowed in bars (only in “the lounge”). No booze on Sundays. In Vancouver the big rush on Sunday mornings to Bellingham, Washington State for a drink. Bit like the Ossie 6 o’clock gulp which Derek might remember.

        Even the Penthouse Club closed Sundays. Gave the Family time to get rid of the bodies of the week perhaps.

  481. JT says:

    Dave

    Who was she?

    • Dave H says:

      JT. I’m not daft enough to mention names on here. Good grief man

      • JT says:

        Dave

        You can mention names here and be confident that the info will be confidential. No Names No Pack Drill etc

        What colour was she by the way ?

  482. Dave H says:

    This one is for Jack. Did you ever see her again Jack? She latched on to me after you left.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Dave.
      Notice those waves rolling in on the beach but hardly any movement in the palm trees. If that was Jamaica, it must have been on the south coast.

      • Jack Madron says:

        PS.
        Down the way, where the nights are GAY. Couldn’t sing that now. You’d have Fluffy after you.

  483. JT says:

    Jack, Dave and John B the MMG 3

    Hey John B aren’t you a sloop or summat ?

  484. JT says:

    Mass desertion from the other blogs. Must be something you said Jack.

    Now just: We three from Happidrome, working for the MMG, Ramsbotham, and Enoch and me. Plus Sylvia.

    Is there a song about Sylvia?

  485. JT says:

    JB

    You’ve lost me. Have I missed something again? Why is your son called Old Folly? Seems a bit rude and he can’t be all that old.

    • Dave Hutchinson says:

      JT, no problem it’s all fixed now. JB had a senior moment, thats all, just got mixed up a bit. God JB & JT, I hope we have no more “Js” in here I get confused.

  486. John Billett says:

    JT, Reference: Old Folly: My son Steve visited Jamaica history on web, apparently your story was nearer than mine, Errol Flynn had nothing to do with it, what lying toads they were.
    J B

    • Dave H says:

      JB, It was I that wrote about the Old Folly not JT. Now don’t you get him more confused than he is. He is very old you know and lives in London. I think he has brain rot from all the smog either that or drinking that rotten beer. Get yer self some decent beer JT, like Newcastle Brown Ale.

      • John Billett says:

        Okay Dave H, I will redirect that letter to you. The Old Folly had nothing to do with that old pirate Errol Flynn. Slap wrist time. Be good
        JB

  487. Dave H says:

    Jack, zip it HA HA. Good God I will never hear the last of it.

  488. Dave H says:

    JT, we northern folk know what we are talking about.

    • JT says:

      Dave

      Where in t’ North are thee from lad ?

      • Jack Madron says:

        JT.
        We won’t mention French spies or primates.

        • JT says:

          Jack

          Oh yes I remember now. French Pirates etc

          Dave, do the locals still drag their knuckles on the ground when they walk?

          • Dave H says:

            JT, now come on if you are going to say anything about us lads from the North, get your story right. Pirates had nowt to do with it. Now stop choking your chicken and go do your research.

            • JT says:

              Hey Dave its nowt to do with me. Jack is stirring it.

              I think its perfectly normal to hang a monkey as a French spy and all my family dragged knuckles, doesn’t everyone in t’ North?

            • Dave Hutchinson says:

              JT. Just to put you on the right track, that Monkey story was the doing of the Frenchies, you know what they are like. Nice to your face, and then stab you in the back. JT, everyone in the north are mongrels, way back when the Romans screwed our women, then the Vikings and god knows who else. So we are quite a mixture I would think

  489. Dave H says:

    Jack, do you think I have put Fluffy off or do you think he is gonna try grow face fuzz like JT? But I’m sure just like a bad penny he is going to turn up again one of these days.

    • Jack Madron says:

      No Dave.
      I don’t think you can put Fluffy off. I should just let him ramble on about roof lead, verger etc. He’s very amusing at times. Don’t you think so. JT?

      Dave. I forgot about Bill. I was thinking about our local chaps. Bill lives up in the Herefordshire area and we only know each other through these blogs.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        Well I don’t know about The Rev. He seems to be turned about stripping Vickers, belts, vibrations and all that macho MMG stuff. and he fancies Dave for some strange reason. Dave shouldn’t get too upset by him. Pretty harmless I think.
        At least we seem to have got rid of Bunty. Now she was really scary.

    • JT says:

      Dave what the hell does it matter whether Fluffy he has an attractive beard like me?

      Also regarding the bay window. It was my aunt from t’ North who said and I quote “ee lad tha’s never seen a shithouse with a bay window”. “So get that tripe and onions down thee and bit of black pudding after”

  490. Dave H says:

    JT you should do that belly dance before you jump into bed at night, might do wonders for the Bay Window.

  491. JT says:

    One for the road then an early night for you boys

  492. JT says:

    Dear Santa

    Can I have one for Christmas please ?

  493. JT says:

    On the other hand. ” Underneath the Burkha?”

  494. Dave H says:

    Hey you Guys, the chick was white, a convert. Must be messed up in the head, where do we send her?

  495. Ted Bear says:

    COMING TO A BEACH NEAR YOU

    Now don’t get too excited – you Cornish Cheps – you’ll be getting your share of the new models soon.

    • Jack Madron says:

      Cpl Ted.
      A 35 year old mother has been banned from her local swimming pool for wearing a burkini. A spokesman for the pool, near Paris, said, “This isn’t about segregation. It’s about hygiene.

      The woman said if it isn’t sorted, I will leave the country. Hey, that’s one way of getting rid of them.

  496. Beano Breaking News says:

    Lord Snooty named in new expenses row. The peer is in trouble again after a report that he has been claiming Aunt Matilda’s castle as second home whilst claim housing benefit. It is said that several of his pals occupy the premises.

    This latest blow to the posh peer follows an investigation alleging child abuse by keeping the Twins (Snitch and Snatch) in romper suits for over 60 years.

  497. Dave H says:

    For Well wisher

  498. For Dave and Fluffy

  499. A Pullthrew Ex RAOC Storeman says:

    Dear Bloggers

    Well just logging in. I reckon that navy bible basher is a bit of a you know what bandit. Everyone nows that most RN are.

    Rum Bum and Gramophone records as they used to say. They had nowt else to do most of the time. Some even did knitting.

    • JT says:

      Hi Arthur

      I see your typing is getting better

      • A Pullthrew says:

        Hello JT

        Yes but o9nlyz because the wog bird in the libry helped me. She is nice to me since i askd her to show me her legs. Bert thinks she might fancy me. Thats a laugh. God knoesz what she l;ooks like in that black tent. Might be a bloke says bert

  500. The Rev B Maltravers ex RN says:

    Hello David

    I have been meaning to contact you for some time since Jack and Swanny sort of tipped me off. (Sorry boys).

    For many months I have been out of contact with you soldier boys. I have had a problem concerning some missing lead from the church roof and a misunderstanding concerning weekly visit by the Verger to my house to play Monopoly.

    Unfortunately his wife (a notorious local busy body) took to peeping through window and came to the wrong conclusion.

    As you may know I used to be a Chaplain in the RN until an unfortunate incident concerning a Rating at Pompey in 1965 leading to my resigning my position.

    Anyway David, after following your blogging activities I think we might become pals. Who knows at some future date you might send me the fare so that I can visit your delightful neck of the woods as they say.

    Do call me Fluffy. My sailors did.

    • Dave H says:

      Well Well, Gob Smacked again. As for you playing Monopoly, methinks there was more like a circle jerk going on and would not be surprised if JT was in attendance. As for me sending $$$$ for your fare, sorry but I have already got it saved for JT. He is more my type, I just love face fuzz. I was going to ask Jack but JT has more fuzz. They say you get more of a buzz on the fuzz. Anyways sorry to disappoint, but it seems to me you like sailors, maybe you will find true friendship, down at the local Docks. Regards Dave

  501. Dave H says:

    Could be called a hot dog roast or Burn Baby Burn

  502. JT says:

    Jack

    Knew you would come up with something.

  503. JT says:

    Think I’ll have a nap after this one

    • Jack Madron says:

      JT.
      If that Zambuka had got back any farther, he might have been singing “Ring of Fire”. I wonder if he had onions with that hot dog.

    • Dave H says:

      Wow her cat could get singed if she don’t watch out.

  504. JT says:

    OK so I’ve nothing else to do this afternoon

  505. JT says:

    Fire Down Below.

  506. JT says:

    News today Greek girl sets genitals of British drunk on fire in Crete night club by pouring Zambuka on his exposed bits then lighting it.

    Thought I would get the song in before Jack does.

  507. Paul (Barney) Barnes says:

    I hear that the DCLI have been left out of the service for Harry Patch, whose fault is/was that?

    Any way I heard this morning on Radio Cornwall that there is to be a Memorial Service at Bodmin’s St Petrocs Church sometime in October. Does anyone on here know the exact date, timings etc, because if at all possible I will be digging out the Regimental Jacket, Tie and Beret and would like to attend the service as I think we all should, and show them how the Cornish and the Dukes and todays L.I. Associations can and will give Harry the send off that he deserves. We must attend in numbers and if I can help in anyway I’m here just say the word.

    Regards
    Barney.

  508. Dave H says:

    Jack have you just taken an ugly pill. Ha ha

  509. Jack Madron says:

    Masons. Private Clubs. Unions. Cameron’s snotty club at Oxbridge. Ban the bloody lot. Nothing but trouble.

  510. Dave H says:

    Maybe not JT, but I worked for a living, I don’t wonder you didn’t have a union there anyone who started one would end up wearing cement shoes

  511. JT says:

    Dave

    We didn’t have a union problem at the Penthouse Club Vancouver.

  512. JT says:

    Its ‘ealth and safety innit?

    London firefighter phoned LBC today. He is Health and Safety officer at the fire station.

    If he sees a dud light bulb he has to send for an outside contractor to change it. He is not allowed to use a step ladder, but makes the point that when he goes out with a Fire Engine they carry 40 foot ladder. Doh

    • Dave H says:

      I worked for a chemical company many years ago and had to do a check on the product using a kind of box with a electric light bulb in it. Anyhow, on my night shift, the bulb burned out, so I changed it, left the old one on the desk. Next morning electrician came in and saw the burned bulb, ask me who changed it, I said I did. Well the shit hit the fan. You should have called me in to do it, it’s not your job, the union will have to be told. And I was told by shop steward I was a bad lad. I did the poor electrician out of a call in and about $30.

  513. Arthur Pullthrew says:

    Greetings blog. Finally Got my typping up to speedj you see.

    Alls quiet at the library for a bit. tyye geezer in the dress with beerd still banging his head but i take no notice. Got enough troub;e. at home thanks. The wife has declared war on the bin men. mind you they are a bolshie lot. I reckon most of them have done some porridge so i keep out of it.
    i dont think its my typinh so much as my arthritis.

    Course it might be the stticky keys 0n the library computer I think its jam.
    Times up they only gives me an hour.

  514. JT says:

    Met Police ordered not to wear little Union Flag badges from Brit Legion. Coz it might “offend some people” What people I wonder ?”

    Fortunately the rank and file are saying bollocks and continuing to wear them.

    They will be objecting to the Union Flags covering the coffins of the lads brought back from Afghanistan next.

    But you know Its not the mozzies that object ; its the lefty, liberal arseholes in government paid by our taxes who start all this rubbish.

  515. JT says:

    Its bloody amazing and so typical. Channel 4 news reporting the funeral of the Lt Col of the Welsh Guards referred to him throughout as “the Lieutenant” the Meeja are so fucking ignorant. How disgraceful

    • Jack Madron says:

      John.
      The tabloids are no better. Eight hearses pass through Wootton Bassett and most of the bloody papers have their front pages full of the bloody Jackson family.

  516. Dave H says:

    She is a good un, isn’t she Jack, I played it 3 times, wow.

  517. JT says:

    Alf for Prime Minister ?

  518. Dave H says:

    JT I think Fluffy needs some help , not me , Has probably been hanging around with Michael far too much ,

  519. JT says:

    Dave

    Think you had better lie low for a bit. Jack has dropped you in it.

  520. Rev Maltravers (Fluffy) says:

    Dear Mr Hupp

    I most certainly did not pester a machine gunner. It was his obsession with stripping vicars which caused me to write to him hoping to assist his obvious disturbed state of mind.

    I am always willing to help soldier boys (and sailors)

    Out of touch for some time (doing some actually) but according to Jack Madron I believe there is a poor lad in Canada who might need my help soon when I am not so busy.

  521. Harry Hupp says:

    Rev Maltravers.
    Sir, having failed to pester that poor machine gunner, I notice you are now hounding a poor soul who enjoys donuts. I bet that you are only after his donuts, you greedy sod. Shame on you.

  522. Arthur Pullthrew says:

    JT

    I am writingg to my MP todAY.

    Now Ive got a queer vicar writing to me. TH3 WIFE WILL GO bananas if she finds out. Its this High T stuff getting too cleverr. You doint know whose watching

  523. Rev Maltravers (Fluffy) says:

    Dear Arthur

    I have had to stop visiting the Gents on Clapham Common. This used to be a favourite “cottaging” venue. Its not illegal of course but I believe there are cameras everywhere and in my position is precarious (sort of on probation with the Bishop since the missing lead from the church roof)
    Shall I send you a picture ?

  524. JT says:

    Arthur

    Seems like you have a security problem at the library. Is there CCTV in the gents do you think ?
    If you cant eat a jam donut in the bogs in private just what is the country coming to ?
    Write to your MP.

  525. Arthur Pullthrew says:

    What I want to no is how the bugers know I eat Jam Do nuts in the Gents.

    Ive told Smudger not spend a smuch time in there with those pictures he tares out of magazines . He was just the same in Aldershot always in the bogs

  526. Clr Jeri Khan says:

    Dear Mr Pullthrew

    After due consideration we have reinstated your library card following suspension.

    The council taken a dim view of racism in all its forms and your remark to Ms Khan the librarian was disgraceful and probably criminal but once again we have taken your age into consideration

    Also Mr Denis Khan being a local mullah was not amused at your crude mockery of his perhaps over energetic devotions he was undertaking in the library i.e banging his head on the Holy Book

    On another matter we have as you know received in the past several complaints that you leave the computer keyboards “sticky” We trust that you will in future wash your hands after you eat your jam donuts in the Gents .

    Your obedient servant

    J Khan Clr

    • A Yew. says:

      Mr Khan.
      I agree with you about raceism. If the Lord meant us to run, he would have gave us 4 legs.

  527. Arthur Pullthrew says:

    Dear Globs

    Sorry I have been out ofn touch but I was banned aggain from the libray. My typing is a bit out off practiose

    I will send you a letter what I got from the council again. Bastards.

    Anyhow it was that geezer in the white frock and beerd banging his head on that corin book that got my goat again. I said you want to watch that mate itll do your head in. It was joke but he complaioned to the woman in the black tent who seems to be in charge. `She suspended my library card. I said fuck this for a game of soldiers last time you blamed me for weeing on the floor in the gents and it was my ex army mate poor old Smudger. Never could shoot straight. I didnt drop him in it of course.
    But to get a laugh I asked her to show me her tits and blimey that did it.
    My feet didnt touch til I was out side.

    You known I joined in 46 dont you young shavers. Get some in…ha ha

    More soon if I behave in the library but i think they are agist

    Arthur
    Ex RA

  528. JT says:

    allo allo anyone out there. ?

    • JT says:

      Re Above

      We must hope the come election time something good will happen and the whole bloody nest of crooks and spivs is cleaned out. Hope the press keeps the pressure on.

  529. JT says:

    More Spike

  530. Jack Madron says:

    John.
    Got it. Didn’t notice JT highlighted. Fresh Fruit. Good laugh. You’re getting clever in your old age. I suppose you’re classed as a Silver Surfer now. Well done.

  531. Jack Madron says:

    John.
    What are you testing?

  532. JT says:

    Testing

  533. Swanny Swanson says:

    All. You would think after all the work that Joanna Lumley has done on behalf of the Gurkhas that the government would listen to the people of this country in their outcry of popular demand for those who we – as Soldiers, respect what these fantastic men have done fighting for our used to be Great Nation? Over the last century and more that these great warriors have done on our behalf as fellow Riflemen to not be allowed to stay in the UK, all the poxy MP’s of all parties are only interested in getting richer with their expenses etc. We as ex servicemen have all signed petitions etc for these brave men to be allowed to stay in the UK but it seems to be falling on DEAF EARS!

  534. Jack Madron says:

    Either will do John. Used to enjoy all the Looney tunes. “What’s up Doc”?

  535. JT says:

    Must be Bugs Bunny

  536. JT says:

    “Stand still wabbit”

  537. Jack Madron says:

    John.
    Isn’t he a character in an American cartoon series?

  538. JT says:

    Oz PM Elmer Fudd threw a wobbly because he could not get a hair dryer. Luckily he managed to get his toe nails polished so they looked cute in his sandals.

  539. Editor says:

    JOHANNA LUMLEY HAS BALLS!

    Singlehandedly Johanna has front and centered the wimpy Grated Britain Government to demand expediency over the appalling Gurkha treatment.

    GoodonyerJo!

  540. Paul (Barney) Barnes says:

    Enoch Powell and his speech Rivers of Blood. They called him and labelled him a Racist, but he was not a racist he was in fact a realist who was 20/30 years before his time. He warned this country what would happen and he was right, bang on the nail, bet they wished they had listened to him rather than scorned him now.

    And now they wonder why the BNP are gaining support and votes left right and centre? Like it or not the BNP are now a legal and official political party, just like Sinn Fein? and apparently they reckon that the BNP will back the Gurkhas in their campaign to enable them to stay in the UK.

    So perhaps we should forget the old BNP and whatever we thought of them and look to the new modern version of the BNP? Who knows? Not I.

  541. JT says:

    Muslim dentist in an NHS practice refuses to treat women unless they wear Muslim head dress. I give up.

  542. JT says:

    Now there’s a funny thing. I just got home and got on the blogs after many days of blank out.

  543. JT says:

    Still blogless at home

  544. Jack Madron says:

    How the hell do all these people get into the country in the first place? I remember the trouble we had getting through customes when coming on leave from Germany. Things must be bloody lax nowadays.

  545. John Tenniswood says:

    A man phoned a London Radio Station yesterday. His 2 girls (8 and 10) went to a North London Junior School where 95% of the kids were Muslim. His children were coming home bruised and distressed but would not talk about it. Turns out that they were being bullied by Muslim kids because they were white and Christian.

    After he complained, parents waiting for their children outside the school began taunting the man calling him “Kaffir” (unbeliever) and some of the women spat at him. He removed his girls from school and now has to teach them at home.

    Yesterday I took a bus from Balham to Clapham (3 Miles). On the lower deck out of 19 passengers my wife and I were the only white people. I pointed out that there was a large percentage of Somalis who are easily identified by their facial features. ALL their women and girl children were wearing Muslim head dress.

  546. Jack Madron says:

    The shit houses are kicking the Gurkhas again. What in hell is wrong with this fucking country. It bloody stinks. If you are an undesirable, you can come here and stay but if you serve the country proudly, Good bye. Don’t come back. Time to get the Vickers out of moth balls. I think.

    ED: Hear Hear Jack. See Guardian article linked under Jack’s name. Well done with the linking Jack!

  547. Swanny Swanson says:

    ED, I endorse all of JT’s comments about minor royals. I see in the paper today our MP’s have given themselves an extra weeks holiday, with expenses gone through the roof! Smith has skin thicker than a Rhino’s and I for one don’t see any of them more than professional scroungers!

  548. A Coy Poem says:

    Rosie Rosie, always willing
    Showed us her tits for only a shilling.
    She was a lovely shade of brown
    But not the prettiest in Hamilton town.

  549. JT says:

    Duke of York’s daughter (the fat bint) is on hols. Hope the Jap whaling fleet is in the area. Her police bodyguard for this trip costs £250,000

    Why do the minor royals have police protection and at our expense?

    Should be only the Queen and the old boy.

    Bah

  550. New Zealand Wine Growers says:

    Dear JT

    As Hon Sec of the above association I was interested in your comments about New Zealand Wine. As you know the term Oz Screech describes the typical sound of liquid exiting the following morning (hopefully into the lav) after drinking (budget Australian Wine). I shall be interested to know if you experienced any sounds of that nature this morning.

    By the way the animal disease Blue Tongue cannot be transmitted by our red wine. Our overall advice to you is that you might spend a little more than 2 quid a bottle whether buying OZ or Kiwi wine

    PS: We do add a small quantity of sheep dip as a flavouring agent mainly for our domestic market

  551. JT says:

    Being a red wine connysewer (and cheapskate) as you know I normally drink Oz Screech. Yesterday I was persuaded to try a Kiwi Red. Subtle hint of sheep dip?

    Blue tongue this morning, is this dangerous?

    • Jack Madron says:

      John.
      A statement out today, states that red wine is full of calories. Is this the cause of your bay window? At least you have an excuse. I haven’t.

      • JT says:

        Jack

        What do you drink then?

        • Jack Madron says:

          John.
          Must admit I’m not a big drinker. I’m not TT just gone off booze in the last few years. I must admit that I am rather partial to a Bailey’s Irish Cream. Always had a sweet tooth.

  552. Jack Madron says:

    Bloody hell Ed. Gordon Ramsay for Treasurer! Another two bit cook.

  553. Jack Madron says:

    Hey John.
    Maybe Rudd isn’t the dud that some think he is. A Veggie Ozzie! With Jamie Oliver doing the cooking, who can blame him.

  554. JT says:

    Ed

    Now then Ed calm down calm down. See Rudd made a stewardess cry because she couldn’t find him a veggie meal. Stone the crows mate, a Veggie Ozzie? wots the world coming to?

  555. Dr Strangelove says:

    Seig Heil

    But no brown shirts, it was a crap colour and looked silly.

  556. Editor says:

    BUCKLE UP BOYOS! – BUMPY RIDES AHEAD!

    BUGGER THE BERMUDIAN BANKERS.

    So, ‘Messiah’ Obama, ‘Condom’ Brown and ‘Rub a Dud’ Rudd, with all the other G20 Poison Pollies are shifting the globe into rampant inflation and further recession with excessive spending. ‘Tis the only approach these wankers have –